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Parents dread having to deal with meltdowns. However, parents of children with ADHD may face more meltdowns than other parents.
Children with ADHD are more prone to meltdowns for a number of reasons. Often their brain circuitry for emotional regulation is dysfunctional in which it takes less to trigger an anger episode that lasts for a longer periods of time than other children. This is the result of faulty wiring. Working with them on relaxation techniques like taking deep breaths or counting to ten at the first sign of being upset can help. It is important for them to practice these when they are calm.
These kids often aren’t fully tuned in to what is going on around them and miss important information that causes them to misinterpret a situation and then react to what they think is going on rather than what really happened. If you are having a discussion with your child, pause frequently to make sure they are getting your point. Ask questions to make sure they understand and encourage them to ask you questions as well.
Some ADHD kids lack the ability to be flexible causing them to go into meltdown mode when there is a change in routine or an expected event does not happen. For instance a boy may be having a great time “rough housing” with his dad but does not want to stop when dad feels it has gone on long enough. This can become ugly and lead to fewer such play situations. Agreeing to use a timer and stop when the timer says to stop rather than dad might help avoid this.
Here are some tips for coping with a meltdown:
1. Don’t Loose Your Cool
Take a few deep breaths. This triggers the relaxation response and will lower your own anxiety/anger level and make it possible for you to think clearly and model appropriate behavior for your child. Remember the preflight instruction, “When the mask comes down, please cover your own nose and mouth first before you assist your child.”
2. Don’t React – Respond
If you and your child have already agreed on how meltdowns will be handled with a behavior plan, make sure the plan is being followed. As an example, you might have agreed on an incentive program where your child can earn rewards for following the behavior plan. Incentives might be earning points every time he/she is able to calm down before having a meltdown. Points earned can be cashed in at the end of the day for a desired activity such as television time or a special treat.
If you do not have a plan in place then you can respond by saying “WE have a problem here. Let’s see how we can solve the problem TOGETHER.” Find out what the child’s concern is. See if there is a way to address it. It is not giving in if you modify a situation in a way that is more accepting to the child while still meeting your needs as well. Good leaders listen to the people they are leading and incorporate the feedback they receive.
3. Don’t Dictate – Discuss
Ask, “What is making you upset?” Listen carefully and respond empathetically such as “I see you (want or don’t want), what’s up?” Find out what the child is concerned about. For instance if the problem is not wanting to go to bed, you might say, “I understand you do not want to go to bed right now even though 9:00 is your usual bedtime. What is bothering you about this?” Perhaps the child says, “I need to finish my video game so I can get to the next level.” You then can say, “So here is the problem we have. I want you to go to bed because it is your bedtime and you need your sleep to feel good and do well at school and baseball tomorrow and you want to stay up later to finish your game. I am not saying you don’t have to go to be now but do you have any ideas on how we can solve this?”
For discussion let’s say it is only for a few minutes and you decide for tonight to let him finish the game to avoid an hour or more of meltdown versus a few more minutes. You might say, “Ok for tonight you can finish the game. Tomorrow we can talk about this and come up with a solution so that from now on you will be able to finish what you are doing and go to bed on time.”
It is ok for us to listen to our children’s perspective on difficult situations. If this is an isolated incidence then, problem solving could avoid a major meltdown. However, we need to follow up the next day with a detailed discussion on how this can be avoided in the future.
If this is an ongoing problem, then simply stick to the program/plan you have already set in place. If you have been working on anger management techniques such a taking deep breaths, then remind the child to practice it.
4. Don’t Demand – Encourage
If you have a prearranged plan to follow or you have come to an agreement for this crisis situation then you can say, “I know you are upset right now but I also know you can do a good job of calming down now,” or “You know what our agreement is and I bet you will do your part now just like the great job you did yesterday. I love how you are getting better at this each time.”
