Our goal is to provide a compassionate professional environment to make your experience comfortable. We focus on cure as well as prevention of mental distress. We aim to identify and reso......more
Our goal is to provide a compassionate professional environment to make your experience comfortable. We focus on cure as well as prevention of mental distress. We aim to identify and resolve your problems from all possible perspectives and help you overcome distress mindfully.
More about PsyClinic - Center for Healing Minds
PsyClinic - Center for Healing Minds is known for housing experienced Psychologists. Dr. Tarun Verma, a well-reputed Psychologist, practices in New Delhi. Visit this medical health centre for Psychologists recommended by 48 patients.
07:00 PM - 10:00 PM
10:00 AM - 08:00 PM
B-3/141, IInd Floor, Paschim Vihar
Paschim Vihar New Delhi, Delhi - 110063
M.PHIL - CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY, MA - CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY
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Patient Review Highlights
Sep 5, 2016
Dr. Tarun Verma provides answers that are very helpful, knowledgeable, thorough, caring and well-reasoned. This doctor is the best
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27 years old female from Chennai asked
Hello ,am 27 years old girl ,I want to know about my illness, I feel so anxious and depressed about someone (girl) sometimes, if she speaks with any boy. I am so caring and worried towards her. Can you please suggest something? What is the issue with me I itself cannot get.
It happens sometimes that we develop affection and attachment for people of same sex because they are friendly with us and care for us. As a result we don't want to lose them which is very natural. But when this possessiveness becomes out of control and we think too much about being with that person all the time then we feel jealous when that person is with others. Try to see that you can never have complete control over someone else's life. How can you expect that your friend or this girl can always talk to you and not with others. This is practically not possible. All of us meet with so many people each day and we happen to interact with them at varying levels. So if you feel that she should not talk with other guys then you need to change your perception. You think this is some illness. You have provided a label to your feelings of anxiety and sadness as similar to sickness. You are scared from these feelings of affection towards her. You feel insecure and alone when she is with others because you feel you will lose her. But here you need to understand that your insecurity is making you feel that way. We can not possess anyone forever. You also need to understand that what are the reasons for this insecurity. Do you have very few friends? Do you feel shy in making new friends? Are you generally shy and hesitant in interacting with people? Are you in general overpossessive about personal things? If your answer to most of these questions is yes, then you seem to be an introvert and you need to develop proper social skills. Because you do not fully understand your emotions. You should meet a psychologist who can make you understand your feelings better. The more you will understand your emotions better, the more you will be able to regulate them. Right now your feelings towards your friend are uncontrolled and against your wishes. This is making you feel worried about yourself. Calling it an illness would be a big decision and you should first try to understand your feelings properly. Then you will be able to distinguish which emotion is healthy and which is not.
26 years old male from Bangalore asked
Hi Doctor, I'm 25 years old and my body is aging fast due to the emotional stress, from past 6 months i am experiencing this emotional stress due to relationship breakup. My question is can the body be recovered from the emotional stress, if so please mention the ways to recover.
Dear, emotional stress due to relationship breakup or any other reasons is a very tormenting experience for anyone. Its not easy to remove all the past memories which very wonderful as well as some were painful. In a relationship, we develop lot of attachment with our partner which makes it difficult to resolve breakup once that attached partner is no more with us. It feels like one of our body parts is not with us any more. This results in constant emotional pain as we don't find any other source of relief or attachment. Loss leads to experiences of being wounded. Its easy to heal physical wounds but emotional wounds generally stay with us forever. Many times we are not able to interpret the breakup and its reasons properly which results in consistent feelings of hatred and anger towards our partner and self. We keep pondering what went wrong and how we could have saved the relationship. So we may also feel lots of guilt. This makes the pain of breakup difficult to resolve. So one must understand the feelings associated with breakup and how they are causing pain to us. This requires an initiation of self-healing process. Try to focus on your feelings and see what are the most prominent ones. For example, are you feeling guilty that breakup was all your fault or do you feel anger that you have been betrayed. Try to understand what thoughts come to your mind when you think about your breakup or the thoughts that pop into your mind now and then that depress you and make you feel worse. This way you will understand how you have to heal yourself. Breakup experiences are different for everyone. You will come to know that breakup has some particularly significant effect on you which can be healed by developing self-compassion. You need to heal yourself by becoming more aware about your feelings. Distracting yourself by engaging in day to day normal activities may repress your emotions which may withdraw you from initiating new relationships. So try to make this breakup a transformative experience for you so that you may enter into a new relationship with new learning and experience. There should be no negativity left in you as a result of this experience. First gain awareness of feelings, then develop self-compassion, then see both sides of the breakup and then learn from this experience. Initial work should be of self-healing. Then look for moving further.
