Solutions that can save a relationship. Communication all relationship problems stem from poor communication, you can't communicate while you're checking your blackberry, watching tv, or flipping through the sports section" sex even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually, lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having sex is one of the last things you should give up" sex" brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy" problem-solving strategies: plan, plan, plan. Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. Problem-solving strategies: be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is unrealistic. Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you. Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other's tendencies. Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, policies, debts, and investments to the table. Don't blame. Construct a joint budget that includes savings. Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills. Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion. Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's ok to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too. Talk about caring for your parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs if needed.
Struggles over home chores most partners work outside the home and often at more than one job. So it's important to fairly divide the labor at home. Problem-solving strategies: be organized and clear about your respective jobs in the home" write all the jobs down and agree on who does what" be fair so no resentment builds. Be open to other solutions, she says if you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. You can be creative and take preferences into account -- as long as it feels fair to both of you. Not making your relationship a priority if you want to keep your love life going, making your relationship a focal point should not end when you say" I do" relationships lose their luster. So make yours a priority. Problem-solving strategies: do the things you used to do when you first met. Show appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other. Schedule time together on the calendar, say" thank you" appreciate" it lets your partner know that they matter. Conflict occasional conflict is a part of life. The same lousy situations keep repeating day after day -- it's time to break free of this toxic routine. When you make the effort, you can lessen the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues. Problem-solving strategies: you and your partner can learn to argue in a more civil, helpful manner. Make these strategies part of who you are in this relationship. Realize you are not a victim. It is your choice whether you react and how you react. Be honest with yourself. When you're in the midst of an argument, are your comments geared toward resolving the conflict, or are you looking for payback? if your comments are blaming and hurtful, it's best to take a deep breath and change your strategy. Change it up. If you continue to respond in the way that's brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument. Give a little; get a lot. Apologize when you're wrong. Sure it's tough, but just try it and watch something wonderful happen" you can't control anyone else's behavior" the only one in your charge is you" trust trust is a key part of a relationship. Do you see certain things that cause you not to trust your partner? or do you have unresolved issues that prevent you from trusting others? problem-solving strategies:
be consistent. Be on time. Do what you say yent. Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your partner is feeling. Call when you say you will. Call to say you'll be home late. Carry your fair share of the workload. Don't overreact when things go wrong. Never say things you can't take back. Don't dig up old wounds. Respect your partner's boundaries. Don? t be jealous. Be a good listener. Even though there are always going to be problems in a relationship you both can do things to minimize marriage problems, if not avoid them altogether. First, be realistic. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a hollywood fantasy" ask for what you need directly" next, use humor -- learn to let things go and enjoy one another more. Finally, be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. Don't think that things would be better with someone else. Unless you address problems, the same lack of skills that get in the way now will still be there and still cause problems no matter what relationship you're in. Good luck.