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Dr. Jayasudha Kamara

Psychologist, Chennai

Dr. Jayasudha Kamara Psychologist, Chennai
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I believe in health care that is based on a personal commitment to meet patient needs with compassion and care....more
I believe in health care that is based on a personal commitment to meet patient needs with compassion and care.
More about Dr. Jayasudha Kamara
Dr. Jayasudha Kamara is a popular Psychologist in Vanagaram, Chennai. You can visit her at Serene Life Hospital in Vanagaram, Chennai. You can book an instant appointment online with Dr. Jayasudha Kamara on Lybrate.com.

Lybrate.com has an excellent community of Psychologists in India. You will find Psychologists with more than 37 years of experience on Lybrate.com. You can find Psychologists online in Chennai and from across India. View the profile of medical specialists and their reviews from other patients to make an informed decision.

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Serene Life Hospital

86/2A, 14/4C, 1st Floor,Kanniamman Nagar Main Road, Maduravoyal Earikkarai.Vanagaram, ChennaiChennai Get Directions
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I am a male aged 60. Mentally and physically of 35. Want to be female as well as my male penis and other male parts should be as it is. So in looks I should be male, with the female and male body. Is it possible? I am at Ahmedabad, having two children, both are married. Yet want to enjoy sex as a female.

Reparenting Technique, BA, BEd
Psychologist, Bangalore
You may be a very confused individual. At the age of 60 years finding someone to relate to you as a female itself is a monumental task – I would imagine near impossible. You may have to resort to self gratification, which may not be so satiating. Further you say you want to retain your male apparatus. Do you not think that that will put off your counterpart, if you succeed in finding one. Sometimes some men feel like a woman in a man’s body and that is an unfortunate situation. However in spite of that you cannot be both sexes. I think you need to talk to a sexologist and sort out your conflict ridden body and emotions to seek one or the other recourse, not both.
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Hiii. I am 35 years old. I am facing some problem like unable to sleep in night properly and many times I feel so heaviness in my brain and feeling so restless and able to concentrate. Bad bad thoughts coming in my mind. What should I do.

psychologist
Psychologist, Delhi
Hiii. I am 35 years old. I am facing some problem like unable to sleep in night properly and many times I feel so hea...
Dear lybrate user lybrate-user due to heavy pressure and changing environment every one is facing so much tension and stress so its common these days. Make yourself busy so that your brain should be in motion and for bad thoughts listen so loud music. Try some deep breathing exercise. Lie down before 10 or 10: 30 and read some book and if your sleeping cycle will be regular then your stress level will also decrease. Consult any psychologist it will help.
1 person found this helpful
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Hard Time Making Friends? These Tips Will Help You Initiate Friendship

B.A. Psychology, M.A. Psychology, Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Hard Time Making Friends? These Tips Will Help You Initiate Friendship

Friendship is the fuel that keeps life interesting. Imagine a robotic life where you do not have anyone with whom you can chill or unwind at the end of the day. Friends are people with whom you can be yourself without having to worry about needs and requirements or judgements, at least most of the time. They are the layer that lies between your family and the rest of the world and provide you with a balance of sorts as far as insights, outsider perspective, advice for meeting challenges and unadulterated enjoyment go. 

But many times, extreme shyness and an introvert nature can stop people from making friends easily. So how can you initiate friendships and keep them close? Here are a few tips!

  1. Understand Shyness: First of all, understand why you may be shy and how it makes your brain work. Shyness strips you of your security when you are faced with a new place or face. Also, it can lead to dismissive or avoidant behaviour, which keeps us from approaching people and learning more about them. Also, it keeps us anxious and preoccupied and makes us think that we will be met with rejection if we try to initiate friendship. Sounds vaguely familiar? Read on to know more.
  2. Eye Contact and First Impressions: The first way to initiate a new friendship is by making eye contact and following it up with a smile before the person in question averts his or her gaze. This is an unspoken language that is almost always answered similarly.
  3. Greeting: You can now approach the person and start by saying hello. It may be someone whom you have been seeing on your way to class or in the office cafeteria or even someone who lives in your building. So chances are, that this person would have noticed you too. Introduce yourself and ask for the person's name.
  4. Acknowledgement: Use the person's name often to show that you are acknowledging the friendship and ensuring that a bond begins to settle between the two of you from the word go. Offer to introduce this new friend to your other friends as further acknowledge of this new friendship.
  5. Information: In a new friendship, it is crucial to find common grounds without breaking the barriers of privacy. So ensure that you ask neutral questions about hobbies, family, education, work and other such issues without asking the when, where, what and how of things that might have to be explained by sharing personal details. In this way the person in front becomes more comfortable.

