Ms. Anu Goel

Hi!

I am Mrs. Anu Goel, counseling psychologist. I work with relationships, family therapy and I do counselling for students, children, adults but majorly I like to work with adults. Aaj kal mene observe kia hai ki divorce rate bhut badh rha hai. Iska reason bhut chota hota hai. But iski vajhah se divorce ya separation ho jata hai. Jis se hamari puri family suffer kerti hai. To me apse kuch points discuss karungi jo divorce ka reason hai.

1st hai communication gap. Aap apni family, bachon and work me itne jyada busy ho jate hain ki aap communication ek dusre ke sath bhul jate hain. Har relationship me sharing bhut important hai. Agar aap share nhi krenge to apke relation me gap aa jayega. Aap apne relation me openly discussion kren. Agar aap technology use kr ke like msg ke through or what's app ke through to aap apne spouse se share kar skte hain. Open communication like friends is very important for any relation. 2ns issue hai financial problems.

Aaj kal ke modern time me apko sab kuch btana chaiye. Apko financially problems openly discuss krni chaiye. Kisi bhi problem ke lia discussion bhut important hai. 3rd problem hai apki sexual life. Har kisi ka apna libido hota hai. bhut sare break-ups ka reason hi sexual life hai. Agar apki intimacy khatam ho jati hai to misunderstanding hone lgti hai. It is important to discuss about your sexual life with your spouse. Jo apko pasand hai vo discuss kriye. 4th hai lack or caring. It is important ki aap ek dusre ko bataye jo aap feel krte hain. Choti choti chizen kariye taki apke spouse ko lage ki aap uski care kerte hain. 5th is time problem. All of us are running. And hume time nhi milta ek dusre ke lia. Thoda time nikal ke ek dusre ki baat sunna bhut important hai. Ek dusre ko ignore na kren. Agar apko kis chiz ka addiction hai like alcohol, drugs, mobile or laptop addiction, game addiction or koi bhi addiction hai, use control krna important hai. Take your spouse to a psychologist for a help. Another problem is expectations.

We expect a lot from the other person. Hume khud ko update kerna hai and khud ko khush rekhna hai. Hum khushi chahte hain ki mera spouse mujhe khush rakhe lekin hum khud andar se khush nahi hai. Lekin agar aap khush nahi hai to dusra aadmi apko khush nahi kar skta. Apko har choti chiz me khud hi khushi dhundani hai. Agar aap khush rhenge to apse juda har insan khush rahega. Lekin in sab ko follow kerne ke baad bhi apko problem ho rahi hai to wait mat kariye or starting me hi psychologist se contact kriye. Problem ko solve kriye taki vo problem badi na ho. Kuch log tab contact krte hain jab unke spouse ka affair start ho jata hai. Aise time pe effort jyada dalna padta hai chizon ko solve krne ke lia. Starting me hi agar aap help lenge to apko koi bhi problem major nhi lgegi. Choti choti chizon me khush rhen or expectations kam keren. Is se aap khush hoke jee sakte hain. You can always visit a psychologist. 

Thank You.

Anger is a very negative emotion and can be the underlying cause of many relationships falling apart. There are people who cannot manage their anger completely and express it by yelling, throwing things, or even physically harming others. While anger is a natural emotion, it is important to control it else it can even harm one’s own health.

Research has proven that every emotion is associated with a chemical reaction in the brain. While happiness produces certain chemicals, anger produces another set, leading to a different impact on health. Therefore, it is essential to learn to control anger, so that the negative reactions can be controlled. The following are some simple but effective ways to manage your temper:

1. Take a pause: It is a known fact that what is said in the heat of the moment can be very damaging. The person’s response may be completely different if they speak after a while. Some people even would ask if it was indeed them who spoke or did that. Therefore, learn to count to ten or take deep breaths when you know you are angry. This can help you gather your thoughts and respond more aptly.
2. Be assertive: Learn to respond without sounding argumentative, at the same time being assertive. Do not try to control others when trying to make your point.
3. Regular timeout: For some people, there are periods of the day which prove to be more stressful than the others. Even a simple walk for 10 to 15 minutes can improve your oxygen intake and aid in anger management.
4. Nurture your sense of humor: While not all would have it, it is definitely possible to look at the funny side of things. This definitely helps in not just easing the stress and reducing tension for all, but also reduces the anger you feel towards a particular situation or person.
5. Relaxation techniques: Be it meditation or yoga, these help you relax by focusing on the breathing. Even exercise, writing poems or stories, singing songs, or listening to music can help in reducing stress and controlling anger.
6. Professional help: While it may sound a bit too far-fetched, it is not. If the above self-help measures do not help in managing your anger, and you realize it is taking a toll on your health and/or relationships, seek professional help. With changing life situations, anger management has become a separate area in itself, and with some help, you could greatly change your quality of life.
7. Rewards: Reward yourself each time you control your anger and respond in a calmer manner. Over a period of time, this induced habit will become your normal response.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

A suicidal patient will not ask for help, but that doesn’t mean that he/she doesn’t need it. People who become suicidal do not necessarily want to end their lives, they just want their sufferings to end. You can prevent suicide by recognizing the warning signs and by taking necessary actions. If you think a friend or a family member is undergoing too much stress and suffering and is considering suicide, please talk to him/her. You may feel scared to bring up the subject but talking to them about their suicidal thoughts and feelings is the only way to help them.

When you see or know someone in pain who wants to end their life, follow these steps to help them get through their suicidal thoughts.

1. Talk, talk and talk: Let the person know you care about him/her and that they aren’t alone. Listen to what they want to share and help them vent their feelings and anger. Be sympathetic, calm and non-judgmental while listening to their feelings. Offer hope by reassuring the person that help is available, and these feelings are temporary. Let them know the importance of their life to you and to their family and friends.
2. Get professional help: Do everything you can to get help for a suicidal person. Call an emergency mental help facility for advice and referrals. Encourage the person to seek professional aid and visit a mental health counsellor. Help locate a good psychiatrist or make the doctor’s appointment for them.
3. Follow-up: Make note of what the doctor prescribes - be it medications or just therapy. Make sure the suicidal person is following the instructions given and taking the medicines on time. Know the side effects of the medicines and notify the doctor in case the person gets worse. It takes time and persistence to find the right treatment plan for every suicidal person.
4. Be proactive: The person contemplating suicide often feels they cannot be helped. So, you need to be more proactive in offering help. Drop by every alternate day and call daily to check on them. Just don’t stop at saying, “call me if you need anything," as it sounds too vague and it’s very likely that the person will not bother calling.
5. Positive affirmations: Maintain a positive atmosphere around the suicidal person. Encourage them with positive affirmations and healthy lifestyle changes to keep them healthy and happy. Ensure that a healthy diet, 30 minutes of exercise and plenty of sleep forms part of their day. Daily exercise is important as exercising releases endorphins which are happy hormones that help relieve stress and promote emotional well-being.
6. Plan: Make the person develop a set of steps that they should follow during their suicidal crisis. Help them identify their trigger that leads to the suicidal crisis such as the anniversary of a loss, alcohol or stress due to work or love relationships. Include contact numbers of the therapist, as well as close friends and family members along with yours who will be there in case of an emergency.
7. Continue your support long-term: Even after the immediate suicidal tendency has passed, stay in touch with the person and periodically keep checking on them. Your support is necessary to ensure their well-being and that they remain on the track to recovery.

There are times when you may fail despite following all these steps. Do not blame yourself. You did the right thing by helping the suicidal person. Just follow the above steps and try to help as many people as possible.
Mental well-being is the most important and needed state in order to be healthy. Stay happy, stay healthy! In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

There are many reasons as to why a person may feel lonely. Loneliness is different from being alone as one can feel lonely even when surrounded by people. This is a complex emotional and mental phenomenon that everyone experiences at some point of time in their lives.

