Doctor in Bye Tense
Treatment of Depression
Treatment & Management of Stress
Treatment of Mood Disorder
Treatment of Eating Disorders
Treatment of Anxiety and Depression
Treatment Of Anxiety Attacks
Treatment of Panic Disorders
Treatment of Stress at Work
Treatment of Bipolar Disorder
Anger Management Therapy
Treatment of Behaviour & Thought Problems
Treatment of Sleep Apnea
Treatment of Hyperactivity Disorder
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Treatment of Personality Disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Treatment
Treatment of Psychosis
Treatment of Suicidal Behavior
Treatment of Sleep Disturbance
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Patient Review Highlights
Great. She was patient, listened to everything i said and helpful. But i think it's little costlier.
Dr. Nisha Khanna provides answers that are very helpful. because i am an ocd patient
Great ande very helpful
Hii sir/mam muze anxiety hai 8 mahinose aur panic attack bhi aate hai. To me kese ise cure karu. Aur ayurvic medicine jese ki ashvgandha ka upyog kar sakta hu kya. Aur kitane time tak lene ka aur uska dose kya hoga. How to cure my anxiety? Please sir reply.
Emotional Intimacy is an important aspect of an interpersonal relationship and focuses on the level of the emotional bond that the couple shares. For a marriage to work emotional intimacy is as important as sexual intimacy. Emotional intimacy can instill positive feelings and can lead to better relations. On the other hand, a lack of emotional intimacy can lead to a feeling of loneliness and emptiness in either of the partner and tend to distance themselves from each other.
Lack of Self-Awareness-
Every partner needs to identify and understand their own needs which could range from the need to be heard to the need of being touched. Many times we are not able to understand that what we desire from oneself which can make it difficult to understand the needs of the partner too.
Lack of expression-
These problems arise due to communication problems. We are in many situations not able to understand how and when should be put across our expectations and desires. It is important to understand that “How”, “When”, Where” and “How much” to put across.
Sharing about things that you fear is also essential. Many times the couple is not able to share openly because the partner doesn’t want to lose individuality and also in many cases the partner feels that the spouse won’t be able to understand the feelings. In a relationship, the partner tends to go through two types of fear. First, to lose their own individuality and the other one is to lose their partner. Rather than staying in the grey area, it is important to move forward and share such feelings with one another.
Stress can cause fatigue and leave people tired. It leaves the person drained with no strength to sit and communicate. Under the stressful situation, people tend to like to have their own space, in order to clear mind. This soon becomes a vicious circle, where rather than communicating about the problem, partners take an easy road of keeping things to themselves.
Trust is very important that binds two people together. It is important to trust each other and share every minute detail. Many times people are in dilemma regarding whether to share their heart out or not, this is mainly due to the fact partner feels that the spouse doesn’t have the intention to understand or lacks the potential to do so.
Too many arguments can have a negative effect on marriage. When the disagreement issues are on the rise, people tend to feel that their partner is not able to understand and support their viewpoint. As a result, the couple might feel that they are incompatible with each other and does not feel necessary to even share their life as there is no agreement n trust.
Many times low self-esteem can influence emotional intimacy. It is common not only for men but also for women to have low-esteem. It can take a toll on a person’s relationship and can create certain inhibitions that they find difficult to resolve. When the person is criticized by their partner for petty things this can create a feeling of low self-confidence. With time this turns into a vicious cycle where the partner doesn’t connect spouse with a fact of being disapproved again.
Feelings of resentment can be due to unresolved issues in your relationship. It can make them pull away and withdraw affection and make them emotionally distant. If there aren’t any evident issues that you can think of, then the fact that your partner may feel unacknowledged may lead to major trouble.
Lack of Emotional Intimacy can be due to a variety of reasons rather than forming a strong conclusion about the same, discussing with your partner can help to reach a solution. Listening can actually accelerate communication and also helps your spouse to open up. It is good to know that all of these factors can be repaired to restore the relationship back to being emotionally satisfying. It is very essential to open up and disclose your deepest thoughts and emotions so that you constantly learn about yourself and partner so that the connection becomes stronger.
