Dr. Amit Joshi

A woman’s body is different as compared to a man’s body, which is why attaining climax for the two genders is also dissimilar. A woman’s body needs to be caressed, fondled and loved to be turned, which will eventually lead to multiple orgasms during intercourse or masturbation.

However, multiple orgasms aren’t an easy feat to achieve and one can opt to use the following tricks to climax more than once:

1. Build up a frame of mind: If you stick to a singular frame of mind and focus on getting just one orgasm, you are bound to get just one. Instead, think in plurality and concentrate on what makes you feel good and focus on pleasuring yourself. This kind of focus will actually make you feel aroused and more likely to have multiple orgasms.

2. Don’t forget Kegel exercises: Kegel exercises help you in keeping your pelvic muscles in shape. Usually after having an orgasm, the muscles seem to contract, but practicing these exercises daily will allow a continuous blood flow, thus, making them strong. If the muscles are strong, you can keep going even after an orgasm which is a requisite for attaining multiple orgasms.

3. Don’t allow the arousal level to fall to zero: It is only natural for you to slow down once you climax, but instead of completely stopping, try and put the focus back on stimulating your clitoris by engaging in oral sex or changing positions. If the embers are kept lit, you will experience another intense orgasm in sometime.

Focus on the stimulation spot: The stimulation spot varies from woman to woman. Some women feel aroused when their clitoris is stimulated whilst some feel hitting the G-spot turns them on. When you know what turns you on, maximise on the foreplay around that area using varied techniques. But after an orgasm, if the stimulation around one spot is maximum, move on to the other one.

Physical intimacy makes some people very uncomfortable. In some cases, this can be bad enough to be called a phobia. Erotophobia refers to the phobias related to sex while the fear of sexual intercourse itself is referred to as Genophobia. There are many reasons for sexual phobias. It ranges from traumatic events to physical disorders such as premature ejaculation etc. This is also an uncomfortable topic to talk about and hence many people misunderstand it.

Here are a few strategies that can help you overcome this fear.

1. Educate Yourself: We are most scared of the things that we do not know. Keeping this in mind, educate yourself about the anatomical structure of the human body including the male and female genitalia. Understand how a sexual experience goes from excitement to plateauing and finally to orgasming. This will make you feel more in command over the situation.

2. Communicate With Your Partner: Your partner may misunderstand your fear of sexual intimacy as not accepting him or her. This can make them feel unloved and lead to relationship troubles. Hence, communicate openly with your partner and share your feelings and emotions. Understand that sex is an emotional activity as much as a physical activity and hence engage in a sexual relationship only with a person you are emotionally comfortable with. If you are feeling uncomfortable at any point, say NO and ensure that your partner understands what you are feeling.

3. Have Fun: Sex is not supposed to be a chore. Lighten the mood and find ways of making the experience enjoyable. Focus on foreplay rather than intercourse itself to reach a state where both partners are relaxed and at ease.

4. Address The Functioning Of Your Body: When it comes to men, erectile dysfunctioning and premature ejaculation are common causes of sexual phobias. Consult a doctor to treat these conditions and make a few lifestyle changes to live in a healthier way. Eating the right food, getting enough sleep and regular exercise can help give you confidence in your sexual abilities and thus treat sexual phobias. Also, avoid drugs that affect your physical functioning.

5. Stay in Control: For women, safety is a big issue when talking about sexual intercourse. To prevent yourself from being emotionally or physically harmed, you must always stay in control of your body. Avoid the use of alcohol or drugs that make you lose control and always keep yourself protected by using birth control or keeping a condom at hand.

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There are certain events which give your husband an instant erection and drive him to the point of becoming frisky and horny. These might be completely normal situations in your everyday life but, they are appealing to him and make him frisky.

Here are a few situations, which make your husband frisky:

1. The scent of your perfume: Women perfumes are designed to be seductive,  which is why catching a whiff of it can tease your man and can make him horny. If it’s a strong and recognisable aroma, he is bound to follow it and playfully cuddle you.

2. Consuming aphrodisiacs: Everyone is aware of the fact that consuming aphrodisiacs improves a person’s sex life, but very few people know that eating a slice of a pumpkin pie or an oyster can actually turn you on. If you’re man has indulged in any kind of aphrodisiac, it usually turns him on and makes him horny.

3. The red dress: Looking at you dolled up in a fitting, red dress is enough to turn a man on and run his fingers all over you. A study shows that red (and shades of red) are closely related to arousal and seduction.

4. When you put on his shirt: A man finds it incredibly sexy when his partner chooses to throw on his shirt in the morning or after sex. A study conducted recently proved that a man is more turned on by a woman wearing his shirt than her wearing provoking lingerie. Thus, if you are wondering what’s making him horny, it’s you wearing his clothes.

