Dr. Hetal Gosalia

With an upsurge in the technology, it has touched almost all aspects of our lives including our relationships. Today, technology has changed the way we interact with each other, no doubt it also helps us by removing the geographical boundries and help us stay close to our loved ones, at least virtually if not physically. One such act of virtual closeness is sexting.

What is sexting?

Sexting is  a mix of ‘sex’ and ‘texting’, that is when you are sending and receiving texts, images and videos, which are explicit in nature. This may include the following:

1. Nude pictures
2. Sexual pictures
3. Explicit texts and images

Sexting can be exchanged if you share the following kinds of relationship:

• Between two partners in love with each other
• Between partners who are not in relationship
• Between two person where one of them hopes to be in a relationship

What are the reasons for stexting?
There are various reasons why you might want to sext. Such as:

• Anxiety about being portrayed as a shy, rigid and not sexy person
• A constant feeling to showcase one’s sexuality
• Wanting someone’s acceptance
• Being in a romantic and faithful relationship
• Being in a long distance relationship and wanting to have sexual relationship
• Pride in one’s body and wanting to show it off

Why sexting is good for you?
Most of us has done or have had the thought of sending kinky dirty texts or images to his/her partner. These steamy texts and images have proved to improve relationship and increase sexual satisfaction. Now over 80% people are of the opinion that one of the ways to bring about a spark in a relationship is through sexting. While other ways might be scarier, sexting is a much safer way to get indulged for some sexual pleasure if the contents are not shared on social media sites and kept only with the significant other. However, trust is essential while sexting. You obviously do not want to get engaged in sexting with a person you have talked or met once or twice where there is hardly any element of trust. Generally, if two people are sexting with each other, it is implied they share a particular amount of trust.

What are the risks involved in sexting?
While sexting is a good idea to spice things up, it can also be dangerous and can pose some serious consequences. Once the images, texts or videos get into wrong hands, it can take a serious toll on your health, mentally and physically. Few people might only engage in it for bullying others. Sexting can collide with reputation of a person and not just socially, but digitally as well. Sexting can also lead you behind the bars so extreme caution is recommended.

Non-penetrative sex refers to the sexual intercourse in which the individuals do not perform penetration into any of the body organs like anus, mouth or vagina. Therefore, it is devoid of performing sexual penetration. Rather, the other different forms of sexual and asexual activities are performed such as kissing each other, cuddling each other, mutual masturbation, etc. Non-penetrative sex is also called as the outer course which may include aspects of penetration but not in literal terms such as fingering.

Let us discuss some of the important facts that one must know about non-penetrative sex which is mentioned as below:

1. Most people practice the non-penetrative sexual activity for various reasons such as indulging in foreplay or primary sexual activity which leads to higher arousal state. Also, some couple engages in the outer course in order to maintain their virginity and as a birth control preventive measure. Those who are homosexuals also do it to maintain their virginity and the gay males utilize this option for substitution of anal sex.
2. The penetrative sexual activities involve the risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease or infections (STDs or STIs) and it can be transmitted through the genital contact or contact of genitals with the body. But the non-penetrative sex can be a safer option as the body sexual fluids would not come in contact with each other’s body parts and hence, the risk of getting genital infections are reduced to a considerable extent.
3. Let us discuss some types of non-penetrative sexual activities such as:
   • Frottage which refers to the rubbing of any body part including buttocks of each other, breasts in case of females, thighs, sexual organs with other people, etc. It can be performed both in a naked condition or when a person is covered with clothes. This is also referred to as dry sex.
   • Mutual masturbation refers to the process by which the individuals stimulate the genitals of each other by giving a handjob in case of males and fingering in case of females. Some people also use feet for stimulation of genitals.
   • There are some other exclusively non-penetrative activities such as axillary intercourse, massaging in an erotic way, giving a foot job, kissing each other especially French kissing which is a more profound form of kissing and leads to stimulation of genital organs, stimulating the nipples of females, etc.

The non-penetrative sexual activities can be performed due to multiple reasons depending on the individuals’ needs and desires. Also, it is a simple and matured way of avoiding pregnancy. 

