Anger Management!
Anger!
Anger!
All throughout our lives, we are likely to make mistakes, hurt people. Our actions and things we say in anger can bring much suffering to others. Much of this happens inadvertently. Despite that, it is important to make amends. And making it up to the person you wronged starts with an apology. A true and heartfelt apology can mend fences and repair strained relationships.
What is an Apology?
An apology is an act that shows you are remorseful of your words or actions. Through it, you show someone that you regret having hurt him or her. An apology can restore a person’s faith or love in you.
Why should you apologize?
Here are a few reasons why you should apologize-
• If your behaviour had pained or harmed someone, it will most likely end communication or discourse between you. If that person matters to you or if you care for him/her, then you will want to re-establish dialogue, then an apology is the best way to do it.
• An apology shows that you acknowledge your mistake. This will help the other person forgive you.
• An apology will tell the person you aggrieved that you have learnt from your mistake and will possibly not be making them again.
• When you insult someone, you rob them of their dignity. With an apology, you restore it. It will also prevent the other person from unjustly blaming herself/himself.
Are you apologizing wrong?
There are a few things you must never do when you apologize.
• People often blame others for the mistake they made and bring this up when they apologize. This will make you come across as a person looking to avoid responsibility.
• Sometimes when people apologize, they also try to explain why they did what they did. This justification does not do you any favours.
• A wrongdoer can sometimes downplay his/her actions, this only adds to the injustice that was perpetrated.
• Apologizing simply to brush an issue aside and move on is wrong.
What is the Right Way to Apologize?
When you apologize for the wrong way, you are only making things worse. So, here are a few tips for you that will make your apology come across as sincere-
• For an apology to mean something you have to truly feel that you did something terrible. The intention behind the apology should be to make amends and not simply because you need something from the person, you are apologizing to. Your apology has to be heartfelt.
• Ask the person’s permission. If she/he has stopped talking to you, don’t just barge in, request for a couple of minutes of her/his time and then gradually delve into your apology.
• State clearly that you realize your mistake.
• Then explain how you intend to make things better or right the situation.
• Tell her/him that you will never repeat the same mistake and mean it when you say it.
• Ask for her/his forgiveness.
Many people baulk at apologizing because they live under the delusion that asking for forgiveness is demeaning. It takes courage to own up that you were wrong but unless you learn to apologize and do it the right way, you will end up alienating everyone from your life.
Apologizing to a Colleague or a Boss
Just like with your loved ones, a professional apology too needs to be sincere. There are two ways to go about it. If you are well acquainted with your colleagues you can directly approach them and apologize. But if you have to say sorry to your boss or any other colleague, you should consider penning down your apology.
Should you apologize if you didn’t do anything wrong?
No, do not ever apologize when you know you haven’t done anything wrong. This is the surest way to make people take you for granted. They will tread all over you because they know you will blame yourself for their actions and they will get away with it. An apology is an art that you have to master if you want to sail smoothly throughout life.
While we all wish to avoid emotional distress due to the sense of loss and fear attached to it, we invariably become a victim of such pain at some point in time in our lives. Here the irony is that the more we want to escape pain, the nearer it comes to us, and the more intense its effects get.
There is hardly an individual around the globe who have not gone through ups and downs, but it doesn't signify that there is something wrong in the life we lead. It only manifests that we are human beings who can withstand the wrongs and hope for a better tomorrow.
Here are some coping strategies when you are down with mental agony.
Pain always comes with a message. Once you get to decipher this message, it becomes easier to find out coping strategies and ways to mitigate the pain while the pain eventually subsides.
Do you get angry easily? Do you fume when something goes against your wish? Does your blood pressure rocket when someone tells you something that you don't like? Anger is a normal emotion of human psychology, but it is equally important to keep your anger under control.Just like any other emotion, anger too varies with every individual and the circumstances.Uncontrolled anger can lead to mental and physical stress along with stress on relationships as well as your health. Therefore, it is important to practice anger management exercises to control such extremes of emotions.
