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8 reasons why workaholics have dysfunctional relationships
It's good to work hard but is it ok to be a workaholic?
Relationships and career both require a lot of time, focus, and energy to be successful. But sometimes your career gets so demanding that it takes all your energy and effort and your personal life gets totally ignored and unattended
Sometimes your relationships start in a very balanced state. But as you start thriving in your profession, things start getting difficult on the personal front.
There are a lot of reasons why people who are obsessed with their work (especially business owners) because of which they fail to keep up with their personal relationships.
Here are a few of them:
1. They take everything as a project, even their personal lives. They are always on a mission and take everything as an assignment. What they don't realize is that in their personal relationships they are dealing with people, who have emotions and feelings.
2. They are so used to seeing the profit and loss graph that even in their personal life, they sometimes start measuring the returns of their time and emotional investments.
What doesn't strike them is that one can never calculate or quantify their personal life.
3. Being highly accomplished at work requires a lot of discipline and focus. They obviously have to be a master at organizing their day. And sometimes it gets difficult for their partner to catch up with it and adjust to their highly personalized schedule.
4. As they climb the ladder of success, their ego starts to accompany it too. Big achievers usually have big egos. They are used to seeing themselves as the top honcho. So it gets difficult for them to pay heed to the needs of the other person.
5. They are addicted to work. They prioritize work over everything else in their lives. They have an intense focus on work and they totally ignore the other spheres of their lives.
6. A lot of times they justify their disregard of the emotional needs of their partner by emphasizing that they are giving their spouse or partner a higher financial and social status (better lifestyle etc.).
7. They feel that the gifts and presents can replace and make up for the quality time they need to spend with their partner.
8. Long stretches of time spent at work leads to a disconnect with their partner. It further leads to lack of communication, leaving her lonely and frustrated.
Don't let your professional success come at the cost of your personal relationships. Though it's hard to do but you need to find a balance between your work and family life.
Don't ignore the needs and feelings of your partner as this will only lead to personal strife and will also adversely affect your productivity at work
I love someone my love is one sided is there any way to get rid of the pain inside I am facing of not getting her in my life?
Hello. My dad was in service for past 20 years. He was posted out of town. He had a bypass surgery last year. He almost recovered from it but after that he has been very depressed. Not only because of the surgery he had gone through but because he couldn't join back his office. The place where he was posted isn't worth living. It's a small town with no proper utilities. So he has been on medical leave after the surgery. He was used to living a fast speed life earlier and now he's just sitting home doing nothing. And He's very impatient. We Consulted many doctors. I know that this is all psychological. I am cent per cent sure. Because he loves the sympathy which he receives from everyone around. He doesn't have much friends but yeah relatives are great. He's like the head of our family. He never listen to anybody. Has a habit of giving order to everybody around. But he's great by heart. I've tried almost everything. He just need to move out of home. He never goes out saying he's not feeling well. Doctors are suggesting bed rest. But still no. Satisfying results.
Can a Doctor please help me I'm in a lot of stress. I did an online conversation with a fixture but she just said to wait and closed the conversation by saying to meet her personally. Actually I had an ipill when my bf threw off on my pan but to be safe I had and got ipill period after 5-6 days but from that dill till today ie from 18 feb till today I haven't got my period my normal period date is 1st. I had a lot of side effects too. And now I'm having ovarian pain a lot of it and back pain too. Please someone help me.
I have a bad habit of smoking. I take resolution to quit it everyday, still I somehow fail. What should I do?
Hello, I am a patient of generalised Anxiety Disorder since 2013 till noe. I am under medication under a psychiatrist but my level of depression is worsening day by day. I am prescribed SSRI drugs which I taking since that time. But noe I am facing health issues such a depression, headache, increase in bodyweight and fats, lack of concentration in studies and the worst part becoming very lazy most of the time I often sleep till evening. Is there any way to cure my these problem. These is really hampering my health and professional life. Please suggest me help.
