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Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:
1. Lack of stimulation
Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.
Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.
3. Differences between men and women
Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.
4. Performance issues
Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.
5. Mental blocks
A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Sexologist.
Many men have sexual problems which prevent them from deriving pleasure from sexual activities. They become more common as men age. These problems are generally caused by physical or psychological issues like certain medical conditions, alcoholism, drug abuse, stress, anxiety etc. The most common ones among them are:
1. Erectile Dysfunction - Erectile dysfunction or impotence involves not being able to achieve or maintain enough of an erection to have proper sex. This is usually caused by tension about work, finances, family, relationship or even excessive worrying about not getting an erection.
The penis needs good blood flow to sustain an erection during sex. Erectile dysfunction can also be the first sign of significant cardiac or vascular disease.
Selective drugs like Staxyn, Stendra, Levitra, Cialis, Viagra etc. are generally used to treat erectile dysfunction in men. Another treatment is psychotherapy, which might help in exploring problems in the relationship or by relaxation techniques.
2. Peyronie's Disease - Peyronie's disease causes narrowing or curvature of the penis. If it is severe enough, this condition can be painful and prevent you from having sex.
Penis deformation can be caused by scar tissue, possibly because of a previous injury, that appears as a hard lump on the upper side of the penis more frequently. Many times, pain during erection is not felt after 12 to 24 months, although the penis curvature usually remains.
3. Ejaculatory Disorders - Premature ejaculation is the most common type of ejaculatory dysfunction. It occurs within two minutes of the start of sexual stimulation. There are good chances that most men might experience this at some point of their life.
There are currently few treatments for premature ejaculation. Antidepressant medication is usually the best option. Topical anaesthetics applied to the penis can also delay ejaculation by reducing sexual sensation. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
The inability to conceive for a prolonged duration after trying to do so is usually termed as infertility. This is usually diagnosed when a couple is unable to conceive even after trying regularly, without any kind of contraceptives. There may be many causes and factors for this and it may occur in either or both partners. So, you all need to know the causes and treatment of infertility.
- Age: Age is a major factor that can lead to infertility for either partner. Usually, the trend now is to delay having a baby until a woman is in her thirties or even forties, in some cases. This has an adverse effect, particularly on the age of the maternal egg which may or may not be effective as far as fertilisation goes. With the advancement of age, one loses the guarantee of genetic normalcy of the egg as well.
- Disorders in ovulation in females: Ovulation is an essential function that helps in releasing the egg that needs to be fertilised when it comes together with the sperm at the time of ovulation. This usually occurs at a certain time every month. But disorders like PCOS or Polycystic Ovary Syndrome can lead to an inability on the part of the ovaries to release these eggs. The treatment for this includes medication that will help in maintaining more regular cycles for the release of eggs.
- Male factor causing Infertility: In many cases, it has been seen that anomalies in the semen analysis reveal problems of infertility with males as of low sperm count, low motility of sperm, low quantity of alive and active sperm when it comes to natural conception. In such cases, a sexologist can prescribe you medicines that will increase the semen production for better quantity and quality of the sperm. The doctor can also ask the patient to go through a number of lifestyle changes too includes abstinence from smoking and excessive drinking, as well as the cultivation of a less stressful environment. Hormonal treatment or even surgery may also required to help in some severe cases.
- Endometrial polyps: In such cases, the female partner may develop finger like growths that can protrude in the form of tissue and come out of the uterine layer or the uterus. The removal of these polyps with the help of surgical procedures usually helps in such cases.
In many cases where mediation fails, the patients may have to go through IVF (In Vitro Fertilisation) or other such procedures to conceive a child with artificial methods. One must explore all options and find out the best one in terms of the infertility causes that the couple may be facing. You will also need to ensure that you have a well trained and experienced sexologist doctor who can help you with the process and guide you completely about the cause of problem and prescribe you best treatment to manage infertility at the right point of time.
With changing times the nature and effects of virus and bacteria are also changing and due to this, one of the biggest risks of unprotected sex is catching a sexually transmitted disease or STD. An STD can be contacted by any form of intercourse including oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STDs are serious diseases that should not be ignored and require treatment and medication. Some common STDs are:
- Hepatitis B
- Genital Herpes
- Syphilis and
The only way to protect yourself from an STD is to abstain from unprotected sex and always use a condom. Sometimes STD infections have no symptoms and can remain dormant for years, hence it is essential to get yourself regularly treated for STDs if you have more than one sexual partner.
On the other hand some STDs have visible symptoms such as:
- Skin rash: A rash in the genital area is most often a sign of STDs. This can be in the form of bumps, sores or warts. It may or may not be accompanied by itchiness. A rash caused by a STD usually results in redness and inflammation. Herpes sores may subside within a week or so but just because the rash is gone does not mean the infection has been treated. Hence even if the rash disappears before your doctor's visit, ensure you mention it.
- Painful urination: A burning sensation or pain while urinating is a symptom for a number of STDs. There may also be a change in the colour of urine. Some STDs associated with painful urination as Chlamydia, gonorrhea and trichomoniasis. However, this may also be triggered by kidney stones or a urinary tract infection.
- Painful intercourse: Pain during intercourse is one of the most overlooked symptoms of a sexually transmitted disease. While a little pain may be normal, any sudden increase in pain or new type of pain should not be ignored. This should be kept in mind especially when having intercourse with a new partner or if there is a change in sexual habits. When it comes to men's sexual health, pain at the time of ejaculation can be a symptom of a STD.
- Abnormal discharge: Abnormal discharge from the vagina or penis can be a symptom of a number of infections not all of which are STDs. Strangely coloured and odorous vaginal discharge can be a symptom of yeast infections or a Sexually transmitted disease like trichomoniasis or gonorrhea. Bleeding in between periods can also be a symptom of a STD. Abnormal discharge from the penis can be a sign of Chlamydia, gonorrhea or trichomoniasis. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist and ask a free question.