Dr. Manjula Sharma

Not everyone can conceive a baby easily. The inability to conceive a baby despite having intercourse during the fertile window in a woman’s menstrual cycle for over a year is termed as infertility. Infertility does not affect only the physical health of a woman, but also her mental and emotional well-being as well as the couple’s social health.

In some cases, infertility can be treated with Ayurveda. According to Ayurveda, a couple needs to be both physically and mentally strong and healthy. Ayurveda believes that a lack of nutrition in the shukra dhatu or the person’s reproductive tissue is the cause of infertility. This can be triggered by indigestion, anxiety, depression, insomnia and the presence of toxins in the body. Some of the ways Ayurveda can be used to treat infertility are as follows:

1. Eat cool foods: Spicy food can affect the quality of shukra dhatu and lower the quality and quantity of both sperm and ovum. This is because shukra dhatu requires a cool environment to promote fertility. Hence, eat food that is easy to digest and which has a cooling effect on the body. Men can benefit from foods like asparagus, dates and almonds, while foods like quinoa and pineapples can help a woman conceive easily.
2. Shirodhara therapy: Shirodhara involves the movement of liquid over the forehead in a rhythmic manner at specific points. This stimulates the hypothalamus, pituitary and pineal glands and aids in the secretion of hormones including follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH). When it comes to women, FSH stimulates the ovarian follicles into releasing an egg without which it would be impossible to conceive a child.
3. Fight stress: One of the effects of stress is reduced libido. Prolonged exposure to stress is often a major factor that contributes to infertility. When it comes to women, stress makes a woman ovulate less regularly. In men, stress can affect the sperm production and affect testosterone levels. To fight stress, try deep breathing exercises like alom vilom or keep a little time aside each morning for a walk or light exercise.
4. Lodhra: This herb is very beneficial in treating women with infertility. It stimulates FSH and luteinising hormones (LH) and lowers the risk of a miscarriage. It also increases chances of conception. Lodhra should be taken twice a day along with honey and milk.
5. Lifestyle changes: Ayurveda is not only about herbal medicines but also following the right lifestyle. Bad habits like smoking, drug usage and alcohol not only affect a person’s overall health but also interfere with fertility. Hence, when trying to conceive a child, quit these bad habits and try following a healthier lifestyle that involves following a routine, eating right and exercising regularly. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult an ayurveda.

Marriage is perhaps the most important relation in an adult’s life. That’s why it needs extra care and attention, especially when things are not exactly gung ho. This is where marriage or marital therapy comes in.

Marriage counseling is the process of counseling the married couple to recognize and to reconcile or at least manage differences and repeating patterns of stress upon the marital relationship.

Basic practices of marital therapy

1. The basic practices of marital therapy focus primarily on the process of communicating. Counselors use a method called active listening.
2. Another method used is called “Cinematic immersion”. Both these methods have one important thing in common- they help counselors create a safe environment where each partner can express feelings and hear the feelings of the other.
3. Emotionally focused therapy for couples or EFT-C is also used. This is based on attachment theory and uses emotion as an agent of change and target, both.
4. Behavioral couples’ therapy is another method used. It is actually a proven way out of marital discord. This method focuses on integrating the twin goals of acceptance and change for couples in therapy.

The successful couples usually make concrete changes to accommodate the needs of the partner and also show greater emotional acceptance of the other.

Role of the relationship counselor
A couple therapist is usually someone with a degree in psychiatry or counseling. And her primary role is to listen, understand and facilitate better communication between the couple. The counselor also:

1. Provides a confidential tete-a tete, which normalizes feelings
2. Enables each partner to be heard and to hear themselves
3. Works as a mirror to reflect the marriage’s difficulties to the partners
4. Outlines the potential and direction for change
5. Delivers important information
6. Improves communication
7. Identifies the repetitive, negative interaction cycle that drives a problematic marriage as a pattern
8. Understands the source of emotions behind that negative pattern
9. Re-organizes these key emotional responses to offset the pattern
10. Creates new patterns of interaction
11. Increases emotional attachment between partners

When should you seek marital therapy?

1. When you avoid communicating or your communication has become negative- This usually means bad language, verbal abuse, and sometimes physical abuse.
2. When you or your partner have sought out other sexual partners – Marital therapy can save a marriage after an affair if both partners want and work out the kinks in their relationship.
3. Lack of intimacy in the marriage- This is the stage when partners just occupy the same space without communication, or exchange of feelings or touch.

Marriage counseling is a long process. And another thing to remember is that it can’t save a marriage that is unsalvageable. So, go in for marital therapy with an aim to do what’s the best for you and your partner. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a psychologist.