Be aware of the reasons that stop you and build your confidence when it comes to approaching people for friendship!

3827 people found this helpful

I am 35 yrs old male. I am feeling confident. My negative thoughts are so high. What should I do?

BASM, MD, MS (Counseling & Psychotherapy), MSc - Psychology, Certificate in Clinical psychology of children and Young People, Certificate in Psychological First Aid, Certificate in Positive Psychology
Psychologist, Palakkad
You should be able to distinguish between disappointment and depression and obsession. Disappointment also brings on symptoms identical to depression and obsession but they are short lived. Were you disappointed in the near past? please post a private question to me with every detail. I will help you. Take care.
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Hello doctor I am a tycs student appearing for the last year whenever I sit for study I feel very tired and also I do not remember the answer for a long term could you please help me.

BASM, MD, MS (Counseling & Psychotherapy), MSc - Psychology, Certificate in Clinical psychology of children and Young People, Certificate in Psychological First Aid, Certificate in Positive Psychology
Psychologist, Palakkad
Dear Lybrate user. I can understand. Memory and mind power depends on three aspects. Understanding, retention and recollection. Recollection is easy if your retention is proper and flawless. Retention is possible when you are able understand what you read or learn. To understand you should have concentration. Concentration comes from effective learning techniques based on creative and active learning. Physical exercise, outdoor games, entertainment, socializing coupled with systematic learning improves your memory and mind power. Vegetables, fruits and nuts are perfect for memory. Brain games like sudoku and jigsaw puzzles helps too. Avocados, Beetroots, Blueberries, Broccoli. Celery, Coconut Oil, Dark Chocolate etc are good for improving concentration and memory. I suggest online education counseling. Take care.
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Hii doctor. My son who is 18 years old. Has faced bullying by students of his class during class 11& 12. As such he has low self esteem. Wid no friends at all. Now he is preparing to go for college. Now I do not want him in same condition in college. Wat to do. Feeling worried.

MD - Psychiatry, Diploma in Child & Adolescent Psychology , MBBS
Psychiatrist, Pune
Let him go and meet people in the college he will have problems initially but later on he will cope up. Ask him to take initiative to meet people.
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I'm feeling so sad cuz I forget things very quickly which also affect my study as well. Can I take modafinil drug for that and is that available without prescription? Help me.

B.A PSYCHOLOGY HONOURS, M.A PSYCHOLOGY, M.Phil - Psychology, PhD PSYCHOLOGY
Psychologist, Delhi
The reason for forgetting may be tension, stress. See a psychologist to give you deep relaxation training or you do pranayaam as taught by baba ramdev on astha channel 5.30 to 7 am. Very very effective- esp anulom-vilom bramri and udgit - you will get miraculous results!
3 people found this helpful
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I cannot pronounce some sounds like'r' in great or in other words where" sound is used. What's is the cure for that?

MBBS, cc USG
General Physician, Gurgaon
Hello, This problem can be solved by Collection of Exercises, Speech therapy, treatment and home cure 1.Exercises are effective in treatment of physiological causes In general, exercises are meant to provide strength to the organs associated with speech including tongue, lips, jaw, trachea and lungs. consult to good speech therapy clinic 2.Deep breathing exercise are very effective 3.chewing Indian gooseberry, Almonds, Black pepper, Cinnamon and dried dates are known to clear speech congestion 4.This problem can be solved by Meditation i can give you address of rajyoga meditation center near your house (this is free of cost)
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Hi I'm 27 years old. I'm unable to sleep during the nights and even if I sleep it would be around 2 to 3 hours. I'm not even feeling tired during the day due to lack of sleep. I'm not much stressed nor do I have any problems. When I sleep I feel like my brain is still functioning though it need to rest at that time. I was thinking to take sedatives but I'm worried that I would be addicted to them. Is there any alternative so that I could sleep properly at least for 6 hours in a day. I don't even use much of smartphones or laptops too.

