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While children can light up your life with joy and laughter, sometimes they can appear to be monsters with their temper tantrums and their stubbornness. Stubborn or obstinate children can be very difficult to deal with and could end up disrupting your life as well. However, there are a few techniques that mental health professionals have suggested that can help you deal with your stubborn and obstinate child. These are mentioned here briefly –
Hear Them Out: It’s often the case that children tend to be stubborn or obstinate and start screaming when they think they weren’t heard. This makes them feel helpless and thus forces them to bottle up and then take out their frustration by either not doing what you are telling them to do or doing exactly the opposite of that. The best treatment in this scenario is to hear them out and patiently try to resolve their problems.
Ensure They Follow Your Example: If one or both of the parents are extremely stubborn, then this would translate into a stubborn kid as well. Doctors have said that obstinacy is often in the genes. Also, environmental influence is a big deal for them as well. Ensure that you are flexible enough with your partner and the child picks up on it.
Teaching Kids About Give And Take: This is a very important lesson in life as it teaches kids to choose priorities. If you teach your kid to always give, then it sends a message that putting themselves second is the best option. However, if he or she is always fighting to take first priority, it may lead to too many conflicts later. Thus it is best to teach them that it is okay to fight for what is yours but also let others have their way sometimes. This attitude will help them develop a balanced attitude and lessen their obstinacy.
Give Them The Illusion Of Choice: Children are very malleable when it comes to their minds and you can use this trick to do certain things that make them appear they have some control when they actually may not. For example, if they are unwilling to go to sleep, you can say that you cannot make them sleep, but they have to stay in bed. Your child would then automatically fall asleep after some time due to boredom which would end up serving your purpose.
Use Scolding Or The Parent Card As A Last Resort: If any of the techniques mentioned don’t work, then you can scold or warn your kid with consequences which may result in capitulation. For example, if you child is not willing to come back and study, then try and stop them from whatever they were doing and make them sit with their books. This lets them know that certain areas you will absolutely not compromise on and they will understand the limits better. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Psychiatrist.
A loss of tooth or teeth is one of the biggest dental problems that someone can face. The irony is that people consider loss of teeth to be very insignificant. But in reality loss of teeth can lead to not only cosmetic problems, but also functional problems and an unstable chewing mechanism.
Loss of teeth can lead to many problems. Some of them are:
- Supra eruption of opposing teeth
- Compromised efficiency of chewing
- Adjacent teeth might drift into the space created by missing teeth
- Food tend to accumulate between teeth, which have moved
- Food accumulation also leads to periodontal disease and caries
- A lopsided chewing pattern as there is loss of equilibrium in the mechanism of chewing
- The extracted area might reveal a loss of bone height
- Problems of the temporomandibular joints, like closed bite and TMJ osteoarthritis
- The existing functional teeth might lead to problems due to overload
- There are increased chances of cheek biting due to collapse of the cheek in the missing space, thus leading to functional and cosmetic problems
- The frequency of tongue biting and ulceration might increase in the area of missing teeth or tooth
When missing teeth are replaced, one can easily restore the healthy look of the teeth and also prevent any other dental problems which are due to the missing teeth.
While replacement of the missing teeth it is of utmost importance that the equilibrium is maintained with the distribution of the forces caused by chewing. Care is also taken that the cosmetic outlook is also maintained in the treatment.
Ideally the teeth when extracted or lost should be immediately replaced. This is because the replacement prevents the bone resorption or bone loss in the area and also retains the good bone. But a drawback is that such an immediate replacement might lead to limitation. Immediate treatment is usually done with the help of implants which easily fit in the sockets created by extraction. But even for this an analysis of the bone and gum health is necessary, thus leading to only a few instances for such replacements. Other alternative is that immediate removable dentures can be prepared and these can be replaced once the gums of the area have healed. The time period for this is usually 3 months. If these need to be fixed permanently then a waiting period of 3 months is mandatory for the settling and healing of the gums and bone of the area.
The 3 basic ways of fixing missing teeth are through implants, fixed bridgework (bridges and crowns) and dentures, which can be removed.
A common scene" while you are shopping with your child, he stops in front of a shop and asks for an expensive toy. You try convincing him that he already has many. He refuses to listen, starts crying rolls over on the floor, you try to stop. You yell and shout at him but nothing seems to work. You finally buy the toy for him. Now he is happy!”
Are all kids stubborn?
Most kids are stubborn at times. This is considered normal in the first few years of life. However, if this behavior is persistent, then it calls for evaluation and introspection on part of the parents.
What problems can arise due to their stubborn behavior?
- A pervasive stubborn and adamant attitude in children can lead to the following:
- Increased anxiety and stress in the family
- Child may lag behind in academics
- Child can develop an understanding that through his behavior, he can get his way always
- Will have difficulty adjusting in school and with friends
- May develop a defiant and aggressive attitude
Is punishment an effective method?
Punishment works as a temporary method to stop stubborn behavior. However, it is not recommended always. First it is important for parents to understand reason for kids being stubborn.
What can parents do when child is in the midst of a tantrum?
When the child is in the midst of a tantrum, it is important that parents stay calm and composed. Time out, walking away from the situation, ignoring the child, till he gets out of it is the best solution.
What is a time out?
Time-out is a form of behavioural modification that involves temporarily separating a child from an environment where unacceptable behavior occurred. Time-outs may be on a chair, in a corner, bedroom, or any other location where there are no distractions, and reduced access to fun items, activities and people.
This procedure is preferable to other punishments such as reprimanding, yelling at or spanking the child for their misbehavior.
How much time can I give a time out for?
Time outs must be brief. A rule of thumb for time outs is" one minute per year of age, for example if your child is 5 yrs old, time out given maybe for 5 mins.
What is positive reinforcement?
Positive reinforcement is catching your child doing good and praising/ rewarding him for the same. It is an effective means to improve behavior in children. Set up a target for your child, give him stars on days when he meets set goals and at the end of the week, reward him with something that he wants. This is called behavioral charting and is very effective in kids.
Common parenting tips to be followed:
- Children learn by observing parents. Parents attitude and behavior influences child’s behavior in a major way
- Listen, don’t argue
- Stay calm
- Reinforce positive behavior. Catch your child doing any good and praise him for it. Let him know his good behavior is being noticed and appreciated, it will help to increase this behavior
- Ignore tantrums
- Understand your child’s behavior
- Do not give into his blackmailing
- Spend quality time with your children. Let them know you are available for them
- Be aware of your own emotions and actions
- Respect them
- Ensure your child is engaged and busy. Boredom many times can trigger tantrums
- As parents, understand the difference between needs and wants
Identify the antecedents to their stubborn behavior. Do not scold them or beat them, but be composed when you deal with them. Do not give in to their demands in the midst of a tantrum. Ignoring the tantrum is the best way out.
Most crucial aspect is to ensure that all members of the family agree on the same disciplining method. Convince all at home that being firm with the child when he throws tantrums is in the best interest of the child.
Disclaimer" the information is based on standard medical guidelines and is purely informative. Not to be used for treatment.”