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While it is true that all our egos need some boosting from time to time, constantly nursing it to feel too proud about oneself and being too self-indulgent does not help. In plain words, that is what a narcissist does. The term finds its roots in Greek mythology where Narcissus was so absorbed with himself. This gradually got converted to Narcissism to indicate people (who, like him) became too self-obsessed.
By definition, it is applied to people who have a long-term pattern of grandiosity above themselves, either in fantasy or in actual behaviour. They constantly seek admiration, are too self-indulgent, and have a great degree of apathy towards almost everybody else.
The following are some traits that are usually found in people with this personality.
- They are preoccupied with fantasies where they see themselves with unlimited power, beauty, success, and brilliance.
- Have a false perception of superiority and do not associate with most people
- Completely lack apathy and do not usually connect with the feelings of people around them
- Have a grandiose opinion about themselves and think they are super-important in the lives of everybody around them
- Expect appreciation and praise, even if not worthy of it
- Think of themselves as special and unique
- Are considered arrogant and haughty by most people who associate with them
- Constantly seeks admiration and compliments
- Prone to exploiting relationships
- Enjoy flattery
- Inability to accept even small rejections
- Inability to take criticism
- Deep hidden feeling of insecurity and low self-esteem
- Can be very defensive and try to prove their point
- Fear of humiliation
- Very vulnerable, especially to rejections, humiliations
- Get enraged without specific reason to feel better and put down the other person
- If someone contradicts their view point, there could be major argument and even physical assault
- A combination of these features usually causes problems in relationships and friendships and affects their overall personal and professional lives. It is more common in males, and tends to decrease with age.
While initially narcissist may come across as extremely confident personalities, slowly it comes across as much more than that. While they do feel confident, at times, the confidence may not be true. It is just that feeling of self-importance which makes them to believe that what they are doing is right.
Causes: While there is no single cause leading to someone developing this personality, a combination of genetic, social, and psychological factors leads to this condition. Excessive pampering and/or criticism also can lead to this.
Treatment: This usually requires long-term counselling with people who are trained in handling such cases. They need to become less self-indulgent and more empathetic towards others, which takes time, but is not impossible. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Psychiatrist.
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Craving the objects of their satisfaction, the senses take control of the mind and intelligence, leading to frustration and anger when their impossible demands go unmet.
From this anger, delusion arises, and from delusion, bewilderment of memory. When memory is bewildered, human intelligence is lost, leaving one in a hell of irrational behavior.
As fever is a symptom of some disease in the body, anger is a symptom of ongoing material hankerings.
Just as treating fever alone will not cure the disease, treating anger without understanding it to be a symptom of lust will not extinguish the unwanted behavior.
To conquer anger, we must first ask how we shall conquer lust.