Reparenting Technique, BA, BEd
Psychologist, Bangalore
Hi I'm 27 years old. I'm unable to sleep during the nights and even if I sleep it would be around 2 to 3 hours. I'm n...
Sometimes the stress is present in a very stealthy way that you will be unaware of it. These symptoms are indicators of some stress. You may meet with a counselor and see into that. The lack of sleep, i. E. Sleep for less than 6 hours per night, is directly linked to about 86 diseases! So let us first focus on that. In your case particularly, do not sleep during the day; don’t even lie down. Go for regular exercise (breathing through your nostrils only) at a fixed time (at about 6 am) every day, whether you sleep or not. You must develop this habit of sleeping by 10 pm latest every night and wake up at a uniform time by 6 am every morning, even if you do not get sleep. If you do not get sleep, just lie down and if you have a bed lamp (or you could get one) lie down and read something light but not exciting. Your eyes will tire and you will fall asleep. If you like you may also put on light and soft music with the sleep function on. Depending on whether you are a visual or auditory person, you may watch TV in a lying down position until you feel sleepy. Have a warm bath before going to bed (for some people a cold bath at night seems to induce sleep! If you are one of them, please do so). Place the head side of your bed in a North-South position. The room must be as dark as possible and there should be no electronic items that give off even a light LED glow. There must be ample ventilation in the room. Avoid strong odors, except lavender, on your body or in the room, or on your sheets and clothes. There should not be any live plants in your bedroom. Sleep with the lightest of clothes or without any clothing. When lying down to sleep, lie down on your left ear as much as possible. Do not sleep directly under an overhead fan. You must eat a good breakfast, a fairly light lunch, and an early dinner, which should be a very light meal. Whatever you eat in the other meals, have only a pure carbohydrate meal at night with any vegetables, and preferably before 8 pm. Do not drink much liquids after or near about dinner time. When lying down to sleep you may use the 4-7-8 breathing pattern of sleep inducement i. E. Breathe in for four counts through your nostril only, hold for 7 counts, and exhale with a whoosh sound, through your mouth only, for 8 counts. Repeat this four times in the morning and just before you sleep at night. If you know Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT, then please practice this too for sleep induction. Self-hypnosis and slow relaxation techniques, at night will be tremendously useful. Acupuncture or acupressure will both be very useful too. Pray last thing at night before you sleep.
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I had a great academic career. But, after I completed my studies and entered into the professional world, I have been getting consecutive failures for the last four years now. Somehow, still I have summoned my strength. I have a dream and I am working hard to achieve it. But at times I loose my focus and the past experiences overcast my effort. How can I clear my mind and concentrate all through for my dream. I know I have the potential to achieve it. Just tell me, how can I be focused all through. I want to know the method by which I can clear my mind of the past experiences that I had and achieve my dream.

M.Sc - Applied Psychology
Psychologist, Bangalore
I had a great academic career. But, after I completed my studies and entered into the professional world, I have been...
Hi in academics, alot is in your hands like how n when to study, how to score better etc but practical work scenarios are different as they require more of interpersonal skills. More flexibility is required to work efficiently and also ability to adjust accordingly. If there are past experiences that you are not able to make peace with then it must not have been resolved and hence you are still carrying the baggage. Look into the problem and see how you can solve it. If it requires you to talk to concerned people to resolve or needs to be let go, then do that. You can take help of a counsellor to figure out how to go about it and some amount of venting out will also help. With your counsellor, you will also be able to make strategies of how to approach your goal. Do not worry much, start with accepting the present moment to move ahead. And keep faith in yourself. All the best!
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My daughter is 9 years old. She is behaving very strange from some days. She fears that she had done something wrong to end her life. While kidding she suddenly change her mind to negative thoughts. I am helpless, please help me.

