Know how Premature ejaculation can affect your sex life and its treatment
Hi I'm Poosha, Sexologist and Sex Counsellor and a Consultant at Lybrate.com. We'll talk about very frequently asked question about a sexual function, that is, premature ejaculation.
Not too many people are familiar with this word, rather they would describe their problem as rapid ejaculation. Mere pati ko takat nahi hai, stamina nahi hai, such are the kind of descriptions we come across and the real problem is the male concerned is not able to withstand intercourse for more than one or upto two minutes. Sometimes, they ejaculate within one minute. It is calculated from the time of intromission, it is inserting the penis inside, to ejaculating the time is either less than one minute or slightly around one minute. And premature ejaculation is a very very common male dysfunction, probably the most common male sexual dysfunction without any bodily cause. So utimately what we see is if the male is ejaculating much earlier than the female and earlier than he wishes to then we consider it as a case of premature ejaculation.
So, a lot of people think that this premature ejaculation is a disorder or disease which it is not. And secondly, many people attribue this to their past habits and they call it bad habits, "curse" put in quotes. So, they describe their problem as doctor I've masturbated during my childhood or in my adulthood and now I've this curse of premature ejaculation, I'm unable to satisfy my wife, she is very unhappy with me, I'm afraid she might even leave me and all. So they attribute the thing that this is the cause that they have masturbated in the past that's why the problem occurs, which again isn't correct. Actually masturbation doesn't cause premature ejaculation, on the contrary you can use masturbation as a tool to overcome premature ejaculation, you can change yourself using that. Whether they're anxious people whether they've any psychological disorders earlier, what is their family background, what is the relationship between the male and the female, the wife and the husband, how do they interact with each other, how do they take the problem, are they hostile or are they anxious, are they stressed out. Is the marriage is in distess or are they quarreling, is there good communication, do they love and care each other despite this problem all these things we've to assess first. So, based on this assessment we choose the method of treatment.
We've two methods, one is the natural method where in we'll train the couple to first understand how the premature ejaculation is taking place and then how to control it. Similarly, ejaculatory control is very difficult and initially it seems impossible but then as weeks pass by we learn each and every technique piece by piece and with experience they'll be able to overcome premature ejaculation and they'll be able to enjoy sex for several minutes. I know people who have been able to enjoy sex beyond 10 minutes, 20 minutes but let me not quote any higher minutes because they're rare instances. So, this is based on natural methods which require a good cooperation and understanding between the couple, and that is very important. But when the couple is in distress or if the natural method is something they're not able to learn and implement easily then we go for or choose Firm Classical treatment or Drug treatment.
There are a number of drugs which sometimes can be applied physically, outside the skin or there are drugs that can be taken through mouth that can solve the problem. But they're short lived, as long as they're used then only they work and after stopping the medicines again the problem returns. But what we do is while they're learning, while they're enjoying their sexual life it increases their intramission period we teach them the natural techniques so that the techniques will remain for a very long time and they can enjoy their lives. So anyone who is having a premature ejaculation problem should not be distressed. They should understand that this is a very natural, very normally occuring phenomenon and this can be easily resolved through either medicines or natural methods or a combination of both.
So the best thing they should do to help them get results is to consult a sex therapist as soon as they can so the marriage doesn't fall into distress.read more
Here are symptoms, causes, myth and treatment of Night Emission
Hi I am Poosha sex counsellor and sexologist. Friends, a lot people are worried about the emissions, ejaculations happening during the sleep time. These are called sleep emissions, nocturnal emissions, and nocturnal ejaculations or in common practice nightfall. Ejaculations do not occur for women but nocturnal orgasms do occur for girls and women also. Clearly this happens because external tensions build up inside the body and there is no relief mechanism there is no way out like no opportunity to participate in sex or even it is participated there is still much more need and desire. In such cases usually nightfall happens. Also there is a physiological basis for this one nocturnal emissions probably happen in a way it’s a nature’s way of testing its actual mechanisms.
Like take the example of a pressure cooker its steam builds up inside pressure comes out in the form of steam. So also when this actual pressure keeps building inside you the semen is ejaculated. As if through voluntary exercises like masturbation but if that is not there through sleep. There is nothing wrong about it. Nothing is lost. People are afraid that semen is lost. No semen will never be lost because semen production is an everyday process. It’s ok that a lot of people who experience nocturnal emissions almost every day or some people who experience it once in a month or twice in a month. There are people who get night, nocturnal emissions probably once or twice in an entire year and I can assure you I can tell you there are people who saw any night emissions at all. Everything is normal every frequency is normal. If they think it is excessive what they should do is stop thinking so much about sex.