I am 16 years old male and I am suffering from psychosis such as chemical imbalance, does transcranial magnetic stimulation is done for psychosis .does it works?
I am 55 yrs male, allopathic doctor & suffering from severe anxiety and depression with negative thinking for the last 10 yrs & on allopathic medicines but in vain.Is there any ayurveda medicine for it as permanent cure. Please help.
My son, age 14 years, studying in VIII, have no concentration in study, no remembering capacity, always lives in fantasy. what to do ?
Is bright light therapy useful in non seasonal depression also. If yes how can be this done at home.
Do you sometimes feel oppressed by negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, anger, shame, worthlessness, or depression? Are you open to discover a way to manage them ? and transcend them ? that requires no medication nor years of psychotherapy?
Ancient wisdom traditions of the East ? such as Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism ? have put a lot of study into the human body and mind, for thousands of years, with the goal of transcending human suffering. With centuries of devoted experiments, revelations, and insight, they discovered that all these negative emotions are not natural to our true being ? they belong to the realm of the ego, our mistaken identity.
Following a certain set of contemplative practices and some lifestyle tweaks, these masters discovered their true being, and saw that in this place the negative emotions do not live.
Out of their compassion and sense of oneness with all beings, they then spent their life teaching us how to find this space of freedom, of peace, of bliss. The insights and techniques that I share in this article come from the Buddhist traditions.
I like to call this the L-I-E-R method (label, introspect, examine, release), because it deals directly with the negative feeling and the lie it carries. It?s not a pretty word but does the job as a mnemonic device.
Label. Recognize that fear has arisen, and label it in your mind. The words you use are important. Don?t say ?I?m afraid? or ?I have fear?; instead say ?fear has arisen?, or ?fear is here?. Do you see how just changing the words already creates a different perspective and more space?
Introspect. Take one to three deep breaths, and bring your attention inside yourself ? this means don?t pay attention to the object, person or circumstance that triggered the emotion, but rather attend to the emotion itself. Accept that the feeling is there.
Examine. Study the feeling deeply: its causes, effects, and nature. Here are some questions to guide your contemplation:
Causes: what exactly triggered this feeling in this moment? There is no need to go to the remote causes of it in your childhood or whatever. For now just stay with what?s happening right here. Once you find the core assumptions or mindsets that are at the root of the feeling, challenge them: is this the only way to see this situation? Is this an empowering way of looking at things?
Effects: how does it feel in my body? Where does the feeling reside in my body? What memories and thoughts swim around this feeling in my mind? What are my thoughts and feelings about this feeling?
Nature: Look inside and ask yourself ?what is this feeling?? Don?t use words to explain, just keep the question alive. Does this feeling have a substance, a color, a size? What is it made of? What?s the vibration of it? Contemplate how this feeling is impermanent. It was not here a few minutes ago ? where did it come from? It will not be here after a few minutes ? where will it disappear into?
Spend as much time as you need in step three. Learn as much as possible about the negative feeling. We are slaves of what we don?t understand. See if this emotion is the real problem, or if it is something else underneath it.
Release. Let it be whatever it is ? but don?t create stories and interpretations around it. And let it go. I can?t tell you how to let go, but intuitively every human being knows how.
The outcome of this process is fourfold: clarity (about what the emotion is); composure (to be with the feeling without being overwhelmed); self-knowledge (understanding the nature of the emotion, the triggers, and the effects in your body); liberation (a sense of separation between the emotion and yourself).
For step number three, you may encounter certain concepts or assumptions that are at the root of the negative feeling. Or perhaps certain subconscious ?decisions? of looking at things a certain way. In this example (fear of rejection), it may be self-judgement about your feeling of worth, or perhaps an attachment to an idea that you need the approval of certain person to ?confirm? that you are worthy of love and value. It may be useful, here, to spend some more time and thoroughly challenge these assumptions and choices.
