Spring and Summer Counselling

Hello,

Good morning friends. Aaj hum baat karenge students aur unke anxiety ke baare mein. Aaj ke students ke upar sabse bada pressure hai achche marks score karne ka. Everybody wants them to score well. Chahe vo student khud ho, uske friends ho, uske parents ho, teachers ho, the whole society is after children that they should score well. Ek bahut bada pressure hai to perform well when they write their exams. So exam related bahut sare stress aur anxiety ke cases aa rahe hai mere paas. Bahut sare bachcho se bate karti hu aur kya problem hai, mudda kya hai? Basically, when they start studying, then padne ka mann nahi karta hai. Aaj kal ke bachcho ke paas bahut sare distractions bhi hai, screens hai. Jaise ki bahut saare bachche hai jo PubG khelene mein interested hai aur PubG type ke bahut saare online aur offline games khelte hai. Ab online aur offline games ye itne interesting hote hai ki usko chhod ke kitab tak aana, jo aap kitab khol ke baithe ho, and it is so boring. I mean a lot of things are happening which never uses to happen even 10 years ago. Like I said the screen, takes a lot of time from them. Aur kya dikkate hoti hai? Concentration ki problem hoti hai. If a child opens his books and aadha ek ghanta nikal jaata hai aur vo bechara ek hi page pe hai. Aisa kyu hota hai ki bache perform nahi kar pa rahe hai, padh nahi pa rahe hai. Aisa bhi ho raha hai ki, bahut saare bachcho ke saath hota hai, the complain they come up with that maám bahut saari padhai kari thi lekin jab exams diye tab uss tarah ke marks nahi aaye jaise padhai kari thi. Also problems kya kya hai? Jaise ki learn nahi hota hai, yaad nahi rahta hai. Padhai kiya tha par yaad nahi rahta hai. Iss tarah ki aur bhi bahut saari dikkate aati hai. There is a student. She comes to me and her problem is, itni saari baki emotional problems hai, itne saare issues hai ki usme se nikal ke fir padhai kar pana, waha tak aana is a big problem. Mujhe ye dekh ke bahut afsos hota hai that a student of class say 9th, 10th, jaise agle saal board hai, iss saal board hai, matlab 5-6 mahine mein board ka exam dena hai, aur uss bachche ke saath kuch aisa ho chuka hai ki last, even in 4th, 5th he was performing well, 6th, 7th tak bhi marks thik thak aate the, but after 8th, by 9th marks started dipping and by 10th he is already lost a lot of interest in studies, marks achche nahi aate.