When a couple is having an emotional discord in their relationship/marriage, seeking help from relationship expert or a professional marriage counselor is very essential. Lack of emotional intimacy can instill feelings of loneliness, self-doubt, infidelity, blame game and so on. Thus, seeking help from a Marriage counselor can help you solve these issues.
- It helps to Resolve Compatibility Issues.
- It helps in Dealing with Expectations.
- It helps in Effective Communication.
- It helps to learn Relationship Management Techniques.
- It helps in Resolution for Conflicting Interests.
- It helps in Issues Dealing with Intimacy and Comfort Levels.
- It helps to Become Familiar with Each Other Attributes and Wants.
- It helps to learn Enrichment Techniques for Lasting Marriage.
- It helps for Long-Term Career Prospects and Financial Aspirations.
- It helps to Understand Common Issues/Challenges that Couple is most likely to face in a Marriage in Near Future.
- Benefits of Learning more about Each Other Differences and Taste will Help them to Build a Better Relationship.
- Pre-marital counseling reduces the Risk of Divorce 40%.
Many times people enter into relationships with unrealistic expectations from their partners and from the relationship itself, idealizing it to be perfect. This often leads to a lot of struggle and eventually to disappointment causing unhealthy behaviors and this turns their fairytale into a nightmare overnight. A healthy relationship requires trust, honesty, equality and most of all mutual respect and these are the exact things that we often find missing in a relationship. So what are the realistic expectations?
Let’s dive in.
1. Where two people begin to spend a lot of time together, disagreements and arguments are bound to take place. It is normal for your partner to feel angry at you or unintentionally hurt you sometimes. There will be fights so when things are getting heated, a more sensible thing would be to be mindful about the words you choose to communicate any issues to your partner.
2. Your partner will feel irritable and at times be emotionally unavailable for you when you need them. Your partner can have bad days when he/she is going through a rough patch, probably at work or with some friend that would cause them to be in a bad mood. You should give your partner space to recuperate and also find your own coping strategies; have hobbies and friends of your own with whom you can spend time.
3. People who are in relationships also have lives outside the relationship and depending upon the circumstances their priorities can change. You can expect your partner to spend quality time with other people also or at times miss an important event that you had planned with them. For example, your partner may have to skip a lunch date because their mother fell sick and they had to go to visit them. As much as it is unhealthy to spend little time together it is also unhealthy to be spending too much time together.
4. Partners in a relationship are human beings and humans make mistakes. To accept that your partner is as human as you are and that they may have their own weaknesses and flaws will help you to forgive your partner’s mistakes. You will be able to move past it and live a harmonious life with your partner.
5. Sometimes you have to express your feelings to your partner verbally so that they know what you are expecting from them. Feelings and expectations can be best understood by another person if they are communicated to them clearly. At the same time, It is also realistic to expect that your partner won’t be able to read your mind.
6. Your partner’s opinions and views will differ from your own and sometimes if you alter or change your opinion about something because of your partner, it does not make you small or less of a person. You can, in turn, express your views or your logic to your partner respectfully if you disagree with them. Active listening, compassion, understanding and kindness are more important to sustain a long lasting healthy relationship.
7. Expect that ‘change is constant’ in relationships. Your partner can express love and feelings of affection to you in a different way which will be a new experience for you. With time and age, every person grows and changes along with their feelings. However, that does not mean that the love and concern for you have faded away. It only means that your partner has become comfortable with you and doesn’t feel the need to please you.
8. Every relationship goes through ups and downs. Expect your relationship to be imperfectly perfect. You have not to compare your partner with others and think how happy they are in their relationship. Your partner may have certain qualities which others may not have. The comparison will only make you feel worse about your own partner and find all sorts of flaws in him/her. Remember, the grass always seems to be greener on the other side.