Here are some of the anger management tips that can help you control your anger:
1. Think before you speak:We often say something out of anger and then regret it later.This is a common condition that has been faced by almost everyone at some point of time. Do not say things abruptly without thinking. Always take your time and think over what you are about to say.
2. Express your anger once you are calm: Do not say things at the heat of the moment. Once you calm down, express your views on things that are bothering you. This will help you to express better without hurting anyone.
3. Exercise: Regular exercise is one of the best tools to reduce stress. Light meditative exercises performed on a regular basis such as a morning jog or deep breathing can control your anger to a great extent.
4. Identify the specific cause: Instead of being grumpy about things that make you angry, try to find out the root cause of the issue and eliminate it, so that you don't have to face it again. Remind yourself that anger won't solve the problem and can only make situations worse.
5. Hold no grudge: Holding on to the negative feelings can only have a negative impact on your own health. Learn to forgive others. Forgiving not only keeps the relationship healthy, but also keeps you away from stress and negative emotions.
6. Practice relaxation tactics:When your temper reaches its height, put your relaxation tactics in action. Few tactics like deep breathing or repeating words to yourself like "Take it easy" or "Calm down" can actually calm you down during critical situations.
7. Take a timeout: Take short breaks during stressful times of your day. This helps to release some of your stress and calm you down. You may also listen to music, take a light snack or do something that you like, to spend some time away from stressful conditions of your daily routine.
Anger is a very negative emotion and can be the underlying cause of many relationships falling apart. There are people who cannot manage their anger completely and express it by yelling, throwing things, or even physically harming others. While anger is a natural emotion, it is important to control it else it can even harm one’s own health.
Research has proven that every emotion is associated with a chemical reaction in the brain. While happiness produces certain chemicals, anger produces another set, leading to a different impact on health. Therefore, it is essential to learn to control anger, so that the negative reactions can be controlled.
The following are some simple but effective ways to manage your temper:
Do you get angry easily? Do you fume when something goes against your wish? Does your blood pressure rocket when someone tells you something that you don't like? Anger is a normal emotion of human psychology, but it is equally important to keep your anger under control. Just like any other emotion, anger too varies with every individual and the circumstances. Uncontrolled anger can lead to mental and physical stress along with stress on relationships as well as your health. Therefore, it is important to practice anger management exercises to control such extremes of emotions.
Here are some of the anger management tips that can help you control your anger:
1. Think before you speak: We often say something out of anger and then regret it later. This is a common condition that has been faced by almost everyone at some point in time. Do not say things abruptly without thinking. Always take your time and think over what you are about to say.
2. Express your anger once you are calm: Do not say things at the heat of the moment. Once you calm down, express your views on things that are bothering you. This will help you to express better without hurting anyone.
3. Exercise: Regular exercise is one of the best tools to reduce stress. Light meditative exercises performed on a regular basis such as a morning jog or deep breathing can control your anger to a great extent.
4. Identify the specific cause: Instead of being grumpy about things that make you angry, try to find out the root cause of the issue and eliminate it, so that you don't have to face it again. Remind yourself that anger won't solve the problem and can only make situations worse.
5. Hold no grudge: Holding on to the negative feelings can only have a negative impact on your own health. Learn to forgive others. Forgiving not only keeps the relationship healthy but also keeps you away from stress and negative emotions.
6. Practice relaxation tactics: When your temper reaches its height, put your relaxation tactics in action. Few tactics like deep breathing or repeating words to yourself like "Take it easy" or "Calm down" can actually calm you down during critical situations.
7. Take a timeout: Take short breaks during stressful times of your day. This helps to release some of your stress and calm you down. You may also listen to music, take a light snack or do something that you like, to spend some time away from stressful conditions of your daily routine.
