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Dr. Guruprasad Shivakamat  - Psychologist, Thane

Dr. Guruprasad Shivakamat

Masters In Psychology , CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy , REBT Rational Em...

Psychologist, Thane

14 Years Experience  ·  2300 - 4000 at clinic  ·  ₹1000 online
Dr. Guruprasad Shivakamat Masters In Psychology , CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therap... Psychologist, Thane
14 Years Experience  ·  2300 - 4000 at clinic  ·  ₹1000 online
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Ways to Clear Your Mind of Negative Thoughts


 Hello,

My name is Guruprasad Shivakumar. I’m a counselling psychologist and I am an expert in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and acceptance commitment therapy. And today I am going to talk about how therapy works. A lot of time clients ask me that how does therapy work, and when do we need to talk therapy and all that. So, along with me you also do this small exercise you know, imagine that in front of you there is a wall, on that wall imagine that all the things are there that you want in your life. All the people, all the great things you want to achieve, or all the thing that you want to do. Also imagine that there all the different steps of struggle that you go through in life, that too are present on that wall, where there is a lot of pain, a lot of things that you are trying to resist or avoid things, or the people who you don’t want to meet, even they are actually present. It is basically this world’s representation of our life. Also imagine that on this wall itself there are lots of other issues you deal like the conflict with your son, the maid not coming on the day, your health problems, your cold cases, the new GST bills, all that is also on that wall. And also there are things that you want to do on regular bases like cooking, meeting people, staying with your baby, driving, and maybe paying taxes. Now, let’s imagine that your hands are your thoughts and follow me when I am actually doing this exercise. Now let imagine that my, my hands are my thoughts, and your hands are your thoughts and these thoughts are actually coming, and you know, trying to suppress all those things you can see on the wall. The good things, the bad things, the good feelings, the bad feelings, everything that is there on the wall, all the thing that you want to do in life or you perform daily, the routine and everything. That all which is there on the wall you know, now in your thoughts and feelings are actually coming and hitting on your face somewhere. You are not able to see that. You actually do this, like you know, just put those hands on your face. Now let’s see what happens when you get hooked with thoughts. You know, when you have on your face, now you are hooked with your thoughts and feelings you are not able to get out of them and they are so defused in what you want to do that even if you are trying to, trying really hard, you are not able to figure out what exactly has to be done.

Now when you have covered your eyes with these hands and you are not able to see a lot of stuff. Firstly, see how much you are missing out right now. How disconnected and engaged you are because of this action. You are disengaged from the people that matter, the things you want to do, the things that you want to perform. If the person you love the most is right in front of you, you are still disengaged because if you want to get connected, you are completely disconnected, because of your thoughts and feelings. Secondly, also notice how difficult it is to focus your attention on the things you need to do. If there is an important task you need to do right now, how difficult it is to do it. If there is a problem that needs attention right now, it would be the most difficult thing to tackle with all this kind of thoughts and feelings that are fusing you and not able to make you perform these actions. Thirdly, notice how difficult it is to take action because bot your hands are engaged in you to know, trying to avoid the things you don’t want to see, or you don’t want to experience certain kind of feelings, or you are trying to resist certain kind of thoughts.so this definitely doesn’t let you take actions. Small actions that make your life better, small work, the small routine that you want to do every day.

So, as you are already experiencing the darkness, you know, you are not able to see, you are not able to perform a couple of actions that are required on a day to day bases like you know, looking out for your baby, doing small things, stuffing your routine, driving, or going from one place to another, or just being with your spouse, to cook a dinner, to be with you baby, or just to drive, so all that is becoming much more difficult to take an action. Now, slowly remove your hands from your face, and see what happens when you are unhooked from your thoughts. The moment you are unhooked from your thoughts. Thoughts are there, you are not resisting them, you can still see them, you know, and we have not just chopped or not just cut it off, they are still there with us, but now we are okay with the thoughts. You know we are, we know how to manage this thought and that’s what therapy is. What therapy does is in action it teaches and enables you to manage your thoughts and feelings in a different way. It doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change your thoughts, you know, it doesn’t make you think, it doesn’t change your circumstances, but it definitely changes the way you are managing the things right now. You know, the managing the thoughts and feeling right now. It just makes things more accessible. It puts on those thoughts somewhere on maybe like on a table and you are free to do a lot of other things. You see even really painful thoughts and memories are that kind of information also has some amount of importance in our life. Maybe it just tells us how to do things differently. Simply reminding us that you know, how we can be much kinder to others and to self, and if there is nothing we can do with these thoughts, useful with these thoughts, just let them sit there and be there, rather than trying to fuse them with your day to day working. Usually, Psychotherapy helps you and supports you in managing these thoughts differently, memories differently, the way you handle things are different. If you have any further queries, you can contact me through Lybrate.

