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I'm feeling very depressed because of the people's behavior around me. They are ignoring me and not concentrating to what I'm saying. Basically everyone will enjoy my partnership at the starting of the relationship/friendship but later on they are not giving value to me just because of my strict behavior.
I am 22 year old b. Tech student from Kerala. I am suffering from severe headache when I concentrate on something. Why problem happens? Is there any issue with this?
My wife always sad. She is afraid of a bad financial future. I am retiring by june. Whatever consolation I give, she did not recover. She is 46.
Life has its ups and downs, but often we hold on to the downs for much longer than the actual event. While the trigger or anger, pain and hurt are beyond our control, the amount it can affect us is well within reach. Here are a few ways to cope better with emotional upsets.
- Give yourself a window to be upset: Be realistic and give yourself a time frame to give in to your emotions. Whether, angry, sad or frustrated tell yourself that you have only 1 day to be upset. In a way, this will diffuse the anger, frustration and once this time is over, you can start planning ahead.
- Take responsibility: Try analysing what you may have done to make the other person react in the way he or she did. Focus on what you could have done better and you will find yourself feeling more empowered.
- Get physical: Exercise and other forms of physical activity decrease stress hormones and increases the productions of endorphins or happy hormones that elevate the mind. Exercising also gives you time to focus on yourself without distractions.
- Express yourself: Whether it’s through art or writing, find an outlet for your emotions. This keeps it from being bottled up inside and gets the pain and frustration out of your system.
- Breathe: Breathing techniques like ujayii and anulom vilom can help calm the mind down when it is troubled and upset. These breathing techniques also keep your emotions from escalating.
- Get company: It is never a good idea to isolate yourself when you’re feeling blue. Instead, find people who you can open up to and share your thoughts with. This will give you a fresh perspective on what is going on.
- Look at both sides: No event is ever completely bad. No matter what may be troubling you look at both the good and bad sides of it. This can help minimise your loss and make it easier to let go of the problem.
- Do something different: The best way to get your mind off something is to give it something else to focus on. If you’re troubled by something that happened at work, go for a drive or play a sport. Similarly, if you’re having relationship trouble, go out with a few friends or read a book to take your mind off it.
- Visualize: Imagine the person or the event that is upsetting you as an object in your mind and visualise it melting away. Remind yourself that the anger or frustration you are feeling is worse than the person or event itself.
- Clean up: Organise your desk, your room or start cleaning up space around you. This will take attention away from whatever is troubling you and give you something to do. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a doctor and ask a free question.