Toh aisa kya ho raha hai humare education system mein that we are losing our students, good students are not feeling like studying by the time they reach 10th, 12th. They are already saturated, fed up and they don’t want to study anymore. They have lost all the interest. So some of the things I feel is, number 1, when a child is studying, he should know why is he studying? So I ask all my students, what is the reason? Is there a need to study? The first and foremost important thing, is there a need to study? Well, you will be surprised to know that none of the students said no for that. So everybody, each and every child understands that there is a need to study. So I often ask them, what is the need to study? Why do you want to study? So I have understood this that children also, like the adults in their lives, understand that padhai matlab success. So if I study well matlab I will be successful in life, I will be happy in life. So that is why they understand that padhna jaroori hai. So now when I ask them, padhke kya karoge? Job karna hai. Achcha, kis tarah ka job? So then they come up with answers. Like, what do you want to become? I want to be a lawyer, I want to do CA, I want to become a scientist. Scientist banna chahta hai lekin science mein achche marks nahi aa rahe, Maths achcha nahi lagta hai. See, what I am trying to say is dream hai, and that is a good thing, because hope hai. I tell my students, it’s fine if you change your mind and tomorrow you want to something else, today you want to become a fashion designer, tomorrow you want to become a scientist, day after you want to become a lawyer, that’s fine. But ek aim hona chaiye. So when today if I open my book and I find it boring, I will know that why am I doing this? Why am I reading these lines which are not making any sense to me right now? Does it make any sense? Why am I not enjoying? Not having fun in life and I am studying? Well I am doing this because tomorrow I want to become so and so, I want to do this and that. So number one, you should look more than this. Abhi ka ye jo situation hai more than that. Ye karne ke baad mujhe vo milega that is why I am doing it. So number one, aim, a motivation that why I am studying? That is there. So that is a very important thing. And then the second part I was talking about is interest. A lot of students, unfortunately, have lost interest by the time they have reached class 9th, 10th, 11th 12th. They lose their interest in studies, why so? Like I said, there are interesting things happening in life, so if you don’t study, you can actually go and play PubG which is interesting, aap uss game mein jaate ho, ye bandook laate ho, vo bandook milta hai apko, you take a drop at an interesting place where you are killing people and getting points, get interesting instruments, more bigger gun, a flair drop aur pata nahi kya kya. So there are many things happening. So I talk to my students, I tell them interesting kya hota hai? Interesting vo hota hai, jaise online games mein interesting baat kya hai? Online game mein interesting baat ye hai ki they have levels. Ye levels jo hai, vo interesting bana dete hai games ko. Usme level one pe aap chhota mota kuch karoge, level two pe aap uss se bada kuch karoge, level three pe uss se bhi bada kuch karoge, uss se bhi bada kuch milta hai. Ab agar maan lo ki fruits ka koi game ho toh usme if you win something, what they give you? They give you a fruit basket. Ye virtual fruit ko aap kha bhi nahi sakte ho, bahar wale ke liye vo koi badi nahi hai, but aap ke liye, Oh God, now I have a basket of these virtual fruits may be that person does not have. This is how they make it interesting, they make level in that, they give you rewards in that. Ye same formulae we need to apply to our studies also, you can make levels in your studies matlab you could make levels that level one probably maybe just reading, level two is memorizing, level three is something else. So you could make it like that or good idea is to make levels, like 30 days in a month, 1st to 10 days is level one, 11 to 20 level two, 21st to 30th is level three, and could be something like that and reward yourself.

So how will you reward yourself? Suppose you decide what you like? Suppose, my son likes Dominos pizza, I know it’s not a very healthy thing, but if you are able to work for 10 days continuously, the way you had decided or planned, then on the 11th day probably you get a reward for yourself. I tell my students, who do not like pizza or they do not have a clear reward for themselves, I tell them that may be on the 11th day they can take an off and that is your award. In this context, I would also want to say what I say first when I start talking to my students is very, very, very, very important and under-rated thing is time-table and time-table is a must for all the students. Please make a time-table today and try to follow it. Now, I will ask you a question, tell me something, if you have a task of about 25 things, you have to do and you have kept in your mind. In another context you have 25 things to do and you have written on a piece of paper, in which situation do you think all your 25 tasks or chances to complete it is more likely? What do you think? Pahli situation mein jab aapne apne dimag mein socha hai toh apke 25 kaam ho jaane ke chances jyada hai ya dusre situation mein, jab aapne usko kagaj pe likha hai, tab usko ho jaane ke chances jyada hai? Aapko kya lagta hai? Yeah, that’s the right answer. When you write it on a piece of paper, then the chances to complete you work goes high and that is scientifically proven, it’s not me who is saying that. So writing is like a commitment, once you write something on a paper, you actually get motivated to do it. So it’s a very very important thing that, if you are a bored student, who is not motivated enough to study, please start writing the points that you want to do. So that was one.