BASM, MD, MS (Counseling & Psychotherapy), MSc - Psychology, Certificate in Clinical psychology of children and Young People, Certificate in Psychological First Aid, Certificate in Positive Psychology
Psychologist, Palakkad
My daughter is 9 years old. She is behaving very strange from some days. She fears that she had done something wrong ...
Dear lybrate-user. Children at this age learns things about diseases and death. They face reality. They are scared of reality. It takes time for them to adjust and accept the reality. Don't worry. Make arrangements for her to talk to me over phone. She will be alright. Take care.
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1 month back I had kidney stones of 4mm for that I used cystone, urimax, urikind oral solution after USG stones are cleared but still I have some pain in flank region on prolong sitting after that now i'm suffering with another problem that is when ever I feel tense motion (loose stools) are coming palpitations and overeating symptoms are seen is this condition is IBS or due to generalized anxiety disorder please help me doctors.

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
1 month back I had kidney stones of 4mm for that I used cystone, urimax, urikind oral solution 
after USG  stones are...
Counselling can help you to understand your reaction to the stressful situations and modify it so that you feel in control mentally and emotionally. You can also start pranayam meditation and yoga will be beneficial to you. Eat a diet conducive to your condition.
2 people found this helpful
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One of my family member is addicted with smoking and is unable to relax. How can he quit smoking and what will he do?

Ph. D - Psychology, Professional Certified Coach
Psychologist, Ahmedabad
For your family member - what you now need to focus on is to come up with the strategies that will help you with the craving. For example, what would help you to distract your mind from smoking. If you like tea or coffee you may decide to grab one instead of a cigarette. Or perhaps keeping a chewing gum or candy and grab one instead. Best way to quit is to work on individualized plan and strategies that will help you maintain the motivation and help manage your craving. Smoking has many adverse effect on different system in your body. Congratulations that you are thinking about quitting it. Now you need to figure out the best strategy that works for you. Following information may help you. One of the few habits which takes very systematic approach and needs lot of support and individualized strategies to quit successfully. Data such as - since how long are you smoking and how many cigarettes a day you consume are important information. Also have you tried quitting it earlier? how successful were you? and what are your personal reasons to stop smoking? all these are also important part of your success strategy. Broadly speaking your reasons for not smoking work as your motivator. The stronger the reasons behind not smoking the higher the motivation and thus higher the chances for you to be successful. Also your body will have a withdrawal symptoms and it is very important to come up with strategies and solid plan to counter these withdrawal symptoms. These strategies should be tailor-maid as per your need and situation. If you consider these and many other individualized approach and if you have a solid support throughout your journey. You would be able to make a shift from being a smoker to a non smoker. Along with this eating healthy and having a good routine for eat and sleep is also very important. Exercise plays a huge roll when it comes to staying positively motivated and managing cravings. Hope this helps, wishing you very best,
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Hi my husband is 36 yrs old and he is suffering from schizophrenia from aug 2013. I want the details for this disease is it curable or not? how should we treat a person?

MD - Psychiatry
Psychiatrist, Delhi
Hello, welcome to lybrate, I can understand your plight, would like to help you with this. Schizophrenia is a psychotic spectrum disorder characterised by paranoia, delusions, hallucinations, loss of insight, conceptual disorganisation, disorganised speech, impaired judgement, cognitive impairment and negative symptoms can also be present. Its usually occurs in middle ages, more common in males than in females. Pt usually develops unusual beliefs like he's being watched, followed, being plotted against, being discussed by others. At times bizarre behaviours and thought content could also be found. It is a complex syndrome which affects perception, thought, judgement, insight, cognition, motor and behavioural aspects of an individual. If left untreated, chances of spontaneous remissions are less, would gradually worsen. It is a treatable condition, treatment predominantly involves antipsychotic drugs such as haloperidol, risperidone, olanzapine, clozapine etc. Some rare cases also require mect as well. Besides this psycho-social interventions are also required to improve functioning of the individual. If you want to know more details, and want to seek an opinion regarding treatment, you can consult me in private
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I am 31years old lady I am getting frustrated very soon? By profession I am a teacher and I have three kids.