Problems arise because we assume the other person shares our expectations. But when something doesn’t go the way we think it should, we feel frustrated, disappointed and even angry.
Problems arise because we assume the other person shares our expectations. But when something doesn’t go the way we think it should, we feel frustrated, disappointed and even angry. Problems arise because we assume the other person shares our expectations. But when something doesn’t go the way we think it should, we feel frustrated, disappointed and even angry.
A marriage counselor or relationship expert can help you understand your own expectations, as well as your partner’s, and showing a willingness to reach a common ground. A marriage counselor can help you explore effective ways to avoid the frustrations and pain of unmet expectations and build a stronger connection.
This is a case of couple counselling where we helped Mr and Mrs Singh resolve their marital issues as their marriage was not consummated for 2 years. Rajeev (28) and Deepali (26) had an arranged marriage. Their marriage was fixed by a mutual relative.
During the individual history taking a session with the husband, it was observed that he had a performance anxiety issue, doubts and inhibitions. Even before getting married, he had such anxiety issues. He was also under stress due to his job. He thought getting married would give him the companionship and support he had been seeking. In turn, getting married added up more to his stress, for which he also reported to be suffering from severe depressive symptoms.
Rajeev is quite an introvert, who has never shared his issues much. He is also very sensitive and takes things to his heart. Rajeev did this marriage just for the sake of parents. He wanted to do love marriage but both families didn’t agree n they both parted away. He reports that the level of stress and his depression started to make him feel unhappy n he was unable to maintain the balance due to past. He was struggling through this phase and mentioned that it decreased his motivation to do anything. He rarely spent time with his wife. Last but not least, he even commented that instead of his wife supporting him, she started cribbing which resulted in a rift between them.
In the individual history taking sessions with the wife, she complained of having regular fights with her husband as well as her in-laws. She added that she had a job before marriage and now she has to stay at home as a homemaker. She had been brought up in a family where the maids looked after the household chores and she never stayed at home. She is not even aware of how to cook or manage any household chores. Learning and adjusting will take time, she claimed. She even pointed out that her husband is not very adventurous as she wanted him to be; he has inhibitions to take a risk or to try anything new.
Deepali never had any relationship before getting married. Her exposure to sexual intimacy was quite new and both are shy by nature. Rajeev is low in confidence where Deepali is fearful in experiencing pain during physical. While during sexual intimacy, whenever she complained about pain, Ranveer’s confidence shocked badly n he used to withdraw himself n turned off.
With the help of counselling, Rajeev overcame his negative thoughts and has adapted towards a positive way of thinking. We also made them open up to explore new things and take risks, and encouraged him to even think of the new venture which he was afraid of getting into. On the other hand, Deepali was helped to establish a better means of communication, helping her respond logically without cribbing, along with to think positive n open about sexual pleasures. With time, their sexual life became normal n regular.
The couple was also provided with an insight into each other’s personality and support in developing a better understanding between them. They were also helped to be appreciative towards each other and to socialise and spend quality time together. Now they are happy with their marriage and are blessed with two lovely kids.
Starting a conversation helps to build interpersonal relationships which brings the people close to each other. This is the difficult step as the person has to leave their comfort zone and initiate a conversation which helps them to gain confidence and know about them better.
There are three types of behavioral pattern which we use in our interpersonal relationships.
- Withdrawal Behavioral Pattern-
When we hide and we do not express our feelings. In this pattern, we withdraw physically and mentally from others.
- Aggressive Behavioral Pattern-
Due to our own emotional insecurity, we go against people and hurt them with our nasty actions and abusive behavior. Because of this people stop coming close to us.
- Assertive Behavioral Pattern-
It is a positive and healthy approach to a relationship/ marriage where we gratify each other’s needs. It involves mutual respect, understanding and care. In the process of self-disclosure, trust is the base of interpersonal relationships. It builds up when we risk ourselves by disclosing our thoughts, feelings and reactions to each other. This helps to decrease the distance created in our interpersonal relationships.