5. Don’t Give Up – Stay Committed
- Raising a child with any type of special need, be it developmental, psychological or medical, requires a tremendous amount of patience and strength to endure and continue to handle tough situations when they come up. Make sure you have a good support system. Be sure to have a break from time to time to do something fun and relaxing. Also, try to view the whole situation from the 30,000 foot level to see the progress you have made so far and that meltdowns now and then can just be little bumps in the road to helping your child learn to cope with the day to day events they encounter.
- If you have truly committed to following a behavioral approach under the guidance of a mental health provider and are not seeing progress, please don’t hesitate to discuss this with your child’s physician. A referral to a psychologist for a comprehensive evaluation may uncover other conditions that may need to be addressed. Sometimes ADHD may be misdiagnosed or a child can have more than one disorder which needs to be addressed.
- When talking to a professional, you should be able to tell them when and where these episodes happen and what took place just before the meltdown; these are valuable clues that a well trained clinician can use to modify your approach or discover an underlying skill deficit that can be improved or addressed.
- Sometimes, when behavioral approaches have been in place for some time and have been tweaked all they can, medication may need to be considered. Parents should be cautious about having their child placed on medication prematurely, but when symptoms are severe and interfering with a child’s ability to function in several environments then medication should be considered and can be extremely helpful.
I have 2 year girl child. Still her hair is not good condition very weak and poor number of hair appear. And her head is always keeping heat and sweating.
My 3.3 Years Son remains constipated. He does not passes stool daily. Though we offer him dalia, papaya and fruits, less milk with high sugar. On daily basis but he resist to pass stool or even sit on his potty seat. He sits there plays and get down. Because of which he is low on appetite and remains full most of the time without eating. Please advise how to deal with this? We started giving him loose syrup also 5ml twice daily still it is difficult to make him sit and concentrate to discharge stool. Dnt want to put him on too much medicine for this. Can anyone help on this please or this is a normal stage for toddlers?
Hello, my daughter is 5+ n she is having fever n boils r coming all over her body. I think she is going through chickepox. Please suggest me. To get rid of this.
Hello, my 5 month old baby suffered from uti with enterococcus bacteria. Was on iv antibiotics for 7 days. Followed by oral antibiotics. Later cephlaexin syrup 3 ml daily dose till date. Doc has asked for mcu scan. Before that we performed urine routine & culture. Urine pus cell was occasional. Bacteria nil. But culture report said significant growth of some other named bacteria. We waited 1 week to retest. 3 days back baby had fever so we ran to the doc to get him checked. Doc said its viral fever and cannot be uti again since he is on cephlexin daily dose. Still for our safety we had urine routine & culture done again. The urine routine says pus cell 3 -5. Bacteria nil. Culture report is yet to come but the prelimnary report said heavy growth of gram negative bacilli. Doc said it could be because of contamination. My question is. Why all the time different bacteria shows in the culture. Does he have uti. What could be the exact reason.
My daughter is 3.5 years old and is on feeding. My wife also wants to leave but my daughter doesn't leave pls help me to leave her feeding as all night she keeps on feeding and doesn't eat anything in evening. Pls help on the same at urgent basis.
These overly aggressive children are not bullies; they often get into fights with people who are stronger than they are. They face problems not because they are aggressive, but because they become aggressive at times that are inappropriate and in ways that are self-defeating. They routinely argue with teachers and wind up in far more than their share of schoolyard scraps.
In some cases, this pattern of easily triggered aggression appears to be rooted in the children’s developing nervous systems. They appear to be physiologically unable to control their impulses as much as other children their age. For others, it is often a matter of needing to learn and practice social skills.
Aggression is one of the first responses to frustration that a baby learns. Grabbing, biting, hitting, and pushing are especially common before children develop the verbal skills that allow them to talk in a sophisticated way about what they want and how they feel.
Coping with a Very Aggressive Child
It’s difficult for adults not to attribute malicious motives to children who consistently appear to be trying to drive their parents and teachers to distraction. Often it’s equally difficult for parents not to assume that children are behaving this way because of something the parents have done wrong or have forgotten to do right. Such casting of blame, however, is not only inaccurate but usually useless as well.