The second thing like I said is that a time-table is a must. What is the problem that the students are facing nowadays? The problem is that they go to school, say suppose from 8'o clock to 2'o çlock, after school say from 3'o clock to 6'o clock they are in the tuition, then they have a break say of one hour, then most of the students go for another tuition, say from 8'o clock to 9'o clock, then maybe another tuition. So I don’t understand one thing, when a student starts doing poorly, what their parents do is that they put them in tuition. So the student starts going to tuition now. This tuition will most likely not be single person teaching, this will be another group of teaching going on. So, in a way, I feel that the students are going to two schools, one is the school in which they are going and studying and one in the tuition where they are going and studying. And to make life more interesting, in the tuition the same chapter will not done as in the school, so look at the student, student is weak therefore he is being put to tuition. And in the tuition, some other chapter is going on, in school some other chapter is going on. And God forbid, if he doesn’t like the teacher in school, then obviously he will not be paying attention because in mind he is thinking that he will go to tuition and there he will get clarified. But then he loses motivation to come to school, he loses motivation in understanding, paying attention in school and it doesn’t make any sense because the weak student is getting worse because now neither does he have any motivation left nor is he finding it interesting. He is becoming more crippled because of tuition. And the worst thing that is happening is that they have no time left to study on their own. No self-study happening and they lose any idea that they would develop about themselves or any strategy they would develop on their own to tackle the problem of studying, that never builds up, that never grows, that is never happening. Because they are never doing it. What they are doing is they are learning from other people as to be how to be studying this chapter, so and so chapter. I often tell my students, have you seen that there are coaching for class 10th, class 12th? In every Galli, nukkad you will find class 10th ke coaching going on, class 12th ke coaching going on. But have you seen that after graduation, masters, further that you go for studying, you will not get teachers who would say ’ok I teach for masters only.’ Why? The idea is you need to learn how to learn. That you have to develop on your own, you can’t be banking on other people.

So, some of the problems are, because of the system, but then some of the problems like I was telling you was, one of the students I recently met, she is addicted to the screen and she doesn’t know how to come out of it. It is so simple and so complicated at the same time. So if you are addicted to a screen, what do you think you should do? I mean, suppose you are totally into Facebook or Instagram or WhatsApp, what should the student do? Tell me. Isn’t it obvious? You won’t believe what I told her when she came to me. I told her to delete it. So, it’s the addiction that is almost like substance abuse. So, you are like, the term I used addiction, you are so used to doing it, if you don’t do you are actually having withdrawal symptoms also. So I would suggest that just delete it for 3-4 days then install it back again, just do it for 2 hours and delete it again. You know try doing that on and off. Also, you could try like, what I told one of my students and it actually worked for her, just take the phone, give it to somebody else and take it back from the person, say after 2 hours when you are done with the studying. There are simple solutions to big problems. Like, one of the problems I was talking about was a student when they learn, they forget, they don’t remember. One other common problem I am seeing with students and thus the reason for their anxiety is that students go blank. So, pura padhai kiya tha ma’ám poora sab taiyar tha, but once I went into the examination hall I went blank. Why do you think that happens? Why would somebody who has studied has gone blank? Blank ki apni ek kahani hai. Mujhe bahut saare students aake kahte hai, ma’ám. Hum logo ne bahut padhai kari thi lekin examination hall mein jaake blank ho gaye. Blank matlab kya? Koi blank kyu hota hai? Agar vo bahut jyada nervous ho jaaye toh jitni bhi usne padhai kari hogi sab bhul jayega aur blank ho jayega. Yaani nervousness ko kaise handle karein? Right before the exam what should you do so that you will not be nervous in the examination hall? Mein apko ek bahut hi purani baat bataungi, hazaro saalo se apne bahut se logo se suni hogi, not only during the examination, before and after the examination also it’s very very important that you have a good diet, a nice time-table. With time-table, I mean a very very balanced and sturdy time-table. Like I will tell you, student I was talking to a few days ago, she had come with the time-table jisme koi time sone ka nahi tha, she was studying almost 24*7. So 3 ya 4 ghante usne rakhe the sone ke liye baki pure time she was studying. If you study like that, do you think you will be able to do better or worse? What do you think? Anything that you continuously do will never be helpful. Idea ye hai ki mein jyada padungi toh mein jyada kar lungi. But aisa hota nahi hai, you have to take a beak of say about 10 minutes after every 45 minutes that you study. And with the balanced time-table, I mean time for studying, time for your hobbies, time for good fun.

