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When a person has been through difficult times like abuse, anger, fear, anxiety, alcoholism etc. In their lives, Often their mind starts having frequent negative thoughts and images which might say that “this the way life is and i cannot ever succeed in life and be happy”. The truth is that everyone has positive and negative thoughts as its normal. But some people tend to believe them as the universal truth and don’t see beyond the limiting nature of these thoughts. Such people will be fearful to make any changes in their life and often feel stuck in situations. They may experience an overwhelming amount of confusion and anxiety, which can be very detrimental in their wish to lead a satisfying and meaningful life.
For the person with social anxiety disorder (SAD), a social or performance situation may elicit thoughts such as "everyone can see how anxious I am" or "everyone is judging me". These thoughts often occur so automatically that the person is not aware of his pessimistic thinking.
People who are clinically depressed may experience bad thoughts more intensely, and view them as evidence that they are worthless or sinful people. The suicidal thoughts that are common in depression must be distinguished from negative thoughts, because suicidal thoughts can be dangerous.People who are depressed typically think in a biased, negative way. They have negative views of themselves (e.g. `I'm no good'), the world (e.g. `Life has no meaning') and the future (e.g. `I will always feel this way')
Negative thoughts like these have several characteristics. They are:
1. Automatic: they just pop into your head without any effort on your part;
2. Distorted: they do not fit all of the facts;
3. Unhelpful: they keep you depressed, make it difficult to change, and stop you from getting what you want out of life;
4. Plausible: you accept them as facts, and it does not occur to you to question them;
5. Involuntary: you do not choose to have them, and they can be very difficult to switch off.
Thoughts like these can trap you in a vicious circle. The more depressed you become, the more negative thoughts you have, and the more you believe them. The more negative thoughts you have, and the more you believe them, the more depressed you become. The main goal of cognitive therapy in counselling is to help you to break out of this vicious circle.
BECOMING AWARE OF YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
The first step in overcoming negative thinking is to become aware of your thoughts, and of their effects on you. Negative thoughts make you feel bad - anxious, sad, depressed, hopeless, guilty, angry. Instead of being overwhelmed by these feelings, you can learn to use them as a cue for action. Notice when your mood changes for the worse, and look back at what was running through your mind at that moment. Over the course of a few days, you will become more sensitive to changes in your feelings, and to the thoughts that spark them off. You may well find that the same thoughts occur again and again, because negative thoughts are repetitive in nature.
TYPES OF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
1.MENTAL FILTER: When we notice only what the filter allows us to notice, and we dismiss anything that doesn’t ‘fit’. Like looking through dark glasses and saying that everything is dark and gloomy, not seeing that its actually sunny without the glasses on. Anything, which is more positive or realistic is sieved, ignored, dismissed or we make excuses for. Eg. A change in job means more problems.
2.MIND READING: We assume what the others are thinking about us and decide that they see us as a dumb and stupid person. Eg. My boss thinks that I am not capable
3.PREDICTION: believing that we know exactly what is going to happen in the future. Eg. I am going to fail this test.
4.COMPARE AND DESPAIR: We tend to see only the positive aspects of other people and in comparison, we see only the negative aspects of ourselves. Eg. My colleagues are so knowledgeable and skilled, whereas I have just started my career. Surely, the boss will favour them!
5.CRITICAL SELF: Putting ourselves down, blaming ourselves for situations and events that are not totally our responsibility. Eg. My son failed because I didn’t sit down with him to teach him.
6.SHOULDS AND MUSTS: Thinking or saying “I should”, “I must” puts a lot of undue pressure on us, setting us up for unrealistic expectations from self or others and may not be in touch with reality. Eg. I must always agree to what my father tells me to do.
7.CATASTROPHISING: Imagining that only the worst can ever happen if something doesn’t go our way. Eg. If I lose this job, then I will never get another good job.
8.EMOTIONAL REASONING: Sometimes, we tend to get swayed by our emotions and take decisions based on them, not realising that the emotional reaction is not in scale with the reality. Eg. If I am feeling bad, then it must be really bad. Or if I am feeling anxious, then I must be in danger.
9.MOUNTAINS AND MOLEHILLS: maximising the negatives or minimising the positives in any situation. Eg. The last time I went to the toilet, i slipped and fell... I will slip and fall every time I will go to any toilet.
10.JUDGEMENTS AND EVALUATIONS: Making judgements about events, ourselves, others, or the world, rather than describing what we actually see and have evidence for. Eg. My friends are always critical of the way I look and behave. They have never liked me for anything.
11. BLACK AND WHITE THINKING: believing that something or someone can only be good or bad, right or wrong rather than seeing anything in-between or “shades of gray”. Eg. My husband has never taken care of me and he’s always listening to his mother.
12.MEMORIES OF THE PAST: based on the experiences of the past, which were traumatic, we decide that we are in danger in the present, causing distress in the present. Eg. My boyfriend cheated on me, now I will never date again...all boys are like that.
Don't despair, if you find that you have many of these thinking patterns. Most of us have them. Remember, that these are just thoughts and they can be managed. By being observant, we can learn to challenge them and create more optimistic and helpful styles of thinking, which will elevate our mood and reduce stress and anxiety.