So, when we discuss distance, we maintain two levels of relationships. One is social relationships (public) and another is personal relationships (private).
In this approach, we recognize acquaintances immediately and exchange some obligatory conversations.
2. Exploratory approach
In this approach, we move one step ahead to make our conversations meaningful. We discuss politics, sports and our basic interests of day to day life.
1. Participative Approach-
We take interest in knowing the person, personal thoughts, feelings, needs and more. In this approach, to develop a personal friendly relationship, we talk about ourselves and our personal matters which further motivates another person to open up and disclose more about self.
As we discuss our sorrows, joys, likes, dislikes, hobbies, expectations and other views; we further move towards intimacy and closeness because of the same wavelength. This way the bond of companionship develops between the two and we keep communicating good or bad experiences, agreements or disagreements and etc.
Further, through the transparency of self-disclosure, we are able to develop genuinely and authentically trustful relationship/ marriage.
This is a case of couple counselling where we helped Mr and Mrs Sahani solve their adjustment and intimacy issues. Mr Aaditya (40) and Mrs Aamaya (38) had a love marriage 15 years ago. Before their marriage, they dated each other for about 5 years, where they developed an immediate connection. Initially, they were quite happy in their marriage, but sooner or later they lost spark and the level of intimacy got affected badly due to the practical mundane things. Primarily their families didn’t agree for the marriage due to cultural differences. Both convinced their families and got married with their consent and blessings.
During the individual counselling sessions with Aamaya, we got to know that she was born and brought up in a Bengali family. She lived in a nuclear family and has a younger sister. She was a pampered child and belonged to an upper-middle-class family. Both the parents were equally sharing all household chores. Whereas, Aditya belonged to a Punjabi family. He lived in a joint family with his grandparents as well as an uncle and aunt and they followed the patriarchal system. Just like Aamaya he also has a younger sister, but the family is quite conservative.
Aamaya never lived in a joint family, so, it was very difficult for her to manage with the in-laws. Due to this, she was facing a lot of adjustment issues. There was a misunderstanding between her and the in-laws and power struggle was also an issue. She complained about the in-laws over expectations and husbands maltreatment in the form of negligence and ignorance towards her as a partner.
Due to various reasons, their marriage is losing charm. They have no privacy as a couple, even their 13-year-old daughter is still sleeping between them. Aamaya doesn’t like the participation of her in-laws in the upbringing of her daughter as she doesn’t want to ingrain their values and beliefs. Due to the over-involvement with her daughter, she is left with no time for self-management. She loves to do shopping on and off to make herself happy and socialising with friends.
While Aditya also complained about his mother and wife’s frequent quarrels and arguments related to household chores and raising of their daughter. As per him, Aamaya lacks time management, she doesn’t want to be a homemaker and rarely gives time to the in-laws. Which he considers being very disrespectful. They have 3-4 part-time workers at home with 1 full-time maid for assistance. As per him, she doesn’t give time to him and their emotional, as well as physical intimacy, is also lost. Both are living as strangers in their own home. Even if he initiates to make love, she feels that he just wants to physical.
Together they realised that it’s because of their daughter that they are continuing with marriage, otherwise the love has been long lost somewhere. They also fear for the fact that regular fights and conflicts are having a negative impact on their daughter.
With the help of counselling, we helped Aamaya in developing self-management, time management along with a better relationship with in-laws, as her husband is very close to his parents and respects them very much. They are advised to make their daughter sleep in a separate room.
Most importantly, they are guided to spend individual time with their daughter and to leave her with the grandparents, especially when they are going out together as a couple. This would help them to spend quality time (30-45 min./day) and even revise the time of the affair. Simultaneously, it would also benefit the grandparents to establish a bond with their grandchild. They are also advised for a family (including parents) outing once in a fortnight. Hence, counseling helped the couple to get the lost spark back and enjoy their relationship as they used to and even better.
