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Depression Tips

Depression - What Causes It?

Ms. Ashraf Unnisa 85% (10 ratings)
MSc. Counselling psychology, Certification in Learning Disability (CLD), PG Diploma in Family & Marriage Counseling
Psychologist, Hyderabad
Depression - What Causes It?

Life is constant game of changes and people who can adapt to it and move on generally tend to find their pockets of happiness. From bad finances to lack of love to a near ones loss, each of us constantly face struggles that can leave us drained and depressed. People often work on these external factors to find their happiness. Those who suffer from depression as an illness though find it taking over multiple spheres of their lives disabling them from doing routine tasks with ease. Depression, like other diseases, can also have a biological origin. 

Several theories concerning the biologically based cause of depression have been suggested over the years. Simply put, chemical imbalance in the brain can be a trigger to depression. As the 'command center' of our body, the brain uses a number of chemicals as messengers to communicate with other parts of itself and with the nervous system. These chemical messengers, called neurotransmitters are released and received by the brain's nerve cells called neurons. Neurons are constantly communicating with each other by way of exchanging neurotransmitters. This communication system is essential to all of the brain's functions.

Among the biological causes of depression, the most prominent and widely researched is the monoamine hypothesis. The three main monomine triggers of imbalances that trigger depression are neurotransmitters called serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine. Serotonin regulates functions like sleep, aggression, eating, sexual behavior, and mood. Similarly, the catecholamine hypothesis suggests that a deficiency of the neurotransmitter norepinephrine (also known as noradrenaline) in certain areas of the brain was responsible for creating depressed mood. Norepinephrine helps our bodies to recognize and respond to stressful situations. 

Dopamine plays in important role in helping each of us seek out our 'high' or 'pleasure' from rewards. Low dopamine levels may in part explain why depressed people don't derive the same sense of pleasure out of activities or people that they did before becoming depressed.

Another leading cause of clinical depression is focused on the endocrine system. The endocrine system is responsible for making hormones and releasing them into the blood to regulate processes like reaction to stress and sexual development. Hormonal irregularities may lead to depressive symptoms like loss of appetite and sleep. It is further observed that those who have particular endocrine disorders sometimes develop depression, and some individuals who are depressed develop endocrine problems despite having healthy glands. 

In a research done among depressed individuals, over half had a hormone called cortisol in excess in their body and abnormal times of secretion. 

Depression can have many triggers and origins and it is important to see the right doctor who can treat the cause, triggers and symptoms in addition to the disease. Depression has a genetic predisposition. Also, the faulty thought pattern alters the physiology by upsetting the hormonal balance. Psychological professional help should be a priority in depression and its role should not be under emphasized.

5 people found this helpful

What Is Love?

Dr. Nisha Khanna 88% (51 ratings)
Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
What Is Love?

What Is Love

Many people “in love” are addicted to it, just as people are addicted to alcohol, tobacco or other drugs. Love is difficult and requires work and practice. The number of definitions is almost endless. Poets, novelists, and theologians have struggled to define love, as have psychologistspsychiatrists, sociologists, family scientists, and journalists. Think about how you define love and how you know when you are “in love”.

Definitions on Love

  • In love, the paradox occurs that two beings become one yet remain two.

                  -Erich Fromm, Psychiatrist

  • Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.

                  -Ursula K. Le Guin, Novelist

  • He, who knows nothing, loves nothing…But he who understands also lovesnotices, sees…The greater the love, because of the more knowledge inherent in a thing.

                  -Paracelsus, Philosopher

  • Being in Love isn’t ever really loved, it’s just wanting. And it isn’t good. It’s all aching and misery.

                 -James Leo Herlihy, Novelist

  • Love is the history of a woman’s life; it is an episode in man’s life.

                  -Madame De Stael, Novelist

  • Love is a state of perpetual anesthesia.

