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A new relationship involves a lot of weighing from both the sides. Learn what really matters to win people over in this post. When you want to build a new relationship, whether it is for work, business, personal, marriage, friendship etc there are several factors that help take off and bloom the relationship. These factors are broadly the same in different age groups as far as psychological impact matters. Some of the most important influential factors from a psychological point of view have been highlighted here.
1. Presentation- When you want to draw someone into relationship with you for any reason, it is important that you present yourself at you best levels be it physical or mental. Like they say that the first impression is the best impression, your display of you strengths creates an impression that helps people decide what they want to do with you. This doesn't mean you should hide all your weaknesses but highlighting your strengths is as important as making your weaknesses clear. Always learn to put your best foot forward as sometimes that itself may not be enough. You can't really send your neighbour for your job interview!! There are many instances when people send different photographs in their applications and different ones appear for the exams. This is mere cheating and not winning.
2. Plan – Let people know what you want to do with them and what they can they can do with you. No one can say they don’t have a plan. There is always some plan. Knowing it strengthens why you want to have that relationship in the first place. Otherwise it's like something which is there but you can never want to do anything with! When you are honest with your plans and they workout as you described it, it creates confidence in relationship or else it is destroyed forever. You can cheat a person with your plans once, not forever.
3. Possibilities- Will this relationship bring me trouble? Obviously nobody wants to get into a relationship with anybody that brings them trouble be it physical or mental. Next question is whether it will benefit me? Small or big depends on person's needs. Some relationships neither bring us trouble nor benefits us, such relationships are better than the ones which can cause harm.
4. Potential – Question. Does this relationship you are trying to develop have any possibilities of growth a few or many years down the line. Obviously we have a lot of friends who wither by passing of time. Does this relationship have an expiry date irrespective of how well or bad it goes? Like when we join college we know for sure that the friends will be with us till the duration of the course and that's it. We will know that if we study together it will help us achieve great grades in college and hence a great life later. These kind of growth possibilities or possibilities of deterioration are important to be well aware of and will naturally decide the course of relationships.
5. Progress – No matter what our initial assessments are, how the relationships helps us fare in the outside world will ultimately decide the future of any relationship. Loss, sorrow, tragedy, degradation in any aspect of life, insults, injury, loss of health etc will never help any relationship continue or last.
6. Partnerships – When we want to build a relationship with someone, the best way to do it is to obviously partner with that person in as many activities as possible. The more interested a person is the more activities that person will involve you in and try to do it with you. This type of partnership activities, be it spending a few hours in the evening, or a few minutes on phone, or an association of months or years are a foolproof way to show you are interested. Conversely a person who doesn't partner with you in anything is extremely unlikely to ever have any sort of relationship with you. Partnership in activities is the only way to show and know that you are interested or the other person is interested respectively. After all chasing the moon, stars and rainbow are activities of people who don’t realize its out of their reach. Sensible people are busy with what their eyes see, hands feel, ears listen, tongue tastes and thinking perceives as appropriate.
7. Positioning attitudes- As a tree bends with the winds to prevent from cracking, we all have to be flexible with our attitudes towards each other. Being too rigid about our protocol on how relationships should run irrespective of the reality and circumstances of the person we are having a relationship with is naturally going to break relationships. After all a doctor who heals and prevents all illnesses is better than a doctor who abuses his patients for falling ill but never does anything for them. Eg: You get bed and good food in a hotel as well as at your home. A hotel will provide food only on payment of money, but family will provide it whenever your hungry. Hence hotels can never expect the same emotions as family can, and this is as natural as it should be. Hence be careful what you want from a relationship. Whether you want to be treated as a hotel or family is entirely how you play yourself with others. After all only families can expect loyalty not hotels.
8. Politeness- In any relationship, many years down the line, what our long term memory retains is how comfortable we were in that relationship. Even if we profit from a particular relationship, the fact that it shook us mentally and emotionally will never allow us to go back or retain that relationship. Life is short and the only thing that matters is to spend it comfortably. Not destroy our peace for some benefit that destroys our peace of mind.
9. Personation- While sending a representative of your organization for a client meeting may work in business, you cant really send a representative to meet you wife or kids at home. In personal relationship, lack of your physical presence obviously means that you don’t have time for them. In any relationship, individuality matters a lot. Just imagine, if all actors acted exactly the same in movies, why would you prefer any particular one over the other as your favourite? The nuances and differences in our personalities are what makes us all unique. We are not robots from a particular brand to behave exactly the same way. If a person in a relationship doesn't sense your individuality you are wasting their time by trying to have a relationship with them, especially a personal one.
10. Positive reinforcement- When we get into a relationship, it is important that we feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. If you feel like a shoplifter entering a shop, you will not feel good about that relationship. When a shopkeeper welcomes us, shows us his products, tells us their details and provides all the explanations on how we will be well off with the product, provides his guarantee for it, confirms its essence, many people buy it even if they don’t compulsively need it. It’s the same in relationships. On the same side if a shopkeeper is arrogant, avoidant, abusive, insulting etc you are very unlikely to buy anything in that shop because you are not sure that the shopkeeper means any good and will be happy with the shopkeeper s product. The experience of buying is as important as the product we buy. Nobody is happy about something they got when they weren't treated the right way or is interested in retaining it when they don’t get good service for it.