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Hi, I am Dr Guruprasad and I am a counselling Psychologist. I am an experitise in cognitive behav...

Hi, I am Mr. Guruprasad and I am a counselling Psychologist. I am an experitise in cognitive behavioural therapy and acceptance commitment therapy and this is what I practice.

So here I am going to talk something about Motivation. A lot of time we wait that something has to motivate us so that we can take an action. But the science and research shows completely different things. We have certain things in our mind that some conditions have to be met so that we do or perform certain actions. A lot of people are waiting that they should get motivated for certain things and only then they are going to take certain actions. But this is not true. THis is not how motivation works. Motivation works on completely different levels. You need to take certain actions first so that you can be motivated. So, rather than waiting for some motivation to take, take an action earlier and automatically motivation will follow.
Many times the client suffer with the exercises or the way they are doing in life for certain types of health behaviours like diet. People like this wait for the motivation to come. They read lot of stuff and try to feel motivated, they meet lot of people, attend motivational seminars etc, but this actually does not work. What I suggest these clients is that, rather than waiting for the motivation to come, they should take an actions.

There are different types of choice points which a client and a person selects in his life. For example, if I have to go and exercise on a tredmill and I make the choice whether I have to go to the gym or not go to gym, then most probably a client will end up not going to the gym. So, the choice point really matters. At what point, at what locations are you selecting your actions. 

Many times I tell my clients that even if you do not want to exercise that day but the location of the choice should not be the bed but rather the gym or outside of your house. So, go out of the house and then choose whether you want to go for exercise or you do not want to go for exercise or just go and touch the tred mill. So what happens is, ehen a client touch the tredmill then most of the time he ends up doing an exercise.

So, rather than waiting for the motivation to come, take the action and then decide what you want to do. So, we call this type of psychology Motorventional skills and Not Motivational skills.

Motorventional skills is when you take an action and then decide whether you really want to perform that action. By doing this, most of teh clients end up performing the actions.

So, I hope this tip is very intresting and you will try in your life rather than waiting for the motivation to come.

Also, what matters is the location where you are. Select the right location where you are trying to make the decision. Most of the time we completely decide the things at wrong locations.

If you have futher queries, you can contact me through Lybrate.

 

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Personal Statement

Our team includes experienced and caring professionals who share the belief that our care should be comprehensive and courteous - responding fully to your individual needs and preferences....more
Our team includes experienced and caring professionals who share the belief that our care should be comprehensive and courteous - responding fully to your individual needs and preferences.
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Info

Education
Masters In Psychology - Indira Gandhi National Open University - 2014
CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - Albert Ellis Institute India center - 2011
REBT Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy - Albert Ellis Institute India center - 2011
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BArch - Vishweshvriyya Tech University - 2004
Past Experience
Trainer, Life Coach & Therapist at 2006 - 2016 Metamorphosis
Languages spoken
English
Hindi
Marathi
Awards and Recognitions
Train the Trainer - Dale Carnegie Training
Professional Memberships
American Psychological Association (APA)

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Heerapanna Business Centre, Hiranandani GardensMumbai Get Directions
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Frustration - 4 Simple Ways To Overcome it!

Masters In Psychology , CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy , REBT Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, BArch
Psychologist, Thane
Frustration - 4 Simple Ways To Overcome it!

In some cases, frustration can tend to be positive and can give you another perspective or view on things. It can also give you the ability to continue going further until you achieve your objective. However, there are times when you are going in circles and the dissatisfaction makes you frustrated and this frustration can cloud your mind and judgment. To avoid that from happening, there are certain approaches that will help you overcome your frustration:

  1. Be present in the moment: When you are frustrated, you tend to think about a lot of things. This keeps the individual completely occupied with different kinds of thoughts. Even if you try to avoid it or distract yourself, you again start to remember a disappointment from your past. You need to snap out of those thoughts and calm yourself down by centring your brain and thoughts on what is presently going on around you. You can do so in the following ways:
  2. Concentrate on relaxing: Take a seat, close your eyes and simply concentrate on the live events and concentrate on them for one to two minutes. Take quiet and marginally deeper breaths than regular and inhale with your stomach and not the chest. Concentrate on what is around you as of now. The sun sparkling in through your window, the children playing out on the road, the vehicles or the individuals passing by. Take in the details.
  3. Try to be happy with what you have right now: After you have pulled your concentration and thoughts back to where they can be most useful, focus on what is still positive in your life. The easiest and least demanding approach to do so is to centre it on acknowledging what you do have in your life right now. The most unimportant of things at this point can prove to be the most beneficial. For example:
    • A warm home and a rooftop over your head.
    • Water to drink.
    • Getting to eat great food.
    • Access to the internet and other forms of technology that make life easy.
    • Your loved ones.
  4. Focus on what you can do at this moment: With the amount of frustration and anger you might be feeling, it is important for you to concentrate on what you can do at the moment i.e. at present. It might involve figuring out what has been the cause for your frustration and how it can be dealt with right now or what the alternatives for it are.

Then again, you could also take your time to understand that you may have taken a lot of pressure or things have been extreme. Hence, you have to take some time or a couple of days to simply unwind, deal with yourself and maybe calm down a bit.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

4916 people found this helpful

What All Is A Part Of Emotional Abuse In Children?

Masters In Psychology , CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy , REBT Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, BArch
Psychologist, Thane
What All Is A Part Of Emotional Abuse In Children?

Emotional abuse is a lesser known topic that is very important to talk about. Most individuals are oblivious to the fact that such a term even exists. This article is mainly about educating people about what emotional abuse is, how it affects children, thereby, affecting the upcoming generation altogether.

Like physical abuse, emotional abuse too is very real and harmful enough to cause enormous damage to a child’s mental health. So what exactly is emotional abuse?

Any sort of persistent, emotional neglect or emotional maltreatment can become emotional abuse to children and may cause havoc in their emotional development. The world runs at a very fast pace and parents usually are caught up in earning well for the family, raising the children properly and transforming them into respectable adults. This entire process brings about enormous stress and frustration. As such, unknowingly or knowingly, these parents end up emotionally abusing their children. No, that is not the end of it. It is not only the parents who can cause emotional abuse, but also there are numerous other factors to be considered.

So to make the explanation process easier, here are some points that explain what emotional or psychological abuse includes.

  1. Scaring or humiliating a child deliberately and regularly
  2. Isolating or ignoring a child
  3. Telling a child that he/she is worthless, inadequate or unloved
  4. Not providing the children any opportunity to express him/her by deliberately silencing them or making fun of their expression
  5. Age inappropriate or developmentally inappropriate expectations from children. For example, making a child believe that topping the class is necessary and is a shame otherwise.
  6. Overprotecting the child and hindering their exploration and learning
  7. Preventing them from participating in an absolutely normal social interaction. For example, asking girls not to mix with boys and punishing them for doing so.
  8. A child seeing or hearing utter ill-treatment of another child or person
  9. Serious bullying by other children and cyber bullying
  10. Threatening a child and calling names
  11. Making a child perform any sort of act that might be degrading
  12. Exposing a child to distressing interactions like domestic abuse or drug abuse.
  13. Not expressing positive or congratulatory feelings to the child
  14. Not showing any sort of emotional attachment or interactions with the child
  15. Causing physical abuse to the child.
  16. Trying too hard to control the child’s life and not allowing him/her to recognize their individuality.

Yes, there is no such thing as good parenting or bad parenting. However, parents need to know how much any sort of emotional abuse may affect the future development of their child. In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

4787 people found this helpful

Forgetting Things - 7 Ways To Keep Your Memory Sharp At Any Age!

Masters In Psychology , CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy , REBT Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, BArch
Psychologist, Thane
Forgetting Things - 7 Ways To Keep Your Memory Sharp At Any Age!

Memory lapses aren’t exclusive to old-age which is why it is necessary to keep your mind sharp across all ages. The cognitive skill, memory, can be affected by various factors such as lack of sleep, hypertension, substance abuse etc. Here are a few tips which will help you keep your mind sharp:

  1. Take Frequent Breaks: If you work for long hours at a stretch without taking a break, you run a risk of putting excessive strain on your brain which slows down its reflexes. Giving the brain a break once a while is a good idea and during a “brain break”, you could engage in mentally stimulating activities such as playing Sudoku or puzzles.