5. Nerdy antics: Men find nerdy antics about women incredibly arousing and stimulating. You might be hooked to your computer screen, but just a glimpse of you passionately working is enough to make him frisky.

6. Acarophilia: Acarophilia is a kind of paraphilia that sexually arouses a person when the other person scratches his/her back. Thus, if you scratch his back playfully, it might just turn him on without you even knowing about it.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

To be considered healthy, one must not only be physically and mentally sound, but one must also be sexually and reproductively healthy. Sexual and reproductive health includes a person’s ability to enjoy a satisfying sex life and capability of reproducing. Sexual and reproductive health is important for both men and women. 

When it comes to women, sexual health problems can refer to

• Lack of sexual desire
• Inability to be sexually aroused
• Inability to achieve an orgasm
• Painful intercourse

There are many factors that could trigger these problems, such as

• Relationship problems
• Emotional distress
• Gynaecological problems

Some of the common gynaecological problems that affect women’s sexual health are

• Vaginal dryness
• Pelvic inflammatory disease
• Vaginismus
• Endometriosis
• Uterine fibroids
• Gynaecological cancer
• Interstitial cystitis
• PCOS

Endometriosis and some of the above mentioned diseases can also affect a woman’s reproductive health and cause problems with pregnancy. Exposure to STDs is another major reproductive health problem. STDs such as HIV, gonorrhoea and HPV are dangerous not only for the mother, but also affect the health of the baby. Reproductive health problems or women also include unwanted pregnancies, unsafe abortions and maternal death.

Being a victim of sexual violence affects both sexual and reproductive health. Sexual violence can be defined as a non-consensual sexual activity. While anyone can experience this, women have a higher risk of facing such violence than men. Sexual violence can cause a person to fear sex itself and in some cases can interfere with their ability to reproduce.

Though men’s interest in sex is often joked about, men too can face sexual health problems. This could be triggered by a physical or psychological condition. Erectile dysfunction and ejaculation disorders such as premature ejaculation or retrograde ejaculation are the two most common sexual health problems faced by men. Anxiety and depression along with illnesses such as diabetes and high blood pressure can also cause a loss of libido and sexual disinterest. 

Men can also suffer from a low sperm count and low testosterone. In many cases, this can make a man infertile. Peyronie's disease and testicular cancer are other conditions that can affect a man’s sexual and reproductive health. Like women, men also need to protect themselves against STDs to ensure they remain sexually healthy. 

Thankfully, most sexual and reproductive health problems can be treated and cured with a combination of medication and psychological counselling. Hence sexual and reproductive health problems should not be considered taboo but should be addressed as soon as possible.

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Though the act of intercourse is portrayed as an act of pleasure, achieving an orgasm is an indication of a satisfying sexual act. Inability to achieve an orgasm is far more common in females than in males and this can be due to various reasons.

Read on to know some more about the causes and ways to manage this:
A mix of psychological, social, and physical conditions can lead to orgasmic disorders in female. Some of the common causes are listed below:

1. History of sexual abuse
2. Stress
3. Poor self-esteem
4. Relationship issues, lack of trust, conflicts, etc.
5. Cultural or social beliefs
6. Advancing age
7. Chronic medical conditions like diabetes
8. Medications like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which are frequently used in depression (depression is common in women)
9. Gynecologic issues like hysterectomy

It is a vicious cycle that is contributed by more than one of these factors, which leads to strengthening of the disorder in the future. Types of orgasmic disorders: There are four types of orgasmic disorders, which are as follows:

1. Primary anorgasmia: Women with such disorders have never been able to achieve an orgasm.
2. Secondary anorgasmia: Over a period of time, women who previously have had orgasms are unable to achieve an orgasm.
3. Situational anorgasmia: Women suffering from it would be able to achieve an orgasm only during certain situations like oral sex or masturbation, but may not climax during regular sexual intercourse.
4. General: These women could be highly stimulated and aroused, but would still be unable to achieve climax.

Management and diagnosis
The first step in management is diagnosis. A detailed discussion with the doctor about sexual history followed by physical examination can help identify the problem. Being open about discussing this private topic is very important in diagnosis and treatment.

Treatment would depend on the underlying cause, and include the following:

1. Diagnose and treat/manage underlying medical conditions like diabetes.
2. Switch to an alternate antidepressant if SSRIs are being used.
3. Involve in sex therapy where cognitive behavioral therapy is a big component. Becoming aware of what can be is very important.
4. Sexual counseling with the partner to resolve any conflicts, improves trust levels and the overall health of the relationship. This is often a major cause for this disorder.
5. Involving the partner to help in achieving an orgasm by clitoral stimulation, etc.
6. Hormone therapy in the form of a pill, patch or gel may be used to increase sensitization in the genital area. These help by improving blood flow to the genitals and increasing sexual desire.