C.S.C, D.C.H, M.B.B.S
General Physician,
I am 31years old lady I am getting frustrated very soon? By profession I am a teacher and I have three kids.
Life is full of frustrations. From the minor irritations of losing something to the major problem of continued failure towards a desired goal. Since many of the things we truly want require a degree of frustration, being able to manage frustration is required in order to allow us to remain happy and positive even in trying circumstances. Understanding Frustration Frustration is an emotion that occurs in situations where a person is blocked from reaching a desired outcome. In general, whenever we reach one of our goals, we feel pleased and whenever we are prevented from reaching our goals, we may succumb to frustration and feel irritable, annoyed and angry. Typically, the more important the goal, the greater the frustration and resultant anger or loss of confidence. Frustration is not necessarily bad since it can be a useful indicator of the problems in a person's life and, as a result, it can act as a motivator to change. However, when it results in anger, irritability, stress resentment, depression or a spiral downward where we have a feeling of resignation or giving up, frustration can be destructive. What Causes Frustration? Frustration is experienced whenever the results (goals) you are expecting do not seem to fit the effort and action you are applying. Frustration will occur whenever your actions are producing less and fewer results than you think they should. The frustration we experience can be seen as the result of two types of goal blockage, i.e. internal and external sources of frustration. Internal sources of frustration usually involve the disappointment that get when we cannot have what we want as a result of personal real or imagined deficiencies such as a lack of confidence or fear of social situations. Another type of internal frustration results when a person has competing goals that interfere with one another. The second type of frustration results from external causes that involve conditions outside the person such as physical roadblocks we encounter in life including other people and things that get in the way of our goals. One of the biggest sources of frustration in today's world is the frustration caused by the perception of wasting time. When you're standing in line at a bank, or in traffic, or on the phone, watching your day go by when you have got so much to do, that's one big frustration. External frustration may be unavoidable. We can try to do something about it, like finding a different route if we are stuck in traffic, or choosing a different restaurant if our first choice is closed, but sometimes there is just nothing we can do about it. It is just the way life is. Our goal in dealing with external sources of frustration is to recognize the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer..."God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." One can learn that while the situation itself may be upsetting and frustrating, you do not have to be frustrated. Accepting life is one of the secrets of avoiding frustration. Responses to Frustration Some of the "typical" responses to frustration include anger, quitting (burn out or giving up), loss of self-esteem and self-confidence, stress and depression. Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper ANGER: There is a saying "Frustration begets anger and anger begets aggression." Direct anger, is expressed toward the object perceived as the cause of the frustration. If a machine does not work, you might hit it or kick it. If someone gets in your way, you could verbally threaten them or push them aside. If the source of the frustration is too powerful or threatening for direct aggression, displaced aggression is often used. The aggression is redirected toward a less threatening and more available object. An angry person often acts without thinking. The person has given in to the frustration and they have given up restraint. Anger can be a healthy response if it motivates us to positive action but all too often the actions we engage in when angry are destructive. Indeed, if we could see a videotape of ourselves getting angry, the humiliation might well help cure us of anger. When you feel frustration building, you have to practice learned responses that lead to healthy actions instead of destructive ones. GIVING UP: Giving up on a goal can be productive if the goal is truly out of reach. However, more often giving up (quitting or being apathetic) is another form of giving in to frustration. When repeatedly frustrated, people can drop out of school, quit jobs, or move away. Apathy is giving up all of your goals, so you cannot be frustrated by trying to reach them. We live in difficult time and we have to be persistent in order to accomplish. Consider how many projects you began, and then gave up, because you became frustrated and lost patience. Make a list of things you started and quit because they seemed too difficult. Now calculate the disappointment and loss you suffered by not dealing with the frustration in a more healthy way. Try to remember that quitters never win, and winners never quit. Losing your temper means you're a quitter. LOSS OF CONFIDENCE: is a terrible frequent side effect of giving up and not fulfilling your goal. A loss of self-confidence and self-esteem, means that If we quit once, then the next time we plan a goal, we may not be able to accurately assess our ability to carry it out and we stop trusting ourselves and our own abilities. This became a self-fulfilling and self-destructive attitude. You need to be able to learn that when the going gets tough, you say to yourself "It is worth it!" and by following through, it not only gets the job done, but it builds self-confidence. STRESS: is the "wear and tear" our body and mind experiences as we adjust to the frustrations our continually changing environment. Too frequently, extreme, or prolonged frustration and stress strains us and generates distress signals. Our body experiences distress signals in a variety of ways, often in the form of: irritability, anger, fatigue anxiety, headache, depression, stomach aches, hypertension, migraines, ulcers, heart attacks, or colitis. DEPRESSION: Depression can affect almost every aspect of your life. It affects people of all ages, income, race, and cultures. Depression can affect the way you eat and sleep the way you feel about yourself, the way one think about things, and the way you interact with others. While we all feel depression at various appropriate times in our lives, excess or inappropriate depression cannot be easily dismissed or wished away. OTHER REACTIONS: abuse of drugs & alcohol is self-destructive and usually futile attempt at dealing with frustration, as are many eating and weight problems and addictions Whenever the immediate effects of the addictive behaviour wear off, users find themselves back in the same, or even worse, frustrating situation. Learning To Deal With Frustration It is unrealistic to believe you can rid yourself of frustration forever, but you can learn to do things to minimize your frustrations and to make sure you do not engage in unhealthy responses to frustration. You will need to learn to distinguish between what you hope will happen, what will probably happen, and what actually happened. Life inevitably has its ups and downs -- its moments of relaxation and times of tension. When you learn to truly accept this reality, you come one step closer to being able to deal with frustration in a healthy way. There are several types of problems that we encounter in everyday living: those which you know can be solved, those which you are not sure if they can be solved or not, those you know are totally out of your control, and those you are so confused about that you do not even know what the problem is. You need to be able to accurately assess your abilities to alter situations that prevent you from solving your problems and reaching your goal. Then you will be able to assess which of the types of problems you have encountered, and you will then be able to develop a realistic plan. Learning to take things in stride will also help you to be more content and happy which, in turn, will help you to more easily overcome anger and frustration. If you are upset, sad, anxious, or depressed you will have less patience and tolerance for everything and everybody. Treatment of Frustration Frustration and anger are fundamental emotions that everyone experiences from time to time. From a very early age, people learn to express frustration by copying the behaviour they see modelled around them, and by expressing frustration and angry behaviour and seeing what they can get away with. We all suffer from frustration, and being able to effectively deal with frustration is a very important skill to develop. Each person needs to learn how to control frustration, so that it does not control them. The following is a brief overview of types of frustration management programs and resources that have proved helpful in understanding and controlling frustration and anger. I have found several approaches to treatment that have been effective for my clients including: Individual and Group Therapy for Anger Management. A therapist who can observe and analyse your behaviour from an impartial perspective, can help you with your reality testing. A therapist knows many effective frustration and anger management strategies and will be able to help you develop a personalized set of strategies for changing both your thinking and behaviour. Depending on your needs, your therapist may work with you on breathing or meditation exercises to reduce frustration, safe and appropriate emotional and physical techniques to release frustration, communication, or cognitive restructuring (a method for disputing and changing the way you think). Relaxation and exercise Simple relaxation tools such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery can help calm down feelings of frustration and anger. Breathing deeply, from your diaphragm, will help while breathing from your chest won't relax you. While breathing, you can slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "calm down" or "take it easy." Non-strenuous exercise, like yoga, can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer. Strenuous and vigorous exercise can also help you to work off frustration and angry feelings. Frustration can have a highly damaging impact on our frame of mind. It can turn a positive person into a person who sees nearly everything as a problem. It can slow you down, inhibit your progress, and at times completely immobilize you. We can become so wound up with our frustration that we do not, and cannot, think or act rationally. Our frustration can often exacerbate a situation and create a vicious circle. If we are convinced that our actions are not working, no matter how hard we try, we are much more likely to reduce, rather than increase, our chances of success. Remember, you cannot eliminate frustration. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you frustration and anger. Life is filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. If you feel that your degree of frustration is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counselling to learn how to handle it better. Please contact me Privately on this site or another therapist.
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Memory loss For the past one month I am nt able to remember thing after a sleep in the afternoon.

