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Manoj's Psychotherapy And Counseling Clinic

Psychologist Clinic

Plot No 20,Door No 7, Ganesh Nagar, 4th street,Adambakkam,West Velachery Chennai
1 Doctor · ₹500
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Manoj's Psychotherapy And Counseling Clinic Psychologist Clinic Plot No 20,Door No 7, Ganesh Nagar, 4th street,Adambakkam,West Velachery Chennai
1 Doctor · ₹500
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About

By combining excellent care with a state-of-the-art facility we strive to provide you with quality health care. We thank you for your interest in our services and the trust you have place......more
By combining excellent care with a state-of-the-art facility we strive to provide you with quality health care. We thank you for your interest in our services and the trust you have placed in us.
More about Manoj's Psychotherapy And Counseling Clinic
Manoj's Psychotherapy And Counseling Clinic is known for housing experienced Psychologists. Dr. R.Manoj Raghavan, a well-reputed Psychologist, practices in Chennai. Visit this medical health centre for Psychologists recommended by 67 patients.

Timings

MON-SUN
04:00 PM - 09:00 PM

Location

Plot No 20,Door No 7, Ganesh Nagar, 4th street,Adambakkam,West Velachery
Velachery Chennai, Tamil Nadu - 600088
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Doctor

Dr. R.Manoj Raghavan

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist
Available today
92%  (146 ratings)
19 Years experience
500 at clinic
₹300 online
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Patient Review Highlights

"Well-reasoned" 1 review "Very helpful" 1 review

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Feeling depressing to think about my studies and career .can't get rid of that, because of that I am unable to sleep properly. Help me to get rid of that.

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
Feeling depressing to think about my studies and career .can't get rid of that, because of that I am unable to sleep ...
Hi it seems you are spending more time worrying about your future and worrying about the lack of sleep rather than trying to work on what you should do now. You also seem to be lacking goals and plans. So better start working on planning what you should do now and how you should spend your available time usefully. This will make even your lack of sleep a boon because it will provide you more time for you to work and complete the tasks which you intend to complete. If you have difficulty in doing this the consult a clinical psychologist in your vicinity.
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Hi, I'm 23 years old male. I am having erectile dysfunction from past 5 years due to over masturbation. I have masturbate 3 to 8 times continuous daily for over 10 years. All these days I had thought it will be cured but Now I'm getting scared. My penis has shrinked to its fullest and all the veins have swollen up, because of the shrinkage the skin is protruding at the tip of pennis with swollen veins. The semen when I masturbate will be colourless. And very loose. I feel more and more to masturbate once I finish masturbation. I'm having severe hair loss and hair thinning. I am not able to any work or I'm always feeling dull and depressed. I have stopped masturbation from 5 days. I somewhat feel good mentally. But I have strong urges to watch porn and masturbate. Please help me. I am stuck in life. I have suicidal thoughts. My health has deteriorated. My immunity when I recently checked was some 7000. But Range was 4k to 14k for male.

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
Hi, I'm 23 years old male. I am having erectile dysfunction from past 5 years due to over masturbation. I have mastur...
Hi the description of your problem only shows your lack of knowledge about sexuality and false beliefs about mastrubation, if you are getting even a partial erection while trying to mastrubare then it si not erectile dysfunction and all other symptoms you talk about are just a part of normal physiology. But the frequency with you seem to be involving in mastrubation only suggests that you are obsessed with the thought of mastrubation. This may be because you may be a loner with put much friends and may be you are not focussed on doing any productive goal oriented work. Just try to set an goal for yourself and divert your full focus on it. Also try to connect with your friends and spend time with them. If you have difficulty in doing all these things better consult a clinical psychologist who will help you to overcome this problem.
1 person found this helpful
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Kaise pata chale k aids hai ya nahi .uske body per effect kya hai. Aids hone per kya hota hai.

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
Kaise pata chale k aids hai ya nahi .uske body per effect kya hai. Aids hone per kya hota hai.
Aids ka pathe karne ka the best option is to take ELISA test, kyon ki aids beemari nahin hai. AIDS hone se aap ka immunity system weak ho ga jis se aap ko koyi be bimari jaldi se ho saktha hai.
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Since I broke up with my girlfriend, im getting nightmares about her daily. Im in no depression of my breakup. Its been a week when I wake up from my sleep late night and check my phone. Is this serious? Will it cause me health problems?