Whenever sexual thoughts come you don’t stop the thoughts because they are natural for that age for any as it matter. But if the thoughts are bothering let the mind be diverted into something that is equally interesting which is a non-sexual thing. Think about education, think about games, think about sports, think about going to a movie, think about GOD or whatever interests you, think about scenic beauties, hobbies, anything. By diverting your mind into both directions where sexual thoughts are little reduced.
So people ask me what is the treatment for nocturnal emissions. There is no treatment there is no need for any treatment because it’s a natural phenomenon. Don’t try to interfere in nature’s ways. And remember nocturnal emissions will go away on their own. Once married there won’t be any nocturnal emissions at all except probably when his wife is away or is not in a position to participate in sex once in a while they may occur and as advance as the nocturnal emissions frequency will come down drastically and early people very rarely experienced that one. It doesn’t deplete anything it doesn’t come in the way of reduction in sexual life in any way. God has created that the nature has created that accept it as it is.
Good luck to you.read more
Effects of Masturbation
Hi! I am Dr. Poosha, sexologist and sex counselor. I am also the editor of the India’s longest published magazine in Absarika published from 1949. I am also a consultant on Lybrate.com for the last 15 months.
Friends, today we will talk about masturbation. This is a solitary practice as you can understand done in privacy and it starts at the age of about 8 to 9 years in boys. It can also start as late as 50 years for some people, until then they may not be starting masturbation at all. So the occurrence of masturbation can start at any time from childhood till the late age. Unlike many people think, women also masturbate. Lots of people and qualified doctors propagate that masturbation leads to impotence, immature ejaculation, causes nervous disability, general weakness and stop the growth of the penis which make the organ small. Some people also believe that the penis becomes small because of masturbation. These are some of the terrible misconception by the public. There are some people who go to the extent of saying that masturbation is the cause of epilepsy, insanity, schizophrenia also. But believe me, every single one of them is a myth and absolutely wrong and there is no scientific basis for this at all.
In fact, masturbation is not only a natural and safe outlet without any hazards to the health including sexual health, life, performance, desires and responses. None of them is affected by masturbation. In fact, there are some benefits as well. In the first place, it gives you the sexual satisfaction that you desire at any given age. Secondly, it relieves you of the sexual tensions building up in the body so that you are able to focus on your studies or work or other things. More importantly, you will be safe from sexually transmitted infections that could arise if you indulge in casual sex. For casual sex, other consequences are also there like cultural, biological and psychological. All these problems can be avoided if you stick to masturbation. Finally, it saves you from prostatic problems.
If masturbation is done by elderly people especially, the prostate symptoms, infections and enlargement signs can be relieved. For persons of every age, masturbation can be used as a tool for overcoming premature ejaculation. So remember that masturbation is harmless and here is nothing wrong in doing it. But I have come across a lot of people who says that they are addicted to masturbation. We will discuss about this issue at some other time.
Thank you, I practice in Samalkot and Hyderabad. You can walk into my clinic if you have any queries on this subject and I also answer questions through lybrate.com so you can fix up an appointment through lybrate. You can ask your questions and get text, video or written answers.read more
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Treatment of Premature Ejaculation
Treatment Of Erectile Dysfunction
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I have Phimosis since birth. Please tell me the way to cure phimosis without surgery. Thanks in advance.
Doctor, When I ejaculate there is no power and I just spill out instead of shooting out and the fluid is very thick and the quantity is less. Is this problem caused due to masturbation or due to wrong diet? I masturbate everyday and is that the main problem? How can I increase my shooting power and the quantity of the fluid.
I had my periods on 21st September which ended on 25th September. However I had an unprotected sex on 30th September where my husband ejaculated partially on my vagina, not inside exactly. Do I have chances of getting pregnant? Can the sperm flow inside the vagina? Or I am in the safe period? I am scared of getting pregnant right now.
I think I am suffering from penis curvature .but I am confused. But if I am sure of this I want to get it cured. Please help me with this problem .please please suggest me ways to strengthen penis. Which oil to apply and I preferably want domestic ways. Which food to eat and all. Please help me with it. I know it can be cured. I dnt want any medicinal treatments. Please help me. Is my problem disastrous. Will it not get cured? Please suggest me some best remedies domestic ones and yes which oil is best.
I have suffered, early ejaculation sexual problem due to my previous continues masturbation practice, so how could be treated?
Im 28 years old. Im married. Im suffering from premature ejaculation problem. My penis is not get much tight without taking viagra. What should I do for long time sex stamina n tight penis?
I have two semen analysis reports 1st before 20 days taken after 12 hours of last ejaculation counts 50 million fast 65% sluggish 20% dead 15% pus cells 10-12 after taking antibiotics for 5 days and report after 72 hours of last ejaculation counts 92 million motile 85-90% dead 10-15% pus cells 3-4 now questions are which report should be considered ok should I go for 3rd test? Can I become father? Can pus cells infect my wife? Shall I continue taking antibiotics? I will be highly thankful for your responses Time between penetration and ejaculation: 5 min Can you delay ejaculation? Yes Same problem with masturbation: No Same problem with previous partners: No Do you masturbate daily: Yes.