22 years old female asked
I want to increase my height. Sir Mujhe bohot saram aati h. mai isliye kahi bahar Jana v band kr diya h me na chahte hue v sbse apni height compare krti rahti hu. Meri choti sis. V mjhse lmbi h koi v dekhta wo uski tarif krte Mjhe bht bura lgta h mai wha se hat Jati hu. Bt har jagah log uski personality ki tarif krte h.Mjhe bht bura lgta h m army join karna chahti thi bt height km home ki wajah Se Mjhe Mera dream chorna pda. Sir m is wajah Se hmesa depression m rahti hu or Ye kbhi khtm nhi hone wala. Sir please help me please. My height 4 ft 10 inch age 20.
Dear, aapki problem ne kaafi pareshan kiya hua hai aapko. Aapke liye apni height ko accept kar paana mushkil ho raha hai. Agar aam taur pe dekhe to 4 ft 10 in ki height kaafi hoti hai ladkiyo ke liye. Hindustan me ladkiyo ki samanya height 4 ft 3 in hoti hai. Is lihaaj se aapki height kaafi hai. Magar aksar aisa hota hai ki hum mansik taur pe alag aankalan lagate hain apni khoobiyo ya vyaktitv ka. Jaise aapme bahut see khoobiya hongi. Maan lo aap padhai me 80 ank laate hain aksar. Par aapko aisa lagega ki ye kaafi nahi hain kyuki aapko kam se kam 95 ank chahiye. Zyadatar log shayad 60 ank hi la pate ho. Aap behtar hote huye bhi apne ko humesha kam mehsoos karoge kyuki aapko doosre aisa ehsaas dilate hain ki 80 ank kaafi nahi hain. Yeh kaaran aapne khud bhi bataya. Aap apni behen se tulna karte ho khud ki. Is karanvash aapko apni height 4 ft 10 in hote huye bhi kam lagti hai. Aapko apni behen se kee gayi tulna pasand nahi aati kyuki aapko usme bhed-bhaav dikhayi padta hai. Isliye aapka man har samay apni lambaayi ke sambandh me sochta rehta hai aur aap khud se khush nahi hain. Aapne army join karne ka bataya. Ho sakta hai ki army me selection na hone ka koi aur kaaran bhi ho. Par aap kyuki apni lambai ko apni kaamyabi ka adhaar maante ho isliye aapko lagta hai ki yehi kaaran hai jis vajah se aapka selection nahi hua. Aapko humesha se aisa bataya gaya hai ya aapne humesha aisa dekha hai ki lamba vyakti achha aur behtar hota hai. Lambi ladki bahut see khoobiya rakhti hai, aisa aapne samjha hai. Is vajah se aapne lambai ko apne vyaktitv ka adhaar bana liya hai. Jabki yeh sahi nahi hai. Aisa maanna ya aisa samajhna galat hai. Kayi kaarno se aisa sochna galat hai. Pehla to ye ki lambai se vyakti ke charitra ka pata nahi chalta. Doosra, Lambai hi keval ek maatra adhaar nahi vyakti ke moolya ko pehchaanne ka. Teesra, Lambai chhota ya zyada hona kisi ke haath me nahi. Ye genetic nature pe nirbhar karta hai. Aapko samajhna hoga ki lambai badhane se aaj aap khush reh sakte ho par kuch time baad aap fir nirasha mehsoos karoge. Aise me behtar hota hai ki hum sweekar kar le apne vyaktitv, roop aur charitr ko. Anyatha bevajah hi hum apne man ko dukhi karenge. Aapki lambai ek had tak hi badh sakti hai aur uska vikas ab 20 varsh ki aayu me poora ho chuka hai. Isse zyada ye aur nahi badh sakti. So aise me behtar yehi hoga ki aap sweekar kar le aur apne man ko doosro ki tulna se door karen. Apne man me lambai ke vicharo ko na aane de aur agar man nahi maanta to aap kisi counselor se paramarsh le. Aapko mazboot banne ki zarurat hai aur doosri khoobiyo pe dhyan dene ki aavshyakta hai. Aapme aur bhi bahut see khoobiya hogi jo aapki behen me nahi hain. Unpar dhyan do aur dekho ki aap bhi behtar ho. Army na sahi, koi aur profession chun sakte ho aap. Ya aap dobara apply karo army ke liye. Lambai ko apni zindagi mat banao. Ye koi manzil nahi hai aapki.