11. Persistence on all Ps – Obviously when we want relationships to last, we need to be persistent on all the above P's. Otherwise it wont take long for a relationship to be counted in “once upon a time”!! A simple conversation even if for a few minutes every now and then when you need it may make it seem that you are still there for a person. Without even that people may even find it hard to remember that they even had something to do with you sometime before keeping in mind the the numerous activities we involve daily to maintain our lifestyles.
“KNOWING IS DOING AND NOT KNOWING IS UNDOING EVEN IF DOING!”
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Last month after sex I had periods but this month I'm missing it by 2, 3 days so I'm worried is I'm pregnant or what.
I am 35 running unmarried ovarian cancer survivor. My period has stop for 6 months now and started my joint fingers pain. Please help me what do I need to do. I have taken gestofit 300, modus 10 and loette tablet. Please suggest what should I do?
We are married for the past one and half year. We are trying for a child for the past 2 months. My wife is always telling my penis never fits. So she is asking for a sex toys first and try mine is that ok? her vagina is very small I can do fingering but don't know what to do ?
Age 39 years nine months marriage, not able to conceive. From last six months visited several gynae, my all reports are normal. There is little pcod detected. doctor suggested metformin and ovagrace sachets to take daily for three months. Kindly guide me will this medication will help me to conceive? I am very tensed since all my hormones as per doctor are normal. Thyroid is 3.
White discharge from vagina, is it possible after fertlization? It has happen before the week of menstural. What indication is this
If we have not a baby then, is threre any possibility for -On foreplay in sex time, shall come milk from breast?
I did my pregnancy test in morning morning around 11 O'clock. Second urine. And it was negative. I don't miss any period but my period wasn't proper. This was in March. But in April I got proper bleeding. And 5 days period on expected date. Any chances of me being pregnant? Q2. Period after having sex is obviously not proper right? I had sex in Feb. March was improper and in April I had proper one. So no chance of pregnancy right? I don't have any sex in april. Just scared.
Hello, I am taking i-pill in 2-3 months regularly for 5 time. I just wanted to know about the side effects. I have a little bit of PCO disease also. Please help me.
Hello. My friend want to prepared her periods. Please suggest some medicine to get periods with in 1 or 2 dayz.
Yesterday had a condom leak and I am doubtful if there had a sperm leak too. Can you suggest any emergency contraceptive pill like ipil. When I checked, heard that ipill is banned.
I am 23 year old female. My periods are delayed by 18 days and I also have checked my pregnancy on preganews test device and results are that I am not pregnant. However I am sure that I am not pregnant but do not know the reason of delay in periods. Is it the sign of my pregnancy by any means or what should I do to continue my periods? (I am a feeding mother of 6 month old baby)
I had unprotected sex with my fiancé on the day of my ovulation. He ejaculated outside but during sex I had some light bleeding. Why did I bleed and what are my chances of getting pregnant? Also to inform you, my periods are regular and my cycle lasts for up to 28 days.
As per doctor instruction I was inserted the Candid CL Vaginal Suppositories, 6 days continuously, after that it will not come, I took health foods, fruits, 2 liters of water, from this Sunday to Tuesday I don't take proper food on time, now again white discharge (like water) started, kindly advise me what to do on this issue. I am only 46 kg weight, looking very lean.
Each and every person on this planet has to deal with the loss of a loved one at some point of their life or the other. It is an undeniable and unavoidable part of the human existence. However, at times, the grief can affect the person so much that their psychological, emotional and physical health may be affected. Their normal day- to-day functioning may be affected as a result of their extreme reaction to the loss of their loved one. In such a case it is ideal to seek treatment from a certified medical professional such as a counselor or psychologist. If the condition is even more serious and the patient requires help to treat him or her, then it is advisable to go to a psychiatrist.
However, the following tips commonly given by mental health professionals may help to deal with such a loss:
- Accepting one's emotion: Sometimes an individual may remain in denial about the loss of the loved one or about his or her own reaction to it. This increases the negative emotion as it does not find a medium of expression. The person withdraws into himself or herself, and is slowly unable to conduct the usual daily activities. The first step therefore is to fully accept the reality of the event and one's own response to it. It can help to speak to a friend or family member about one's own response, or even release the grief by crying. Such cathartic avidities are the first step.
- Taking care of oneself: Often after the death of a loved one, an individual may become wary of his or her own condition and fail to look after himself or herself. This should be avoided. Normal diet, exercise and activities are required.
- Channeling grief into productive activity: Constantly focusing on the loss of the loved one can increase the trauma and stress. Sometimes it helps to focus on helping others, e.g. Volunteering at a charity or assisting others in some way. Even taking up artistic pursuits or any productive hobby proves to be beneficial. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Psychiatrist.