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Hi, I am currently in stress. I usually get nightmares that some men are trying to rape me. In some dreams I get saved, in some I keep running away from them. In all of them the men I see once never repeat. Except for one man that haunts me frequently (which happened to abuse me sexually when I was a kid). The nightmares get worse when I am stressed, over thinking and insomniac. What am I supposed to do? I am not able to fall asleep. Please suggest me!
I am 53, have wife and a daughter (23) & a son (14). I am in a good position. I am diabetic and hypertensive. I am highly depressed and may commit suicide anytime. Help sought.
Communication is the key for a successful relationship and both partners must ensure that they discuss not just their feelings, but their problems as well with each other. Sexual disorders are one of the most common and least discussed disorders. While there are a number of forums, it is to be borne in mind that these are complex issues and include various components, such as psychological, social, physiological, and emotional. It is difficult to say that what caused impotence in one person or what worked for one person will work for all.
As much as it may not seem very pleasant, the best way to manage is to have a frank talk, both with the partner and with the doctor. Let us first look at impotence briefly. Whether erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or ejaculatory impotence, it affects the ability to enjoy normal sexual activity and the relationship is affected. With detailed discussions, most often there is a strong past history that emerges. This could be broken relationships in the past, distrust with partner's, past sexual abuse, leading to a mix of fear, guilt and anger.
This can play a deep submerged role during current acts leading to reduced pleasure. A detailed discussion should delve deep into such issues and counselling is often required. It is also important to identify any associated causes like smoking, diabetes, trauma, or other diseases. A detailed drug history is also required in most cases to elicit the exact reason.
Patients who have a psychological component are benefited greatly by counseling. It is important to involve the partner also in these sessions because it is a couple that is being treated, never an individual. Altering medications and treating the associated disorders also improve performance.
Frigidity is very less talked about, women who are not able to be aroused, cannot achieve orgasm, or do not enjoy sex are generally group under this condition. More often than not, female sexual issues have a very strong emotional or psychological component than the male issues. Medications are almost always the last resort to manage these. Sexual abuse, past disappointments, fear of failure, fear of not being able to satisfy the partner, fear of pregnancy, fear of getting hurt during sex, and various other reasons lead to frigidity in females.
There could be some cases where there are anatomical reasons leading to frigidity like malfunctioning endocrine glands and vaginal muscle spasms. These are very rare and also disappear with thorough counseling.
Be it the male or the female who is affected, the relationship for sure suffers. To strengthen the relationship, it is very important to have a heartfelt talk and work on the issue. For all you know, sometimes, it may be something that can be sorted out in just a couple of weeks.