23 years old male from Faizabad asked
Dear Dr. l am suffering from hand tremors and weakness in hand. When l face some challenging tasks these symptoms increases, Also let Android break down. Or lam getting restless and Angry, lf someone is not listening me l start getting violent. Sometimes l feel danger from my wife and son .l want to go away from them. They are reason for my disease they always do not listen to me, THEY are doubting me. I feel they are spying on me. They are spying on me. I feel as if l have done some thing wrong, Not always but during peak of nervousness l start listening some mild sounds/ musics when l follow these sounds l find no one talking or l was listening a fake ringtone of my phone, there was actually no calls on my phone. These are some examples. Also these days not before from last 2,3 days l am getting confused like did l locked my door or not, where did l kept my mobile, what is the date today. Thanks.
Dear, some of the behaviors you have described fall into the category of psychotic symptoms. This means your suspiciousness towards your wife and son, the sounds/music that you hear, and other similar behaviors where you doubt intentions of other people - these behaviors indicate that you are displaying symptoms of schizophrenia. However, you also mentioned feelings of worry, anxiety, anger and guilt. These emotional symptoms are making your condition worse and they are also maintaining psychotic symptoms because during these peaks of nervousness, your voice hearing increases. This is leading to a never ending chain of severity. Generally these symptoms of suspiciousness and doubt develop due to lack of social skills and poor reasoning ability. You may be facing difficulties in knowing intentions of others towards you. You do not trust others in general. You are not able to develop attachment with others easily. This may have been present since your childhood. You feel left out and believe nobody cares for you. Feelings of guilt and rejection are some of the signs why you have got these symptoms. You also mention some poor concentration at work and day to day life. This is also common in schizophrenia. You need to consult a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist to relieve these symptoms. Please consult some specialist as soon as possible to prevent your condition from getting worse.
38 years old male from Nagpur asked
Dear Doctor, I am 35 years old male and i am not working and i am suffering from mental illness which I noticed myself I think lot about past and future after then I get nervous and depression from this I am facing lack of confidence and I couldn't do any work with confidently now a days I am getting angry from silly unusual things and I will get panic when doing work. May be I am suffering from some mental disorders from this I am getting mentally weaker day by day and am going to get Marry soon but I am worrying how should I lead my Life happily and confidently in my career and personal life please suggest some helpful things. And please suggest how to overcome stress and how to get rid out from depression and anxiety.