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
Since I broke up with my girlfriend, im getting nightmares about her daily. Im in no depression of my breakup. Its be...
HI your nightmares only suggests that you are undergoing significant psychological distress due to either the break up which you are consciously denying, but suppressed into your unconscious mind or some other issues. If its really disturbing you and giving you problems with sleep better consult a clinical psychologist to overcome the problem.
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Doctor, I am 20 years old I had sex with postulate women with protection of condom for first time now I am fear that I had got aids or not I do not known she has or not.

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
Doctor, I am 20 years old I had sex with postulate women with protection of condom for first time now I am fear that ...
Hi sex with professional sex workers are always risky. First take the tests (ELISA) necessary to rule out infection. If everything is clear and if you continue to have the fear then its only an anxiety related problem for which you need to consult a clinical psychologist. AVOID SUCH HIGH RISK SEXUAL BEHAVIOR IN FUTURE.
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I'm 46 years old and under depression for the last 10 years and taking melzap 2 mg in the morning and Esteem-HD (Alprazolam. 25 with propranolol Hydrochloride I.P.) daily. Now I have waist stiffness and left leg side fingers feel like ants are running over on.

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
I'm 46 years old and under depression for the last 10 years and taking melzap 2 mg in the morning and Esteem-HD (Alpr...
Hi your current problems may be due to the side effects of the medicines you are taking. So consult your existing psychiatrist to change the medicines. But a better option would be to consult a clinical psychologist and undergo cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) which can help you to gradually reduce the dosage of medicines and may be bring it to the minimum maintenance dose.
2 people found this helpful
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My hand is trembling while holding a pen, spoon or phone. And due to anxiety, emotional stress my heart beat goes on increasing with tym. I used to have chest pain but it is totally fine now .so do I have to consult a neurologist or what should I do ?

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
My hand is trembling while holding a pen, spoon or phone. And due to anxiety, emotional stress my heart beat goes on ...
Hi all the symptoms you have described only suggest that you have some anxiety related problems. So better consult a clinical psychologist who will help you mange the anxiety or if its not at the manageable limits guide you to the right professional for medical support.
5 people found this helpful
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Am feeling alone in my home, am not interact with my parents. Now days my parents got some proposals for marriage. But I will not marry anyone, now days am so depressed when am wearing a new dress or smthng if that day proposal came I will not wear those dress again. I thinks if I wear that dress same thing will happen again. Can you help me?

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
Am feeling alone in my home, am not interact with my parents. Now days my parents got some proposals for marriage. Bu...
Hi lybrate-user you have not given the details of why you have stopped interacting with your parents or why you have aversion towards marriage. But the way you have described your problem suggest that you may be in the initial stage of obsessive compulsive disorder. So better meet a clinical psychologist in your vicinity at the earliest to find solutions to your problems.
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I am 53 year old women, suffering from depression for over 2 years. The trouble is more in mornings. Panic attacks are also there. Whenever my schedule of work and living changes it becomes more. Under the presumption of Menopause HRT treatment has been given with not much effect. Some homeopathic medicines have also been given. Meditation and yoga and exercises have been very meticulously tried. I travelled to India twice during this period. As soon as I land in India, whole trouble just disappears, as if it was never there. On landing back it remains OK for a few months (2-3) months and returns. There are no problems within family. Have excellent husband and in-laws and gifted daughter (16) and son (12), very loving too. Children are getting affected which is a serious concern. Any change in routine adversely affects. Please advise.

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
I am 53 year old women, suffering from depression for over 2 years. The trouble is more in mornings. Panic attacks ar...
Hi lybrate-user even though you feel that you have a supporting family, your description of the problems suggests that there may be the following reasons for your problems 1. May be you have a sense of unconscious insecurity in places other than india, the place where you feel have you have your own people all around you 2. You may be experiencing feelings of loneliness primary because you may not be sharing your needs wants and experiences freely with you family members, may be because of time limitations or the assumption that your family members may not be interested in it 3. You may be taking too much of responsibility related to the family when you are along with them which may be creating stress in you and you are unable to find time for yourself or relax however what ever may be the cause cbt may be the best mode of therapy that can help you to handle the problem. So get in touch with a clinical psychologist practicing cbt at the earliest.
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I'm 24 year boy . My problem is that I think too much and I have big shame too due to that my heart get pain . Need solution.