PDDM, MHA, MBBS
General Physician, Nashik
To improve your memory :- Give your brain a workout by solving puzzles. Don't skip the physical exercise. Get your 7 hours of sleep. Make time for friends. Keep stress in check by yoga and meditation. Have a laugh. Eat a brain-boosting diet like Almonds, fruits and high protein diet. Identify and treat health problems. Take practical steps to support learning and memory. Avoid multitasking.
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Hi, my boyfriend break up with me 2 weeks later. We were in relationship for 3 months. And in this 3 months we met once. That was our first date. He even lip lock and huggged me on first date. I don't wanted to do it but he was so much hurry for those things. Reason for break up first he told lets be happy in happiness of parents. Then he told after 2-3 days he was not happy with me. I truly loved and trusted him alot. I can't understand what he was doing with me and what he wanted actually. Because after break up also he told me wants to be my best friend for life. He dint even removed me still from social networking sites i.es, Facebook and watsapp. He was caring and understanding alot that made me loved him seriously and truly. I can't forget him anyhow now. Also I miss him alot but I can't tell him whats there actually in my mind. It's like I can't concentrate anywhere he's always on my mind. After break up he also txt me 2-3 times but I dint replied him. But still I can't understand y he has kept me on social networking sites if he don't love me. Even I told him I don't want to b his friend now. Please help me. I'M totally in depression.Please tell sir.