                  -H. L. Mencken, Journalist

  • When the satisfaction or the security of another person becomes as significant to one as is one’s own security, and then the state of love

               -Harry Stack Sullivan, Psychiatrist

Dimensions of Love

The three dimensions of the love triangle (developed by Robert Sternberg) are

  • Commitment (the cognitive component)
  • Intimacy (the emotional component) and
  • Passion (the motivational component 
  1. CommitmentIt is a cognitive attachment to another person. It also develops over time, beginning slowly and increasing at a faster rate if the relationship is positive. If the relationship fails, commitment disappears. People express commitment when they move their relationship to a more advanced stage (from dating to engagement, from engagement to marriage), by being faithful or by staying in the relationship during difficult times.
  1. Intimacy: It involves sharing feelings and providing emotional support. It usually involves high levels of self-disclosures, the sharing of personal information not ordinarily revealed because of the risk involved. Intimacy gradually increases as closeness grows and deepens as a relationship matures. Few couples are likely to share everything with each other. Human beings need some private space, a bit of their world that is closed to everyone else. But in a mature intimate relationship, most areas are open for discussion and sharing. By opening up, by earning each other’s trust and becoming vulnerable to each other, people can build a strong emotional bond of intimacy.
  1. Passion: It is usually expressed by touchingkissing, and being affectionate, which is linked to physiological arousal; it is also expressed through sexual intercourse. Due to its intensity, passion develops quickly but can also fade quickly. Passion is like an addiction; when it ends, a person can experience withdrawal symptoms such as irritability and depression.

Combining these three dimensions of love in various ways, Sternberg identified eight types of love relationships: non-love, liking, infatuation, empty love, romantic love, fatuous love, companionate love, and consummate love.

  1. Non-love occurs when there is no commitmentintimacy or passion.
  2. Liking begins when there is just intimacy, but no passion or commitment.
  3. When there is just passioninfatuation occurs.
  4. Empty love involves commitment, but no passion or intimacy.
  5. Romantic love has both intimacy and passion, but it is lacking in commitment.
  6. Fatuous love occurs when a person is committed based on passion but has not had the time to develop true intimacy. (For example, a couple falls in love and after seeing each other only on weekends for two months get married).
  7. Companionate love is more characteristics of couples who have been married for years. They have both commitment and intimacy, but they lack the passion they had when they were first married.
  8.  Finally, Consummate love is complete love, containing all three dimensions. it is the goal of most couples.

Most people have experienced several of these types of love and can recognize that each of them feels rather different. Even within one relationship, it is possible to experience two or more types of love over time. A couple, for example, may start out as close friends (liking) and then two years later become sexually involved a year later they may decide to live together.

The Styles of Love

John Lee (1988) described six love styles. Similar to a colour wheel, there are three primary love styles (Eros, Ludus and Storage) and three secondary styles (Pragma, Mania and Agape). Each style has a unique character.

Primary Love Styles

  • Eros is romantic and passionate love, with an emphasis on sensuality.
  • Ludus is courtly love, love as a game with little depth or commitment.
  • Storge (pronounced “STOR-gay”) is based on friendship and on growing together.

The combination of two primary styles, like a chemical reaction, creates the three secondary styles.

Secondary Love Styles

  • Pragma, a combination of Ludus and Storge, produces a practical lover who may “shop around” for a potential partner.
  • Mania, a combination of Eros and Ludus, creates an erotic and game-playing relationship.
  • Agape(pronounced “A-GA-pay”) combines Eros and Storage and results in an intense and committed relationship that is altruistic and caring.

To validate Lee’s approach, researchers found that

  • People who describe themselves as being religious were more oriented toward friendships(Storge), were practical (Pragma), altruistic (Agape), and not inclined to game playing (Ludus).
  • People who described themselves as having high self-esteem were more romantic (Eros); those with low self-esteem were more likely to be game-players (Mania).
  • Looking at male and female (gender) differences, males tended to be Erotic (Eros) and game playing (Ludus),
  • Whereas females tended to focus on friendship (Storge), practical concerns (Pragma), and altruism (Agape).

According to Hendrick and Hendrick (1986, 1989), the six love styles can also be related to sexual attitudes and behaviours.

  • Eros lovers are passionate and seek sex as a peak experience. They are not very self-disclosing but encourage self-disclosure in others that is, they encourage others to reveal personal feelingsexperiences, hopes and disappointment.
  • Agape lovers are similar o Eros lovers, but they see sex as more functional, something to be enjoyed, like other aspects of life.
  • Ludus lovers are game-playing and casual about sex, not very disclosing, uninhibited sexually, and easily bored.
  • Storage lovers are idealistic about sex, encourage disclosures in others and are easily bored.
  • Manic lovers are also somewhat idealistic about sex and are not easily bored.