Hello. I can understand your condition. The feelings of helplessness that you are describing are result of depressed mood and negative thinking. It happens sometimes that our minds think over the past too much and this makes us feel negative and low about ourselves. Thinking about past events may be considered a normal phenomena but when this gets out of control and we keep reverting to thoughts about past happenings, then we find ourselves caught up in a circle of negative thinking. We are not able to relieve us from such mental load and find no direction as how to come out of it. We develop a negative view of ourselves and we are not able to feel good about ourselves. This makes us more depressed and we feel incapable of doing anything. We get stuck to past and find ourselves helpless in face of any challenging circumstances. A new event of marriage is making you vulnerable to feel more depressed and helpless as you are unemployed and occupied in your past. This is a state of depression and it seems you may be having clinical depression which needs to be diagnosed by a mental health professional and treated in time. You are going to start a new phase of your life and therefore you need hope, courage and motivation to enter this new phase. So this is the right time for you to seek professional help and make yourself feel better about yourself. You need to work and find meaning in life. You MUST meet a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist as soon as possible.
29 years old male from Jodhpur asked
My psychiatrist once given me lorazepam 2 mg in night to reduce anxiety 0-0-1 (heart palpitation etc.) For a month then stop.(Although I am prescribed lithium carbonate 300 mg 1-1-1). After 2 years again I felt heart palpitation. Bt now this time lorazepam not giving results. What to do?
Dear, psychiatric medications are not meant to get dependent on them. You may have got relief the first time in a month period and that is a good sign that your body had ability to recover fast. May be your anxiety was not complicated by factors which may be present now. This time if your anxiety is not getting controlled, its better either you visit another doctor or simply ask him to change medicines. If he doesn't do that, then its better you should try Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) this time. It is a form of psychotherapy and targets symptoms of anxiety very well. There are several techniques in this form of therapy and step by step, in a short period of time, you may easily regulate your symptoms. That means, CBT is a form of therapy which makes you the master of your symptoms, rather than medicines. Medicinal treatment assumes that all symptoms of anxiety (or any other disorder) are due to changes in brain chemistry but ignores several other psychological factors which can be dealt only with psychotherapy. Your psychiatrist has put you on medical treatment which is generally the first line treatment for any patient but good psychiatrists always ask to get psychotherapy too. Relapse of symptoms that has happened with you may be dealt better with CBT rather than medicines. This time you MUST consider taking CBT from a good psychotherapist. Psychotherapists are Clinical Psychologists who are trained to provide different forms of psychotherapy. As I can read here, you are able to realize that your palpitations are triggered by stress or other things. This awareness is sufficient to work on cognitive and behavioral aspects of your anxiety. If anxiety gets controlled by medicines, its good, but it is always recommended to take CBT.
25 years old male from Bangalore asked
I have taken multiple (4 to 5) online tests which shows I have moderate BPD. I feel I do please help.
Dear user, BPD is a personality disorder where a person is emotionally unstable and lacks any long lasting relationships. There feelings of emptiness, with frequent mood fluctuations, and lack of persistent goals in life. Person is impulsive with threatening behaviors often displayed towards others or self. There are feelings of guilt and depression. Suicidal or self-harm behaviors are also present. Many other behaviors may be present, chief problem lies with trusting others and believing in self/others. These behaviors need to be assessed by a trained professional for the presence of any disordered condition. As you can see, many of these behaviors are sometimes present in most of us at some point of time in our life, which may be due to different reasons. BPD is a clinical disorder and needs professional diagnosis to reach to any conclusion. Online tests may be there to help you identify those behaviors which may qualify to be part of BPD but one should not believe in online tests which don't have any credibility. You have not mentioned names of any such sites from where you have self-diagnosed yourself. Self-diagnosis is a dangerous attempt, in case of psychiatric disorders specially. This may put a wrong perception in you about your distressing mental condition and you may start feeling more helpless. Its better you visit a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist for an appropriate diagnosis. There are psychiatric interviews which are specifically designed to diagnose personality disorders. You may get one and see which one you have, in fact you have to first check whether you have any BPD or other disorder or not. So try not to self-diagnose yourself and consult a specialist. There are good therapies that help BPD patients. BPD people respond best to psychotherapies, specially DBT.