Precaution - Semen dropped near and ouside vagina can lead to Pregnancy. In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

Pregnancy, especially the first one, is a very anxious phase in a coupe's life. There is the knowledge of leaving your previous life and transition to a new one filled with excitement (and copious amount of poop). Every pregnancy is different. Some women are completely turned off by the thought of having sex while others suddenly have their interests spiked. Here are six things you need to know about sex during pregnancy and after delivery-

1. You won't hurt the baby: As creative as you get thinking of different positions, it is unlikely that sex will harm your unborn child. Although it is a good sign that your maternal instincts are kicking in, this is a simple open and shut case. While you and your partner get on the act, your baby will rest safely in the amniotic sack well protected with layers of cushion in the form of flesh and fluids. The mucous plug in your cervix that puts a cork on the amniotic fluid ensures things remain stable.
2. You won't bump the baby on her head: As much as your partner would like to believe that his penis is long enough bump into the baby during sex, this is not a possibility. No penis is that big or close to being big enough to get close to the baby. Even if your baby is head down resting in your pelvis, it is unlikely he or she will take a hit during sex.
3. Your baby won't watch your act: You have to have sex to make babies. That is one of the most natural and beautiful realities of our lives. It is true that your baby activity may spike a little when your uterus contracts after an orgasm, so that way the baby will know something exciting happened. But it is not possible for the baby to 'know' or 'remember' what happens on the outside.
4. Sex won't result into an STD transmission to your baby: For one, it is best to stick to your partner who you know is free from STD - with or without the baby bump. You'll also feel better knowing that once the baby is inside, your cervix is shut and out of access for anything from semen to other organisms as the mucus plug acts as a super tight cork. But when it comes to STD, it is better you go the safe way for yourself and only proceed if you know your partner is clean for sure.
5. You'll have some extra fun with new maneuvers: With a baby bump in between, the usual missionary position becomes uncomfortable for many women. Try new and fun ways to keep your partner happy
6. Sex will feel better or worse: Sex will make you feel better or worse depending on how comfortable you are. It is always great to get that lovin feeling with your partner but if you don't want to go all the way, you can start with a hug and end with a kiss too.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

Sex education in Indian schools has always been a subject of controversy. In India, sex education is only a part of the curriculum and the implementation is still a distant thought. Not many schools in India understand the importance of sex education and still consider it as a taboo. It is important that people break this mental block and talk about the importance of sex education in today’s world.

Why is sex education important?
The kids in their teens can be highly unpredictable, they love to experiment and take the risk which makes them more vulnerable to making mistakes. Sex education can help them in developing a sense of responsibility and also expose the youngsters to their body images, intimacy, sexual expression, gender identity, marriage relationship and family responsibility. This, in turn, will help them make an informed decision later in life.

Why is sex education in India considered a sensitive problem?
Our nation is a coalesce of different cultures, languages, religions, food and several such factors. The sheer diversity of Indian culture that is spread across the geographical extent of the nation is itself a threat of its own. And as the topic is quite sensitive, every single geographical boundary should take sincere steps for improving the value system.

Contrary to popular misconception, sex education is not really limited to sex or birth control. In fact, it is the most crucial education to be imparted to an individual who is entering into his or her teens. It is important to address the potential confusion that is bound to be related to the psychological and physiological alterations which start setting in during the adolescent years.

Tips to impart sex education to youngsters:

1. It should be made mandatory in both Government and Private schools and cover all aspects of sex education.
2. The study material should deal with risky behaviors among teens that includes physical abuse, sexual abuse leading to early and unwanted pregnancies, forced sex and indulgence in pornography.
3. The curriculum should cover unethical aspects of such risky behavior.
4. The education will provide necessary knowledge of methods of contraception and how they are important.
5. A huge section of the population in India fall below the poverty line and do not have access to schools. In such cases, alternative methods of education such as health camps and film screenings can help.
6. Proper sex education can help them understand the importance of personal hygiene which is a great cause of concern in India.
7. Teachers and parents should take the responsibility of educating the youngsters about the different aspects of sex as proper information is the best way to put their inquisitive thoughts to rest.
8. Prejudice and biases prevent one from understanding the importance of sex education. Every youth must undertake this venture as a responsibility and not just as curriculum.