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
I'm 24 year boy . My problem is that I think too much and I have big shame too due to that my heart get pain . Need s...
Hi lybrate-user you seem to be suffering from poor self confidence and low self esteem, which is making creating lot of negative feeling in you about yourself. This seems to be the reason which keeps you preoccupied with any thing you do. The best approach would be to consult a clinical psychologist in your vicinity and under go psychotherapy or counseling as deemed necessary.
5 people found this helpful
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Hello Doctor, Which I want to share with you that is my inner voice and this thing only I know. actually my topic is I want to die cause of this world .I am a girl and when I read like somebody raped or other brutal thing happened with any girl in this world. I thought this world is not for girls .everybody is monitor on this earth who want to hurt every women in this world .what I say ahead but I feel very suffocate cause of this. today I again read related to this thing again those thoughts coming in my mind and disturbing me very deeply. Ek insan hi dusre insan ka dushmn h yha .there is no humanity in this world. everybody is cruel and heartless. especially men they don't care of women feelings. they only do rape or hurt us. I don't think so that I want to live more. cause of this kind of thing can't be survive in this ruthless world. there all are mean and gaze with monster eyes. What I do?

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
Hi lybrate-user you are having this feeling because you just go through the information but feel that you are not in a position to do anything about it - a status of learned helplessness. If you really feel that you want to die for the world, then you should be willing to live for the world, take bold action counter such activities, by creating awareness, bringing together the like minded people, form a social forum to fight the menace socially and legally without worrying about the consequences of your actions. If you do not worry about dying for a cause then only sky is the limit to achieve the goals related to the cause. Take the initiative at the earliest which can only bring the positive feeling in your mind that your life also has a meaning.
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My girlfriend left me. Because of her father reputation. About a month ago. We sometime talk. Like twice in a week. She blocked me from whatsapp hike. I am always missing her. How to. Forget her totally . As we are in same collage. But different departments some time she goes near from my classes. How I explain? What is that feeling? Give me solution.

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
My girlfriend left me. Because of her father reputation. About a month ago. We sometime talk. Like twice in a week. S...
Hi if your girl friend left you for the sake of her father it only means that she does not give importance to you or the realtionship. The best way is to break the contact completely and focus on building a new trust worthy realtionship. But the way you have expressed the problem it seems that you have very limited friends and social circle which make you give too much of value to ant realtionship you get into. So better try to develop more friendships, increase your social circle and also start focusing on the goals in your life which can protect you from getting into such emotional tangles. If you have difficulty in doing this better consult a psychologist in your vicinity at the earliest.
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How much sleep I needed. To remain stress free and fresh! I am 21 years old. And whats is best way to study by seating on ground or on chair or by sleeping?help plz

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
How much sleep I needed. To remain stress free and fresh! I am 21 years old. And whats is best way to study by seatin...
Hi the normal sleep requirement is 6 to 8 hrs preferably a continuous one. This may vary according to individual. Any thing less or more can be harmful. Always the bets way of studying is sitting irrespective of whether its on the floor or the chair. Only thing you need is a platform which can support you in holding the book at a height and distance which does not give too much of strain to your backbone.
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I am 20 year male student and due to studies and part time work my health is constantly degrading. I have tried for jogging and doing yoga but I am not successful. This is causing depression in my mind.

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
I am 20 year male student and due to studies and part time work my health is constantly degrading. I have tried for j...
Hi have timely healthy nutritious food and ensure that you sleep atleast for 6 hours in total darkness everyday preferably at in the same time. Try this consistently for 2 months and that should help to improve your immunity.
4 people found this helpful
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Hi it's for my dad he drinks alcohol too much is there anything to reduce the alcohol habit.

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
Hi there are systematic methods to reduce and even stop drinking alcohol even if it has gone to the stage of addiction. This may involve a systematic deaddiction process, group therapy, aversion therapy and individual counselling. But the biggest blockage is the all these methods can be used only if your father is motivated.
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There is a sense of anxiety that is gripping me for a past week. The source of it is sheer happiness. What shall I do to calm myself down?