If you’re ejaculating and climaxing sooner than you and your partner would like, sex may not be satisfying for either of you. It’s a problem called premature ejaculation (PE). Though there is no set time that defines what is a 'normal time' of ejaculation, coming within a minute can be safely classified as PE. People variously describe it as 'I am coming too soon', 'early ejaculation', 'semen/liquid coming out immediately', 'quick ejaculation', 'less stamina', 'jaldi gir padta hai', etc.
Premature ejaculation can cause embarrassment or even frustration, as
- male loses erection and can no longer continue sex,
- both partners find that they do not have enough time to enjoy sex.
- PE leaves the female partner aroused and unsatisfied.
This may lead to frustration for both, and can potentially hurt the relationship, affect the sexual response cycle of the woman, and negatively impact the male's self-esteem. PE is very commonly experienced by young men, and will slowly resolve on its own with sexual experience and age. Almost 40% of men have experienced PE at one time or other in their lives. PE is common when the sexual partners are new or when it has been several days since you have last ejaculated.
What causes premature ejaculation?
The exact causes of PE are not yet established. Many factors are attributed to PE, ranging from biological (low serotonin levels) to psychological causes and situational factors.
- Biological causes: Serotonin is a natural substance made by the nerves. An increase in serotonin levels in the brain help men prolong the time taken to ejaculate and low levels of this substance can lead to PE.
- Psychological factors:
- Masturbation? Contrary to the popular belief, masturbation per se does not cause PE. But the way one masturbates might! For ex., if one has been ejaculating rapidly during masturbation, it is likely that the same (rapid ejaculation) will continue in sexual intercourse too. On the contrary, if one has learned to hold ejaculation and stay longer in masturbation, the same can be adopted in sexual intercourse too.
How is PE treated?
It comes as a relief to know that, this most common male sexual problem has a high success rate with treatment programs. PE need not be life-long and that with some help, it can be overcome. Overcoming Premature Ejaculation and staying longer in sex is possible in two ways:
1. Through medical treatment
The first consists of oral medication and/or topical numbing creams for external application. They will help you improve your ejaculatory latency (time it takes to ejaculate). They provide quick relief from the problem thus helping restore the missing pleasure & satisfaction for both partners in sexual life. However, the effect of drugs is not ever-lasting. That is where the natural methods come into the picture.
2. Natural methods
In the natural methods of ejaculatory control, we help you understand what exactly is causing premature ejaculation (PE), and what actions trigger ejaculation, and then teach dos and don'ts and specific techniques to control ejaculation. Some of the popular methods include the stop-start technique, the squeeze technique, the Abhisarika technique, to mention a few. These methods are easy to learn but need some effort and practice. Once learned, they could give a long-term benefit. The whole program may last from 4-8 weeks, depending on the pace of your learning and mastering the techniques. Guidance will be provided as and when needed within this period to help you gain control. It would be a good idea if the couples are not in harmonious relationship, counseling and therapy for relationship issues should precede PE treatment. Some men with PE also have erectile dysfunction (ED, erection problem) too. For such men, ED is treated first, followed by PE. Help and assistance for Premature Ejaculation (PE) is available through Lybrate.com. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Sexologist.
Hi sir, my age is 25 from my childhood myself I am release the sperms so is it ok for health is any health problems and also penis size is 2.5 or 3 length I think I am smokers also regular.
Even if I watch porn it will not leak but when my girlfriend touch or kiss me after that if I check my penis it has leaked fluid .is it good if not suggest some measures to correct it.
Most men in our culture feel it is important that their female partners get that much needed sexual release through the big O - orgasm, but it is not always the case, especially when the woman desires but cannot. Orgasm (climax, trupti, satisfaction, coming) marks the culmination of the progressively mounting sexual arousal and tension, as it reaches a peak and suddenly releases through pulsating uterine and vaginal contractions accompanied by intense pleasure. Many a time, women do not orgasm in sexual intercourse.
Frequently, it is due to a combination of factors like inadequate foreplay, insufficient arousal, the male partner's premature ejaculation or being unaware of how to take oneself to climax. It could also be due to the woman's intrinsic inability to reach orgasm, despite favourable conditions. We describe such a situation as orgasmic dysfunction or anorgasmia. Inability to climax can prove distressful to several women, while quite a few of them are as happy without orgasms, are not bothered by it and therefore do not even complain or consult.
