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In our study of the females of urban area, the following were the comments made by them when asked as to why they felt lack of sexual interest for their partners:
Deteriorated sexual self-esteem
Women expressed lower feeling of attractiveness and change in the body image. Such feelings overshadowed their sexual self-steam. “…I’m not happy with my body. I have sagging breasts and flabby stomach bulging out after child birth which made me very ugly ... I don’t feel attractive at all (24 y/o, teacher).
Some participants had experienced being reproached by their spouse and believed that this behavior had reduced their self-confidence. “…He permanently finds faults in my body. He blames my loose vagina, my passivity in sex and…; my self-confidence in sex has been reduced” (44y/o, teacher).
The spouse’s infidelity was also expressed by some women. “I have noticed his relationships for some years. He has not approached me for several months” (45 y/o, govt officer).
Deteriorated feminine position
Sexual desirability was mentioned by some participants. “When I was sexually active, I had more energy and motivation. I felt merriment and lively but I don’t, now.” (36 y/o, PhD).
Feeling as an incompetent woman was very challenging for the women who took part in this research.“Meeting the sexual need of the spouse is the duty of his wife. He wants me to be like other eager women, but I have no interest in sex. I do not act in a feminine manner” (42 y/o, Master of Science).
Being rejected by the spouse was also stated by some women. “He says that he doesn’t want me anymore. When I remember his words, I go mad. I have even cried during intercourse several times” (33 y/o, diploma).
Struggle in sexual issues
Concern about losing the relationship and spouse
Accepting sex to maintain the spouse was mentioned by women. “He also needs sex. Either I have to accept it or he may have desire for other women” (40 y/o, bachelor).
Many of housewife women talked about financial support: “When I need money, I accept the relationship, even an anal intercourse” (30 y/o, diploma).
Concern about continued sexual reluctance was worrying in some women. “If my lack of desire continues, I may see his sexual frigidity and our intimate relationship will collapse… I will get miserable” (24y/o, diploma).
Surrendering to sexual relationship
Half of the women expressed their pretension to be interested in sex and their role playing: “I pretend I am interested in sex, but he knows that I’m not behaving like the past”. I role-play in sex to satisfy my husband’s sexual needs.” (24 y/o, diploma).
Deterioration of the couple’s relationship
Deteriorated marital interactions
Less emotional interactions with the spouse was stated by some women. “I’ve been avoiding him and I don’t get intimate with him” (39 y/o, associate degree).
Women believed that change in the spouse’s behavior reduced his attractiveness. “… If my husband demands sex and I refuse it, he will get grumpy and will find an excuse to begin an argument” (31 y/o, associate degree).
Reduced affection expressed by the spouse was also mentioned “...he doesn’t care about me anymore. If I go to my mom’s house from morning to evening, he even doesn’t call to see how I am doing”. (30y/o, diploma).
Sexual disharmony between the couple
Lack of sexual talk with the spouse was observed among the majority of participations.
“I haven’t talked about my problem with him. We do not talk about sexual issues together” (30 y/o, diploma).
Sexual avoidance of the woman was stated by participants. “When my husband demands sex, I say I’m busy or sleepy…” (24 y/o, diploma).
More than half of women referred to sexual coercion by their spouses. “Sometimes, I have to accept sex. It is very difficult to tolerate it. I feel offended and choked with anger” (31 y/o, bachelor).
Anal and oral sex were considered as annoying or unusual sexual demands by the spouse “anal sex according to Islam, it should be avoided ... I also don’t like oral sex. I feel women are insulted to do so. I feel sick when I talk about it” (22 y/o, diploma).
The clitoris may be the most pivotal structure for female sexual pleasure. While its significance has been reported for hundreds of years, no complete anatomical description was available until recently. Most of the components of the clitoris are buried under the skin and connective tissues of the vulva. It comprises an external glans and hood, and an internal body, root, crura, and bulbs; its overall size is 9-11 cm.
Clitoral somatic innervation is via the dorsal nerve of the clitoris, a branch of the pudendal nerve, while other neuronal networks within the structure are complex. The clitoris is the center for orgasmic response and is embryologically homologous to the male penis. While the source of vaginal eroticism might or might not be exclusively clitoral stimulation, it is necessary to understand the intricate anatomy of the organ to assess the data in this regard. Ultimately, sexual enjoyment entails a balance of physical and emotional factors and should be encouraged.
Most women report that clitoral stimulation is an integral aspect of their orgasm experience. we conducted a study on Eighty-eight women 18 to 53 years old who answered detailed questions about their usual and recent orgasm experiences, sexual history, depression, and anxiety. Then, they viewed a series of sexual films.Most women (64%) reported that clitoral and vaginal stimulation contributed to their usual method of reaching orgasm. Women who reported primarily stimulating their clitoris to reach orgasm reported higher trait sexual drive and higher sexual arousal to visual sexual stimulation and were better able to increase their sexual arousal to visual sexual stimulation when instructed than women who reported orgasms primarily from vaginal sources. Thus, watching porn or sex video call will help a woman get orgasm more by clitoral stimulation than vaginal insertion.
Very few studies have investigated the relationship between women's ability to experience an orgasm during vaginal intercourse and specific stimulation techniques. We examined two common techniques during vaginal intercourse both with and without simultaneous external clitoral stimulation:
(1) body movement, in particular back-and-forth swinging movements of the pelvis and trunk; and
(2) precise rubbing of the clitoris with an immobilized body. Structural equation modeling was used to compare the effects of the two stimulation techniques on women's orgasm frequency (N = 1,239).