M.Sc - Applied Psychology
Psychologist, Bangalore
Hi, my boyfriend break up with me 2 weeks later. We were in relationship for 3 months. And in this 3 months we met on...
Hi, you are feeling betrayed, hurt, angry and sad over how your boyfriend has distanced himself from you. You are going through a difficult phase in terms of your emotions and maybe hoping he might come back to you again and hence cognitively you are trying to understand why he hasn't disconnected with you over the social network sites. He may have his own reasons to justify his decision and what he does is not in your control. What you can do is understand and get in touch with what's happening to you. Are you happy in this state? what would you like to do now? do you see any future with this guy who is finding it hard to commit and stay in the relationship? how does it matter whether he hasn't deleted your contact from those sites? it's also important to understand that usually boys and girls are in an exploratory phase around this age trying to understand how and with whom they are able to relate, and in this process there are heartaches for some. You have displayed a huge amount of courage by not replying back to his messages and it shows you value yourself, which is really good. This time is very critical for you in terms of your career or future goals, so start thinking about your goals and make efforts to work towards them. You can also block him from your networks if it gives you some amount of relief/freedom and also allow yourself to feel your pain. Gradually you will be out of it and looking life in the face with renewed zeal. So take care of yourself and give yourself your attention.
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I am 18 years old. 17 is on running but will be of 18 soon. My question is for my friend. He has a habit to smoke. Can I say the causes of smoking and how much it is dangerous to our health.

BASM, MD, MS (Counseling & Psychotherapy), MSc - Psychology, Certificate in Clinical psychology of children and Young People, Certificate in Psychological First Aid, Certificate in Positive Psychology
Psychologist, Palakkad
Dear lybrate-user. I can understand. Smoking cigarettes can cause cancer and many other respiratory problems and physical and mental health problems in the long run. Your boy friend must be relatively new to smoking. Therefore you can easily motivate him to quit smoking. I also suggest online deaddiction counselling for him. Take care.
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I don't know why I wonder that I am alone in the world even when I have a big family. And I am afraid of speaking to unknown persons. I have a small business and I want to develop it but when I thinks about. Negative feeling comes. Is that a something like mental disease.

Reparenting Technique, BA, BEd
Psychologist, Bangalore
I don't know why I wonder that I am alone in the world even when I have a big family. And I am afraid of speaking to ...
This is not a mental disease but it does seem to cripple you. I am afraid that you may be suffering from the rejection issue wherein you feel unwanted and also abandoned, and suffer separation anxiety. This can complicate your whole life. There must have been some incident in your early childhood that may have provoked this feeling: be it true or not. It is however possible to resolve this by learning to accept yourself and love yourself. The rejection issue will make you feel like you do not belong, although externally there may be all the signs that they do love you. It is your perception based on some incident in childhood that is influencing this feeling. The perception is more important than the actual event. You must do all kinds of loving things for yourself. That includes respecting your life, health and well being. Do not frequent people or places or situations where you are not wanted. You must exercise daily, eat a good diet and sleep well. Your identity is also something to work on. In the meantime, do a personality development course; attend workshops and conferences and talks to further your growth. The more educated you become, the more confidence you will develop. Generally meet more people and gradually learn to dispel all fear around them: they are also sometimes equally afraid of others!
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I have too much of mental stress for this I can't able to concentrate other things please suggest me on this.

