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For e. G I lost somebody close last year and since then feel very depressed and prefer keeping to myself all the time please help me.
The 5 Stages of Loss and Grief The stages of mourning and grief are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life. Mourning occurs in response to an individual’s own terminal illness, the loss of a close relationship, or to the death of a valued being, human or animal.
In our bereavement, we spend different lengths of time working through each step and express each stage with different levels of intensity. The five stages do not necessarily occur in any specific order. We often move between stages before achieving a more peaceful acceptance of death. Many of us are not afforded the luxury of time required to achieve this final stage of grief.
The death of your loved one might inspire you to evaluate your own feelings of mortality. Throughout each stage, a common thread of hope emerges: As long as there is life, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is life.
Many people do not experience the stages in the order listed below, which is okay. The key to understanding the stages is not to feel like you must go through every one of them, in precise order. Instead, it’s more helpful to look at them as guides in the grieving process — it helps you understand and put into context where you are.
All, keep in mind — all people grieve differently. Some people will wear their emotions on their sleeve and be outwardly emotional. Others will experience their grief more internally, and may not cry. You should try and not judge how a person experiences their grief, as each person will experience it differently.
1. Denial and Isolation
The first reaction to learning of terminal illness or death of a cherished loved one is to deny the reality of the situation. It is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock. We block out the words and hide from the facts. This is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain.
As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge. We are not ready. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger. The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Anger may be directed at our dying or deceased loved one. Rationally, we know the person is not to be blamed. Emotionally, however, we may resent the person for causing us pain or for leaving us. We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us more angry.
Remember, grieving is a personal process that has no time limit, nor one “right” way to do it.
The doctor who diagnosed the illness and was unable to cure the disease might become a convenient target. Health professionals deal with death and dying every day. That does not make them immune to the suffering of their patients or to those who grieve for them.
Do not hesitate to ask your doctor to give you extra time or to explain just once more the details of your loved one’s illness. Arrange a special appointment or ask that he telephone you at the end of his day. Ask for clear answers to your questions regarding medical diagnosis and treatment. Understand the options available to you. Take your time.
The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control–
If only we had sought medical attention sooner…
If only we got a second opinion from another doctor…
If only we had tried to be a better person toward them…
Secretly, we may make a deal with God or our higher power in an attempt to postpone the inevitable. This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality.
Two types of depression are associated with mourning. The first one is a reaction to practical implications relating to the loss. Sadness and regret predominate this type of depression. We worry about the costs and burial. We worry that, in our grief, we have spent less time with others that depend on us. This phase may be eased by simple clarification and reassurance. We may need a bit of helpful cooperation and a few kind words. The second type of depression is more subtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private. It is our quiet preparation to separate and to bid our loved one farewell. Sometimes all we really need is a hug.
Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone. Death may be sudden and unexpected or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. It is not necessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and to deny ourselves the opportunity to make our peace. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm. This is not a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression.
Loved ones that are terminally ill or aging appear to go through a final period of withdrawal. This is by no means a suggestion that they are aware of their own impending death or such, only that physical decline may be sufficient to produce a similar response. Their behavior implies that it is natural to reach a stage at which social interaction is limited. The dignity and grace shown by our dying loved ones may well be their last gift to us.
Coping with loss is a ultimately a deeply personal and singular experience — nobody can help you go through it more easily or understand all the emotions that you’re going through. But others can be there for you and help comfort you through this process. The best thing you can do is to allow yourself to feel the grief as it comes over you. Resisting it only will prolon
My father's age is 53 had undergone heart surgery last year what all the tests he need to do every year. He is still smoking. Can you tell the health tips he need to follow sir. Please answer sir.
I lost somebody close last year and since then fell very depressed and prefer keeping to myself all the time. Please help me.
I am a regular smoker. I am trying to quit smoking but it is so difficult. Tell me the way to quit it easily or what should I take so that it dies not affect my health too much.
I am a cigarette smoker. How to avoid cigarette. And how to clean throat kafa (dust) by a cigarette.
Is there a permanent cure for depression and other mental issues, what medicine is without side effects.
I have been suffering from headache since 3 days and unable to concentrate on my studies so please help me out of this.
Sir I amresh kumar want to know about symptom of depression, and how I overcome on it please tell me about it.
