Hi m 20 years old medical college girl. A guy 19 years old proposes me he was so nice and caring to me and my family bt after some time people come to me and said he is flirting with other girls also I love him so much but I can't tolerate this so I simply broke up saying my father will not accept us I didn't tell him the reason coz I don't wanna have fight with him. But still I love him and angry with him now I can't trust other boys also but may be that was all rumours about him. M confused abd hurt even I can not concentrate on studies also. please suggest me what should I do.

Dr. Dolly AnadkatPsychologist10yrs exp

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I am sure you must be feeling lot of emotional turmoil sue to this unfortunate situation in your life. I would suggest you to go slow. You are young and intelligent young woman. First of all I will suggest you to bring your focus back on your studies. In order for you to do that regular meditation will surely help. You would be easily able to download some online. Practice this on a daily basis. Start doing some kind of physical exercise to turn around the thought pattern which is life taking. Here are few tips and insight that will help you refocus on what is important in your life. A very good new is that our mind cold be wired to switch back to positive things and resilience building. When things does not happen as we wish or people do not behave as we expect that is when out of disappointment, frustration, loneliness, anger, sadness. Etc we react and our mind starts thinking negative thoughts. Changing this pattern of responding to stressful situation requires both persistence and patience. Also you will only be able to work on this out of love and kindness towards you. Strong motivation will go a long way. Writing a statement about how would you want to respond in a similar situation and how will your life and your happiness will change if you do learn to manage your stress and how to respond to it. Once that is clear. Try following things to learn relaxation response which leads to better coping mechanism on a daily basis. To begin with doing guided progressive muscular relaxation before sleeping will help you relax. You could google and download an audio file. I would also suggest you to take a multiple small break to take 3 nice and deep breath while keeping your eyes closed. You could do this while sitting or standing or while even walking or climbing stairs (keep your eyes open in that case). When you take a nice and deep break there is actual physiological change in your body. This will help you to activate parasympathetic nervous system which promotes relaxation and helps you calm down and think more clearly. This will also actually improve your performance in your work. Along with this exercise is one of the best way to relive stress and stay fit. Engage in any kind of physical activity at least 4 times a week. This also helps in stress reduction. Along with this some relaxation exercises as well as engaging in joyful activities such as music, singing, dancing, reading, being in nature, gardening, talking with friends or anything which you enjoy will help reducing stress and rejuvenation of your mind and body. Have good routine for sleep and eating. Lot of research has now proven that sugar is very harmful for our health. Reduce sugar and refined white floor in your diet as much as you could. Along with this also increase consumption of raw vegetables in the form of salad in both the meals of your day. 

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