This is a case wherein a school counsellor for children referred parents to visit us. Navya (13) used to be a topper but lost interest and motivation with the passage of time. Her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Mehra, came to us for counselling.
During the counselling session, we observed that her parents – Rohan (37) and Neha (36) – had temperamental issues and differences in child-rearing practices. They had an arranged marriage 15 years ago, after a courtship period of 1 year; they found each other through an online matrimonial site.
Rohan belongs to a business family. He lived with his parents and younger sister. He wanted to join the army but due to his family, he gave up his dream. His father established the entire business and wanted him to join the business. His introvert and submissive nature made him follow in his father’s footsteps. He obediently agrees to whatever his father says, and has no say in decision-making. Even after marriage, he is financially dependent on his father.
On the other hand, Neha is quite an extrovert and has a dominant personality. She also belonged to a business family and was habitually a spendthrift with no responsibilities. She has no siblings and lived with her parents. She was a pampered child.
In further counselling sessions, we got to know that after marriage they faced a lot of compatibility issues because of their temperament. Rohan didn’t like his wife’s habit of spending money and disrespecting his parents. While Neha wants him to take a stand in front of his own parents. She also didn’t like his habit of asking money from parents. Rohan didn’t want to go against them by any means and wanted Neha, too, to seek their permission before doing anything. Neha was already having plenty of differences with the in-laws due to her careless nature.
In no time their communications turned into arguments and created a rift between them. Neha demanded a separate floor and kitchen with no bounding. She consistently cribbed and forced him to become independent even in the business. Rohan didn’t like the very thought of it, especially being too attached to his parents and sharing a good bond with them. But after being ill-treated for the same by his own wife he had no choice. There were moments when she emotionally blackmailed him, didn’t communicate and even started having meals separately. Although he started living an independent life on separate floor 1.5 years after the marriage, he didn’t want to get separated from the business.
After getting separated from his parents, he felt isolated (stopped socialising completely) and developed the feelings of loneliness. He felt quite lonely until Navya took birth during the third year of their marriage. She was the only source of joy and happiness in his life. He was really concerned about her. With time Rohan and Neha stopped interacting with each other for no reason. Neha was having a good time with her friends and started neglecting him.
With the help of counselling, Rohan learnt to say no to others, including Neha. We also made Rohan socialise with friends and family and start prioritising himself. Whereas, Neha was asked to fix a monthly budget and to stop complaining and cribbing to her husband. She was also advised to pass the message of “we as a parent” and not “mummy and papa”. We guided her to have a working relationship with the in-laws as Rohan is still working with his parents and living in their house. Both of them were also advised to spend private time as a couple as well as a family. We suggested both of them to spend time with Navya individually while taking an initiative in helping Navya with her studies.
Now they are having a healthy relationship with each other and Family.
With the increasing work pressure and tensions around, having a happy and healthy relationship seems to be more of a dream these days. After working so hard throughout the day in the office, people become more self-oriented, eventually ignoring the needs and interests of their partners. So, the problems usually start here. To solve this problem of yours, psychology has some secrets which can fetch amazing results for your relationship.
Keeping a realistic view of what may come in the future will help you with a healthy approach to every single thing and even your relationships. So even if visiting a relationship counselor can do the work for you, it should be considered as an option, culminating all odds.
The counselors interact with you in different sessions and bring out the actual reason behind your problems. Just don’t shy away and speak your heart out to get the most benefits out of these sessions.
- A realistic view: They bring you to the real world and tell you where the relationship is standing actually. They listen to all your problems, and you have someone to talk to without the fear of being judged.
- The working area: If you’re honest enough in your approach, they will tell you where to put in your effort to make your relationship work.
- Some private time: Spending some time together, trying to enact on the points you have been advised by the counselor, will form the bond again.
- Much needed space: Everybody needs some separate moments, and you are no exception. Think what you exactly want from this relationship and give some lonely time to your partner as well to work on it.
- Q&A sessions: The counselors tend to understand your real feelings by making you talk. Think of all those beautiful moments; you’ll have your answers there.