Kya apko pata hai, if you run for 10 minutes or 15 or 20 minutes and you are sweating, thoroughly soaked with sweat, really tired and then you start studying, what do you think padhai achchi hogi ki buri hogi? If you have been studying for 2-3 hours continuously aur uske jagah pe aap 45 minutes padhai karke aur 10 minute bhag ke aate hai, poora paseene se lathpath hai and then you sit and start studying. In the second instance you will do better. Because all the running will make you active all over again also you have taken a break from your studies. You know that is going to create another level of alertness. When your mind is alert and aware you pick up more, you absorb better. Instead of sitting for 2-3 hours and studying, please keep a break of 10 minutes. One another important thing that I would like to say is, if you understand the forgetting ka curve then you will know that in the first 24 hours, the chances to forget what you have studied is highest, which means if you revise within the first 24 hours of what you have studied your chances to forget become lesser. But humare saath kya hota, students kya karte hai, itna saara pending hai maám humne toh ye padh liya, next uspe chala gaya, fir next uspe chala gaya. That is exactly what you should not do. So please understand aap jaldi aur jyada karne ke chakkar mein thik ulta-ulta kar rahe ho, ekdum galat galat. You don’t need to study continuously, take a break. Then what did I say, a balanced time-table, in that it is important that you have other things also with studying, like your hobby, or games. Jaise meine pahle kaha tha, jab bachche weak hone lagte hai, tab mummy papa tuition mein daal dete hai, game wagaira khelna sab band. This leads to further deterioration and interest in studies and also your abilities to do well in studies. Ulta karna hai, apko padhna hai then take a break, fir padhna hai then take a break.

Now the problem is that when a student go for a break, they forget to come back, that is the problem. You need to learn that break mein aap itna kuch na karein ki vo itna jyada interesting ho ki you don’t feel like coming back to studying. Are you understanding what I am trying to say? It is very very important, baat ko samjho, break is break, it’s not like, maan lo ki apko lauki ki sabji bilkul nahi pasand hai and lauki ki jagah mummy ne apko pizza lake de diya ki aap pizza kha lo, toh ek baat batao, fir kya aap kabhi bhi lauki khaoge, no matter how healthy it is for you. So understand ki agar lauki khane ka mann nahi hai toh aap kuch aur, tinde ya kaddu aisa kuch agar milega option mein then you will say achcha inn dono mein se probably I will go for this. What I am trying to say is that in the break don’t do something so interesting that you don’t feel like coming back. Go for an errand, go for a ghar ka koi kaam or something like that, something like a break. Like I said, physical exercise, it really helps. So what I was telling you earlier was, I am going to tell you 2-3 things which everybody tells, it's very very common, a time-table should be there, a balanced time-table should be there, same with food, have good healthy food and exercise.

Now coming back to the blank thing that I was saying, nervousness, kyu hota hai? Because, you have not rested your mind, you have worked to yourself so much that you are worried ki kaise exam hoga? It is very very important that you learn to silence you mind, dimag ko thanda rakhna, silent rakhna, it is an art you have to learn. You have to invest 5 minutes everyday to learn to cool your mind. You could try Yoga, you could try guided meditation, youtube pe apko bahut saare videos mil jayenge for guided meditation. 5 minutes or 10 minutes of closing your eyes, sitting. And once you learn to calm down your intense emotions, you will also learn to calm down your intense emotions in the examination hall jisme intense emotion aana common hai. Mein iss umar mein bhi exam dene jaungi to mujhe intense emotion ayenge before the exam, it’s common. But bhul jaana, blank ho jaana, that’s not fair because it’s not giving you a chance to do as well as you would have done and also aap khud socho, kya ek rested mind behtar perform karega ya ek worked up mind jyada perform karega? You know, that a rested cool mind will perform better. So when you are in your cool mind, then you perform better. Understand that before you would start writing your exam. Problems chahe kitni bhi ho, kaise bhi ho, sabke solutions hai.

Thank you.