  2. Repeat To Learn Better: If you want to remember a crucial piece of information, it is advisable that you repeat that particular piece of information more than twice for a more comprehensive understanding. This tip would be even more effective if you read out aloud the information which needs to be remembered for uninterrupted concentration and comprehension.

  3. Learn To Play An Instrument: Learn to play a musical instrument and regularly practice it as music stimulates the cells in your brain. Studies have shown a strong connection between relaxing forms of music such as instrumental or Celtic music and the motor areas of the brain which are linked to the learning and cognitive spaces. This happens because music triggers the “feel good” neurotransmitter in your brain.

  4. Dietary Changes: Incorporate more nutritious items to your diet such as fresh fruits and vegetables as they are rich in fibre and vitamins which keep the brain and body healthy. Adding fish oil or fatty fishes such as salmon and trout is a must because they are rich in Omega-3 acids which help your brain retain information for a longer period.

Over-indulging in junk food can cause your brain to slow down while extreme crash-diets can cause lethargy in the cognitive areas of your brain. Hence, you should aim to balance your meals.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

7652 people found this helpful

Tips to Help You Manage Chronic Depression!

Masters In Psychology , CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy , REBT Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, BArch
Psychologist, Thane
Tips to Help You Manage Chronic Depression!

Are you suffering from extreme depression? Does your depression episode continues for a long time and makes you feel too tired to get out of bed? Chronic depression is capable of turning your life upside down, causing turmoil with all your activities, thereby, spoiling your regular life totally. At times, a person can get so drained by depression that getting out of bed seems impossible because of fatigue. It is quite difficult to deal with such situations.

Here are some important tips on how to overcome your chronic depression and get out of bed.

  1. Be depressed upright: It is likely to be driven by the voices in your head during your depression. You should respond by replying to the voices that you are depressed, but you are going to be depressed outside. This is important, as activity and depression do not go well together. You should try to stop your thinking totally and put yourself in an automatic mode. Preparing to deal with thoughts from before is beneficial. When your body is in motion, it is easier to deal with the thoughts.
  2. Try to make it to the shower: When you do not feel like leaving your bed at all, you should try making it to the shower somehow. Taking a shower makes you a bit relaxed and diverted and you can expect relief from your depressive episode. This is an effective way to get yourself up and running from bed, instead of isolating yourself under the blanket. Taking a shower might bring you some hope and encourage you to step out of bed and do something productive. Even if you decided to be in bed all day strictly, a refreshing shower is likely to change your mind.
  3. Bribe yourself: You can try bribing yourself as a reason for getting out of bed. You can remind yourself how good you will feel after having a cup of hot coffee, or how nice it would feel to listen to a certain song while going to work.

It is important to give yourself a purpose or reason to get out of bed. Many people believe that they might feel like leaving the bed in spite of being heavily depressed, if they had a worthy purpose. It is very important for you to get involved in something. You might hate a job, or hate working, but it will give you a reason to divert from your depressive thoughts.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

4777 people found this helpful

Stress Management - Tips To Manage Stress!

Masters In Psychology , CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy , REBT Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, BArch
Psychologist, Thane
Stress Management - Tips To Manage Stress!

What is stress?

There are situations in life when a person is required to perform beyond his/her normal capacity, or situations when some expectations are not met. This creates anxiety, fear and anger. This is a situation where a person feels inadequate, under-confident and experiences loss of control. This affects a person's physical and mental wellbeing. This feeling of fear, anxiety, restlessness is commonly known as "tension or stress".

Symptoms of Stress :

  1. Anger and Aggression: While under stress a person starts doubting his/her own capacity and efficiency because he/she feels inadequate or incapable of performing certain tasks. This creates a lot of anger or frustration and sometime, may result into aggressive behaviour. 
  2. Irritability: Under stress people get irritated for no reason. There is loss of patience, loss of sense of humour.
  3. Sleep Disorders: A person under stress may not be able to sleep at all or in some cases sleep excessively.
  4. Eating Disorders: A person under stress may lose appetite or in some cases, tend to overeat resulting in harmful effects on body.
  5. Anxiety: Stress may cause a lot of anxiety and restlessness. The person under stress may not to able to concentrate and unable to focus on any activity, making things more complicated.
  6. Depression: In a few cases a person under a lot of stress may go into depression.
  7. High BP: Body and mind are closely connected. Hence stress in mind creates stress in the body and under stress, blood pressure may rise.
  8. High Sugar Level: Stress may increase the blood sugar levels.
  9. Headache or Unexplained Body Pains: Stress may cause headache or body aches in different parts of the body, without any physical reason for it. 