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
There is a sense of anxiety that is gripping me for a past week. The source of it is sheer happiness. What shall I do...
Hi it may not be anxiety, but an excitement / euphoria which you have not experienced till now. Do not try to control if just experience and enjoy it. If you feel that it is affecting your functional abilities or if there are complaints that it is becoming a disturbance to others, get in touch with a clinical psychologist to confirm whether its normal happiness or the initial stage of mania/ hypomania.
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I got drunk yesterday but I felt hallucinated later after I got drunk it seemed like dream for few hours now I am better but terrified with that experience will it happen again whenever I drink or smoke?

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
I got drunk yesterday but I felt hallucinated later after I got drunk it seemed like dream for few hours now I am bet...
Hi yes there are all possibilities that you have the same experience whenever you take alcohol, specifically if you lose control over the quantity. But it may not happen if you are smoking tobacco. So better avoid the habit and even if plan to continue with the habit exercise complete control over the quantity of intake.
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I am not panic with the eptoin but want to stop in short interval of time any suggestion which give the strength to stop it in short interval of time. Eptoin is taking by one year after my accident.

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
I am not panic with the eptoin but want to stop in short interval of time any suggestion which give the strength to s...
Eptoin is a medicine given for epileptic patients. If you have had a phase of epileptic attack after accident thaen it is not advisable to stop it till the full course is completed. But if the same has been prescribed for significant irritability, anger or other uncontrollable emotional upheavals after the accident then relaxation methods, emotion focused therapy, controlled breathing techniques etc can help. But its not advisable to stop the medicines abruptly. If you want to stop the medicines meet a clinical psychologist in your vicinity learn the methods properly and the you can gradually reduce the medicines.
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THE EVER EFFECTIVE APPROACH TO QUIT SMOKING