It is unclear whether one’s love style is constant like personality traits, or whether it varies depending on the kind of relationship style a couple develops.

 

1 person found this helpful

Diabetes And Depression - Understanding The Vicious Circle They Create!

Dr. Milind Patil 89% (51 ratings)
MBBS Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery, MD - Internal Medicine, DM - Endocrinology, DNB (Endocrinology)
Endocrinologist, Pune
Diabetes And Depression - Understanding The Vicious Circle They Create!

Diabetes is one major silent killer. Depression is another silent killer. According to the studies, a patient with diabetes has higher chances of getting depressed. Lack of social support, staying alone, lower income, the presence of diabetes complications and poorly controlled diabetes increase chances of depression in diabetes patients. Similarly depressed patient is at increased risk of development of diabetes. Thus, depression and diabetes have a cyclic relationship.

Need to break

It is very important to break the vicious cycle as it can affect the sugar control, quality of life and patient care. The depressed patient is less likely to follow diet and exercise. They do not take medicines regularly. The depressed patients will have bad control of sugar and increased complications of diabetes. It affects the quality of life of the patient.

How we can break the cycle?

1. Speak out

Depression remains underdiagnosed and untreated. One of the reason is the stigma associated with psychiatric illness in the society. Unless and until patient doesn't talk about it they are not going to improve. Hence ADA recommends evaluating for depression in patients with poorly controlled diabetes.

2. Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy or in particular cognitive behavioral therapy has been proven beneficial towards treating depression.

3. Regular Exercise

Regular exercise is very beneficial towards treating, both depression and diabetes. Exercise helps regulate blood sugar levels and hence can help control diabetes. It also helps in reducing excess weight, which can enhance your self-image and make you feel happier. Simultaneously, it also releases endorphins or the 'feel good' brain chemical. This can help alleviate depression symptoms.

4. Antidepressant

These are the medicines given to improve depression. Under the guidance of a psychiatrist, they help a lot. So don't say no to these medicines when prescribed by the psychiatrist.

1 person found this helpful

Diabetes & Depression - How Are The Associated?

Dr. Satyanarayana Meka 89% (61 ratings)
MBBS Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery, HIV Management Course, HIV Update Course
General Physician, Hyderabad
Diabetes & Depression - How Are The Associated?

Diabetes is a state where the body suffers from lack of energy due to poor metabolic state. This is construed as depression in many patients as they already feel lethargic and subdued. The fatigued state of body in diabetes can be alleviated by exercise which raises endorphins - substances which are released in the body especially by exercise - providing us the necessary elation so much necessary for our recovery

Managing diabetes may make a person feel alone and set apart from their friends and family due to the number of dietary restrictions they need to follow. Additionally, if the person has trouble controlling their blood sugar level, it may make him frustrated and anxious. Over time, these negative emotions can build up into depression.

Depression can make a person lose his sense of purpose and can make regular tasks feel like too much to handle. Thus, a depressed person may stop taking care of himself. The lack of energy can lead to a loss of appetite or unhealthy snacking. This can trigger fluctuations in blood sugar levels that worsen diabetes.

Thus, depression and diabetes have a cyclic relationship. The good news is that these two diseases can be treated together and managing one of these diseases can have a positive effect on the other as well.

Here are a few ways to treat diabetes and depression:

  1. Regular Exercise: Regular exercise is very beneficial towards treating, both depression and diabetes. Exercise helps regulate blood sugar levels and hence can help control diabetes. It also helps in reducing excess weight, which can enhance your self image and make you feel happier. Simultaneously, it also releases endorphins or the 'feel good' brain chemical. This can help alleviate depression symptoms.
  2. A Balanced DietA balanced diet is essential for good health and can help manage, both these disorders. Along with a balanced diet, there is also a need to abstain from snacking between meals. Reducing the amount of sugar in your meals helps stabilize blood sugar level and control fluctuations. Stable blood sugar level keep a person from becoming increasingly anxious and can thus prevent depression.
  3. Restful Sleep: A good night's sleep can treat, both diabetes and depression. If you have proper sleep, you will awake feeling refreshed and energetic. This positive energy balances the negativity of depression, lowers the urge to snack and helps in stabilizing blood sugar level.
  4. PsychotherapyPsychotherapy or in particular cognitive behavioral therapyhas been proven beneficial towards treating depression. This in turn gives a person the motivation needed to manage his diabetes as well.