It is important to understand that female anorgasmia is very common and though it can be frustrating, it can be managed effectively. But do not forget to admit the problem and seek help. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a gynaecologist and ask a free question.

It is popular belief that men are more easily aroused erotically as compared to women. However, truth is the reduced sexual arousal, or loss of libido, as it is called in medical circles, is very common. For most people, given the private nature of the topic, it is not openly discussed. Often, the only source of cures comes from reading books and online content. For some, a few close confidants may be aware of the problem. This again builds stress and becomes a major contributor to loss of libido. The best way to break this vicious cycle is to begin by admitting the problem and seeking professional help to overcome it.

There are physiologic and psychologic causes for reduced libido. The most common physiologic problem is low testosterone levels. This can be managed through lifestyle changes including exposure to sun, diet modifications, workouts and stress management. Read on for more details.

1. Diet: A heart-healthy diet is healthy for sexual life too. A diet loaded with nutrients including fresh fruits and vegetables, fish oils, omega-3 fatty acids, nuts and seeds, etc., will definitely contribute to a healthy sex life too. Avoid processed, canned and packaged foods. Ensure the diet is packed with good amounts of cholesterol, vitamins (A and E in particular), and minerals (zinc and selenium) as these are required for the production of testosterone and thereby, enhancing sexual life.

2. Smoking: Another major reason for reduced libido (and even impotence) is smoking. Those who have reduced or quit smoking can vouch for connection between sex life and smoking.

3. Alcohol: While it is popular belief that alcohol allows for a great sexual experience, the truth is far from it. Though alcohol helps shed initial inhibitions, it reduces performance. Therefore, excessive alcohol should be avoided.

4. Exercise: A healthy heart directly translates to an active sexual life. Any vigorous activity for 30 to 45 minutes (running, jogging, swimming, or cycling) which pumps up the heart works wonders for the sexual life too.

5. Sun Exposure: Vitamin D is essential for the optional production of testosterone and effective functioning of the male reproductive system. If you can get about 15 minutes of sun a day, great! Else, try vitamin D supplements and see the difference.

6. Stress Management: One of the major reasons for reduced arousal is stress. When you are stressed about something or the other, the chances that you enjoy a good sex life are very less. Beat the stress and see the change.

7. Invest in the Relationship: Your partner and you should take some quality time out and invest in building a long-lasting, trustworthy, healthy relationship which will naturally lead to a great sexual life. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.

There are a lot of misleading information going around, especially online. So all that you read online, may not be correct. Sex is a topic that has been much hushed about, thus leading to the birth of many baseless rumours and embarrassing myths. Don’t believe in every single detail you come across online, they have got their own glitches. But hey! You do need to know the truth about it all, and this article tries to do just that.

Here are a few embarrassing myths and facts about sex which you may come across:
1. Myth: You do not get pregnant the first time you have sex
Fact: You can get pregnant anytime after you have penetrative sex. There is no such stipulated count or time as to when you get pregnant. The moment you have penetrative sex, certainly without any protective measure, the chance of pregnancy goes up.

2. Myth: Men think and want more of it as compared to women.
Fact: This is not true. The desire for intimacy and sex varies among individuals, irrespective of the gender.

3. Myth: Having sex in a pool drastically reduces the chances of contracting any STD.
Fact: Generally, maximum STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) are contracted by coming in sexual contact or through unprotected sexual intercourse. Having sex in a pool with a person already infected with any STD will automatically up your chance of contracting the STD as well. Water cannot prevent the transmission of any STD.

4. Myth: Douching after indulging in sexual intercourse can prevent a pregnancy.
Fact: Douching is definitely not a method to prevent pregnancy. And it’s about time this myth gets busted. Douching with soda, water or any other fluid can only guarantee infections in the genitals and nothing more. This is because douching disrupts the natural balance of the vaginal bacteria, thus also disturbing the pH balance of the vagina. The only way you can prevent a pregnancy is by using protection or taking birth control pills if you’ve had unprotected sexual intercourse.

5. Myth: It isn’t possible to contract STDs if you just have oral sex.
Fact: While it is true that maximum STDs are spread through unprotected vaginal intercourse, there are certain STDs, the transmission of which might not be only dependant on vaginal penetration. STDs such as HPV, Herpes and Syphilis can spread even if you just have unprotected oral sex. So, even if it is oral sex that you want to enjoy, do not give the protection a miss. Dental dams are always available at your disposal; using which might curb risks of such STDs. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.