As hypothesized, the frequency of orgasm during vaginal intercourse with simultaneous clitoral stimulation was positively associated with a preference for body movement during arousal. Body movement, as opposed to body immobilization, was also associated with a higher frequency of orgasm during vaginal intercourse without simultaneous clitoral stimulation. We conclude that body movement is associated with more orgasms during vaginal intercourse, whereas precise rubbing of the clitoris with an immobilized body is not associated with more orgasms. Teaching women to move their pelvis and trunk in a swinging back-and-forth movement during vaginal intercourse might therefore facilitate reaching an orgasm, whereas encouraging them to self-stimulate the clitoris might be less helpful if done with an immobilized body.
Sex is more than a physical release, it is a way to intimately connect with another human. But sometimes distractions can interfere with your ability to connect with your partner. Maybe it's work, school, or kids that dominate your time. Whatever your distraction is, sex is often the thing that gets kicked to the curb in your relationship. You don't have to let life get in the way of having the sex that you want to have, though. Keeping your sex life fresh and exciting is easy if you communicate and make an effort as partners to spice things up and have fun with each other in the bedroom (and elsewhere).
Explore your own body. To feel comfortable and intimate with a partner, feel comfortable and intimate with yourself. This includes being connected to your body and your feelings. Feel free to experience and express the way you feel. Learn how you like to be touched, what turns you on, and how your body reacts to different stimulus. You can explore your body with your partner, too.
- Using a vibrator can help a woman explore her own sexual responses, and can show her partner what she enjoys.
Relax before sex. Use some relaxation techniques before becoming intimate with your partner. This will help take the focus off of performance. Strive to enjoy every moment of the experience. Take some deep breaths and consciously relax tight muscles.
- Relax with your partner. Take deep breaths together and enter into a relaxed physical and emotional space.
- If you struggle with performance anxiety, check out How to Deal with Sexual Performance Anxiety.
Concentrate on foreplay. Sometimes sex can start to feel scripted, like you're moving quickly from A to B to C. Slow down and focus on sensuality before diving into sex. Foreplay is about exciting both partners equally.
- Trade massages before you have sex, and spend a particular length of time exploring each other's bodies before you're allowed to move on. Make the touching part of sex as long and luxurious as possible. Put on soft music and make an evening of it. Take your time.
- Focus on pleasuring your partner and giving excitement. Then, revel in pleasure when it’s returned to you.
- Many women benefit most from clitoral stimulation during foreplay.
Take your time. Don’t approach sex as something to do and then get done. Slow down and enjoy every aspect of sex. Experience the pleasure of being touched, and return the touch to your partner. Enjoy touching and being touched. Engage in non-sexual touching before moving onto sexual touch. Enjoy the feeling of your partner’s body and take it slow.
- Practice sensate focus. This exercise helps build trust and intimacy over a gradual period of time (20–40 minutes), and helps relieve performance anxiety. Taking turns, engage in increasing touch with your partner. First start with non-sexual touch to your partner, touching the torso, arms, legs. Then include increasing sexual touch, around the breasts/nipples and groin area, but not touching genitals. Finally, engage in more sexual touch, including genital touch or light stimulation. You can choose to engage in sex afterward.
Be spontaneous. One of the most common ways a sex life can become mundane is that it becomes a routine. Maybe you only ever have sex in the mornings, or on particular days when you get a break from work, school, or kids. Spice things up by having sex at unexpected times, in unexpected ways, or in unexpected places. Further, don’t be afraid to masturbate; masturbation can be a healthy part of a relationship.
Explore your kinky side. If introducing toys and costumes into the bedroom seems exciting and fun for both of you, go for it. Be as kinky as you want to be. As long as your relationship puts honesty and communication first, there's no wrong way to have sex.
- Add to the fantasy with role-playing. You both could dress up in costumes and call each other by different names.
- Blindfolds are easy ways to make sex suddenly touch-focused and different. If you're into it, go the sensory-deprivation route.
- Some couples in long term relationships like to relive the early stages of their dating, when they couldn't get enough of one another. Plan to meet separately at a bar you used to frequent and pretend like you don't know each other. Go through all the motions of the first blind date, and pretend you don't know anything about the other's sexual likes. Go from there.
Sexual Dysfunction has become a topic of stress these days in lives of people suffering from it. It is a problem that occurs during any phase of sexual response cycle that prevents individual or couple from experiencing satisfaction from the sexual activity.
Most common types of sexual dysfunctions occurring in males include erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation (early discharge), decreased libido, small penis and infertility. And in case of females, infertility, sexual pain disorders, absent orgasm and decreased libido are the common sexual dysfunctions. The imbalance between the neurological, vascular and tissue compartments that lead to arterial dilation and muscle relaxation takes place in cases of erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.
Erectile Dysfunction is a symptom and not a disease. Premature ejaculation is when ejaculation occurs prior to or within a minute of vaginal penetration. In case of decreased libido, there is the absence of sexual thoughts and desires. Size of penis has also become an epidemic syndrome these days. Various potential factors are related to this problem. Some facts about penile size are, size varies from individual to individual, the flow of blood into the region leads to erection and there is no bone in it.
Twisting of penis during erection can cause damage to penis. In case of female sexual pain disorders, the common causes are hormonal imbalances, overexertion, substance abuse, relationship issues, diabetes, spinal cord injury and depression. Most common types of sexual pain disorders in females are vaginismus (involuntary contraction of vaginal musculature, resulting in failure of penetration), dyspareunia (persistent genital pain before, during or after sexual activity). Infertility in females means inability to become pregnant. Infertility does not mean that you cannot have children, but you may require treatment to achieve a pregnancy.