Dr. Imran Khan

One of the major sexual complaints both men and women would have is that the act does not last long. For most of them, there is a constant (sometimes untold) wish to prolong their contribution to the sexual act. The male often feels this more strongly than the females. The length of the sexual act often is decided by the males (in general). However, there are a number of males with an undisclosed problem of premature ejaculation. While there could be underlying medical problems that could be contributing to this, very often, it is not the case. There are very simple measures which are proven to be highly effective in making sex last longer. Read on to know more.

1. Eat right: While it may not be very evident, it is very important to eat right. Eat natural, wholesome, healthy foods which boost serotonin levels in the brain. This improves the psychological well-being and makes one feel good. Needless to say, that does reduce stress and lead to good sex. Eggs which contain cholesterol increase the amount of testosterone and improve performance.

2. Smoking: Quit smoking, as it is one of the main causes of premature ejaculation, which kills the whole act. Abstain from smoking and see the difference for yourself, though this is not the only change you will see.

3. Kegel exercises: One of the best ways to make sex last longer is the Kegel exercise, which allows a man to control the contractions of the penis. This can be done anytime anywhere. Start practice by contracting and releasing the pelvic floor muscles (which are the muscles used to stop the flow of urine halfway through). As you near ejaculation, try this exercise and ejaculation would be controlled. Controlling these muscles are useful in delaying ejaculation and prolonging the duration of sex.

4. Breathing during sex: While sex is portrayed as making one go breathless, learning to breathe during the act can go a long way. Focusing on breathing and the actual sensation improves performance and satisfaction levels.

5. Masturbation: This is a double-edged sword. For some men, it can reduce the sensation in the penile tip and so help prolong the act. For some others, it might kill the desire and make them not want the act. Try and see if it works for you.

6. Desensitizing the penis: An extra-sensitive tip often leads to premature ejaculation, reducing the duration of the sexual act. Condoms and/or desensitising creams can help manage this problem.

Medical conditions: If you have medical conditions causing this, have these checked and corrected.

Also, don’t fret too much. In many instances, performance anxiety is the most important contributor, and not worrying about it sometimes becomes the solution.

The penile size gets enlarged with arousal or with any desire or thought related to intercourse. A set of spongy tissues of the muscle corpora cavernosa gets relaxed and enlarged so as to accommodate the increased blood flow towards the penis with every sexual arousal. Similarly, there are group of muscles that help to withhold the blood from moving away from penis thus, it maintains the state of erection for satisfactory sexual activity. These are the physiological process involved with erection of penis in normal healthy men.

Any disturbances or interruption in this normal process leads to failure of erection with sexual arousal or desire or inability to sustain the erection for a long period of time. This condition is called as erectile dysfunction. One in five men faces this problem in their life. There are several factors that are responsible for causing erectile dysfunction. They include neurogenic cause, psychological cause, drug induced, vascular and combination of several other factors.

1. Neurogenic cause: Neurological problems like Parkinson’s disease, stroke, head injury and Alzheimer’s disease can lead to the development of erectile dysfunction. These diseases may cause disturbance to the initiation or transmission of the nerve impulses that are responsible for the erection.
2. Psychological causes: Psychological factor acts as a major cause for most of the sexual disorders or dysfunction for both male and females. And factors responsible for causing erectile dysfunction are excessive work stress, unresolved relationship issues, performance anxiety, lack of love and understanding between the partners, suppressed feelings and emotions, childhood sex abuse, previous misconception or negative failure past sexual experiences. These psychological factors are responsible for causing psychogenic erectile dysfunction.
3. Drug induced: Heroin, cocaine, amphetamines and cannabis are harmful drugs that may lead to the development of erectile dysfunction. There are also few drugs which interfere with the regulation of certain hormones that are responsible for the sexual activity.
4. Vascular cause of erectile dysfunction: Systemic diseases like diabetes, hypertension and hyperlipidemia can cause damage to the blood vessel and impairs the blood flow in our body. This may also cause decreased blood flow to the penis and may lead to erectile dysfunction.