Depression - How Therapy Sessions Can Be Of Help?

Dr. Tushar Kant Sharma 89% (15 ratings)
MBBS, DNB
Psychiatrist, Jaipur
Depression - How Therapy Sessions Can Be Of Help?

Depression is recognized as a mood disorder characterized by the prolonged feeling of sadness and loss of interest in otherwise regular activities. The symptoms include loss of sleep and appetite, loss of interest, persistent feeling of sadness and lowered self-esteem. These symptoms should last for a minimum of 4 weeks for the individual to be diagnosed with depression. Sometimes, at its later stages, depression can also be accompanied by suicidal tendencies.

How it can be treated?

  1. Role of anti-depressants: Depression has become rather common in the present day scenario. The treatment varies from prescription drugs to therapy. People who have depression are usually given mood enhancers and anti-depressants. Antidepressants are medicines used to help people who have depression. With the help of these depression medications, most people can achieve significant recovery from depression. Most antidepressants are believed to work by slowing the removal of certain chemicals from the brain. These chemicals are called neurotransmitters (such as serotonin and norepinephrine). Neurotransmitters are needed for normal brain function and are involved in the control of mood and in other responses and functions, such as eating, sleep, pain, and thinking. Antidepressants help people with depression by making these natural chemicals more available to the brain. By restoring the brain’s chemical balance, antidepressants help relieve the symptoms of depression. Specifically, antidepressant drugs help reduce the extreme sadness, hopelessness, and lack of interest in life that are typical in people with depression. However, these are but short-term solutions to depression and don’t necessarily cure the individual completely. For the treatment to be effective, the drug intake must be combined with therapeutic techniques to solve the problem at the root level.
  2. Therapy: Different therapeutic techniques are used to treat depression depending majorly on the individual, the cause of depression and general history and state of mind. Research suggests that client centered therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy are a good start with an average case of depression. The therapists usually incorporate several other methods based on the client’s need to get maximum effect. Adlerian techniques, where individuals are made to comprehend the thoughts and emotions which influence their lifestyles and adopt a more productive and positive way of life, are rather helpful with most clients who suffer from depression.

Note
Depression is a fairly common mental health disorder today, affecting a large population. Depression must be acknowledged as a proper mood disorder and not just a passing phase. It is completely curable with proper medicine and therapeutic sessions. The individual is able to move over the feelings of unhappiness and lack of interest with proper care and acceptance from loved ones in addition to therapy and the drugs, of course.

Signs And Symptoms Of Manic Depressive Disorder!

Dr. Gauttam Prajapati 90% (73 ratings)
D.P.M
Psychiatrist, Mehsana
Signs And Symptoms Of Manic Depressive Disorder!

Manic depression, also known as bipolar disorder in recent days, is a major mood disorder characterized by hypomanic or manic episodes (deviation from one's usual mood along with abnormally high energy levels). Mania involves sleeplessness, along with psychosis, hallucinations, rage, grandiose delusions or paranoia. Mania or hypomania isn’t usually harmful to the patient and they might exhibit increased capacity for work and creativity. Depressive episodes however, can be debilitating and often life threatening as the person becomes self-destructive and suicidal in many instances. 

The extent of mood swings can vary from extreme to very mild. They can occur progressively or suddenly and might last for few days to weeks. Patients affected by bipolar disorder may experience disturbances in thinking apart from depressive or manic episodes. Distortions of perception and impaired social functioning are also not uncommon. The cause of bipolar disorder is not fully understood like most mental health conditions and is often thought to be hereditary.

The extent of the seriousness of the bipolar symptoms varies from person to person. In some people, the disorder is not full blown and they don’t exhibit all the symptoms. Others who aren’t that lucky might have to be hospitalized multiple times in their lives as the symptoms creep into their work and personal life and make living a normal life a tough challenge. 