The first step in helping an overly aggressive child is to look for patterns in what triggers the assaults, especially if the child is a toddler or preschooler. The aggression may happen only at home or only in public places. It may occur mostly in the afternoon or when the child is frustrated. Also, most of these children go through a predictable sequence of behaviors before they lose control. It’s a bit like watching a car going through a normal acceleration and then suddenly kicking into overdrive.
Once you can determine the most common triggers and can spot the escalating behavior, the simplest thing is to remove the child from that environment before he loses control. Take him away from the sandbox or the playgroup for a minute or two until he regains his composure. As the child develops, he will become less frustrated and, therefore, less aggressive because he has a wider variety of ways to respond to a challenging situation.
It’s also very useful to provide these aggressive and distractible children with a lot of structure and routine in their daily lives since predictability helps children remain calm and in control. Tempting as it may be at the time, spanking these children for being aggressive often does more harm than good. It is simply modeling the very thing you don’t want children to do. It teaches them that big people hit when they’re angry or upset, and that is precisely the aggressive child’s problem.
For older children and adolescents, teaching new and more appropriate ways of getting what they want can be very helpful. These children often have not learned the skills that their classmates picked up years earlier. As with bullies, formal assertiveness training can be particularly helpful to overly aggressive children since they have difficulty distinguishing between assertiveness and aggression.
It’s also useful to help these children look at life from a slightly different perspective. Psychologists have found that both aggressive children and their parents tend to focus on what’s wrong with a situation rather than what’s right with it. That makes their respective problems all the more frustrating for each of them, since neither pays any attention to the children’s improvement when it occurs.
How to stop bed wetting in 4 years girl kid? When I will waking her at midnight that day she not doing at bed sometimes she will be doing Please give me permanent solution.
Hi My child is 9 months old recently he had developed some infection in the front end area of the penis, I am not sure if it is a external injury or internal infection. There is swelling on penis and during urination it's normal he don't cry but while external touch he is crying. Is that something I need to worry about please advise.
A fibroid tumour is made up of muscle cells that have escaped and come together to create a knot or a mass in the uterus. These tumours can occur due to a family history, and are usually known to occur for women patients nearing menopause. One of the most common symptoms is unusually heavy menstrual cycles. Let us walk you through the rest of the details.
Types: Fibroid tumours can be of three types, mainly depending on the location. While submucosal fibroids can be found just under the lining of the uterus, intramural fibroids can be found between the muscles that lie on the walls of the uterus. Finally, the third type - subserol fibroids - go beyond the uterine wall to enter the pelvic cavity.
Symptoms: Usually, there are no symptoms of these kinds of fibroids. There may be heavy bleeding during the monthly menstrual cycle, as well as swelling and pain in the abdomen. Also, prolonged bleeding is common when these kinds of tumours are present in the body.
Cause: Fibroid tumours are mostly caused due to an overgrowth of the cells beyond the muscular walls that line the uterus. In such cases, the growth is further fuelled by hormones like estrogen and progesterone. These hormones are usually at their highest level in the body, during the child bearing years of a woman. During menopause, these tumours are known to shrink before they eventually vanish. It is very rare to find malignancy in such tumours.
Risk: Are you at risk? Well, that depends on your age, family medical history, weight and in some cases, even the ethnicity. These tumours are mostly found in women who are between the age of 30 to 40 years and continues through menopause. Obesity is also a major reason that gives rise to this condition. Further, women of colour are known to develop this more easily while a family history can also increase your chances of the same.
Tests and Diagnosis: A pelvic exam and an ultrasound as well as a history of your menstrual cycle will help the doctor in determining whether or not you are suffering from this condition.
Treatment: Non steroid anti inflammatory drugs can help in bringing down the swelling and pain, especially in cases where there is heavy menstrual bleeding. Birth control pills and patches with hormones can also help in such cases. Further, progesterone shots and iron supplements may be prescribed. Very severe cases may require surgery for removal with a myomectomy.
Remember to visit your doctor in case you see any nagging symptoms of fibroid tumours. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult an Ayurveda.