I am 21 years old girl but mjhe bht gussa ata h or bht chichidapan rhta h na m kisi se ache se baat krti hu na hi kuch kaam na padai m man lg rha h mera or na hi kisi cheej m M in love with someone and I love him more than my life but he cheats me or uski wjh se m hmesha udas rhti mjh uski itni adat ho gai h ki m usse baat kre bina nhrh skti na dekhe bina but khudko kosti hu that why I loved him M bus apni normal life jina chahti gussa chidchidapan khtam krna chahti usey chodkr apni life pe focus krna chahti hu what can I do please help me.

Dr. Dolly AnadkatPsychologist10yrs exp

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Lybrate-user, first of all I must say that I am glad that you are aware about what your exact problem is and you are willing to take action to make it right. I am sure that you know that all problems that you have discredit about your anger, irritation and lack of motivation to do anything etc are because of your heart is broken. This stressful situation is casing all negative emotions in your life. It is wise to end your relationship with someone you can't trust. You are young and I am sure you have leant your lesson. You will find someone more appropriate for you only of you let go of this relationship. It is difficult to do so and you will need help. Building your resilience is a way to go about this situation. Chronic stress is a byproduct of our busy life style these days, which at times leads to feeling of burnout and depression. Building your resilience will help you manage your stress and help in depression. Try following things to learn relaxation response which leads to better coping mechanism on a daily basis. To begin with doing guided progressive muscular relaxation before sleeping will help you relax. You could google and download an audio file. I would also suggest you to take a multiple small break to take 3 nice and deep breath while keeping your eyes closed. You could do this while sitting or standing or while even walking or climbing stairs (keep your eyes open in that case). When you take a nice and deep break there is actual physiological change in your body. This will help you to activate parasympathetic nervous system which promotes relaxation and helps you calm down and think more clearly. This will also actually improve your performance in your work. Along with this exercise is one of the best way to relive stress and stay fit. Engage in any kind of physical activity at least 4 times a week. This also helps in stress reduction. Along with this some relaxation exercises as well as engaging in joyful activities such as music, singing, dancing, reading, being in nature, gardening, talking with friends or anything which you enjoy will help reducing stress and rejuvenation of your mind and body. Have good routine for sleep and eating. Lot of research has now proven that sugar is very harmful for our health. Reduce sugar and refined white floor in your diet as much as you could. Along with this also increase consumption of raw vegetables in the form of salad in both the meals of your day. As a psychologist and trained life and wellness coach I will be able to help and guide you systematically if you feel you are stuck and not able to maintain your motivation for change. In that case feel free to contact me again. Hope this helps. Wishing you very best. 

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