In some cases, also, the emotion is indeed pointing out to something that needs some attention in your life; then you may need to take some external action, to change something. The ?external fixing? does not prevent this internal process, nor does going through this process requires any external passivity.
After going through this you may find that the negative emotion has already disappeared, lost power, or transformed into something else.
Have you ever been in the situation when you really didn't believe what someone was saying? Did you have a sense that something didn't ring true or a gut feeling that all was not right? Perhaps they were saying "Yes" yet their heads were shaking "No"?
The difference between the words people speak and our understanding of what they are saying comes from non-verbal communication, otherwise known as "body language." By developing your awareness of the signs and signals of body language, you can more easily understand other people, and more effectively communicate with them.
There are sometimes subtle – and sometimes not so subtle – movements, gestures, facial expressions and even shifts in our whole bodies that indicate something is going on. The way we talk, walk, sit and stand all say something about us, and whatever is happening on the inside can be reflected on the outside. By becoming more aware of this body language and understanding what it might mean, you can learn to read people more easily. This puts you in a better position to communicate effectively with them. What's more, by increasing your understanding of others, you can also become more aware of the messages that you convey to them.
1. FIRST IMPRESSIONS AND CONFIDENCE
Recall a time when you met someone new at work. Or think about the last time you watched a speaker deliver a presentation.
What were your first impressions? Did you sense confidence or a lack of confidence in them? Did you want to associate with them or not? Were you convinced by them? Did they stride into the room, engage you and maintain eye contact or were they tentative, shuffling towards you with eyes averted, before sliding into a chair? What about their handshake – firm and strong or weak and limp? Moving along in the conversation, did they maintain solid eye contact or were they frequently looking away? Did their face appear relaxed or was it tight and tense? What about their hand and arm movements? Were their gestures wide, flowing and open or were they tight, jerky and closed?
As you observe others, you can identify some common signs and signals that give away whether they are feeling confident or not. Typical things to look for in confident people include:
Posture – standing tall with shoulders back.
Eye contact – solid with a "smiling" face.
Gestures with hands and arms – purposeful and deliberate.
Speech – slow and clear.
Tone of voice – moderate to low.
You can use the same knowledge and adopt a confident attitude in situations where you feel low in confidence. For example, if you are about to enter into a situation where you are not as confident as you'd like to be, such as giving a big presentation or attending an important meeting, you can adopt these 'confidence' signs and signals to project confidence.
2. SETTING THE STAGE FOR NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION
Nonverbal communication is a rapidly flowing back-and-forth process requiring your full concentration and attention. If you are planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, or thinking about something else, you are almost certain to miss nonverbal cues and other subtleties in the conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience in order to fully understand what’s going on.
3. TO IMPROVE YOUR NON VERBALS, LEARN TO MANAGE YOUR STRESS
Learning how to manage stress in the heat of the moment is one of the most important things you can do to improve your nonverbal communication. Stress compromises your ability to communicate. When you’re stressed out, you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Furthermore, emotions are contagious. You being upset is very likely to trigger others to be upset, making a bad situation worse.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress, it’s best to take a time out. Take a moment to calm down before you jump back into the conversation. Once you’ve regained your emotional equilibrium, you’ll be better equipped to deal with the situation in a positive way.
4. HOW EMOTIONAL AWARENESS IMPROVES YOUR NON VERBALS
In order to send accurate nonverbal cues, you need to be aware of your emotions and how they influence you. You also need to be able to recognize the emotions of others and the true feelings behind the cues they are sending. This is where emotional awareness plays an important role.
5. BENEFITS OF UNDERSTANDING NON VERBALS
Accurately read other people, including the emotions they’re feeling and the unspoken messages they’re sending.
Create trust in relationships by sending nonverbal signals that match up with your words.
Respond in ways that show others that you understand, notice, and care.
Know if the relationship is meeting your emotional needs, giving you the option to either repair the relationship or move on.
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