17 years old male from Delhi asked
Hi I wanna know 1 thing and that is I have one cousin brother and he often use social networking sites and when he surfed any social networking site then he usually send messages to unknown persons and then if they do not reply to my brother message then he usually send them messages again and again until they reply to his question (message) and few time ago my brother has send one message to one politician and in that message he has wrote that please become my friend and at that time .that politician has told my brother to talk with him via call but my brother do not talk to him via call and at that time my brother starts disturbing that politician and then few hours later (that politician send one message to my brother and in that message that politician has wrote .i m going to feed an fir against uh and that time my brother has said sorry to him and that politician said its ok but do not disturb me again but few months ago my brother again send one message to that politician and in that message he has again wrote that please become my friend and then that political has asked the reason for why do my brother wanna do friendship with him then my brother told him the reason and then that politician said to my brother:-why are you talking like girls with me then my brother has told him that aisa kuch nahi hai and then my brother and that politician start chatting with each other sometimes but few days before my brother said one thing to that politician and that is:-nice dp and after seeing that message that politician has blocked my brother and thats why my brother make a call to him and then my brother has asked to him (why did uh have blocked me) then at time that politician said my brother -(why are uh disturbing me) and why do uh wanna become my friend and that time my brother told him that I like to make new friends and then he has told my brother -(why are you talking like girls) and then he has suddenly hang up the call and then after waiting for sometime my brother has again make a call to him and then that politician has shouted on my brother and then he has also said my brother -(i do not wanna do friendship with uh and he has said to my brother .are you mad and that time my brother has told him that he is suffering from depression since his fathers death so now I wanna know that is these all things are normal or not and is there any insult feeling in this or not?
Your brother's behavior is obviously not normal. By abnormal, I mean he is interfering in someone else's life. Such kind of behavior is threatening to others. He is overindulging himself in making friends with others. This is like forcing others to become friends. This is a sort of passive aggression which is characteristic of depressed individuals. He tries to be close to others but gets irritated by their rejection. He feels unworthy and due to this he resends friend requests. Getting to know strangers may be good way of socializing but he is unnecessarily bothering others and himself. He needs to make friends in real life. Virtual friends do not add much to your social satisfaction. This way he may create legal problems for himself too. He needs professional counseling.
18 years old female asked
Hi. I exercise everyday 5 times a week with Shaun T's focus T25. I rest for two days. I know my body needs rest but I'm afraid if I don't do any physical activity for these 2 days that I'll gained back some fat that I worked so hard to get off. This has happened to me a few times before and it just makes me so depressed and frustrated. What do you suggest I do to prevent this?
Dear, you must have tried very hard for a long time to keep fit and prevent weight gain. Thats why you are worried about weight gain on trivial basis. Weight loss has a science behind it and weight can not be gained in a fraction of time. You have already activated your metabolism by doing regular exercise to keep you fit and your body needs rest too otherwise thr will be stress and fatigue of muscles which may injure you. If you have looked carefully, every fitness regime talks about appropriate resting periods for the body to prepare for next exercise and for the changes to take place. There is a reason behind these. Fitness is achieved by following rules and principles refrding how body works. Exercizing too much may not do miracles. You are getting obsessed about weight loss thats why you worry too much. Do not fovus on irrelevant worries that your mind throws at you. Believe in your efforts. Fitness is not only achieved but maintained for long periods too. So make exercise a part of your lifestyle instead of a one time activity. Then you will develop a lighter attitude towards fitness. Rather than pushing yourself beyond limits.
18 years old male from Patiala asked
Sitting in class with teacher teaching ,me trying to focus; but I gets distracted by the movements of students nearby. While looking at the whiteboard, I feel like I can see 180 degrees. I also feel affected that I should not do that and as a result I end up not looking at the whiteboard and thus becoming poorer at academics. The neighbouring students feel like I am looking at them indecently (at their private parts which I do not want to) and all this causes headaches and increases my anxiety levels to a next level every week.(i wear glasses. Tried medication from youtube but it effect lasts for some time .after that terrible mood swings occur .i am in constant analysation .can not do even a basic thing (which I used to do 2 years back) without pondering over it. I just want to get over it as I feel like I have ruined my life Please help doctor ?What should I do? What the average time by which I would be able to overcome this?
