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Low libido can affect a relationship in a big way. Time and again, an individual, irrespective of their age, gender or occupation can go through phases of low libido. Decreased sexual desire over a longer period of time needs thorough investigation. It could be an indication of something big and serious lying ahead.
Critical factors that attribute to low libido are:
- Stress: An individual's mental and emotional state is greatly reflected in their sexual performance. A sound mental health can enhance a performance thousand folds. On the contrary, factors like depression, anxiety and stress, lowers the sexual desires in a person. To enjoy a healthy and normal sexual life, it is important to keep stress and chronically blue moods at bay.
- Sound sleep: The benefits of a sound sleep are beyond imagination. A good 6 - 8 hours of sleep can do your sexual desires or libido a world of good. A sleep deprived soul will be agitated and cranky, both on and off the bed. Continuous sleep deprivation can also lower the testosterone level, resulting in low libido.
- Smoking: A killer habit, which affects a person's sexual activity is smoking. Drug abuse and drinking (to some extent) can be equally responsible for a low libido.
- Change in weight: A sudden change in body weight (gain or loss) can play a significant role in low libido. Take pride in your body structure. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
- Take a break: Boredom can mask your sexual life greatly. Break the monotony, take short breaks, go on vacations and low libido will be a thing of the past. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
Are you aware of the different consequences that may occur if you have multiple sexual partners? The more sexual partners you have, the risks of you getting an STI or sexually transmitted infection are enhanced. These infections are hard to treat, especially in patients with HIV. Until the infection is treated, your viral load may get pushed up. This makes it more likely that many people pass on the HIV virus by having unprotected sex.
What are the circumstances?
If you have sex with several partners, and one of them is infected with an STI, the virus is capable of being passed between you and all your partners. Many people end up having sex with each other without asking about STIs. This is risky as you can never tell if a person is infected by looking at them or having sex with them. If you are in a relationship with a mutual agreement of having sex outside the relationship, you need to be open and honest regarding any risk that you might have taken is a necessary part of looking after the sexual health of each other.
Things to Keep in Mind:
People have multiple sexual partners because of various reasons. These may include the thrill of having sex, the need to be desired, and also because of drugs and alcohol use because of which inhibitions are reduced. However, drugs and alcohol are very harmful to your body, leaving a negative impact and weakening your immune system. Several drugs and excess alcohol consumption affect the way your immune system tackles STIs.
Alcohol and drugs also make it more likely for you to practice risky sex, and take decisions which are unusual and unlikely to you in a sober state. Clouded judgement makes you avoid condoms while having sex. This might make you have sex with a partner despite knowing that you have got HIV. When your judgement is clouded, you may even skip the part of telling your partner about the fact that you have HIV.
For minimising your risk, in spite of having multiple sexual partners, you must always carry condoms with you. You should also avoid having sex when under the influence of alcohol and drugs. These are effective steps you should take to protect yourself and your sexual partner or partners from getting affected by HIV. You can also join a support group or consult a counsellor for advice regarding your situation. Having multiple sexual partners can also result in psychological disturbances.
The act of pleasuring oneself is one topic, which has always been questioned by the society at large, but in reality it offers a number of benefits. Masturbation refers to the act of inducing sexual arousal and deriving pleasure from it by stimulating the genitals. This may be done using your own hands, sex toys, fingers or grouping together the effect of these. Mutual masturbation among partners is also a fairly common phenomenon. There are varied opinions on the topic, whether actual sexual penetration gives more pleasure or masturbation. Read on to find out what effect each has on your body and which one is more preferred by most people.
- Health benefits: Studies reveal that engaging in sexual intercourse is associated with a lot of health benefits like controlling your blood pressure level, keeping the prostrate and heart healthy for men, acting as a pain reliever etc. Masturbating may not affect your health in the way sex does, but it certainly has a different set of benefits, which includes preventing cancer, boosting immunity, reducing risks of premature ejaculation etc.
