Bharasa Clinic

Physical abuse is easy to recognize, but emotional abuse in a relationship can be more insidious, often going undetected by family members, friends and even victims themselves.

Emotional abuse, which is used to gain power and control in a relationship, may take a number of forms, including but not limited to: insulting, criticizing, threatening, gaslighting, ridiculing, shaming, intimidating, swearing, name-calling, stonewalling, lying, belittling and ignoring. 

The scars of emotional abuse may not be visible to the eye, but the effect it has on the victim can be traumatic. Those who have been emotionally abused may later experience anxiety, depression, chronic pain, PTSD and substance abuse issues. 

1. You walk on eggshells to avoid disappointing your partner.

“You’re second-guessing and self-editing, which means you’ve internalized the subtly abusive behavior so that your partner doesn’t have to do it overtly.

2. Your partner uses gaslighting to maintain the upper hand in the relationship.

Your partner declares reality for you, denying or distorting how things really are, in order to shore up a perception that supports how they see things. Common ways that this can show up is being told, ‘You’re not remembering correctly,’ ‘I never said that’ or ‘I never did that.’ They might infer that you’re not making sense or you’re faulty in the way you’re looking at things when you’re not. Because these responses can instill self-doubt over time, you’re more likely to go along with your partner’s distortions. In time, self-doubt creates a loss of trust in your perception and judgment, making you all the more vulnerable to a partner who wants to control you.

3. Your partner requires constant check-ins and wants to know where you are and who you are with at all times.

Wanting an ongoing account of another person’s whereabouts, in addition to [a person] limiting where their partner goes or who they spend time with, are powerful examples of emotional abuse

4. Your partner says hurtful things about you disguised as “jokes.”

Then when you complain, they claim they were only joking and you’re too sensitive. There is truth to the saying that behind every mean or sarcastic remark is a grain of truth.

“Emotionally abused people often come to believe that they are stupid, inconsiderate or selfish because they have been accused of these things so often by their partner

6. Your partner is hot and cold. 

Your partner is loving one moment and distant and unavailable the next. No matter how hard you try to figure out why, you can’t. They deny being withdrawn, and you start panicking, trying hard to get back into their good graces. Absent an explanation for why they’re turned off, you start blaming yourself.

7. Your partner refuses to acknowledge your strengths and belittles your accomplishments. 

 The ways your partner reacts to your accomplishments or positive feelings about something can be telling. Does he show little interest or ignore you? Does he find something about what you’re saying to belittle? Does he change the topic to one that’s shaming in some way to you or criticize you about what you’re not doing? Over time, confronted with hurtful responses, your sense of confidence and trust in your own competence can slowly diminish

8. Your partner withholds affection, sex or money to punish you.

Any relationship that has ‘strings attached’ is inherently problematic. The process of withholding affection or emotional or financial support is not always understood as abusive.

9. You’ve lost sexual desire for your partner. 

“This is especially true for women, who generally need to feel trusting and intimate with their partner in order to become physically and emotionally aroused. 

10. You feel sorry for your partner, even though they hurt you.

“Emotional abusers are master manipulators, and they are able to screw you over while at the same time making you feel that it’s either your fault, or at the very least, something they couldn’t help because of their childhood or a past relationship, how hurt they are over something you said or did or even nothing at all ― you just feel sorry for them. 

11. Your partner is always changing plans in order to “surprise” you — or so they say.  Of course, surprise isn’t the motive; controlling you is, without ever making a demand. Alas, you’re so flattered by his caring that you utterly miss the point. In time, it becomes a pattern and your own wants and needs will fall by the wayside.

If you resonate with this or know of any one suffering emotional Abuse. Please seek help from mental health professional. Consult for same

With the amount of time and energy that we invest in a relationship, it is always difficult to see it come to an end. But as the adage goes, life must go on, and so it is important to move on. Once you break up a relationship, take a while to look back at the good memories and important lessons of the relationship and get over it. In most cases, the fault is with neither person – it is just the compatibility between the two individuals which probably was just not good enough. Therefore, though there could be the usual blame-games, it is best to agree that it is time to move on and go about it.

Some of the ways to get over a breakup are listed below-

What works for one person may not work for another. It also depends on how mature a person is and how much they were into the relationship.