- No orgasm is not abnormal: It's a widespread myth that women must reach orgasm to be able to enjoy sexual intercourse. Many men and several women hold this false notion. While orgasm can be a payoff, many women agree that it is not must for them to enjoy sex or seek it. They enjoy the overall experience much more than the end result. Many women find the emotional intimacy experienced through physical intimacy, and sufficient foreplay enriching, and are not bothered by getting or not getting an orgasm.
- Two-thirds need another type of stimulation: There is nothing wrong with a woman who cannot reach an orgasm through intercourse. Different women are built differently. Only about a third of women can orgasm through intercourse. A third need extra stimulation during intercourse. Another third never orgasm during intercourse, but can through manual or oral stimulation of clitoris. The best way to know is through exploration, paying attention to body language and reactions.
- Frigid or strained relations?: Women who have never ever had an orgasm or those once had but currently unable to, are falsely labelled frigid or considered to be in relationship trouble. This is yet another myth that many people harbor. Frigidity is a pejorative term now discarded. A female may be perfectly normal and happy in her relationship and yet may not orgasm. There may be many other causes for this such as the side effects of certain medications, chronic illnesses, sexual pain, or severe stress.
- Nothing can be done about it?: Well, this one is another big myth. If the female is not able to orgasm, then there is plenty that one can do about it. To begin with, the woman can try relaxation techniques, arousal heightening techniques, manual or oral stimulation of clitoris, either before, during or after intercourse. In the end, a woman is responsible for her own sexual pleasure. She needs to learn what type, duration, intensity and pattern of stimulation, she needs to reach the peak of excitement. And, a loving partner can help her in many ways to reach orgasm. The sex therapists are trained to help you overcome difficulties in becoming orgasmic and can be reached here. If you wish to discuss any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
My wife don't take interest in physical relationship. She agrees only once a week. Is this normal or we should meet a doctor for normal life.
When a woman's vaginal muscles squeeze tightly, or slams shut making it impossible or extremely painful when penetration with the penis or any other object is attempted, we describe that situation as 'vaginismus'. It's an involuntary contraction of muscles surrounding the vaginal opening. It is different from voluntarily squeezing the vaginal muscles out of fear. Vaginismus happens out of the person's control. In other words, the opening shuts automatically, when intercourse or insertion of a medical instrument is attempted. Penetration would not happen; the attempt would end up in pain for the woman. In the case of intercourse, she might describe the experience as a feeling that the man is 'hitting a wall'. Usually, women having vaginismus would fear genital examination and disallow it, especially inserting any object -even a finger, leave alone the speculum. There are cases where women kicked the staff, jumped off the examination table and ran out. Ridiculous as it might appear, it's a genuine morbid fear for the woman.
Why does it happen?
No physical cause is identified with vaginismus. It's considered mostly psychogenic. In some women, it can be traced to a previous painful intercourse, or a rough and injurious attempt at intercourse, and severe anxiety. Some are severely apprehensive and anticipate pain and injury during first intercourse. I have known a woman who was terrified watching her sister deliver a baby, and decided to never conceive. The subconscious association of intercourse with pregnancy used to trigger anxiety in her whenever intercourse is attempted and resulted in vaginismus.
How can it be resolved?
It can be resolved, though it's a little time-consuming therapeutic process. It is not cured with medicines. And, there is no need for surgery. A sex therapist skilled in treating vaginismus, can help the couple resolve their problem through therapeutic suggestions and counseling, without touching the client (I mention this because several clients keep asking us anxiously "do you have to examine me?", and feeling so much relieved on hearing a "no!").
How does the therapist go about it?
- Educating the couple: The couple – especially the woman needs awareness about her basic anatomy and function of the sex organs. what each is meant for, how one should touch, explore and handle them.
- Exercises: During sex therapy, she will be given various homework exercises that include:
- exploring genitals to increase her level of comfort with the genital area.
- using graded vaginal trainers to be inserted into the vagina gently and gradually in a non-threatening way at her own pace, and
- controlling and relaxing vaginal muscles, and stretching the vagina.
- Relaxation: Getting yourself to relax progressively is a matter of exploration and touching, which can help you understand the kind of touch and the exact areas that make you tense. During sex therapy, you may be taught a technique known as progressive relaxation. The purpose is to get gradually comfortable with insertion.
- Sensate focus: This is a part of sex therapy and involves your partner. In this method, you will be asked to abstain from sex and touch each other without going to the genitals and other private parts. This will help in better arousal and sexual stimulation, especially for those women who, for fear of intercourse, also experience arousal problems.
Surgery: Surgery is rarely indicated in vaginismus, unless a physical problem is contributing to it or when there is a need to enlarge the vagina. This may be necessary if a previous surgery has left scar tissue making vaginal entry painful, such as an episiotomy during childbirth. If you wish to discuss any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.