Dr. Roshita Khare

You may think that it is just a harmless drink or two at the end of the day to help you relax. it's just a few drinks when you get together with friends. or it's just that you need to get rid of the office stress. We all need to catch a break sometimes, which makes our favorite brand of drink our best friend. Trouble starts when 'a drink or two' moves to a level where you can't hold the drink anymore. It affects your ability to think straight and take decisions that you may regret in retrospect. Alcoholism not only has serious health consequences but also can ruin your life and relationships. Don't tread down the path of self destruction, or this is what you'll find

1. Conflict: It is not a coincidence that fights are common when one or both partners are caught up with alcohol abuse. It is said that if there is too much alcohol in your system, it hampers with your ability to make rational decisions. It allows you to become inconsiderate about others, and give more importance your addiction over their requirements. It, to an extent, numbs you to what others feel, and makes you drink even more.
2. Financial loss: Alcohol costs money. And the more you spend to keep up with your addiction, the more money flows out of your monthly household expenses, monthly savings and retirement plans. And this money literally goes down the drain. Like any other addiction, once you start alcohol abuse, you need it everyday. Drinking may go on to impact your ability to hold on to your job as no one will eventually want to hire someone who has alcohol on their breath at 9am during client meetings. Alcohol is a strict restriction in certain professions where you may put other people at risk. At the very best, you'll be left with a warning. At the worst, you'll lose your job and end up with no work and no money to support your addiction.

3. Accident prone: In 2014, 9,967 people died in drunk driving crashes - one every 53 minutes. This may sound only like a statistic to you - until you speak to the families who lost their loved ones or have to see them suffer through loss of limbs or brain function to bear lifelong suffering. And as far as you are concerned, you may end up seeing the wrong end of a prison. Such things have a profound impact on your relationship - many of which fail to last through the ordeal. 

4. Infidelity: You've seen it a thousand times in movies - which actually might get reflected in reality, if you wake up next to someone whose name you don't know. 

5. Infertility: Alcohols and babies don't mix. Too much alcohol intake can stop women from making and keeping a baby. 

6. Divorce: An alcoholic husband or wife is a valid ground of mental trauma applicable in a divorce. 

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

Stress plays a significant role in creating rifts in relationships as it mostly forbids partners from meeting each other’s physical and emotional needs. This reduces intimacy in a relationship and results in an unhappy sex life. In the modern world of continuous work pressure and fast paced lifestyle, stress generally takes away all the energy required to enjoy a fulfilling sex life. Here are some tips, which will prove to be very effective in keeping stress away from your sex life.

1. Don’t make it seem necessary to have sex even if your partner is tired

If you find that stress due to problems at workplace or financial issues is affecting your partner considerably, then respect his/her decision of saying no to sex. Don’t pressurise your partner to get intimate just because you want it. Your patience and understanding nature will increase your partner’s admiration towards you, in turn leading to a more passionate and happier sex life.

2. Try to stay away from performance anxiety

Don’t let performance anxiety take a toll on your sex life. Studies show that being conscious about their performance in bed leads men to lose their erection, which takes all the pleasure away from intimate moments. Instead of being stressed about your sexual performance, focus on your partner’s needs and attend to them for a more pleasurable sex life.

3. Focus on getting rid of other stressful issues from your life

Common tensions of your daily life and everyday issues like the normal household chores, and your duties and responsibilities towards your family often leave you too exhausted to spend time with your partner. Moreover, getting preoccupied with social commitments also minimises the time available for just the two of you.

To prevent these stressful situations from affecting your sex life, try to focus on removing them. For this, you can ask for help from other family members to carry out household chores or diminish your time at social gatherings to be available for each other exclusively. Spending more time in each other’s company will not only brighten your day, but will also give you an enhanced and more intimate relationship. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Psychiatrist.

Men are always concerned about the size of their penis, and in extreme cases, this concern is also a cause of anxiety disorders. When it comes to the connection between sex and penis size, many men believe that bigger is better. But this is not the case. A large penis does not provide men with any edge, in terms of sexual pleasure. Other factors like erectile function and length of sexual intercourse play a more important role in sexual pleasure.
The very limited proof that is available on the relationship between pleasure during sex and penis size comes from research conducted on vaginal orgasm. The two concerned studies reveal that women who opt for deeper vaginal stimulation prefer longer penises. But vaginal orgasms in women are a rarity with most women experiencing clitoral orgasm. The conclusion arrived at in these two studies was that penis size was in no way related to clitoral orgasm.

Moreover, since the clitoral tissue is known to be present below the skin on each side of the vagina, it could be one of the factors that contribute to experiences of vaginal orgasm. In such circumstances, the role that penis size plays over here is one of eliciting pleasure. For the small number of women who are able to achieve their climax from vaginal penetration, studies reveal that penis length is never a deciding factor.
Apart from a boost in confidence, a larger penis doesn't mean better sexual performance.
Fact: In fact, a larger penis can lead to the difficulty between partners during anal and oral sex. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Psychiatrist.

Losing your virginity can be a big experience and can be exciting as well as nerve-wrecking at the same time. Its significance is different for everyone and there are no wrong or right ways to lose your virginity. Making your first time a memorable experience is easy if you know and remember these 4 things:

1. Relax - You might be conscious about your body or nervous about pain or pleasing your partner, but you need not be. It is natural to feel insecure and nervous, but communicating your reservations with your partner will clear the air between both of you, helping you level your expectations and relax. Your first time is about exploring each other's body and pleasuring each other as well as an understanding partner will help you relax and forget your insecurities.