1. Stay away: With a bad breakup, it is not possible to stay friends, at least immediately after the breakup. Give it some time, and maybe later you can look at it. But, soon after the breakup, get out and away from your ex. Good or bad, memories will haunt you and never allow you to move on.
2. Clean up: Your room and office space could be holding a lot of memories from your relationship – be it pictures or gifts. Clear these off and see your mind unclutter. These things will keep triggering your memory and reminding you of the various aspects of the relationship
3. Get busy: With a bad breakup, the best remedy is to get busy. This ensures you do not keep thinking about the relationship and divert your energy and attention elsewhere. Get into that music class which you always planned to. Join a salsa dance class or begin exercising. Whatever it is, keep yourself busy.
4. Be happy: Find out what makes you happy (other than the partner you just broke up with) and indulge yourself. For a while, it is okay to indulge in your favourite foods too.
5. Console yourself: Tell yourself that you deserve better and you will get back to life in a far, better manner. Find things that make you happy and go about it. There are people who even take a break-up holiday to overcome the pains of a bad breakup.
6. Chide the partner: This may sound childish, but pick on their bad habits and look at them in an exaggerated fashion. It will help you understand what you got away from, for instance, a short-tempered person.

Give it a few days, and then… move on!!!

What Is Adjustment Disorder
Adjustment disorders are considered to be a group of conditions which usually occur when a person experiences difficulty in coping with the stressful life events. These usually include relationship issues, job issues or the demise of a loved one. The incapacity to adjust to stressful events leads to psychological and sometimes physical symptoms. 

Symptoms of Adjustment Disorder
The psychological and physical symptoms linked with adjustment disorder occur either during or instantly after a stressful event. The disorder only lasts for 6 months but the symptoms might continue if the stressor has not been removed. The symptoms might vary from person to person.

• The psychological symptoms are anxiety, crying, impulsivity, lack of concentration, low or loss of self esteem, feeling hopeless, sad or trapped, and withdrawn attitude along with suicidal tendencies.
• These physical symptoms can include trembling, twitching of the muscles, soreness, body pain, insomnia, indigestion and fatigue.
• Adjustment disorder might display psychological and physical symptoms separately or together.

Types of Adjustment Disorder

There are 6 adjustment disorders and each one of them is associated with different symptoms:
1)  Adjustment disorder with depressed mood: People diagnosed with this suffer from feelings of hopelessness and sadness and are often related with crying. Also, a person might not enjoy the activities which he earlier enjoyed.
2)  Adjustment disorder with anxiety: Symptoms of this are anxiety along with being anxious, overwhelmed, and worried. People with this show less concentration and poor memory. When diagnosed in children it is usually due to the separation anxiety from loved ones and parents.
3)  Adjustment disorder with mixed anxiety and depressed mood: In this both anxiety and depression is experienced.
4)  Adjustment disorder with disturbance of conduct: The symptoms of this disorder are more of the involvement of the behavioral issues like starting a quarrel, reckless driving, destructing property and stealing. Teens suffering from this might become absent from school.
5)  Adjustment disorder with mixed disturbance of emotions and conduct: The symptoms of anxiety, depression, and behavioral issues are observed.
6)   Adjustment disorder unspecified: The people who are diagnosed with this type of disorder usually display symptoms those are not associated with other disorders. They exhibit more of physical symptoms and problems with family and friends or at school and workplace.

Treatment of Adjustment Disorder:
If diagnosed with an adjustment disorder, a person can definitely benefit from treatment. This is usually treated with therapy or medicines or a combination of both.
-  Therapy is the first choice. A  clinical psychologist with professional training in providing psychotherapy/counseling to adjustment disorders and other psychiatric conditions can be helpful.
-  Medication like nonbenzodiazepine anxiolytic, SSRI or SNRI and benzodiazepines might be prescribed for reducing the symptoms of anxiety.

Schizophrenia has been recognized as a mental disorder that combines symptoms like hallucinations with distorted thinking and others like fright and severe paranoia. This condition is one that gets progressively worse over time and leads to delusional thinking. Oversleeping and complaining of fatigue are usually the earliest signs of this condition's onset. Eventually, it becomes a debilitating factor in the life of the patient, who will not be able to function in a normal way due to the severe symptoms.