I am 27 years old male and I am suffering from depression from my job because of Sale pressure and breakup with my life partner, Kindly suggest What to do?
Hi sir mai b. Sc kar rha hu par mai jab b yaad krta ho to kuch der baad sb kuch bhule jata ho.Please tell me best treatment.
One year back, I had suffered from great depression because of which now I am not able to be again happy and healthy. Now I forget things and I have got discouraged. I have fear from meeting people. Please help me.
Hello doctors. I need a help from your side. My brother is judge drinker of wine. We are trying our best to withdraw this habit but we are fail. So need help from your side. Kindly share some tips will help to leave this habit. Thank you.
I am 20 years old boy. I easily get angry & hurt if someone says even a small thing against even in a humour. Please suggest some tips to cure this & become very strong mentally.
Sir/madam I am feeling weakness. My body is getting lose. I am also feeling anxiety. My body temperature is normal, and there is no any other problem in my body. So please advice me what is the problem and how to recover it. thank you.
Feeling tired all the time? Do you feel that you can’t focus on things anymore? Have you lost interest in things and people you once loved spending time with? Does your temper fly off the hook at the drop of a hat? If it is a ‘yes’ to the questions above, then you might be slowly but steadily succumbing to depression. Depression is a psychological disorder that is characterized by symptoms of extreme sadness, worthlessness and hopelessness over a prolonged period of time.
- Lack of Interest: This is probably the starkest of all the symptoms. Hobbies or activities that you used to enjoy once no longer catch your fancy. You do not find little or no pleasure in social activities or any other hobby of yours anymore.
- A constant Feeling of Hopelessness: You tend to develop a negative outlook towards life in general, as you feel that the current situation will never get better and will only worsen.
- Loss of Appetite: Loss of appetite is a common feature of depression; it can also lead to rapid weight loss. If engulfed by depression, one generally tends to ignore food completely, remain hungry, both of which contribute to the vicious cycle that depression is.
- Changes in Sleep Patterns: Insomnia is a condition that is marked by a sheer inability to sleep, no matter how physically exhausted one is. Depression tends to exhibit this particular symptom in maximum cases. However, oversleeping, or sleeping more than the sufficient hours is also common.
- Reckless Behavior: Depression makes one more prone to reckless behavior; one generally develops an angry and irritated persona; this in turn, may make one to exhibit reckless and rash behavior.
- Lack of Energy and Focus: Depression causes one to feel fatigued and sluggish the entire day. Factors such as a total loss of appetite contribute to this particular symptom. Stemming from these symptoms are two other major occurrences; an inability to focus on anything and an inability to decide on anything.
Self-help, Coping tips and Treatment-
- Connect with different people: Being isolated from the rest can and usually aggravates symptoms of depression. So, reach out to other people and your loved ones; talk to your loved ones and try to empty your mind when you are having a one-to-one with them. Interacting and talking to others will make you feel better and should go a long way in taking that huge rock off your chest.
- Try to ditch that sedentary lifestyle; go out in the open: An early morning jog can feel daunting at first but the benefits are immense. Exercising regularly has been proven to be as effective as anti-depressants in combatting depression. Even a 20 minutes jog early in the morning releases ‘endorphins’ in the body, also known as the ‘feel good hormones’. These hormones induce a feeling of happiness and relaxation, thus taking your mind off any particular event or circumstance that has been ruining your sanctity of late.
- Avoid Alcohol and Drugs: Avoid alcohol and drugs to come out of your sadness; they have never helped and will never help. Taking these substances provides a temporary solution to depression, as it will again show up once the effects of the intoxicants wear off. It will also interfere with other medications that you may be taking to combat depression, thus reducing their potency.
- It’s high time you bought the meditating mat: Sleep has a beneficial effect on your mental health as it has been proven to improve memory and other cognitive and brain functions. Another way to improve brain function and be more relaxed is to meditate regularly. Meditation induces a state of relaxation, and if done on a regular basis, can be an effective treatment for depression. Meditation also helps with an improved focus and reduced anxiety.
- Medications can always help: Medications such as anti-depressants are administered to treat depression. Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs), including citalopram, fluoxetine and sertraline are the most commonly administered medications to cure this condition. However, it is advised to try the abovementioned methods first so that you do not have to depend on medications alone; the reason being that these medications do have their fair share of side effects.