A sexual dysfunction, refers to a problem during any phase of the sexual response cycle that prevents the man or couple from experiencing satisfaction from the activity. Most cases of sexual dysfunction are treatable, so it is important to share your concerns with your partner and doctor.

As much as we would like to ignore it, domestic abuse is a very common problem. Not every woman has the strength to fight against it and confide in someone. As a friend, it is your duty to look out for them. You don’t have to be an expert in psychology to know the warning signs of domestic violence. Here are 8 such warning signs.

1. She is quiet when he is around: If your friend is normally jovial and suddenly becomes quiet the moment her partner is around, don’t overlook the change. She may be scared of saying something that might upset him and start a fight.
2. She allows herself to be put down: In almost all cases of domestic violence, the woman is made to feel guilty about everything. This becomes habit and she loses her will to fight back. If you notice you’re friend allowing her partner to walk over her and put her down, she may be facing abuse at home.
3. She withdraws from friends and family: Social withdrawal is another major sign of domestic violence. There may be a number of reasons for this; he is too possessive of her, she is injured and scared of letting people see her injuries etc.
4. Unexplained injuries: Making an excuse that walking into a door caused a black eye isn’t only a scene from the movies. If your friend suddenly starts wearing inappropriate clothes such as long sleeved tops in summer, she may be a victim of domestic abuse. Look out for such excuses and injuries.
5. Plans that are frequently cancelled at the last moment: Victims of domestic abuse often make plans, but never keep them. This could be because their partner does not like them going out without them or because she is injured and doesn’t want you to see her injuries.
6. She has casually mentioned violent behavior, but dismissed it lightly: Casually mentioning violent behavior at home could be your friend’s way of trying to tell you that something is wrong. We fear being judged and hence it is sometimes very difficult to speak openly about facing domestic abuse. If you feel a friend is being domestically abused, encourage her to share her problems with you.
7. Her finances and personal choices are not controlled by her: Domestic abuse victims usually have most of their lives controlled by their partners. This includes finances, choice of clothing, social attendance etc.
8. The children seem nervous and frequently upset: Children may not say much, but notice a lot. Even if they are not abused, seeing their mother hurt can affect a child and make them moody, withdrawn and upset.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

How to last long in bed?
Lack of control over ejaculation or ejaculation occurring too early is called as premature ejaculation. Psychological factors act as the major cause. There are two types of premature ejaculation. Lifelong premature ejaculation and acquired premature ejaculation. Lifelong premature ejaculation noted in teenagers who try first sexual contact and involves deeper psychological causes. Acquired premature ejaculation occurs in later stages of life which may involve both physical and psychological cause.

Ways to control ejaculation

1. Try to reduce anxiety: Understand that your partner gets more satisfied with extended period of orgasm and your anxiety is going to be a great hindrance for this pleasure. Once you analyse yourself and realize the dissatisfaction and disappointment that your anxiety gives to both you and your partner, the ways to overcome it naturally comes into strike. If not don’t hesitate to seek assistance from sexual health care advisers to overcome the battle.
2. Avoid too much of sexual thoughts: If your mind gets occupied with too much of sexual thought always try to divert yourself with your favourite sport or activity that you’re much interested. Give a short break of 5 to 10 minutes before you feel to ejaculate.
3. Change position: Try position like allowing your partner on you and side by side position as this may cause fewer stimuli to your penis and may delay the ejaculation. Avoid rear entry and missionary position as these are very active and may still activate your ejaculation faster.
4. Make yourself slow: Activity level of the orgasm stage changes with every individual. It is much essential for the male to sense their emotions and the physiological stages of sexual changes that their body undergo. Slowing down during the orgasm stage or a matured control of the orgasm helps a lot for occurrence of premature ejaculation. Make sure you also don’t drop the sexual desire of your partner and engage her emotions with the act of foreplay.
5. Concentrate much on foreplay: Premature ejaculation may cause depression and dissatisfaction to your partner and even yourself. So it will be much better if you focus much on foreplay and it will be also better if you develop the practice of foreplay in between the orgasm.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!