2. It might hurt a bit - If you are a woman, intercourse for the first time might hurt a bit if your vagina is not well lubricated before you have sex. Also, you might feel some pain and/or bleed if your hymen tears, but it will not be excruciating pain. Worrying about the pain is a lot scarier than the actual pain. Some women may not experience any pain at all. However, you should make sure you are well lubricated. Foreplay is a great way to get ready for intercourse and if it is still painful you could use additional lubricants to minimize discomfort and pain.

3. Go slow - If you are a man, help your partner be comfortable by going slow in accordance to their wish. Going too fast may hurt your partner if they are not comfortable and make your first time a traumatic experience. Try to gauge your partner's reactions and proceed in a way pleasurable to both of you. Penetrating too soon might cause you to ejaculate too quickly before your partner has climaxed. Indulge in foreplay so that both of you are ready. If your partner ejaculates too fast or is unable to hold his erection, do not feel rejected or angry, support him and help him get aroused again, as it is just an effect of nervousness and excitement.

4. Use protection - There is no truth in the saying that you cannot get an STD on your first time. It is completely possible and the only way to prevent that is to use condoms or not have penetrative sex. Women can get pregnant during unprotected sex and unless you plan to become pregnant, panicking about being pregnant for days after your first time will ruin your first time and peace of mind. Use birth control and/or condoms to prevent unwanted pregnancy after your first time, and both your partner and you will be able to enjoy losing your virginity without any worries. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Sexologist.

As much as we would like to ignore it, domestic abuse is a very common problem. Not every woman has the strength to fight against it and confide in someone. As a friend, it is your duty to look out for them. You don’t have to be an expert in psychology to know the warning signs of domestic violence. Here are 8 such warning signs.

1. She is quiet when he is around: If your friend is normally jovial and suddenly becomes quiet the moment her partner is around, don’t overlook the change. She may be scared of saying something that might upset him and start a fight.
2. She allows herself to be put down: In almost all cases of domestic violence, the woman is made to feel guilty about everything. This becomes habit and she loses her will to fight back. If you notice you’re friend allowing her partner to walk over her and put her down, she may be facing abuse at home.
3. She withdraws from friends and family: Social withdrawal is another major sign of domestic violence. There may be a number of reasons for this; he is too possessive of her, she is injured and scared of letting people see her injuries etc.
4. Unexplained injuries: Making an excuse that walking into a door caused a black eye isn’t only a scene from the movies. If your friend suddenly starts wearing inappropriate clothes such as long sleeved tops in summer, she may be a victim of domestic abuse. Look out for such excuses and injuries.
5. Plans that are frequently cancelled at the last moment: Victims of domestic abuse often make plans, but never keep them. This could be because their partner does not like them going out without them or because she is injured and doesn’t want you to see her injuries.
6. She has casually mentioned violent behavior, but dismissed it lightly: Casually mentioning violent behavior at home could be your friend’s way of trying to tell you that something is wrong. We fear being judged and hence it is sometimes very difficult to speak openly about facing domestic abuse. If you feel a friend is being domestically abused, encourage her to share her problems with you.
7. Her finances and personal choices are not controlled by her: Domestic abuse victims usually have most of their lives controlled by their partners. This includes finances, choice of clothing, social attendance etc.
8. The children seem nervous and frequently upset: Children may not say much, but notice a lot. Even if they are not abused, seeing their mother hurt can affect a child and make them moody, withdrawn and upset. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.

Most mental and emotional health issues are inconspicuous in nature and, therefore, cause more harm than they otherwise should, most people still live with a number of symptoms of depression without even realizing it or do little to address it. When the depressive symptoms last for more than 2 weeks and affect the individual's personal, social or occupational life, it is known as clinical depression or major depression. There is often a delay in opting for the treatment because of the social taboo associated with depression.

Depression makes a person miserable, disappointed, restless or numb for long and tedious timeframes, and is debilitating, particularly when they can't demonstrate their feelings and worries to anybody. It can meddle with their productivity and can become a concern not only in workplaces, but also in social circles.

So here's how to deal with a friend or family member in a depressed state of mind:

1. Be considerate: Do understand that depression doesn't mean" trouble". Melancholy is a condition with an assortment of side effects like exhaustion, confused mind state and rest issues. These are all side effects of melancholy. Crabbiness is an exceptionally basic side effect, which once in a while is encountered by many individuals, and can lead to an expanded sensitivity. Normally, it's difficult to be sympathetic with someone who is behaving grumpily. But you need to make a conscious effort to still see the positive in depressed individuals and lead them to hope.
2. Encourage and support: Try not to shame people for being negative. Dejection changes the world into a scene of pessimism. Discouraged individuals don't just focus on the negatives, but they also disregard the positives.
3. Do validate: Approval can help manage a depressed state, and can wean a friend or family member out of depression. Remember that someone with dejection is not living in the same universe as you. The laws that oversee your universe don't exist in theirs. Depressed individuals require your understanding, your empathy, and your affection, considerably more when they are having a troublesome day, week or month. It is hard, but possible. Discouraged individuals value a positive backing in particular.
4. Never say 'you're too much': When someone with depression is told "you're too much" particularly by somebody near them, it can send them spiralling into blame and nervousness and bitterness. Being encouraging and empowering is likewise useful.
5. Be patient with the treatment process: A certain amount of trial and error in treatment is to be expected, Baer said. But the good news is that doctors can often help people with depression feel better and function better with a combination of medication and talk therapy, he added. With time and treatment, depression can lift. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a psychiatrist.