Psychotic symptoms such as disorganized thinking, hallucinations and delusions might make a person do things that demand the urgency of hospitalization to keep them safe from their suicidal impulses. These symptoms might need to be urgently addressed by a psychiatrist and with the help of medications, the person might be able to regain control of their lives.

In depressive phase, doctors recommend anti-depressant also. Depressive symptoms required 15days duration to call depression and main symptoms are low mood and lacke of interest in pleausarable activity. In mania, symptoms required atleast 4 days duration to call manic episode. Cause of disorder are any stressful or traumatic life event like divorce, nearby persons death, loss of job, loss of money, etc.

The symptoms of bipolar disorder are many and can be mainly categorized into two (sometimes overlapping) categories of mania or hypomania and depression:

Manic symptoms include: 

  1. Grandiose delusions (delusion of grandeur) 
  2. Racing thoughts which are often disconnected
  3. Sense of euphoria or false elation
  4. Irritability without cause
  5. Hampered social functioning
  6. Increased sexual inclination and risky sexual behavior
  7. Hyperactivity
  8. Increase in talking volume or speed
  9. Impaired judgment
  10. Reduced sleep requirements owing to extra energy levels
  11. Increased productivity and creativity

Depressive symptoms include:

  1. Abnormal eating patterns like over or under-eating to the extent of severe medical complications accompanied by drastic changes in weight
  2. Difficulty in concentration, making decisions and remembering
  3. Lack of energy or fatigue 
  4. Contemplating about death for prolonged periods of time and suicidal behavior
  5. Oversleeping, insomnia or early awakening
  6. Persistent pessimism 
  7. Irritability and restlessness
  8. Feeling of hopeless and negative attitude

Mood stabilizers, such as lithium are commonly employed to treat bipolar disorder. Anticonvulsants, benzodiazepines and anti psychotics can also be used in the treatment. Along with medications, support from family and friends is of the utmost importance as they need to help provide all the support required in making the person functional and healthy.

2 people found this helpful

PMS - 7 Effective Ways To Deal With It!

Dr. Gautam Sonawane 85% (10 ratings)
DGO, DNB - Obs & Gynae, Certificate Training In Gynaecologic Endoscopy, MBBS Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery
Gynaecologist, Mumbai
PMS - 7 Effective Ways To Deal With It!

PMS is often treated as a joke but for many women, it is a monthly nightmare. Muscle crampsheadachesbloatingbreast tendernessanxiety and depressionare common symptoms of PMS. Though there is no set cure for PMS here are afew tips that will help you deal with it.

  • Set an exercise routine: Exercising not only helps you maintain weight but also helps dealing with PMS. You only need to set aside 30 minutes a day for a brisk walk, jog, swim or even dance. Aerobic exercises improve blood circulation, ease stress and help the brain release happy hormones.
  • Change your diet: If you are feeling bloated and depressed, cut back on simple carbohydrates like sugar and fat and increase your consumption of complex carbohydrates like fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Do not attempt a low carb diet to lose weight if you suffer from PMS. Reducing the simple carbohydrates in the body and increasing the complex carbohydrates keeps you body feeling full for longer and increases the serotonin levels in the body.
  • Quit alcohol and caffeine: Drinking a glass of wine or a cup of coffee may give you temporary relief from PMS symptoms but in the long run they aggravate your PMS symptoms such as headaches, breast tenderness and mood swings. Alcohol may also contribute towards lowering the magnesium levels in your body and thereby make you feel bloated.
  • Relax: One of the effects of PMS is to make you feel anxious and tense. The easiest way to address this is by learning to relax. Try meditation or yoga for half an hour every morning. This will improve your overall health as well as soothe muscle pains.
  • Take a few supplements: Research says that certain fatty acids like Omega 3 and linoleic acid can lower irritability and body aches associated with PMS. Calcium is also known to help ease PMS symptoms. Getting these nutrients in the required levels may not be possible only through your daily meals. Hence, you can also consider supplements to ease your pains.
  • Use Birth control pills: Birth control pills with the drospirenone hormone can help ease symptoms of severe PMS. Menstruation is often accompanied by a drop in estrogen levels that can lead to migraines. Birth control pills also regulates your hormones and hence avoids these fluctuations. It also keeps your ovaries from releasing eggs every month and hence reduces the intensity of the associated cramps.
  • Talk to people: You are not alone when it comes to PMS. Instead of keeping quiet about your discomfort, talk to people who may be experiencing something similar. Sharing your problems will introduce you to new ways of dealing with it. You could also get online support through various discussion groups.
2 people found this helpful

What Is Addison's Disease?