You seem to be experiencing symptoms of depression. You talked about poor concentration which is a symptom of depression and low mood. It seems you are getting hopeless in yourself. You look around yourself and only things you notice in yourself are social anxiety, embarrassment, and pessimism. You seem to be having feelings of guilt and shame. You feel you are unworthy and helpless. Your efforts are not helping you and your energy levels are reduced. Overthinking is a coping and problem solving strategy which depressed individuals use most often. But this strategy is fruitless. You only stress yourself by thinking too much and get headaches or tensions. Please consult a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist before your depression gets severe.
25 years old male from Lucknow asked
I am 24 years old male having good and strong physique and software engineer by profession. But the problem is Im still virgin and I do not have any gf because I cannot talk wifh girls but my mind is totally devoted to have sex all the time. Due to which my mind is always in a drowsy state neither I can focus on what I am presently doing. And my mind never rests its always thinking which has resulted in depression. And this is happening from last 4-5 months. So I request you to please provide me solution for it.
You need Behavior Therapy for this. Your behavior and thought process needs to change. You have fears in approaching girls for which you need to understand what makes you to hesitate. You may not be having any healthy relationship with any girl in the past. This has made you insecure. When you approach girls, you fear that they may know about your sexual needs and ditch you. So you must approach them with a friendly attitude. Sexual fantasies is absolutely normal and healthy. But if they make you anxious and worried about your sexual potency then you need professional counseling.
18 years old male from Guwahati asked
I have got an anxiety of being suffer from rabbies. I read about it a lot in internet. Every morning I woke up fearing from fear of water. Every moment I spent thinking what would happen if I get rabbies' and this kind of thought .How could I get relief? actually I touch saliva of nilgai in a zoo. No open wound must'nt present on my hand at that time. But not able to convince myself.
What you are experiencing is called illness anxiety and may take the form of a disorder called hypochondriasis. In this disirder, a person may feel fear or anxiety of getting a disease without any basis. Like in your case too. You need to think rationally that touching saliva may not cause rabies. Fear of disease has occupied your thoughts. For that you need to see how rabies is spread. Then you will understand where you are mistaken. This knowledge will help you to reconsider your beliefs and help you in relieving fear. You need to just start believing that your idea of disease may be wrong and without basis. Only then you will b able to see the contradictory evidence. Otherwise you will always try to reassure yourself of having a disease.
25 years old male asked
Hi me anil 25 years told. I have problem in through while speaking my voice hear has young voice. And in phone it will be here as an transgender voice. So pls tell me which checkup I have to under go and if I take the treatment my voice will here has an man.
I can not suggest about any surgery as its not part of my speciality but you must be having lots of psychological concerns. You need to accept yourself as you are. This will help you to face your real identity.
22 years old male from Bangalore asked
Information is not sufficient. Please share in detail. Knowing the reason is very much important to relieve stress and become happy. As a general advice, distraction is very important for you. Keep yourself distracted from your problem as thinking too much about it would make you more sick. Problems don't get solved by worrying about them all the time. Your mind needs time and space to think. Spend time in doing activities which you like and which make you feel energetic and motivated. This way you will distract yourself from problems and when time would be right, you may rethink over your problems and reflect on possible solutions. This is called incubation period which is followed when we want to arrive at a solution.
16 years old female from Budaun asked
I don't why but recently I always feel bad and fear and when I am alone unlike earlier I feel fear and tension stress etc I don't why What is this?
