Dr. Sanju Jain

A couple of decades ago, medical professionals believed that a lot of females could not climax at all. There are a number of reasons for this. It is easy for the male to know when he has achieved an orgasm, which usually happens with ejaculation, which is quite evident. For the females, on the other hand, it is not so evident. It is a perceived feeling and while the media showcase it in a particular way, reality is far moved from it.

There are various reasons why it is very difficult to pin this down. Orgasms are not just an elusive feeling for the woman, it is an elusive topic for the medical professionals too. Read on to know some of the common causes (more beliefs or notions) about this and some simple but effective ways of managing this.

• Private topic: Girls are very shy as compared to boys and both their exposure to sex education and discussion about this is limited compared to boys. We might tend to think of it as common in India alone, but this is true across a vast number of countries. We are not alone! This shyness continues into their later years too, and unless transformed by the partner, it may continue to be a topic that is shunned.
• Purpose: Sex is more deemed as a form of procreation rather than for sex. Therefore, while sex is necessary for conception, orgasm is not. This is one more reason (strange but true) that orgasm is very elusive for a woman.
• Psychological factors: It could be guilt from past relationships or fear of past abuse. It could be fear of losing control or fear of coming across as vulnerable. For any of these reasons, women can have difficulties climaxing during the act.

In men, the causes are more defined and physical in nature and include erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, retrograde ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation. Whatever the cause of the problem, the first step in coping up with the issue is to acknowledge the issue. Being a private topic, this is not something that is going to draw the person towards medical help. However, this needs to be discussed frankly with the partner or with the doctor. Getting the partner involved removes a lot of psychological barriers (guilt, fear, anxiety, etc.) This would result in natural ironing out of issues, improving the performance of both the people involved.

If that does not happen, seeking professional help, be it medical help to correct physical issues or counselling, is the next suggestion. A frank discussion will do wonders, and what was once elusive can be well within your reach.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

Pregnancy brings with it not only joy and celebrations, but also a lot of physical pain for the mother. This is not unexpected as the body has gone through a lot of transformation to nurture the baby within for almost 9 months and then finally deliver the baby. Whether it is a natural delivery or cesarean section, the immediate period after childbirth has a lot of pain to manage. Let us look at some of the major pains and ways to manage them - broadly categorized into abdominal and breastfeeding pain.

Abdominal pain. In the abdominal area, there are different areas that experience pain due to different reasons and need to be managed well.

Incision pain: If you had a cesarean section, then the incisions will itch and pain. Pain killers can be used for relief but the incisions will take some months to completely become normal. If there are associated symptoms like redness or bleeding, then it is a cause for concern.

Uterine contractions: With the uterus shrinking back to its original size after delivery, there are lot of contractions which can be painful. This will subside over the next few days but can be severe and take longer for second and third deliveries. This should be completely gone by the sixth week checkup.

Vaginal or perineal pain: If you have had normal delivery, then there would be an enormous amount of pressure in the vaginal and perineal (area between the vagina and anus) areas. There could even be tear in some cases (created by the doctor or accidental during birth) and would need repair. This can be more severe compared to other pains and will take longer to disappear. There could also be dryness in some women. The following will help ease the pain:

1. Ease the pressure on the bottom by lying down as much as possible and resting
2. Apply a cold gel pad to the area
3. Warm baths
4. Pelvic floor exercise which help healing by improving blood flow
5. Use warm water to wash the area and pat dry to reduce the itching sensation
6. Keep the area clean to avoid infection both to yourself and the baby
7. opical creams may be used in some areas to relieve both the pain and the itching

Breastfeeding pain: An improper latch (the way the infant sucks) can lead to breastfeeding pain. A lactation consultant or a nurse can help train the mother and the infant. Breasts filled up with milk can also lead to painful, engorged feeling. Breast pumping or hand pumping can help relieve the pain.

These pains, though not deniable, can be managed with a little extra care so you can enjoy the newfound joy of motherhood.