Read on to know more about the types and causes of this condition:

1. Genetic Causes: Schizophrenia may be caused due to genetic factors and it may be a learned or inherited disorder. It is known to affect patients who have a parent or a sibling who may have suffered from this condition. Yet, one must also remember that Schizophrenia can only be influenced by genetics, and not determined by the same.
2. Environmental Causes: When there has been an exposure to a viral infection during the pre natal stage, the patient is susceptible to this condition. Also, it may affect children who have been subject to the loss of a parent or separation at an early age. Physical and emotional abuse in one's childhood may also bring on this condition. Low level of oxygen at the time of birth is one of the causes of this condition in many patients.
3. Anomalies in Brain Structure: When the brain ventricles of the patient are enlarged, he or she may be prone to this condition. Also, anomalies in the temporal lobes and amygdala have links with the onset of this condition.
4. Types: A wide variety of mental and medical conditions can manifest with psychotic symptoms that must be considered in the differential diagnosis of schizophreniform disorder. These include psychotic disorder due to another medical condition or its treatment; delirium or major neurocognitive disorder; substance/medication-induced psychotic disorder or delirium; depressive or bipolar disorder with psychotic features; schizoaffective disorder; other specified or unspecified bipolar and related disorder; depressive or bipolar disorder with catatonic features; schizophrenia; brief psychotic disorder; delusional disorder; other specified or unspecified schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorder; schizotypal, schizoid, or paranoid personality disorders; autism spectrum disorder; disorders presenting in childhood with disorganized speech; attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder; obsessive-compulsive disorder; posttraumatic stress disorder; and traumatic brain injury.

   Since the diagnostic criteria for schizophreniform disorder and schizophrenia differ primarily in duration of illness, the discussion of the differential diagnosis of schizophrenia also applies to schizophreniform disorder. 

Brief psychotic disorder. Schizophreniform disorder differs in duration from brief psychotic disorder, which has a duration of less than 1 month.

Residual Schizophrenia is a condition where the patient does not experience the various debilitating symptoms of the condition, and is on the road to recovery. Yet, even in this type of Schizophrenia, the patient will not really show any interest in life and the activities around him or her. Finally, the last type of Schizophrenia is Schizoaffective Disorder which is characterised by the symptoms of Schizophrenia as well as the symptoms of major mood disorders. When combined, this condition can lead to major complications and complex behavior.

A patient suffering from this condition will need to see a mental health specialist like a psychiatrist or a psychologist on an immediate basis. The treatment will be carried out on a long term basis for the results to start appearing.

Happiness and sadness are part and parcel of life. Some things make us smile while others make us cry. While life is full of mixed emotions, being persistently sad could be a sign of depression. It is a clinical condition that needs treatment just like a fever or any other sickness.

Depression is a common mental ailment that can affect children and adults of both sexes. This is characterized by a feeling of sadness, worthless and helplessness that lasts for more than 2 weeks. Other symptoms of depression include:

1. Loss of interest in events and activities
2. Social withdrawal
3. Outbursts of irritation and frustration over small matters
4. Sleep disturbances
5. Tiredness
6. Loss of appetite
7. Unexplained weight gain or weight loss
8. Shorter attention span
9. Unexplained headaches or backaches

Though the exact cause of depression is still unknown, there are many factors that could trigger depression:

1. Fluctuating hormones: This is a very common cause of depression. This may occur during pregnancy or after delivery.
2. Thyroid problems and menopause: People with thyroid issues and women going through menopause often face the problem of depression. In some cases, a change in how neurotransmitters behave inside the brain could cause depression.
3. Genetics: It has been observed that 40% of depression cases have a genetic link. People with close relatives who suffer from depression may also suffer from the same condition.
4. Traumatic events: People who have a traumatic past such as a history of physical or sexual abuse, the death of a loved one or a difficult relationship could also trigger depression.
5. Alcohol and substance abuse: Excessive drinking and other substance abuse have been closely linked to depression.
6. Other factors: Depression can begin at any age and men are at a higher risk of suffering from this condition as compared to women. This may be because women often seek help in the early stages of depression.

People with low self-esteem and a pessimistic outlook on life have a high risk of being depressed. Treatment for cancer, heart disease and other such chronic illnesses as well as certain types of medication could also contribute to depression. 

Symptoms of depression vary from one patient to another. Hence, they can be difficult to diagnose in the early stages. Treatment typically includes medication, counselling, group therapy and a change in lifestyle habits. For example, it is imperative for depression patients to step outside their comfort zone and interact with others. For this, they may consider joining a hobby class. Regular exercise is also important as it increases production of serotonin and gives the person an opportunity to get out of the house. When it comes to depression, remember, it is very important for the patient to be supported by family and friends.