Sometimes, there may not be any symptoms for stress but the trauma manifests in the form to heart attack, Stroke etc.

What causes stress ?

  1. Relationship Issues - Conflicts in relationships is a major cause of stress.
  2. Life style - Working for long hours, sedentary life style, unhealthy food habits, along with insatiable urge for money causes a lot of stress.
  3. High expectations from oneself and from others - The peer pressure, the pressure of constant deadlines builds up a huge stress. When a person has very high expectations from himself/herself without corresponding efforts, there is a fear of failure which causes lot of tension. At the same time, having unrealistic expectations from others also is a definite reason for disappointments, resulting in stress.
  4. Physical and Emotional Abuse - When a person is physically or emotionally abused and unable to defend himself/herself for various reasons, it causes frustration. This results in anger and stress.
  5. Competition - Unhealthy competitions with others create a feeling of inadequency and result in lower self esteem and sadness, thereby causing stress.
  6. Health Issues - Chronic and serious health issues cause lot of tension.
  7. Suppressed Emotions - Lack of freedom to express own emotions and feelings, amounts to stress.
  8. Lack of Assertiveness - Inability to say "No", when wanting to say so, inability to fight for one's own rights, causes tension and anger.
  9. Boredom - Lack of creative/interesting occupation may cause stress especially in old people or people with physical disabilities.
  10. Low self esteem, feeling hopeless and helpless - If a person has low self esteem and does not value oneself, it causes lots of negativity and stress.

Why stress management is important?
Body and mind affect each other's functioning. When the mind is stressed out, it gets reflected in the body in the form of high blood pressure, high sugar levels, indigestion, acidity, heartburn, ulcers, skin rashes, headache, nausea, cancer, eating disorders, psychosomatic pains etc. It may trigger asthma, migraine etc.

Because of these harmful effects of stress, the body's capacity to function reduces. At times, it may cause serious threat to one's life. Hence, it is very important to learn to relieve and also to manage stress, in order to have a long and healthy life.

There are a number of ways to relieve stress:

  1. Sleep, take rest, relax.
  2. Take a break from daily routine, do something different, take a short vacation.
  3. Go for a walk/jog/run/cycling. Practice Yoga, meditation, deep muscle relaxation, etc.
  4. Spend time with friends and family.
  5. Play with children.
  6. Spend time with pets.
  7. Pursue a hobby like reading, gardening, painting, music, dance, singing, cooking, etc.
  8. Recreation - Watch a movie, play, picnic, go for a drive or shopping.
  9. Pamper yourself with beauty treatments, massage, or your favourite food/drinks. 

How to manage Stress?
Stress is inevitable part of life now. Right from a kid going to Pre-Nursery school to senior citizens staying alone at homes and having severe health problems; all are under lot of stress. No one can avoid stress. But there are certain ways to manage your stress-

  1. Self-awareness. Learn more about your own self. Understand what induces stress in you, what tasks are difficult for you, what situations are difficult for you and then try to figure out the reasons why it is so. Try to resolve or modify your thoughts and attitude.
  2. Identify stressors and explore options. Once you identify what is causing your stress, try to find more options to resolve your issues.
  3. Reasonable Expectations and Feasible Goals. Have reasonable expectations from yourself and from others. Have goals which are possible for you to achieve.
  4. Learn assertive techniques. Learn to express your feelings, learn to fight for your own rights, understand and respect other's rights.

Try to minimise stress in life and lead a happy healthy life. In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

4573 people found this helpful

Depression - 4 Simple & Effective Ways You Can Manage It!

Masters In Psychology , CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy , REBT Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, BArch
Psychologist, Thane
Depression - 4 Simple & Effective Ways You Can Manage It!

Depression is a psychological condition, which can develop in men and women of any age. No one can identify the cause of depression. It can be excessive stress, failure in relationships, academic pressure and various other issues of these sorts. But depression in itself is a serious condition and needs to be treated as soon as possible, lest it aggravates.

Before trying to deal with depression through medicines and counselling, it is important to recognise the signs and symptoms of this condition and try as much as possible to come out of it on your own. There are certain natural remedies, which work during the initial stages of depression. It is only when these fail or it aggravates that the patient must be rushed for immediate counselling. Here are certain natural ways of treating depression.

