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It is obvious for your little ones to feel anxious and uncomfortable when they have to bid a temporary farewell to you. Though you may be at your wits’ end in dealing with the tantrums, tears and clinginess of your kids, this is a normal stage in the child’s mental growth. With the help of coping strategies, you can help your child come out of the disorder quite easily.
Helping kids deal with separation anxiety:
You can easily aid your kids overcome the separation anxiety by making them feel comfortable and safer. You should try to create a sympathetic ambience at home to make your child feel at ease and talk to the school authorities if they can be a bit compassionate about the child.
Learn the reasons behind the anxiety: When you are aware of what makes your child feel anxious when he or she is separated from you, you will be able to offer better solutions and empathise with your child’s struggles.
Listen to what your child says: As a responsive parent, you must listen to what your child is feeling and have respect towards it. If a child is feeling isolated, he or she can be healed back to a normal state when they are listened to with proper care and sympathy.
Discuss about the issue: A child feels much relieved when he or she knows that there is someone to talk about his or her anxiety and fears. You should refrain from telling kids to stop thinking about it, and instead, tenderly remind the child how bravely he or she survived the last separation without any harm.
Anticipate the difficulty faced by your child: You should be prepared for transition moments in which your child may feel immensely anxious, such as going to school or meeting friends for playing. In case your child feels more comfortable separating from the other parent than you, it is wise to let the other parent handle the separation moment.
Offer a consistent schedule throughout the day: You must never underestimate the significance of predictability for your child with separation anxiety issues. When you offer them a consistent schedule pattern for a day, they can easily cope up with the anxiety with the passage of time. In case there are going to be any alterations in the schedule, you must speak to your kids about it , ahead of time.
With these small steps, you can help your small child deal with separation anxiety. But in case you feel that the situation is out of control, and you are unable to control your kids, it is probably time to seek professional help.
Tragedies are a part of life and at some point of life, every person undergoes some large-scale tragedy. It may be in different forms like separation, crisis in relationships, financial stress, death of a loved one, some severe disease and many others.
A large scale tragedy can cripple a person and devastate him. However, instead of breaking down, one should stand strong and face the situation. Here are 5 ways to cope with a large-scale tragedy:
- Talking to someone, honestly: You are not alone is this world and should not forget that there are many other people all around you. In case of a tragedy, you usually have a lot of pent-up feelings inside you. Instead of keeping them to yourself, you must share these feelings with your friends or any person whom you trust. Venting out will enable you to relax.
- Act on truth: Always keep in mind that whatever happens in life, there is a chance to start afresh. Always remember that you are not alone and there are people to help you out, no matter what kind of tragedy you have undergone. There is always some hope left.
- Be realistic: You have to differentiate between wishful thinking and hope and get it clear in your head. Wishful thinking might not get you anywhere and eventually you will be more disappointed. However, if you stick to reality and hope realistically, slowly you will be able to come out of your shell and face the world again. Face the reality that you have to struggle a lot for quite a long time and do not think about miracles.
- Second chances: In many situations, a tragedy comes with a blame. However, you should not confuse between condemnation and responsibility. Taking responsibility is wise, but self-condemnation takes you along the wrong track. You should give yourself another chance. You must let go of guilt and learn how to forgive and forget. By giving a new start, things will get back to normal. This is applicable in case of relationship-related tragedies.
- Have faith in God: When you are in a situation which is too tough to cope with, and you cannot foresee any hope, you have to believe in God. Keeping the faith is the best thing to do, and you should believe that hope is possible. If you have faith in a greater power, you will get through.
Large scale tragedies are difficult to cope with and can make you feel that your life is over. However, instead of isolating oneself and burying the grief, proper measures should be taken to cope with the tragedy for better and peaceful living. In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!
Marriage is perhaps the most important relation in an adult’s life. That’s why it needs extra care and attention, especially when things are not exactly gung ho. This is where marriage or marital therapy comes in.
Marriage counseling is the process of counseling the married couple to recognize and to reconcile or at least manage differences and repeating patterns of stress upon the marital relationship.
Basic practices of marital therapy
- The basic practices of marital therapy focus primarily on the process of communicating. Counselors use a method called active listening.
- Another method used is called “Cinematic immersion”. Both these methods have one important thing in common- they help counselors create a safe environment where each partner can express feelings and hear the feelings of the other.
- Emotionally focused therapy for couples or EFT-C is also used. This is based on attachment theory and uses emotion as an agent of change and target, both.
- Behavioral couples’ therapy is another method used. It is actually a proven way out of marital discord. This method focuses on integrating the twin goals of acceptance and change for couples in therapy.
The successful couples usually make concrete changes to accommodate the needs of the partner and also show greater emotional acceptance of the other.
Role of the relationship counselor
A couple therapist is usually someone with a degree in psychiatry or counseling. And her primary role is to listen, understand and facilitate better communication between the couple. The counselor also:
- Provides a confidential tete-a tete, which normalizes feelings
- Enables each partner to be heard and to hear themselves
- Works as a mirror to reflect the marriage’s difficulties to the partners
- Outlines the potential and direction for change
- Delivers important information
- Improves communication
- Identifies the repetitive, negative interaction cycle that drives a problematic marriage as a pattern
- Understands the source of emotions behind that negative pattern
- Re-organizes these key emotional responses to offset the pattern
- Creates new patterns of interaction
- Increases emotional attachment between partners
When should you seek marital therapy?