Understand the reasons for this. Make a diary or a journal with entries for everyday. Note down when you feel depressed, anxious or stressed or any other negative emotion that bothers you. State the event that made you feel that way. Note down your thoughts during that experience or phase. Also note the consequences for that - what you did after that and what happened etc. This will help you understand your thoughts and emotions better and would help you understand the reasons for your fluctuating feelings. This will help in future to provide any remedies. No specific solution as of now. If possible consult a clinical psychologist.
22 years old male from Navi Mumbai asked
Hi everyone I want to know that if pain is inevitable why we are afraid of pain, now everyday lot of people die and accidents happenings all around the world but I am shocked to see how these people tolerate pain and fear of death. I am very much coward and I am very afraid of slight pain, even I do not like getting injection and I avoid many of the things due to pain, I also know that no pain no gain but I am still frightened of pain and I do not like getting out of comfort zone as it is painful and also I hate pain I am lazy and I want to get rid of laziness but its really very painful and even if we want to achieve something like good grades or mastering a skill we have to undergo pain so if success requires pain so why people avoid pain why I am so afraid of pain as each and every person is undergoing pain so how I can prepare myself for facing pain or getting out of comfort zone or to tolerate physical pain.
Your question is a very existential one, which means you are asking a question about an experience which all of us go through in everyday lives and is of philosophical concern for all of us. No one wants pain. Try to see that it is in the nature of pain that it is avoided. Pain implies something which discomforts us or which makes us at unease. Everyone wants to be happy and pleasurable all the time. But this is not so in real sense. Nature consists of bipolarities where each and every phenomena has an equal opposite. People who can experience pleasure only experience pain. Schizophrenic individuals do not experience much pain because they are devoid of pleasure too. Therefore, for experience of appropriate pleasure, an equal share of painful experiences is must. Since your question is much philosophical so I am answering that way. Your second problem is laziness that you mentioned. Laziness is a sign of creativity too. You seem to think deeply about your condition and due to this you seem to bother about your present condition. You see yourself as lazy and unproductive. But this is how nature is. Nature is lazy too. Do you see any deadline in nature's functioning? Nature's phenomena happen on their own. More important for nature is Harmony with other things around. You should also look for the same in your life. Harmony! You want to come out of your comfort zone which means you want a change in your life. But as I can see, your thinking shows that life is too difficult to overcome even few minor issues. You see everything as cumbersome and a burden on you. You are surrounded by a lot of pain. Pain is what you see in you life everywhere. Moving ahead and looking back - there is pain everywhere. Slightest change for you means bearing a lot of pain. You are preoccupied by existential concerns of how to make meaning out of your life. This is why you find yourself lazy because you see that everyone around you is taking efforts to become active and successful and competitive but you are not among those. You find yourself different from others, unique in several aspects. Even success is aversive for you. You seem to be a thinker kind of a person who wants to think and reflect on life. Let me tell you. This thinking style is your asset. Your life will make a deeper meaning for you in long run but everything will run slowly. The reason is, unlike others, you are able to see the meaninglessness of life. At the very core, life has no meaning and you are able to sense this. This makes your life burdensome and worthless. Life has meaning but at the same time it s meaningless - another dichotomy. People who are running for success only want pleasure and hence they experience pain too in achieving success. But they are not able to see the other side of life. You can feel that. Most people only want to see meaning in life and hence they seem selfish and active. But you see the other side. You see life's meaninglessness and hence you feel pain more. They are just busy in seeking pleasure so they suffer more. But believe me, you are not suffering rather living life. You live pain, people suffer pain - thats the difference. Your approach is more deeper than of most people. Stay with this approach and way of life and your life will find meaning. No specific solution will work.
34 years old female from Dehradun asked
I am having severe depression. Doctor recommend me to take Clonafit plus tablets for 45 days. I have started this prescription since 12 days but still feeling depressed. N feeling sleepy all the day. N also having pain in upper abdomen just below chest. Kindly let me know why this is happening?
