Dr. Subhash Rao

In many cases; divorce and separation leads not only to bad blood between the parents, but also in a child alienating himself from one parent. Insulting or belittling one parent without justification or under pressure from the other parent is known as parental alienation syndrome. Parental alienation involves one parent undermining the other and interfering with the child’s relationship with the other parent by limiting contact with them, bad mouthing them, forbidding discussion about them etc. This can have a very negative effect on the child’s emotional state.

1. Self hatred: For children, hatred is not inborn, but developed by the situations they are in. By bad mouthing a parent and teaching the child to hate the parent, the child himself is harmed. With time, he begins to internalize this hatred and believe that there is something wrong with him that made the alienated parent not want him.

2. Low self esteem: When a child is not allowed to speak his mind and has to bottle up his thoughts, he becomes socially withdrawn. Often the child begins to feel that he is the cause for the rift in the family and makes himself responsible for the separation. This intensifies with time and makes the child lose confidence in himself leading to low self esteem.

3. Lack of trust: When a child is suddenly pulled away from one parent and told how that parent is not a ‘good person’ the child is likely to feel betrayed. This creates a sense of doubt in the child’s mind and makes it difficult for him to trust other people. As he grows up, this can affect his own adult relationships as well.

4. Depression: Depression is a commonly seen in children from broken homes and this is intensified in cases of parental alienation. It is rooted in the child’s feeling unloved by either one of the parents and built up by the separation. Not being given a chance to speak about their feelings or talk about the situation makes them more depressed and they begin to withdraw into themselves. In many cases, it is noted that alienated children have strained relationships with their own children as well.

5. Substance abuse: Depression is one of the most common triggers for substance abuse. Alienated children often feels trapped and that they have no outlet to vent their feelings and frustrations. This often makes them turn towards drugs for relief and can make them victims of substance abuse.

When it comes to babies and their sleeping habits, you have to understand that every baby is different and has different needs. Thus, certain things that may work for one set of parents may not necessarily work for the other. Thus, here are a few tips that will ensure that your child gets ample of undisturbed sleep and stays healthy and fit: 

1. Learn to distinguish when your baby starts feeling tired: Once your child starts feeling tired, he/she will definitely show specific signs that he/she requires some sleep. Some common signs  are:
a) The constant eye rubbing 
b) Yawning
c)  Getting a bit fussy and cranky 

Put your baby to sleep as soon as possible when he/she starts showing such signs. If your baby gets overtired, it will be all the more difficult for him to fall asleep. 

2. Set a proper sleep cycle: Ensure that you set a suitable sleep cycle for your baby. Train your child to sleep during the night and play during the day. Ensure that you keep your kid busy during the day, ensuring that he/she stays awake even after a feed, so that he is tired by night time and sleeps properly all throughout the night. At night, when your child gets up for a feed, ensure that you do not turn on the lights. Instead, make sure to keep the room in semi-darkness so he/she goes back to sleep effectively. 

3. Ensure that your baby is full: If your baby is hungry and has not had his fill, it will tend to disrupt his sleep. Thus, ensure that your baby is well fed before you put him to sleep. For example, if during the day you feed the child after every three hours, as evening approaches feed him every two hours. This will ensure that he is well fed before he goes to sleep.

4. Let go the burping occasionally: Babies do not avidly breastfeed at night. Thus, it is not essential that you wait for him to burp every time he feeds.  

5. Give a Massage: Another way to ensure that your baby sleeps properly is to give him a good massage. A massage will help the child to relax and thus sleep better.