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
A good percentage of people who smoke want to quit the habit, few who understand the physical and psychological damage it can do to them and many because they feel that the they are losing control over the habit and its going well beyond the levels at which they want to maintain it and some because it eats into their pocket. They even express the wish to quit which only follows their version of inability to do so and a feeling helplessness. A considerable number of people make plans to quit and even fix up the dates to quit only to find, some excuses to postpone it. Few even take some measures to quit such gradual reduction in the number of cigarettes they use everyday only to see that they lose control very soon. Few even quit complete only to get back in to the habit within a few days at the slightest provocation.
Smoking is more of a habitual behaviour than the physical need for nicotine for whatever the purpose it may serve. The habituation is consistently maintained by the various factors such as the cost involved in each smoke, the ease at which it can be possessed, carried and used, the absence of social stigma associated with it and its lack of impact on the functional capacity of an individual, rather a irrational belief that it helps in improving the alertness and functional ability.
The commencement of the habit can be mostly traced to the mid or late adolescence or early adulthood, usually with a social smoke, either under peer pressure or as crowd behaviour with the intention to be an integral part of the young energetic risk taking community rather than being an odd man out who sticks to his principles. In some cases it is just done which the intention to mimic the machismo appearance and personality of some film actor whom they adore. Tobacco companies working all out to increase their profits by issuing subtle attractive ads and sponsoring events which have mass following where their ads about their products just coerce anyone to give a try has its own role in people taking up the habit.
Later this practice becomes a widely used method for having short breaks from continuing activities or as mechanism for distracting from preoccupations associated with stress, fear, anxiety, depression or even boredom. Associating this habit with regular activities of day to day life such as having a smoke after every coffee or tea, every meal, every snack and even as a positive reinforcement when some immediate goals are achieved, making it an automatic response to such activity is another factor that helps in maintaining is consistency. Availability of a smokers around who would willing offer a cigarette even without you asking for it, and many a times force you to take one, just for the sake of giving them a company and lack of assertiveness on the part of most of the smokers to say a no to such offer is another important factor.
The consistent maintenance of the habit gradually leads to status where it seems as natural as eating and sleeping and cigarettes becomes an essential ingredient of everyday life such as water and air.
How to quit smoking
Step 1: Prepare
Level 1: make the indispensable plans
Most of people who smoke fail to quit because of the false belief that the habit of smoking is well within their control and they can quit smoking whenever they want. The first thing anyone has to do is to get over this belief. Realize that smoking is a very difficult habit to quit and it cannot be done unless and otherwise you are willing to go through a tough initial period of abstinence.
• Plan for complete exit not a partial one or gradual reduction
• List down the merits and demerits of the habit. Analyze the details to confirm whether you should really quit. While analyzing the details, if at any point of time you feel that there are some benefits of continuing the habit, be clear that its going to be vey difficult for you to quit and you really need to take some extra burden on yourself if you really want to quit
• List down all the stimulus triggers the intention of smoking. It may well be anything from having tea, coffee, meals to whenever you feel down, stressed or bored. Sometime it may be a planned one like having a fag every hour or whenever your friend or colleague offers one. Maintaining a journal to record of each time you smoke and the antecedent incident will help in having the complete details of the instigators.
• Highlight the situations in which you have intense craving to smoke
• List down the names of all your friends who smoke and highlight the ones who offer you a cigarette whenever you meet with special reference to people who start discussions only after they light a cigarette
• If you are preparing a journal also list down whether having a smoke had just helped you to distract yourself from and unpleasant feeling which you have been preoccupied with or whether it has provided a relief. If so identify the problem or the feeling and list it down
• Also list down the alternative activities which can provide you the same level of distraction or the methods in which you can really get over the overwhelming negative feelings
• If you have tried being abstinent earlier, list down the negative feelings and any specific physical symptoms you had while you had been maintaining abstinence. Also note down the incident which resulted in your failure to continue the same.
Level 2:prepare yourself
• Get the knowledge about the various withdrawal symptoms that you may experience and the time period it may be present when you quit smoking
• Develop the belief that all the physical and psychological distress you undergo will cease to exist in a few days and you need to go through these short term sufferings for long term befits
• Develop assertiveness altleast to say” NO” to anyone who offers you cigarettes and “NO” to yourself whenever you have an intense craving to smoke
• Get trained in a few relaxations techniques, the most suitable one being the Jacobson’s progressive relaxation technique
• Decide a date and time to quit. Always remember that today is the best day. You can even do the level one preparation after you have decided that you are quitting.
• Discard any cigarettes in your possession, without worrying about wastage of resources because sometimes your intention to quit after exhausting all the available recourses may become a never ending process
• Remove all the products associated with smoking such as ash trays, mouth fresheners, lighters etc in your vicinity that may remind you of your habit