- Associated risks: Sexual intercourse often comes with various risks like STDs, if your partner is infected or chance of an unwanted conception, if unsafe sex is practised. Masturbation has comparatively lower health risks than sex, though it is not entirely free from drawbacks. You can get skin irritations and in rare cases, even penile fractures due to excessive masturbation.
- Effect on relationship: The quality and frequency of the sexual intercourse you have with your partner has a direct effect on your relationship. However, masturbation mostly does not involve your partner's participation and so doesn't visibly have a reflection on your relationship.
- Role in knowing your sexual preferences: In case of both men and women, masturbation helps people to identify their sexual preferences and things which give them greater pleasure. This usually leads to a more satisfying sex life and is considered to be easier than figuring out what pleases you while having sex.
Even after considering the above points, which one (either sex or masturbation) gives you more pleasure, completely depends on your personal preferences. If you wish to discuss about any specific sexual problem, you can consult a specilized sexologist and ask a free question.
Sharing small joys of life with pleasure is important and satisfying the needs of your partner is even more important. Oral sex can be a satisfying experience if it is mutually well received and enjoyed. According to observations made on the basis of surveys, both males and females like oral sex as a part of foreplay, but would rather prefer to end a sexual activity in intercourse.
Women have been found to enjoy cunnilingus, but they tend to accustom themselves to the practice of fellatio as their male partners cherish it. Very few women seem to be turned on by the action of going down on their men. Irrespective of these reported instances, oral sex is highly pleasurable. The pleasure, however, is not devoid of the looming threat of Sexually Transmitted Infections. A certain facts about oral sex can keep you aware.
These facts will help you know more about oral sex:
- Oral sex is not as risky as vaginal or anal sex, but it surely does involve chances of infections. These infections can be transmitted through fluid exchange, direct contact of genital parts and genital skin or from one person's mouth to another's genitalia or the other way round.
- Bacterial infections transmitted through oral sex can result in Syphilis, Herpes, Gonorrhea or Chlamydia. HIV is a rare case, but a possible outcome nonetheless.
- The presence of open cuts and wounds in a person's mouth can lead to STIs. Infectious blood is exchanged during oral sex or even during kissing.
A few precautionary measures to keep threats at bay:
- Use a saran or a cling wrap before you attempt to excite your lady's vulva. A cling wrap is an inexpensive device available in any other medicine shop. It is basically a sheet of plastic used to cover the vaginal area before two people get started with cunnilingus.
- In case of fellatio, non-lubricated condoms are the best advised solution. A condom is very effective in keeping you safe from harmful bacteria.
- Dental dams can also make you actively take part in the process of ensuring safety. Dental dams are available in various flavors such as vanilla, grape and strawberry.
Oral Sex is most rewarding when it has no adverse effects on your health. Therefore, care should be taken to follow some preventive measures for your own good.
Keeping things interesting is the key along with enticing your partner. A healthy relationship is equivalent to having a healthy sex life. It is important for each of you to please each other in bed to keep the excitement and the passion alive.
Here's what you can do to keep your man happy in bed:
- Filthy talk: Filthy talk is a sex play that involves sexual and sensual phrasing to drive your partner crazy. You can enhance your sexual experience by sharing your deepest and wildest fantasies and desires with your partner you can charge him up.
- Be the first one to strip: Men generally don't expect you to take the initiative to take off your clothes first. If you take the initiative, your partner is not only going to be surprised, but will go crazy too. This also makes him feel how much you want him.
- Be adventurous: Every couple has normal sexual intercourse. But when some adventure is added to it, your sex life gets that much needed break from the monotony. Try out blindfolds, handcuffs or different sex positions to make it interesting.
- Go for a blowjob: Going down on your man is the best pleasure you can give him. Give yourself a little trouble in finding out the position in which it works well.
- Massage his prostate for the ultimate orgasm: Orgasm from a prostate massage is deep, intense and powerful. Many men get stimulated by this as the area around the anus is extremely sensitive.