As you said you are having severe depression, it takes time for the depression to heal. Medicines are good treatment for depression but they do have side effects depending on various factors. You may be experiencing side effects of medicines for which you should consult your psychiatrist only. Twelve days time is a short period to come to any conclusion that whether treatment is good or not. You have to wait for some more time to see any 'real' effects. Being under depression makes us hopeless and fills us with low confidence. We become pessimistic. I see that this is happening with you regarding your treatment also. You have to keep hopes regarding treatment. Otherwise it will get difficult for you to recover to a normal lifestyle. Stay with the treatment and follow psychiatrist's advice.
54 years old male from Mangalore asked
I have seen people who sleep less than 6 hours and are living at the age of 90, 100 years. Scientist sleep less and concentrate on research. They also have good concentration inspite of less sleep. Pl reply.
Dear Lybrate user, your question is a very theoretical one and many studies have been conducted regarding this. Aging is a mystery for scientists and many exceptions exist that defy common aging phenomena. For example, take the cases of such rare people who have lived more than 110 or 120 years. No one knows for sure what is their diet and physiology that led them live for so many years. We may say that such people are chance phenomena. Because not everyone is living up to 100 or more years. The questions you have put are interesting but they lack logical validity. You seem to indicate that less sleep leads to great scientific discoveries. Or that people who take less sleep live for longer. It seems you want to say that by sleeping less one may focus on productive endeavors. But there are many critical points in this argument. First of all, there is no such evident certain causation. There may be people who seem to be productive but not because they are utilizing sleep hours. One or two hours may not make you super-productive if you are not determined and hard working towards your goals. We may reason otherwise that people who are productive and energetic may not require too much rest because their ambitions make them alert and competitive. They are living a meaningful life. Compare the life of a person who is watching television all the time and spending time on whatsapp or facebook. His life is too monotonous and dry. This kind of person usually sleeps more. He has so much time to spend in leisure. His brain is working slowly. On the other hand, a person like Narendra Modi or Shahrukh Khan, works for 18-20 hours per day. They remain fit and calm due to productive work schedule. They enjoy their life more. So the key to less sleep and more productivity may lie in hard work, ambition, and meaningful life. Hope this answer resolves your query.
17 years old male from Delhi asked
Sir I have a question about masturbation, sir, is there any connection of masturbation with blood, height, brain (learning power). Sometimes I feel that my learning power is so weak. I did not keep many things in my mind for a long time, sir I am a student and you know how learning is important for us so please give me some home remedies to sharp my mind. Thanks.
Masturbation has no connection with poor concentration or weak mental abilities. Its a MYTH. Feel free to masturbate and enjoy your fantasies. The only loss you experience by masturbating is low satisfaction. You can not substitute a real partner with an imagined one. You will always keep craving for real thing if you will keep entertaining yourself with substitutes. Japanese youth is making use of sex toys and dummy women to satisfy their sexual urges, They are becoming anhedonic day by day. Anhedonia means reduced sense of pleasure in day to day activities. That means overall pleasure feelings get affected by paraphilic tendencies like masturbation or fetishism. So you must build confidence to approach a girl. You have believed that masturbation is your destiny and you will never get a real girl (in case you do not have one as I am assuming this based on my experience). But believe me, you can get a girl in real. Your worries are due to this only. All your concerns regarding your mental health are focused on masturbation practice. But practically, these worries are needless.
23 years old male from Bangalore asked
I am a smoker from many years for now. I smoke as much as 20 cigarettes per day depending on my stress. I want to quit smoking but I'm unable to do so. I am scared that if this continues then my future is in a big danger. Do I have any remedies to control then quit. When am on phone I'll smoke a lot.
Get aware of all the possible life threatening diseases that you may get from smoking. This will motivate you. Try to also develop opposite belief that how smoking can be bad for health. You are currently not looking for those perspectives which emphasize quitting of smoking. You overhear advice from people who suggest that smoking can ruin your life. Due to this you move away from solution. Try to see how quitting smoking can be good for you. Try to imagine a life without smoking and how people will appreciate you once you quit smoking. These will motivate you.
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