  1. Sleep well: A sign that you are suffering from depression is lack of sleep. One does not get sleep no matter how hard he/she tries. Even after having sleeping pills, one does not get the correct amount of sleep that he/she requires. This triggers insomnia, thereby causing other health problems to develop. Thus, sleeping is mandatory. If needed, you must force yourself to sleep.
  2. Eat well: It is often said and seen that depression leads you to binge eat or over eat. Overeating would include indulging yourself to too much chips, chocolates, junk food and the like. This would unnecessarily make you gain extra pounds and can trigger obesity. Alternately, it has been seen that the patient lacks the desire to eat anything. This too can lead to adverse effects as the body balance gets disturbed.
  3. Exercise: Regular exercise helps in diverting your mind to something else for a little while. It also helps in keeping you fit and healthy. In case you do not like to exercise, you can opt for jogging or running or even simply taking a walk out in the open. Going out and inhaling fresh air, makes you focus on positive thoughts for a while. A daily dose of positive thoughts can do wonders for you.
  4. Experiment with yourself: Try something new each day that you have not tried ever before. This might include cooking, knitting, riding a bike and the likes. This keeps you busy and keeps your mind off the negative thoughts. What’s more, you might discover some of your hidden talents.

These are some of the natural remedies that you can opt for to fight depression before consulting a psychologist for the same.

4556 people found this helpful

Ways You Can Handle Conflicts In Your Marriage!

Masters In Psychology , CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy , REBT Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, BArch
Psychologist, Thane
Ways You Can Handle Conflicts In Your Marriage!

Whether you’ve had a love marriage or an arranged marriage, it is impossible for two people to live together without experiencing a conflict of opinions at some point or the other. After all, each of us has our own unique personalities, habits and idiosyncrasies. Thus the key to a successful marriage is not finding ways to avoid conflicts, but discovering how to deal with them. Here are a few tips that could help you build a stronger relationship with your spouse.

Communicate with Your Partner

Nobody except you can ever know what you’re feeling unless you share it with them. Many conflicts begin when one partner expects the other to be able to read their mind. If something is bothering you, don’t express yourself rudely, but sit the other person down and explain what and how you are feeling. Listening to what your partner has to say is equally important. Keep an open mind and try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.

1. Be respectful: Feeling hurt is no excuse to start abusing or blaming the other person. Understand that if you begin an argument by shouting at your partner, he or she will turn defensive and not be able to completely understand what you are trying to say. Belittling a person can also shift focus away from the actual problem. Respect your partner and do not start an argument in front of other people or put him or her down in company.

2. Pick the right time: Never start an argument when you or your spouse are stressed or tired. In such a frame of mind, it is easier to get irritated with the other person than understand their views. When you are trying to resolve a conflict, the problem and your spouse should have your complete attention. Hence, don’t try and multitask by cooking or catching up with work while resolving a conflict. This applies even if you are talking to your spouse over the telephone.

3. Take time out: Tempers often flare when talking about a sore point. However, be aware that getting angry or agitated will not solve anything. The moment you find yourself or your partner feeling too upset or negative, take a time out from the situation. Tell your partner that you need some time and walk away quietly. You can resume your conversation when you are both feeling calmer. However, do not use this time out as an excuse to avoid resolving the issue. In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

4307 people found this helpful

How Does Therapy Work?

Masters In Psychology , CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy , REBT Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, BArch
Psychologist, Thane
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 Hello,

My name is Guruprasad Shivakumar. I’m a counselling psychologist and I am an expert in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and acceptance commitment therapy. And today I am going to talk about how therapy works. A lot of time clients ask me that how does therapy work, and when do we need to talk therapy and all that. So, along with me you also do this small exercise you know, imagine that in front of you there is a wall, on that wall imagine that all the things are there that you want in your life. All the people, all the great things you want to achieve, or all the thing that you want to do. Also imagine that there all the different steps of struggle that you go through in life, that too are present on that wall, where there is a lot of pain, a lot of things that you are trying to resist or avoid things, or the people who you don’t want to meet, even they are actually present. It is basically this world’s representation of our life. Also imagine that on this wall itself there are lots of other issues you deal like the conflict with your son, the maid not coming on the day, your health problems, your cold cases, the new GST bills, all that is also on that wall. And also there are things that you want to do on regular bases like cooking, meeting people, staying with your baby, driving, and maybe paying taxes. Now, let’s imagine that your hands are your thoughts and follow me when I am actually doing this exercise. Now let imagine that my, my hands are my thoughts, and your hands are your thoughts and these thoughts are actually coming, and you know, trying to suppress all those things you can see on the wall. The good things, the bad things, the good feelings, the bad feelings, everything that is there on the wall, all the thing that you want to do in life or you perform daily, the routine and everything. That all which is there on the wall you know, now in your thoughts and feelings are actually coming and hitting on your face somewhere. You are not able to see that. You actually do this, like you know, just put those hands on your face. Now let’s see what happens when you get hooked with thoughts. You know, when you have on your face, now you are hooked with your thoughts and feelings you are not able to get out of them and they are so defused in what you want to do that even if you are trying to, trying really hard, you are not able to figure out what exactly has to be done.