Related Tip: "3 Yogic Positions for a Better Sex Life"
Many men claim to get by on 4 to 5 hours of sleep a day, but robbing the body of its required sleep has a number of side effects. The human body requires a minimum of 8 hours of sleep a day. There are two main reasons men don't get enough sleep: intentionally staying awake late at night and sleep disorders, such as insomnia, sleep apnea etc.
Here's how depriving your body of sleep can harm your sexual health:
- Less testosterone: The male body produces testosterone while he sleeps. When the body does not get adequate sleep and rest, it produces less testosterone. As the insomnia continues, this situation worsens. This leads to a low sex drive and poor libido.
- Low self esteem: Testosterone also influences the way the body stores fat and hence less testosterone can also lead to gynecomastia. This is condition where male bodies develop breasts as a result of an increase in body fat. Lowered testosterone levels in a male body also lead to reduced muscle strength and hence an overall lower sense of well-being.
- Erectile dysfunction: Inadequate sleep can result in obstructive sleep apnea. This is linked to the lowered levels of testosterone in the body as patients with sleep apnea do not reach the stage of REM sleep when testosterone is produced. Thus, sleep apnea can lead to erectile dysfunction where a man is unable to get or maintain an erection while having sex.
- Low sperm count: Testosterone plays an important role in sperm production. The relation between the two is simple: the higher the testosterone levels; the more the body produces sperm. Thus, if you do not get adequate sleep, your sperm count can be affected leading to infertility.
- Sexual misunderstanding: Sleep deprivation can affect your decision making and understanding of the other person's intentions. Thus, if you haven't slept properly, you are more likely to make uncalled for sexual advances and misunderstand your partner's sexual expectations.
- Accelerates aging: The body sheds dead cells and grows new cells while it sleeps. Thus, if the body is deprived of adequate sleep, the gaining process is accelerated. Not only does this bring on an early onset of wrinkles but it also lowers your sexual drive. Lowered testosterone may also lead to early balding.
- Fatigue: If the body doesn't get its required rest, you start the day feeling tired instead of refreshed. As the day goes on, this tiredness increases and is accompanied by irritability and aggression. When you're in such a bad moon and constantly tired the chances of wanting to be physically intimate with another person decrease.
The best first-time sex advice you'll ever get!
Anything that's done the first time can be nerve wrecking. It holds true for sex also. For men, it would be all about being able to perform; women, on the other hand, usually look at sex as an indicator of a relationship's potential.
Whether you're a woman or a man, keep these points in mind to make the best of the first time together with your partner.
1. Don't go in with a lot of expectations
You need to remember that sex improves with time as you become more comfortable with each other. Sex for the first time is not the be all and end all of the things; it's just the first of the several that you'll be having.
2. Breathe to release tension
Long and deep breaths are the key to beating the tension that gets built up around having sex for the very first time. This small tip can help to make your first less stressful, and more amazing.
3. Don't forget to kiss or miss foreplay
A study in the evolutionary psychology reveals that only 1 out of 7 women agrees to sleep with men without indulging in foreplay first. Men must remember that women are not always on the lookout for just sex, but something beyond that. Men should try to reassure the women with lots of kissing and touching. They could begin by planting gentle kisses.
4. Descend slowly
On an average, it takes about 8 minutes for a woman to be aroused before she desires her clitoris to be stimulated. Doubling, this time, is a good practice as it takes that much to reach orgasm. Spending 15 minutes of your time playing around with your partner's body before descending is what you should aim for during your first time.
5. Don't blame yourself
Women tend to blame themselves if their partner experiences erection difficulty or premature ejaculation. But such problems are typical, with the root cause being anxiety surrounding the occasion than you. So don't waste time beating yourself up over it, rather enjoy the moment. As many as 80% women cannot reach orgasm through sexual intercourse.
6. Every sexual encounter is distinct
It's very common for folks who are having sex for the first time to not speak up and let their partner know what's making them feel good and what's not. This is incorrect. You should not assume that your partner is an expert on sex. Even if he or she is more experienced than you, every sexual encounter is not the same. This holds true for men as well as for women. So be open and talk about what turns on you on.
Related Tip: 5 Do's + Don'ts for a Healthy Sex Life