C.S.C, D.C.H, M.B.B.S
General Physician,
I have too much of mental stress for this I can't able to concentrate other things please suggest me on this.
We generally use the word 'stress' when we feel that everything becomes too much to handle - we are overloaded and wonder whether we can cope with the pressures placed upon us. Nowadays stress is a normal part of life. Almost everyone has some sort of stress. Constantly reacting to stressful situations without making adjustments to counter the effects, threatens our health and well-being. There are steps you can help you managing day to day stressful conditions and take to feel better. 1.Be realistic: If you feel overwhelmed by some activities (yours and/or your family's), learn to say NO! Eliminate an activity that is not absolutely necessary. You may be taking on more responsibility than you can or should handle. If you meet resistance, give reasons why you're making the changes. Be willing to listen to other's suggestions and be ready to compromise. 2.Shed the 'superman/superwoman' urge: No one is perfect, so don't expect perfection from yourself or others. Ask yourself, 'What really needs to be done? How much can I do? Is the deadline realistic? What adjustments can I make? Don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. 3.Take one thing at a time: For people under tension or stress, their day-to-day workload can sometimes seem unbearable. The best way to cope with this feeling of being overwhelmed is to take one task at a time. Make a list of things you need to get done and start with one task. Once you accomplish that task, choose the next one. The positive feeling of 'checking off' tasks is very satisfying. It will motivate you to keep going. 4.Share your feelings: A conversation with a friend lets you know that you are not the only one having a bad day. Stay in touch with friends and family. Ask them how they have dealt with a similar situation that may be 'stressing you out. Let them provide love, support and guidance. Don't try to cope alone. 5.Be flexible: If you find you're meeting constant opposition in either your personal or professional life, rethink your position or strategy. Arguing only intensifies stressful feelings. Make allowances for other's opinions and be prepared to compromise. If you are willing to be accommodating, others may meet you halfway. Not only will you reduce your stress, you may find better solutions to your problems. Go easy with criticism. You may expect too much of yourself and others. Try not to feel frustrated, disappointed or even 'trapped' when another person criticises you. 6.Hobbies: Take a break from your worries by doing something you enjoy. Whether it's gardening or painting, schedule time to indulge your interest. Exercise: Regular exercise is a popular way to relieve stress. Twenty to thirty minutes of physical activity benefits both the body and the mind. Meditate: Just ten to twenty minutes of quiet reflection may bring relief from chronic stress as well as increase your tolerance to it. 7.Take Herbal Supplement: Herbs like Brahmi, Ashwagandha, Mandukparni, Shankhpuspi, Kaunch are very helpful in managing stress. These herbs work on the brain and help relax you which ultimately empowers you to manage your stressful conditions easily. There are many herbal supplements available in the market that can help you. 8.Consult the Doctor: If your stress level doesn't seem to improve with above tips, it may require more attention and consultation with an Expert. Or consult me on Lybrate privately Physical symptoms of stress include: •Low energy. •Headaches. •Upset stomach, including diarrhoea, constipation and nausea. •Aches, pains, and tense muscles. •Chest pain and rapid heartbeat. •Insomnia. •Frequent colds and infections. •Loss of sexual desire and/or ability. STRESS CONTROL There are many ways to tame your stress and keep it at bay. Here are 20 tips to tame your stress today, and keep the stress monsters at bay. 1.Perform diaphragmatic or deep breathing exercises. 2.Lie face down on the floor and begin breathing deeply and slowly, with your hands resting under your face. Do this for five minutes. 3.Sit in a reclining chair. Put a hand on your abdomen and a hand on your chest. As you breathe, make sure the hand on your abdomen is moving up and down rather than one on your chest. If the hand on your abdomen is moving you are breathing deeply and slowly. 4.Try progressive muscle relaxation or “deep muscle” relaxation. Progressively tense and relax each muscle group in your body. Learn the difference between muscle tension and relaxation. 5.Meditate. Use visualization or imagery to help you learn to be one with your thoughts. Sit quietly with your eyes closed, imagining the sights, sounds and smells of your favorite place, such as a beach or mountain retreat. 6.Exercise regularly or take up yoga. 7.Consult a psychologist about the use of biofeedback 8.Make time for music, art or other hobbies that help relax and distract you. 9.Learn to identify and monitor stressors. Come up with an organized plan for handling stressful situations. Be careful not to overgeneralize negative reactions to things.
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