• Take a short break from any professional demand such as working long hours in the night or stressful deadlines which can increase the intensity of craving
• List out a number of activities of your interest and start doing it
• Prepare yourself to counter the de-motivating comments or intentions from people around you or the smoking populations intensions to isolate you for your decision. Have the clarity that they are exhibiting these behaviours just to cover up their own helplessness and failure related to quitting
Level 3: prepare your environment
• Inform everyone around about your plans to quit and once you have quit and ask for their support to maintain it
• Tell your friends and other social contact assertively that they should not offer cigarettes whenever you meet
• Ask your friends and loved ones to remind you of gaol of total abstinence frequently and to restrain you whenever you exhibit any symptoms of relapse
Step 2 sustaining abstinence
• Don’t have cigarettes or tobacco related products or any products which remind you of smoking in your vicinity
• Don’t have any doubts about you decision or your capacity to quit because self doubts are slippery and it may gradually break down your confidence and efforts to quit.
• Remind yourself about the antecedent activities such a having a meal, coffee etc, which trigger your intention to smoke to avoid doing it whenever you involve in the activity
• Find a healthy alternative such as having a fruit or nuts or mouth freshening spices such a cardamom
• If there is any antecedent activity that you can avoid, avoid it
• Keep yourself engaged with activities of interest and entertainment
• Start maintaining a consistent schedule for sleeping. This will help in overcoming any sleep disturbances that may arise after you quit.
• Also develop the practice of consistent schedule for eating and having a healthy balanced diet.
• Start practicing some physical exercises or yoga in the morning to make your body and mind active which will help you to overcome the withdrawal symptoms such as depression, fatigue and constipation
• Practice some relaxation exercises preferably Jacobson’s progressive relaxation to overcome the withdrawal symptoms of restlessness, anxiety , irritability etc. This can also help in improving the concentration. Controlled breathing or pranayma can also be very effective.
• Remind yourself the reasons based on which you decided to quit and the possible benefits from your decision
• Remind yourself that you are not a loner by being a non-smoker, there is a good percentage of people who are non-smokers with whom you can have sociable and friendly relationships.
• Avoid tempting situations such as being in the company of smokers, who me even compel you to smoke
• Challenge the irrational thoughts associated with smoking that arise time and again such as “smoking relaxes you”, “making you function effectively” with rational thoughts that there are safe activities which can help you to achieve the same. Support these rational thought with various benefits you enjoy being a non smoker.
• Avoid places which is associated with your smoking habit
• Be assertive and say an emphatic “NO” to anybody who offer you a smoke, irrespective of who they are and what consequences you may have to face by doing so. Understand that accepting it will harm you more than anything else
• Whenever there is intense craving to smoke try to distract yourself from the thought by involving yourself in any activity that can really be interesting or that can keep you mind occupied. Activities such as listening to music, solving puzzles, reading stories or novels etc can be very helpful
• Overcome your oral carving by taking water or healthy fluids such as fresh fruit juices or snacks frequently
• Overcome your psychomotor craving associated with your fingers by drawing or just scribbling on paper or even squeezing a ball, whenever you have a sense of restlessness in your fingers. Even playing games on mobile can also be useful. But be careful not to get addicted to that habit.
• Avoid stressful situations if possible, but the better way is to learn stress management techniques and use them to overcome your stress and anxiety
• Avoid being awake in the night for long time. Better to avoid even professional demands of staying awake in the night. If you cant avoid it try some other methods such a frequent short walk, having water frequently etc to keep yourself alert and awake.
• Avoid all alcoholic beverages because it may bring down your capacity to control psychological cravings
• Save the money you spend every day for cigarettes on a day to day basis. Use the money to buy yourself or your loved ones a gift periodically
• Provide positive reinforcement to yourself in the form of rewards periodically. But be careful that that your reward is not a smoke.
• Make a list of the situations in which you wanted to smoke and how you overcame your intensions on a day to day basis. Appreciate yourself for doing the same. As days go by you can see that the numbers decrease which by itself will keep you motivated.
• If there are any specific alternative activities which you feel as easy and effective try doing it frequently whenever the intensions arise
• Preferably don’t use any substitutes such as nicotine coated gums, or nicotine replacement therapy using nasal sprays or patches because it may only sustain the nicotine addiction. if you really feel that you need a substitute you may use normal gums, nuts etc
• Get feedback from your loved ones and non-smoking friends on how it has helped them.
• Start advocating the harmful effects of smoking among your friends who smoke and others. This will help in reminding you of the need to quit completely and at the same time help you in having a social control, because after advocating a cause you know that you can never smoke in their presence again at any point of time.
• Have the clarity of thought that now you are a non-smoker and you have a healthy life like every other non-smokers.
• Always remember that you are only one cigarette away from being a smoker. By taking even one puff you have lost the fight to quit and to achieve your goal you need to take extra efforts and self control
• Even if you slip don’t give up, try to learn from your experience about what triggered your slip, evolve methods of handling it effectively and get back with more vigour to fight the habit
3 people found this helpful