Anger is a type of feeling whereas aggression is a type of behaviour. However, the two are frequently confused with each other. At different times individuals use their anger as a reason to act in an aggressive way. Here are a few differences between anger and aggression:
Anger is an acceptable feeling simply like bliss or sadness. Everybody feels angry once in a while. However, numerous individuals deny that they ever feel angry. For others, they have a tendency to wind up being angry to conceal different sentiments and emotions, for example, hurt and sadness. Angry sentiments can discharge endorphins, which are very powerful chemicals inside the body. This rush of energy can help individuals to alleviate themselves from feeling sad or hurt. Nonetheless, covering these very basic and fundamental feelings with anger is not a sound and healthy coping mechanism. Feeling angry is all right, however, the practice that people show when they feel angry may fall into the category of aggression. Anger is a very normal and typical feeling.
Aggression, on the other hand, is a decision. Just because you feel angry and furious does not give you the authorization to treat others poorly. Forceful practices tend to scare the other individual into doing something whether they need to or not. At the point when individuals carry on forcefully, they do not recognise the other individual's sentiments or necessities. Rather, they want the other individual to give in. There are a bunch of approaches to carry on aggressively and it might turn out to be physically injurious. Verbal types of aggression involve making threats or demands. It might incorporate verbally abusing or putting the other individual down. Physical types of aggression may incorporate tossing things, breaking things, hammering things, or physical assaults.
Aggressive conduct can be separated into different classes. These include instrumental aggression and receptive aggression. Instrumental aggression is objective guided aggression in which harm to another is not the essential objective, despite the fact that it can be an optional consequence of the activity. Another sort of aggression is called responsive aggression. Once in a while, it is referred to as hostile aggression. Responsive aggression is conduct that has harm as its primary and in some cases secondary objective. As a rule, this activity is because of an apparent unfairness, insult, or wrongdoing.
Anger is an impermanent emotional state brought on by disappointment and frustration. Aggression, on the other hand, is a regular attempt to hurt a person or to destroy property. In evaluating the conduct, try to make out the difference between anger and aggression that demonstrates emotional issues so as to lead a more normal and well-adjusted life. One can also take the help of anger management or therapy for better evaluation of the source of anger and its surrounding feelings.
Becoming a parent is one of the greatest joys in life. It is a magical feeling to hold your child in your arms for the first time. However, as your child grows up, you will notice certain behavioural changes that can be difficult to control or withstand. Temper tantrums are common in children. A child uses tantrums to vent frustration and anger, which he/she feels toward a person or a situation.
While such temper tantrums may lead you to lose your temper, remember that children do not have the same emotional maturity as that of an adult. Therefore, rather than being strict to your child, here are some ways to deal with temper tantrums.
1. Don’t try to calm your child: Temper tantrums are often attention seeking in nature. Therefore, you will make it worse if you try too hard to calm your child while he/she is throwing such a tantrum. Instead, choose to ignore the behaviour and go about doing your job. However, keep an eye out to check that your child does not do anything to harm himself/herself or others during this time. You should also verbally clarify that such behaviour is not acceptable.
2. Speak softly but with resolve: Many parents seem to think that shouting at their kids helps against temper tantrums. It does not. In fact, the more your child shouts, the more softly you should interact with them. When you shout you give your child the opportunity to shout - they do this so that they can be heard. Instead, be stern. Sometimes offering a choice can help your child feel as if he/she is in control of the situation.
3. Empathize with your child: Seeing the world from your toddler’s perspective is no easy task. This is why parents often think that a temper tantrum is meaningless. However, in most cases, a child’s temper tantrum is rooted in the inability to perform a task or articulate his/her wishes. As a parent, you need to devise alternate forms of communication with your child, so that he/she can express feelings better.
4. Give them some space: Rather than scolding your child for throwing a tantrum, let him/her express their frustration. This is similar to the concept of adults venting undesirable feelings. However, tell your kids to express frustration in a non-destructive way. This approach helps your child become emotionally stronger, as they learn to deal with sadness and anger in their own way, without requiring support from elders.
You need to understand that all children throw temper tantrums at one time or another. How you handle the situation determines how your child will deal with frustration and sorrow in later parts of their life.
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