Dr. Rajarshi Mukhopadhyay 85% (20 ratings)
FRCP (Edinburg), DM - Endocrinology, CCT (Endocrinology), MRCP - Diabetes & Endocrinology, MRCP (UK), MD & DNB - General Medicine, MBBS Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery
Endocrinologist, Kolkata
What Is Addison's Disease?

While cold and cough are common, diseases like Addison’s disease are rare. It is also known as chronic adrenal insufficiency or hypocortisolism as it is a result of insufficient production of hormones like cortisol and aldosterone by the adrenal glands. This disease can affect men and women of any age.

There are two types of Addison’s disease. These are:

  1. Primary adrenal insufficiency: In this case, the adrenal glands themselves have a problem.
  2. Secondary adrenal insufficiency: If the hormone production in the adrenal glands is restricted by a problem that has started somewhere else like the pituitary gland, for example, it is known as secondary adrenal insufficiency.

Primary adrenal insufficiency is more common of the two. This could be triggered as a result of autoimmune diseases or a long lasting infection such as HIV, tuberculosis and some fungal infections. Cancer can also cause this type of Addison’s disease.

Secondary adrenal insufficiency is usually caused by a problem with the pituitary gland or the hypothalamus as they are responsible for the production of hormones that stimulate the adrenal glands. Damage caused to the pituitary gland by tumors or radiation and surgery can also interfere with hormone production. Prolonged and improper use of steroid hormones can also trigger this condition.

Addison’s disease has a very slow progression and its symptoms develop gradually over time. Some of these symptoms are:

  1. Weight loss and loss of appetite
  2. Extreme fatigue
  3. Hyperpigmentation
  4. Low blood pressure
  5. Craving for salt
  6. Nausea and diarrhea
  7. Pain in the abdomen and joint pains
  8. Irritability
  9. Depression
  10. Loss of body hair and sexual dysfunction in women

Treatment for Addison’s disease involves hormone replacement therapy. This aims at correcting the hormone levels in the body. Hormone replacement therapy includes oral corticosteroids and corticosteroid injections. The dosage of these steroids could vary depending on the situation. For example, the doctor may suggest a temporary high dosage when the patient is in a stressful condition. Along with this, sodium is also recommended especially during the summer months and while exercising. This medication must be taken regularly as skipping a single dose can be dangerous.

In some cases this condition can become life threatening. An addisonian crisis causes a drop in blood pressure, sugar and a spike in potassium levels in the body. This requires immediate medical attention and can be treated with intravenous injections of hydrocortisone, saline solution and sugar.
 

Don't Suffer Emotional Abuse Quitely!

Dr. Nisha Khanna 88% (51 ratings)
Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Don't Suffer Emotional Abuse Quitely!

Emotional abuse is a regular pattern of threat, constant criticism, and manipulation to control and suppress the other person. It doesn’t always lead to physical abuse but equally harmful as Physical Abuse. It is extremely damaging to your self-esteem and confidence. Any relationship can be emotionally abusive like parent-child, siblings, friendship, intimate relationship (boyfriend-girlfriend) and husband-wife relationship. The most common emotionally abusive relationship is of husband and wife.

Sometimes for years, victim person doesn’t see ill-treatment as abuse. Victim person lives in denial to deal with stress and this cause individual further severe Emotional Trauma, Depression, Anxiety and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Abusive People have their own set of insecurities n they don’t know how to have positive healthy relationships. They mostly feel hurt, anger and powerless. Most abusers are suffering from different personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and Antisocial Personality Disorder and so on. If you face few of following behaviours, you need professional help and it’s a possibility of an emotionally abusive relationship:

 