Counselling is a safe space where you can discover your negative thoughts, challenge them and modify them to suit your current needs and environment. This can help you to get more out of your life making you feel more in control, accomplished and satisfied.
Feel free to message me on personal chat for any questions and appointments. I do face to face and skype sessions too.
Knee pain is something that can affect anyone - irrespective of their age. While sometimes it may be of minor importance - and can easily be handled by self-care, often, lingering pain is a manifestation of some other serious underlying problem, such as arthritis. In this case, it is imperative that you consult a doctor and take appropriate measures to combat it.
Arthritis: The chief cause of lingering knee pain, arthritis itself can be of a number of types:
- Osteoarthritis, which is a result of deterioration of cartilages due to wear and tear
- Rheumatoid Arthritis, an inflammatory chronic disorder
- Septic Arthritis, causing pain, swelling and redness.
- Gout caused due to the development of uric acid crystals in the joints
Fractures: These are caused by the breaking up of the kneecap due to falls or collisions.
ACL Injuries: Caused due to the tearing of the anterior cruciate ligament (that connects the femur and the shinbone). Especially common in sportspersons such as footballers or basketball players.
Meniscus tears: The meniscus or the rubber-like cartilage (that acts as a shock absorber) can be torn by sudden jerks or excess pressure.
Symptoms:The major symptoms of knee pain include weakness, redness, instability, stiffness or the inability to properly straighten or move the leg. Often, a deformity is also visible, such as a bone sticking out of the leg - in which case it is advisable to consult a doctor immediately.
- Possible risks: Factors which include the odds of being inflicted by knee pain and cause serious complications include :
- Being overweight: This exponentially increases the stress or pressure that is applied on the knee joints - even in doing mundane tasks like walking up and down stairs.
- Excessive physical activity: Some activities, such as sports apply excess stress on the knees as compared to other tasks.
- Loss of muscle flexibility: Tightness or weakness in muscles causes increasing number of problems in the knees.
Related Tip: Causes and Symptoms of Knee Pain?
Cholesterol control: As mentioned above, the good balance of fatty acids contained in soybean oil means that the body can get the important and necessary fatty acids in their diet, including those which regulate cholesterol levels. Omega-3 fatty acids can reduce dangerous cholesterol levels and counteract the negative types. Furthermore, the other fatty acids like stearic acid, palmitic acid, and oleic acid are also found in balanced quantities. The fatty acid composition of soybean oil, as well as the powerful plant sterols, such as β-sitosterol can actually cause a reduction in cholesterol storage in the gut by 10-15% – not what you normally expect to hear from a “fatty” acid! Basically, soybean oil can seriously decrease you chance of atherosclerosis and other heart conditions, such as heart attacks and strokes.
Cognitive impact: Alzheimer’s disease is a terrible affliction that affects millions of people around the world. It results in the cognitive deterioration of a person’s brain as neural connection fail and die, thereby making everything from remembering the past to performing simple tasks a challenge. However, soybean oil has an impressively high level of vitamin k, which has been consistently connected with improving the symptoms of alzheimer’s, and even reversing the effects in some cases. The vitamin k acts as an antioxidant against free radicals, keeping them from damaging the neural cells.
Bone health: Another important function of vitamin k is its osteotrophic potential, which means that it can stimulate the regrowth or increased healing of bone. While this is often associated with calcium, vitamin k, of which soybeans has a lot, can also stimulate bone development in a very positive way, so make sure to switch to soybean oil if you want to prevent certain conditions like osteoporosis, which is often a natural result of the aging process.
Eye and skin health: Omega-3 fatty acids, which make up 7% of the total fatty acid content in soybean oil, are integral to protecting the cardiovascular system in the role of scraping our “bad” cholesterol, but it also protects cell membranes. This includes the very fragile and dangerous areas of the skin and eyes, both of which are common entrance points for bacteria and other foreign materials. These omega-3s also promote healthier vision by acting as antioxidants and neutralizing free radicals that can cause macular degeneration and cataracts.
Antioxidant potential: The high vitamin e content in soybean oil also acts as a powerful antioxidant while similarly protecting the skin from the damage of fre radicals. Vitamin e is directly associated with improving the appearance of blemishes, reducing acne scarring, protecting the skin against sunburn, and stimulating the regrowth of new skin cells to promote healing. Vitamin e is also associated with general antioxidant activity in the rest of the body, which boosts the immune system and helps to eliminate free radicals that cause certain conditions like cancer, premature aging, cognitive disorders and heart diseases.
A final word of caution: Remember, it may be a healthier form of vegetable oil, but it is still somewhat high in omega-6 fatty acids. Although this is “essential”, it is still a problem if it is not evenly balanced with more foods with omega-3 fatty acid content. There are still calories involved if you are worried about obesity. Furthermore, soybeans are closely related to peanuts, so with the increasing numbers of peanut allergies around the world, be careful about anyone with peanut allergies before cooking with soybean oil. Besides that, enjoy and happy cooking!