- When you avoid communicating or your communication has become negative- This usually means bad language, verbal abuse, and sometimes physical abuse.
- When you or your partner have sought out other sexual partners – Marital therapy can save a marriage after an affair if both partners want and work out the kinks in their relationship.
- Lack of intimacy in the marriage- This is the stage when partners just occupy the same space without communication, or exchange of feelings or touch.
Marriage counseling is a long process. And another thing to remember is that it can’t save a marriage that is unsalvageable. So, go in for marital therapy with an aim to do what’s the best for you and your partner.
In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!
Parenting is a lifetime job be it for a normal child or a child with special needs. Parents are teachers, guides, leaders, protectors and providers for their children. Parenting is a process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, financial and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Every child is a gift and a blessing to their parents. On the other hand, parenting itself is one of the toughest jobs and that too for a child with special needs, it is both a blessing and challenge.
It is a very unique experience to live with a disabled child as it has a major impact on the family, siblings and extended family members. However, discovering a problem should be the initial step to start with parenting such children. Discovering a child's special needs is often a confusing and painful process for parents as sometimes learning difficulties can be multiple and difficult to pinpoint and it can be hard for parents to know whether things are normal or not.
There are various categories of disabilities that your child might fall under. For example: Specific Learning Disability (SLD), Other Health Impairment, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Emotional disturbance, Speech or language impairment, Visual impairment, including blindness, Deafness, Deaf-blindness, Orthopedic impairment, Intellectual disability, Traumatic brain injury, Multiple disabilities.
Some common indications for the development of learning disabilities which can be taken into consideration
- Difficulty with reading/writing
- Problems with math skills
- Difficulty in remembering
- Problem in paying attention
- Trouble following directions
- Difficulty with concepts related to time
- Problem in staying organized
- Impulsive behavior
- Inappropriate responses in school or social situations
- Difficulty staying on task(easily distracted)
- Difficulty finding the right way to say something
- Immature way of speaking
- Inconsistent school performance
- Difficulty listening well
- Problem in understanding words or concept
But the above mentioned signs are not enough to determine that a person has a learning disability. A professional assessment is also necessary to diagnose a learning disability because every disability has its own signs and unless they persist over time cannot be considered as a 'disability'.
Raising a child with dyslexia can stir up a lot of emotions. You may look ahead and wonder if this learning issue will affect your child's future. But dyslexia is not a prediction of failure. Dyslexia is quite common, and many successful individuals have dyslexia.
Research has proven that there are different ways of teaching that can help people with dyslexia succeed. There's a lot you can do as a parent too.
What are the symptoms of dyslexia?
Because dyslexia affects some people more severely than others, your child's symptoms may look different from those in another child. Some kids with dyslexia have trouble with reading and spelling. Others may struggle to write or to tell left from right.
Dyslexia can also make it difficult for people to express themselves clearly. It can be hard for them to structure their thoughts during conversation. They may have trouble finding the right words to say.
Others struggle to understand what they're hearing. This is especially true when someone uses nonliteral language such as jokes and sarcasm.
The signs you see may also look different at various ages. Some of the warning signs for dyslexia, such as a speech delay, appear before a child reaches kindergarten. More often, though, dyslexia is identified in grade school. As schoolwork gets more demanding, trouble processing language becomes more apparent.
Here are some signs to look out for:
- Warning Signs in Preschool or Kindergarten
- Has trouble recognizing the letters of the alphabet
- Struggles to match letters to sounds, such as not knowing what sounds b or h make
- Has difficulty blending sounds into words, such as connecting C-H-A-T to the word chat
- Struggles to pronounce words correctly, such as saying 'mawn lower' instead of 'lawn mower'
- Has difficulty learning new words
- Has a smaller vocabulary than other kids the same age
- Has trouble learning to count or say the days of the week and other common word sequences
- Has trouble rhyming
Warning Signs in Grade School or Middle School-
- Struggles with reading and spelling
- Confuses the order of letters, such as writing 'left' instead of 'felt'
- Has trouble remembering facts and numbers
- Has difficulty gripping a pencil
- Has difficulty using proper grammar
- Has trouble learning new skills and relies heavily on memorization
- Gets tripped up by word problems in math
- Has a tough time sounding out unfamiliar words
- Has trouble following a sequence of directions
Warning Signs in High School-
- Struggles with reading out loud
- Doesn't read at the expected grade level
- Has trouble understanding jokes or idioms
- Has difficulty organizing and managing time
- Struggles to summarize a story
- Has difficulty learning a foreign language
Skills that are affected by Dyslexia-
Dyslexia doesn't just affect reading and writing. Here are some everyday skills and activities your child may be struggling with because of this learning issue:
- Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.
- Labelled lazy, dumb, careless, immature, "not trying hard enough," or "behavior problem."
- Isn't "behind enough" or "bad enough" to be helped in the school setting.