Sex education is a critical but sensitive aspect of education where the content of this type of curriculum requires to take into account the various cultural, regional and religious sentiment within the framework of the law and constitution. Sex education is taken as a serious subject in many countries and it is important for our country as well to take steps in improving the perception of this taboo subject. In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

Marriage is the union of not only two individuals but the coming together of their families and friends. Couples, be it an arranged marriage or a love marriage, have a number of things to consider and agree upon for their relationship to be successful. Although they talk about everything under the sun from children to house to finances, one subject that rarely receives much consideration is sex. Even if both partners have had sex with other people in the past and are sexually active in their current relationship, they shy away from discussing it with each other in most cases.

In recent times, many couples have opted to discuss the sexual aspect of their impending marriage with a sex counselor. The concept of pre-marital sexual counseling is at a nascent stage and is frowned and looked down upon by society as a whole. But it is almost imperative to not only educate couples about sex but also to make them aware of their and their partner’s sexual needs and preferences. The most important aspect of sexual counseling is effective communication resulting in sexual harmony. It also gives couples certain clarity as to what to expect 20 or 30 years down the line when both partners may have decreased libido.

Reasons why you should go for pre-marital sexual counseling:

1. Misconceptions and Fears- There are many myths regarding sex such as masturbation is wrong or sexual penetration is painful. Sex education is not provided in schools and the lack of it creates a gap between knowledge and misinformation. Couples, especially women who will be engaging in sex for the first time, should not feel scared about the activity. Sex counseling can do away with all such misconceptions and clear the way for a satisfying sexual experience.
2. Awareness- Often couples fail to communicate properly about their desires and fantasies surrounding sex. Therefore, talking in front of a sex counselor may help a couple discuss everything about sex ranging from sexual frequency to compatibility. You can have an open dialogue with your partner regarding sex and also talk about your likes and dislikes concerning foreplay, orgasm and other key parts of sexual intercourse.
3. Pregnancy Planning- Women often get confused when it comes to their menstrual cycle and pregnancy. This confusion might result in unprotected sex. It's important to know the nitty-gritty of your ovulation and the functions of contraceptives to plan your pregnancy in a manner so that you are prepared physically, emotionally, mentally and financially. A sex counselor is able to enlighten couples about this part as well.
4. Information about STDs- Many couples do not have the basic understanding of HIV/AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). They also do not know how to use a condom properly, thereby resulting in unanticipated and unwanted circumstances. In such cases, pre-marriage counseling helps a couple gain knowledge about the same.

If you are getting married, then you and your partner should go for pre-marital counseling to create a solid foundation for your sacred union.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

Vaginismus is a condition characterized by significant pain in the vagina generally during sexual intercourses. This pain occurs on penetration due to the contraction of the vaginal muscles.

Causes-

The exact causes of Vaginismus are not exactly known to the doctors. But some researchers suggest that the pain might result from severe anxiety or illogical fears before sex. The pain is also sometimes due to hymen tearing which results in excessive blood flow.

Vaginismus can be primary or secondary depending on the concerned woman’s previous sexual experiences. Vaginismus can be linked to an earlier sexually painful experience, sexual trauma or psychological factors. In some cases, the pain tends to exist without any direct physical cause.

The causes of the pain might vary from women to women and might occur in some cases with only one specific partner and not with others.

Sometimes the pain might stem from underlying infections or any other underlying complications.

Symptoms-

The symptoms of Vaginismus are as follows:

1. Severe pain during intercourse.

2. Severe pain during insertion of tampons or during any medical check-ups.

Treatment-

The following treatments can be useful to treat Vaginismus:

1. If the pain arises due to anxiety or fear, counseling sessions can help you to a remedy.

2. If the pain arises whenever something penetrates the vaginal walls, progressive desensitization can be useful to treat the pain. The process aims to loosen the vaginal muscles so that you don’t experience any pain during sexual intercourse.

3. Kegel exercises (at least 20 of them) can help in the initial stage to relax the vaginal muscles. After you exercise for a few days, you should try inserting one finger into your vagina while doing the exercises. Try doing it gently and if it still hurts, try doing it with a lubricating jelly. This continuous procedure will help in the contraction of the vaginal muscles which eventually relax.

4. Mind gaming treatment can also be tried that is, imagine a penis sliding down your vagina and you are contracting and relaxing your vaginal muscles around it. 

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!