Now when you have covered your eyes with these hands and you are not able to see a lot of stuff. Firstly, see how much you are missing out right now. How disconnected and engaged you are because of this action. You are disengaged from the people that matter, the things you want to do, the things that you want to perform. If the person you love the most is right in front of you, you are still disengaged because if you want to get connected, you are completely disconnected, because of your thoughts and feelings. Secondly, also notice how difficult it is to focus your attention on the things you need to do. If there is an important task you need to do right now, how difficult it is to do it. If there is a problem that needs attention right now, it would be the most difficult thing to tackle with all this kind of thoughts and feelings that are fusing you and not able to make you perform these actions. Thirdly, notice how difficult it is to take action because bot your hands are engaged in you to know, trying to avoid the things you don’t want to see, or you don’t want to experience certain kind of feelings, or you are trying to resist certain kind of thoughts.so this definitely doesn’t let you take actions. Small actions that make your life better, small work, the small routine that you want to do every day.

So, as you are already experiencing the darkness, you know, you are not able to see, you are not able to perform a couple of actions that are required on a day to day bases like you know, looking out for your baby, doing small things, stuffing your routine, driving, or going from one place to another, or just being with your spouse, to cook a dinner, to be with you baby, or just to drive, so all that is becoming much more difficult to take an action. Now, slowly remove your hands from your face, and see what happens when you are unhooked from your thoughts. The moment you are unhooked from your thoughts. Thoughts are there, you are not resisting them, you can still see them, you know, and we have not just chopped or not just cut it off, they are still there with us, but now we are okay with the thoughts. You know we are, we know how to manage this thought and that’s what therapy is. What therapy does is in action it teaches and enables you to manage your thoughts and feelings in a different way. It doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change your thoughts, you know, it doesn’t make you think, it doesn’t change your circumstances, but it definitely changes the way you are managing the things right now. You know, the managing the thoughts and feeling right now. It just makes things more accessible. It puts on those thoughts somewhere on maybe like on a table and you are free to do a lot of other things. You see even really painful thoughts and memories are that kind of information also has some amount of importance in our life. Maybe it just tells us how to do things differently. Simply reminding us that you know, how we can be much kinder to others and to self, and if there is nothing we can do with these thoughts, useful with these thoughts, just let them sit there and be there, rather than trying to fuse them with your day to day working. Usually, Psychotherapy helps you and supports you in managing these thoughts differently, memories differently, the way you handle things are different. If you have any further queries, you can contact me through Lybrate.

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Eating Disorders and Obesity - What To Know About It?

Masters In Psychology , CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy , REBT Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, BArch
Psychologist, Thane
Eating Disorders and Obesity - What To Know About It?

The prevalence of childhood obesity has increased dramatically over the past few decades, and obesity during adolescence is associated with significant medical morbidity during adulthood. Eating disorders and obesity are usually seen as very different problems but actually share many similarities. Eating disorders (EDs) are the third most common chronic condition in adolescents, after obesity and asthma.

In fact, eating disorders, obesity, and other weight-related disorders may overlap as girls move from one problem, such as unhealthy dieting, to another, such as obesity. Understand the links between eating disorders and obesity and promote healthy attitudes and behaviors related to weight and eating.

What is an Eating Disorder?

Eating Disorders describe illnesses that are characterized by irregular eating habits and severe distress or concern about body weight or shape. Eating disturbances may include inadequate or excessive food intake which can ultimately damage an individual’s well-being. The most common forms of eating disorders include Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, and Binge Eating Disorder and affect both females and males.