- Differences: Don’t expect your partner to change overnight and help him in fighting with his own flaws. Be on his side, even when you are in the counselor’s chamber to show your support towards the relationship. Listen to what the counselor has to say.
- Respect: Whatever you give will come back to you, and your relationship is not an exception. Your spouse is also a human and is expected to make mistakes. You learn how to deal with this part in your sessions.
- Honesty: The backbone of a relationship, honesty in future endeavors is the key to a harmony filled relationship. Work on it if it lacks because the counselors cannot help you without it.
- Communicate gently: Don’t interrupt; instead listen to what your partner has to say.
- Keep your cool: Control your anger while talking. It can be disruptive and destructive at the same time. You’ll not be able to even listen to what the counselor has to say.
Take a deep breath, approach a counselor, recreate the magic and make your relationship work. It is as special as it was in the beginning.
Men and Women are different and so are their demands. In order to work through marriage, it just doesn’t require love but also a level of right understanding. When you completely understand and realize your role in a relationship, you become more contended. In such a stable atmosphere you tend to grow closer.
Many times we tend to love our partner but we are not able to understand them. Love is just not enough to work through the relationship in today’s scenario. Understanding is a multifaceted concept. It essential for a couple to learn each other’s needs and wants. Every marriage requires the couple to walk on the same track rather than on parallel ones.
Having a right understanding is considered to be one of the basic aspects of being happy in a marriage. Thus, people who are high in EQ are not just able to understand their own emotions but those of other’s as well. This quality helps them to form a better relationship with others. On the other hand, lack of understanding can stir up negative emotions.
Communication helps to open the path to right understanding. Only when you’re able to communicate what you desire and what you expect from each other, you’ll be able to reach to the same level. One of the reasons for lack of understanding is because of the power struggle. When the power struggle comes in between a couple they become emotionally charged and the ego tends to set in. Thus the couple tends to put each down.
Listening is an essential part of communicating; it is essential on the part of the partner to listen and comprehend what the spouse has to say rather than jumping to conclusions. It is necessary to pay attention to what the partner has to say.
The other reason can be compatibility problems, no matter how hard the couple tries; they are just not able to come to a common ground. However, if your partner is not supportive, it leads to less communication and can strain relationship both now and in the future. Thus, this is an unhealthy dynamic in any relationship and needs to be addressed to prevent damage or conflict. It is believed and portrayed by various movies and shows that the husband and wife are barely able to take a joint decision and are always bickering over small petty issues, which can be pointed to lack of understanding.
3. Emotional State
It is important on the part of the spouse to pay attention to a partner’s emotional state and also provide an opportunity to let confide. Doing activities together and inspiring each other at every step to move forward can lead to happiness in marriage and makes the bond stronger.
4. Mutual Decisions
Listen to each other and try to take mutual decisions. Also, give each other the room to work things out. Take good care of details for each other. Also, try to together work out a schedule and dependably accomplish it.
In order to develop a stronger relationship, the couple should try and understand the root cause from where the problem arises. In case spouse is emotional and delicate, it is important to lend a sympathetic hand.
When you try to appreciate one another, it can lead to new hope and you become eager to work on your marriage. Empathy is very essential to restore the level of understanding, only when you can put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to comprehend their viewpoint.
Understanding can be associated with very basic day to day activities or can be related to any major event in life. Many times even if a partner makes the effort to be a little understanding, the other partner is not appreciative of the fact and takes it for granted which can arise many new issues.
Lacking the right understanding can lead to unhappiness and discords. Due to that sometimes couple struggle throughout married life. So, we need to have the right understanding to resolve the disagreements at all level n earliest too. Every individual has some sort of understanding but having the right kind of understanding is what makes a couple stronger.
It is important to address the conflicts when they arise rather than ignoring the issues. Delay will lead to the piling up of issues and may become difficult to resolve. Don’t wait to seek a relationship expert or professional marriage counselor when problems get out of hand.