  • The person feels extreme possessiveness or constant jealousy. He/she would like to control all aspects of your life and through threats or violence try to assert dominance over you. Small arguments tend to escalate physical abuse between both of you over the day to day conversations and due to their manipulation tactics you start justifying the abuse and start believing you’re the problem.
  • In the initial of relationship, a person keeps pressurizing for immediate commitment. Person demeans you, your achievements, your hopes and dreams. The person makes you feel that you are always wrong and whatever decisions you made are wrong. Whatever you do, it’s never enough and right for the person. They neglect you to punish you and may have unrealistic expectations.
  • It’s good if a couple spends quality time together but the problem starts when the person (your spouse) isolates you from family and friends. Even person had a problem with whatever you do with your spare time or to make yourself happy like exercise, car, phone, Family, Friends etc.
  • The person won’t accept own faults and blames you or others. They play the victim and blame you for everything like their problems, failures and unhappiness. They always point out faults in you and your weaknesses. They rarely say sorry.
  • The person mostly disregards your opinion, needs and ideas and always expects you to serve and obey. They may try to control you and want you to take permission to make decisions or go out somewhere. They may try to manage the finances like how you spend money.
  • The person keeps criticizing you and use vulnerable points about your past and makes you feel bad about yourself. They may humiliate you n put you down. They may call you names or bully you and make fun of you in front of others. They may use negative remarks to frighten you but won’t take others laughing at them.
  • The person may have sudden mood swings. They may not show empathy and mostly emotionally unavailable. They don’t care about your feelings. They may deny their behaviour whenever confronted.
  • A person is never happy whatever you do and you go out of the way to make the person happy. To keep the peace in the relationship, you may stay silent, whenever you are angry.
  • A person is cruel to others esp. children and animals and may have a history of hitting in the past. Person manipulates you in unwanted sex or may deny for sex to manipulate and control you.

If you are facing such issues, first thing is verbal abuse is a choice and you have to accept that it’s happening with you. You have to identify the patterns of controlling behaviour abuser use and accept the responsibility of your behaviour and start taking steps how to overcome it and finally approach us for professional help.

 

2 people found this helpful

Miscarriage - How To Get Over The Mental Trauma?

Dr. Manisha Arora 90% (12 ratings)
MS - Obstetrics & Gynaecology, MBBS
Gynaecologist, Gurgaon
Miscarriage - How To Get Over The Mental Trauma?

Once the reality of the positive pregnancy test sets in, dreaming about the yet-to-arrive begins. Curiosity about gender, options for names, ways to manage, shopping ideas, etc., begin to get discussed. And then totally out of the blue the news comes that there is a miscarriage. This is one of the most depressing phases. It is very important for the family to be around and support each other. While the entire family is upset and hurt over the news, the mother needs most care as there is just not emotional but a huge physical component also to the episode. On the other hand, remember that miscarriages are extremely common, and is no indication of a fertility issue.

The first step would be to diagnose and confirm the miscarriage. After that, depending on whether it was complete or incomplete, some medical intervention might be required. In most cases, medications like misoprostol are given to expel the uterine contents. These help by clearing out the contents in about a couple of days' time. In some cases, a D and C might be required if your doctor suspects that medication will not suffice. This also helps identify if there is any issue in the uterus that could have caused the miscarriage.

While the above takes care of the physical part, the emotional component also requires cautious management. Needless to say, this is trickier than the earlier one.

  • Mourn to your heart's content - When you have nursed a life within you and have lost it, it is very normal to cry for its loss. There would be a mix of emotions - shock, denial, confusion, anger, grief, depression, etc. Take some solace from that fact that this is nature's way of removing unhealthy fetuses.
  • Get someone to talk to - Need not be your husband, but anybody whom you can talk to without having to watch words. A sibling, a good friend, a close relative - your choice. Make sure you don't pick ones who will judge and sympathize with you. More than sympathy, you need someone understanding and knowledgeable.
  • Socialize more - As you would have kept to yourself post your positive test, use this time to socialize more and meet friends whom you have not regularly been in touch with. Close family members, your children (if you already have), society groups, movie groups, etc., help to a great extent.
  • Formal medical counseling: If you are not able to cope with your regular circle of family and friends, try seeking professional advice from counseling.
  • Spirituality - Whether you believe in temple or churches, spend some time there. Involve in some religious activity if you would like, this helps very often.

As much as it is painful and traumatic, it is not very uncommon or unnatural. Get back on your feet, the sooner you do, the better.

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