- High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.
- Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.
- Talented in art, drama, music, sports, mechanics, story-telling, sales, business, designing, building, or engineering.
- Seems to "Zone out" or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.
- Difficulty sustaining attention; seems "hyper" or "daydreamer."
- Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids.
Vision, Reading, and Spelling Skills:
- Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.
- Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.
- Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.
- Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.
- Seems to have difficulty with vision, yet eye exams don't reveal a problem.
- Extremely keen sighted and observant, or lacks depth perception and peripheral vision.
Reads and rereads with little comprehension:
- Spells phonetically and inconsistently.
- Hearing and Speech Skills
- Has extended hearing; hears things not said or apparent to others; easily distracted by sounds.
- Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress; mispronounces long words, or transposes phrases, words, and syllables when speaking.
Writing and Motor Skills:
- Trouble with writing or copying; pencil grip is unusual; handwriting varies or is illegible.
- Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.
- Can be ambidextrous, and often confuses left/right, over/under.
- Math and Time Management Skills
- Has difficulty telling time, managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time.
- Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can't do it on paper.
- Can count, but has difficulty counting objects and dealing with money.
- Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems; cannot grasp algebra or higher math.
Memory and Cognition:
- Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.
- Poor memory for sequences, facts and information that has not been experienced.
- Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).
- Behavior, Health, Development and Personality
- Extremely disorderly or compulsively orderly.
- Can be class clown, trouble-maker, or too quiet.
- Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, crawling, walking, tying shoes).
- Prone to ear infections; sensitive to foods, additives, and chemical products.
- Can be an extra deep or light sleeper; bedwetting beyond appropriate age.
- Unusually high or low tolerance for pain.
- Strong sense of justice; emotionally sensitive; strives for perfection.
What can be done at home for dyslexia?
Helping your child with dyslexia can be a challenge, particularly if you're never been confident in your own reading and writing skills. But you don't have to be an expert to help work on certain skills or strengthen your child's self-esteem.
Keep in mind that kids (and families) are all different, so not all options will work for you. Don't panic if the first strategies you try aren't effective. You may need to try several approaches to find what works best for your child. Here are some things you can try at home:
- Read out loud every day
- Tap into your child's interests
- Use audiobooks
- Look for apps and other high-tech help
- Focus on effort, not outcome
- Make your home reader-friendly
- Boost confidence
What can make the journey easier?
Dyslexia can present challenges for your child and for you. But with the proper support, almost all people with dyslexia can become accurate readers. Your involvement will help tremendously.
Wherever you are in your journey, whether you're just starting out or are well on your way, this site can help you find more ways to support your child. Here are a few things that can help make the journey easier:
- Connect with other parents. Remember that you're not alone. Use our safe online community to find parents like you.
- Get behavior advice. Parenting Coach offers expert-approved strategies on a variety of issues that can affect children with dyslexia, including trouble with time management, anxiety and fear, frustration and low self-esteem.
- Build a support plan. Come up with a game plan and anticipate what lies ahead.
Understanding dyslexia and looking for ways to help your child is an important first step. There's a lot you can do just don't feel you have to do everything all at once. Pace yourself. If you try a bunch of strategies at the same time, it might be hard to figure out which ones are working. And do your best to stay positive. Your love and support can make a big difference in your child's life.
In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!
Every person faces ups and downs in life, the difference lies in how we deal with the low points of our life. Losing someone you love is probably the saddest experience anyone can go through. Our natural reaction to such a loss is grief. The more significant the loss; the more intense your grief will be. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and everyone grieves in a different way.
However, here are a few healthy ways you can cope with your loss to move on with your life.
- Build a support system: When you are grieving, you may feel that nobody understands how you feel and would want to isolate yourself. Do not allow yourself to withdraw into a shell and instead build a support system of friends and family who you trust. You could also visit a counselor who is trained to deal with such situations. Joining a support group can also help.
- Face your grief: Not allowing yourself to grieve can do more harm than good. You can suppress your grief for a short time but you cannot avoid it forever. The longer you avoid facing it, the more difficult it will be. Suppressing grief can also lead to a number of health problems such as depression, substance abuse and anxiety.
- Look after your health: When grieving for the loss of a loved one, you may not feel hungry and may want to simply lie in bed all day. But you must instead get out, eat right and exercise regularly. When the body is healthy, you not only feel better physically but also emotionally. Avoid turning to alcohol and drugs to lift your mood.
- Express yourself: Bottling up your emotions is never a good idea. However, sometimes talking about how you feel can be difficult. In such situations, look for alternate means of expressing yourself. For examples, you could try painting or start a scrapbook.
- Look out for grief triggers: What makes coping with the loss of a loved one difficult is the fact that you share a number of life events with them. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and festive occasions can bring back memories of the person and overwhelm you. To successfully heal, you must plan ahead for events like this that will trigger grief. Do not allow yourself to be alone at such times.
- Seek professional help: Sometimes, when you are dealing with the loss of a loved one, you find yourself sinking into depression or find it difficult to resume your normal lifestyle. It is a good idea to consult a mental health practitioner or counselor.
These tips to help you to face your problems and move on in life.
In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!