WHY EDUCATION ABOUT SEX AND SEXUALITY SHOULD START FROM A VERY YOUNG AGE

M.Phil clinical Psychology, MS Psychotherapy and Counseling, PGDGC, MSc Psychology
Psychologist, Chennai
There has been an increasing conflict among various sections of the society regarding sex education to children. Even after prolonged discussions by academicians, sociologist, psychologists, politicians, law makers and people from various other walks of life, it seems that no conclusion has been arrived at. This has been happening in spite of the fact that, every day more and more cases of pedophilic aggression and rapes are being reported from all quarters, which still accepted as the tip of the iceberg by everyone. This does not include consensual sex with preadolescent and early adolescent children who involve in the act just for the thrill and pleasure without understanding the long term effects.

Most of the people who are against sex education in school seem to view sex and sexually as something associated with physical and functional aspects of sexual relationships. There are also others who feel that providing knowledge about sex may provide a gateway for experimenting sexual life at a young age. I don’t deny this risk factor. But these people can also never deny that without such informations such exploration and experimentation are still happening among adolescents.

What everyone should understand is sex and sexuality are not just related to physical and functional aspects of sexual life. There is emotional, interpersonal, relationship, social, moral and personality factors such as decision making, self confidence and self esteem associated with it. Any systematic sexual education should comprehensively cover all these factors in a progressive model at different grades. The sadness is that our normal academic system has failed to address all these psychological factors which are essential for a wholistic development of a child.

For ages together we have tried to maintain the secrecy of sexual life from not just from children, but also from adolescents who physically mature. Even the informations shared are partial and shrouded with secrecy. Just like any partial information motivating us to know more, this approach has only lead to increasing the interest in children to know more about sex. Leave out the films that brand themselves as “adults only” even though there is very limited restrictions on young children watching such films, even the ones which are branded as “for all” or family movie also have a lot of content which shows physical contact among opposite genders as pleasurable and exciting.

Children also witness such intimate contact in real life, in various social environments and sometimes even among their parents. children also come across a lot of sexuality associated terms which are explicit such as “fuck” in emotionally charged conversations, or words and terms with veiled informations, in lighter ones, for which the reactions from the listener is so different and explicit, that any child can smell that there is some shady information in it. These stimuli without appropriate systematic scientific knowledge can only evoke interest to know more and experiment at the first available opportunity.

With more and more children getting access to internet and have started using social networking rampantly, sex and sexuality are no more a holy secret to be preserved. Now children as young as 6yrs are browsing internet for information to get additional informations related to academic activities. Even without any intentional search or interest, they can very easily stray in to any of the website which provide obscene stories, pictures or prone video clips. Use of simple words like “hot” “position” in search engines, can give a lot of leads into such websites. These sites only provide information of the erotic pleasure associated with sexual life.

Since sexual interest are instinctual, it is quiet natural that the children who have once strayed into such websites are motivated to go again and search for such websites. With the parents finding very little time to monitor the activities of the child, provide adequate care, love, affection and emotional support, provide appropriate knowledge and clarifications, whenever the child has some doubts and apprehensions about what they have come across, the vulnerability of the children to become victims of cyber bullying and sexual assault increases in leaps and bounds. All a person with intentions of abusing a child has to do, is act affectionately to the child and the child easily falls into the trap.

With the majority of society focusing of increasing their standards of living by increasing their materialistic possessions and physical / environmental comforts, stress levels have increased and moral values and value for relationships have come down drastically. This has also lead to the increase in pervasive cognitions among adults making children more vulnerable to harassment.

Every data related to sex and sexuality is hidden from children or used with some other sublime representation, due to the fear that the parents or teachers may be put in a delicate situation if any questions are asked about it. Few also fear the embarrassment they may encounter if any such questions are asked by the child in a social situation. Other fears that this can create interest in sexual activities in the child. While all other body parts are taught by their names both in schools and by the parents the genitals name are not addressed as “vagina” or “penis” the real name. These parts are left out without names in the books and addressed with casual verbatim as “si si” or “su su”. This approach of the adults is the first seed for creating a belief in the mind of the child that anything related to genitals is supposed to be kept as a secret and should not be discussed openly. It is this thought that prevents the child from communicating any issues or happenings related to their genitals including sexual abuse.

Open communication about the genitals just like any other parts of the body can make the child free enough to communicate any happenings associated with it to their parents. A child should feel comfortable to say that somebody touched my vagina or penis just like he or she can say that somebody has touched my nose. Just like we teach the child how to take care of their teeth by brushing twice regularly, the child can also be taught how to maintain their genital hygienically, keeping it covered and not allowing anybody else to touch them and also immediately report any such incidents whether it’s done with consent or not, to parents or teachers. If such openness is created sexual abuse can been identified at a very early stage and preventive measures can be taken.

With the Freudian “id” the animal pleasure seeking behavior increasing in individuals, the society is becoming a dangerous place to live in, more so for the children. The demand of the current situation is to equip children adequate knowledge, skills, confidence and feeling that there are parents and teachers who they can freely approach for support when they encounter any crisis. Preventing sexual abuse has a important role to play in safe guarding the physical and psychological health and sex education from a very early stage has a very important role in ensuring this
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