Dr. P Chakrapani

A couple of decades ago, medical professionals believed that a lot of females could not climax at all. There are a number of reasons for this. It is easy for the male to know when he has achieved an orgasm, which usually happens with ejaculation, which is quite evident. For the females, on the other hand, it is not so evident. It is a perceived feeling and while the media showcase it in a particular way, reality is far moved from it.

There are various reasons why it is very difficult to pin this down. Orgasms are not just an elusive feeling for the woman, it is an elusive topic for the medical professionals too. Read on to know some of the common causes (more beliefs or notions) about this and some simple but effective ways of managing this.

Private topic: Girls are very shy compared to boys and both their exposure to sex education and discussion about this is limited compared to boys. We might tend to think of it as common in India alone, but this is true across a vast number of countries. We are not alone! This shyness continues into their later years too, and unless transformed by the partner, it may continue to be a topic that is shunned.

Purpose: Sex is more deemed as a form of procreation rather than for sex. Therefore, while sex is necessary for conception, orgasm is not. This is one more reason (strange but true) that orgasm is very elusive for a woman.

Psychological factors: It could be guilt from past relationships or fear of past abuse. It could be fear of losing control or fear of coming across as vulnerable. For any of these reasons, women can have difficulties climaxing during the act.

In men, the causes are more defined and physical in nature and include erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, retrograde ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation.

Whatever the cause of the problem, the first step in coping up with the issue is to acknowledge the issue. Being a private topic, this is not something that is going to draw the person towards medical help. However, this needs to be discussed frankly with the partner or with the doctor. Getting the partner involved removes a lot of psychological barriers (guilt, fear, anxiety, etc.) This would result in natural ironing out of issues, improving the performance of both the people involved.

If that does not happen, seeking professional help, be it medical help to correct physical issues or counselling, is the next suggestion. A frank discussion will do wonders, and what was once elusive can be well within your reach.