Signs & Symptoms of an Eating Disorder:

A man or woman suffering from an eating disorder may reveal several signs and symptoms, some which are:

  1. Chronic dieting despite being hazardously underweight
  2. Constant weight fluctuations
  3. Obsession with calories and fat contents of food
  4. Engaging in ritualistic eating patterns, such as cutting food into tiny pieces, eating alone, and/or hiding food
  5. Continued fixation with food, recipes, or cooking; the individual may cook intricate meals for others but refrain from partaking
  6. Depression or lethargic stage
  7. Avoidance of social functions, family and friends. May become isolated and withdrawn
  8. Switching between periods of overeating and fasting

What are the health risks associated with these disorders?

  1. Stunted growth.
  2. Delayed menstruation.
  3. Damage to vital organs such as the heart and brain.
  4. Nutritional deficiencies, including starvation.
  5. Cardiac arrest.
  6. Emotional problems such as depression and anxiety.

What is Obesity?

Obesity means being overweight by the accumulation of excess fat within the body. Obesity is defined to some extent by measuring Body Mass Index (BMI). People become obese by consumption of excess calories, imbalance between calories intake and calories outgoing, leading a sedentary life, lack of sleep , disturbances in lipid metabolism and intake of medications that put on obese.

What are the risks associated with obesity?

Obesity increases the risk for:

  1. High blood pressure.
  2. Stroke.
  3. Cardiovascular disease.
  4. Gallbladder disease.
  5. Diabetes.
  6. Respiratory problems.
  7. Arthritis.
  8. Cancer.
  9. Emotional problems such as depression and anxiety.

How eating disorder and obesity are related?

Eating disorders and obesity are part of a range of weight-related problems.

  1. Body dissatisfaction and unhealthy dieting practices are linked to the development of eating disorders, obesity, and other problems.
  2. Binge eating is common among people with eating disorders and people who are obese.
  3. Depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders are associated with both eating disorders and obesity.
  4. The environment may contribute to both eating disorders and obesity.

Healp Adolescents Develop Healthy Eating Habits:

  • Healp children learn to control their own eating.
  • Offer children a variety of healthy foods at meal and snack times.
  • Eat dinner together as a family most days of the week.
  • Be aware of your child's emotional health.
  • Encourage children to participate in sports, dance, swimming and other physical activities.
  • Counteract harmful media messages about body image. 

The Splendid Approach:

The approach should be quite simple. A proper diet plan, nutritious foods and fruits with proper exercise can do a world of good to you.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

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Know More About Motivation

Masters In Psychology , CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy , REBT Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, BArch
Psychologist, Thane
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Hi, I am Mr. Guruprasad and I am a counselling Psychologist. I am an experitise in cognitive behavioural therapy and acceptance commitment therapy and this is what I practice.

So here I am going to talk something about Motivation. A lot of time we wait that something has to motivate us so that we can take an action. But the science and research shows completely different things. We have certain things in our mind that some conditions have to be met so that we do or perform certain actions. A lot of people are waiting that they should get motivated for certain things and only then they are going to take certain actions. But this is not true. THis is not how motivation works. Motivation works on completely different levels. You need to take certain actions first so that you can be motivated. So, rather than waiting for some motivation to take, take an action earlier and automatically motivation will follow.
Many times the client suffer with the exercises or the way they are doing in life for certain types of health behaviours like diet. People like this wait for the motivation to come. They read lot of stuff and try to feel motivated, they meet lot of people, attend motivational seminars etc, but this actually does not work. What I suggest these clients is that, rather than waiting for the motivation to come, they should take an actions.

There are different types of choice points which a client and a person selects in his life. For example, if I have to go and exercise on a tredmill and I make the choice whether I have to go to the gym or not go to gym, then most probably a client will end up not going to the gym. So, the choice point really matters. At what point, at what locations are you selecting your actions. 

Many times I tell my clients that even if you do not want to exercise that day but the location of the choice should not be the bed but rather the gym or outside of your house. So, go out of the house and then choose whether you want to go for exercise or you do not want to go for exercise or just go and touch the tred mill. So what happens is, ehen a client touch the tredmill then most of the time he ends up doing an exercise.

So, rather than waiting for the motivation to come, take the action and then decide what you want to do. So, we call this type of psychology Motorventional skills and Not Motivational skills.

Motorventional skills is when you take an action and then decide whether you really want to perform that action. By doing this, most of teh clients end up performing the actions.

So, I hope this tip is very intresting and you will try in your life rather than waiting for the motivation to come.

Also, what matters is the location where you are. Select the right location where you are trying to make the decision. Most of the time we completely decide the things at wrong locations.

If you have futher queries, you can contact me through Lybrate.

 

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