 Here are a few tips to help you cope with loneliness.

1. Recognize that it is only a feeling: Loneliness is not a fact that you are isolated or have no one on your side. This is only a feeling and will pass like every other feeling. Accepting this can keep you from overreacting and blowing the issue out of proportion.
2. Reach out: Feeling lonely can make a person withdraw into himself or herself. This does not help. Instead, you must reach out to someone. Remember, no one can read your mind and unless you speak up, nobody will be able to help you.
3. Join a group: Group activities are great when you are feeling lonely. This can make you feel involved with other people without putting you in the spotlight. Group activities could take the form of a gym class, art class, meditation etc.
4. Focus on the needs of others: Thinking about other people will give you less mental space to dwell on your own loneliness. Smiling at other people and wishing them well can help lessen your own mental burden.
5. Find good friends: People who feel lonely find it hard to open up to people but it is essential to find people who you share something in common with. Be honest and frank with your friends.
6. Be persistent: It can take time to find people you get along with. It is important not to give up during this process and to persevere in finding people and groups where you can fit in.
7. Keep yourself busy: The less time you have to think about your loneliness, the less you will feel lonely. Find a new hobby that keeps you busy. This could be something you do by yourself like gardening or a group activity such as choir singing or yoga.
8. Exercise: Exercise is good not only for your physical health but also for your mental health. Start your morning with a run or yoga to feel energized. Exercising can also be a way of meeting new people.
9. Get a pet: Pets are great ways to combat loneliness. A pet dog or a cat will give you unconditional love without expecting anything in return as long as you care for him or her.
10. Eat right: Unhealthy food habits could also contribute to loneliness. Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables to boost your immune system and amp up the production of happy hormones.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

An irrational or excessive fear of anything can be classified as a phobia. Phobias can often interfere with a person’s daily life and create hindrances where there aren’t any. Unlike anxiety disorders, phobias are triggered by specific stimuli. This could be caused by environmental factors, genetics, traumatic events etc. depression and substance abuse could also contribute towards phobias. Life events are also a common cause of phobias.

For example, being bitten by a dog at a young age could make a person scared of animals even when he or she is an adult. The most common types of phobias are:

1. Agoraphobia: This can be described a fear of open spaces. People suffering from Agoraphobia fear being trapped in a situation and of large crowds. In extreme cases, this fear can confine a person to his or her home.
2. Social phobia: Some people may be very afraid of simple interactions with other people. Simple tasks such as answering the phone or placing an order at a restaurant can spike panic attacks. This can very often lead to social withdrawal.
3. Glossophobia: This can be described as performance anxiety or the fear of speaking out in a crowd. This may also be referred to as stage fright. People suffering from this phobia may begin to show physical signs of being uncomfortable when they are put in the spotlight.
4. Acrophobia: This refers to a fear of heights. People suffering from this phobia may be unable to even look down from a window on the first floor of a building. The common symptoms of this phobia include sweating, dizziness, vertigo and loss of consciousness when looking down from a height.
5. Claustrophobia: People suffering from Claustrophobia have a fear of small spaces. Any space this is enclosed or tight can feel suffocating to them. This may prevent them from rising in a taxi or a metro or even taking the elevator.
6. Hemophobia: Some people are more afraid of blood as compared to others. This is known as Hemophobia. In such cases, the patient may be affected by the sight of their own blood as well as another person’s blood. Hemophobia patients may often faint at the sight of blood or an injury.
7. Aviophobia: The fear of flying is known as Aviophobia. People with this phobia are unable to sit in an aircraft as they are scared of something going wrong.

Phobias may also be present in combinations. For example, a person suffering from Claustrophobia may also have a fear of heights. The only way to combat these phobias is with counselling and professional help.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!