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Parenting is not at all an easy task to do and hence, it’s one of the most researched areas in social science today. If you happen to be the parent, just ask yourself what you really want from your kid. Healthy parenting can go a long way in shaping your child’s health, both physical and psychological. The confident adult that your child grows up to be can greatly be influenced by the decisions you take as a parent and the various parenting choices you make. Just the perfect mix of love, affection, authority and strict handedness are all what it takes to try and be the best parent for your little one.
How can discipline and liberty go hand in hand?
We all learn from our mistakes, don’t we? Similarly your child will! Hence, every time your child runs around the house trying to fiddle and explore, don’t run after him. Let him be. Watch him try and fail, fall and get up, and you shall be doing him a world of good that way. Parenting is not about taking charge of anything and everything your child does and clipping his wings of passion; instead, it’s about having faith in your child and teaching him to value freedom and use it the right way. This way, you get to teach your child resilience and how to be self-reliant.
How can healthy parenting positively affect the parents?
Wouldn’t it be great if your children grow up to become responsible citizens, loved and honored by all? And if your kid really learns to respect freedom and become disciplined from an early age, it just saves your sanity and emotional balance too!
Healthy parenting is a gradual process
Healthy parenting is a habit that the parents and the kids should grow with. These can be achieved by:
- You may be the corporate honcho, but try and be the daddy dearest for your blue eyed boy. Get back home, play with him and see all inhibitions disappear.
- Cuddle up with your baby and a book and read out to him every day! Your voice will affect him positively and he would probably want to hear of you more. This induces imagination and creative power in the child and may make him an avid reader in the future.
- Make simple yet grand memories with your baby and he is sure to never forget them; can be as simple as going out for an outdoor game every weekend or swimming together on Sundays.
- Lead by example. Show him with your behavior and practicality the way you would want him/her to be later on in life. Make sure he learns and learns the right things by watching you. If your child sees you tackle and come out of a sticky situation with a cool head on your shoulders, he’s sure to imbibe the attitude in him as well. Be the captain your child needs, and he shall score big.
- Saying how much you love her a thousand times a day is not what’s really needed. Rather, be there for her when she’s down and out, the times when she would need you the most. Don’t rely on only words to forge memories with her. You can do a lot more than that.
- And lastly, try and make your child inculcate in him the belief that it's not always important to do the right things, rather try and do things right. Street-smartness is something your little beloved will ever thank you for.
In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!
Often children are seen as resilient and capable of bouncing back from almost any situation. Traumatic experiences can however lead to long lasting and severe effects that might stay even in their adult lives if they aren’t dealt with. Trauma might result from any such thing that can disrupt their safety and leave them vulnerable. These include verbal, sexual or physical abuse, an unstable environment, domestic violence, separation from parents, bullying, severe illness, or invasive medical procedures.
Despite having emotional consequences, there is still hope. Here are a few ways childhood trauma can be dealt better with:
- Accept trauma when it happens to you. Childhood trauma victims generally spend many years trying to see past what has happened to them by pretending as if nothing happened and dismissing it wholly. Another way they cope is by blaming themselves and feeling guilty about it. Healing can only begin when you accept that the traumatic incident did actually happen and that you aren’t to be blamed for it.
- Take control. Helplessness can spill over into your adulthood and make you act and constantly feel like a victim. This leads to making choices resulting from all the pain inside. The past takes control of the present when you have been victimized. Conquering the pain is the only way to get the present back in your control. Letting go of old defense mechanisms used by you as a child may be the only way to take back control of your life and bury the pain.
- You should not isolate yourself and seek support instead. Withdrawing from others is the natural instinct of most survivors of trauma. This might just make things even worse. You should take conscious steps to maintain healthy relationships and to connect with other people to facilitate the process of healing. Seeking support helps. Childhood trauma survivor support groups and talking with trusted friends and family can help heal as well.
- The ability to deal with stress increases, if you maintain better health. Get adequate rest, exercise and eat well and set a regular routine. Abstain from drugs and alcohol as they only provide relief for a temporary amount of time, but increase isolation feelings, anxiety and depression, thus worsening trauma symptoms.
- Learn to truly let go. Accepting implies embracing the trauma and deciding what you will do about it. It can dominate throughout your life unless you let it all out.
In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!
One of the most common personality disorders, BPD or borderline personality disorder often remains undiagnosed or repressed and gets passed off as mood swings or a volatile disposition. However this disorder is much more than just mood swings as it can seriously affect the quality of a person’s life. The primary manifestation of this disorder is in the way you think about yourself and others which result in the work that you need to do on a daily basis.
How does BPD manifest in your life?
The most common ways Borderline personality disorder can manifest in your life is with extreme mood swings or emotions, a discernable pattern in relationships becoming unstable after sometime, impulsive behavior, and a self–image which is distorted. BPD thus affects how you view yourself, how you feel about others and you resultant behavior in general. Some of the typical signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder are mentioned below.
Persistent feelings of emptiness
- Anger in inappropriate or unnecessary places, losing your temper very frequently, resulting in physical fights
- Fearing abandonment intensely, whether it is real or imagined and thus going huge lengths to stop it from happening
- Extreme instability in relationships which may cause a partner to be liked one moment and then hated the next
- People with BPD also tend to be suicidal which is often caused by the fear of rejection or separation
- Engaging in risky and impulsive behaviors such as
- Engaging in unsafe sex despite being aware of the implications
- Splurging money on gambling
- Leaving a good job suddenly
- A tendency to indulge in drugs
- Binge eating
- Reckless driving
- Suddenly terminating a healthy and positive relationship
- Sudden changes in values and self-identity and goals and feeling low about yourself as a result
Causes of Borderline personality disorder
In most cases borderline personality disorder can’t be exactly attributed to a single cause and in most cases, is a combination of factors. While genetic or hereditary predisposition can cause BPD it may also be triggered by other factors. Also, not curbing mal-traits in young children or encouraging such behaviors may lead to BPD as they grow up. Some of the factors that contribute to BPD are
- Abnormalities in the brain
- Childhood incidents which were stressful
- Personality traits which have worsened
If you think you have been displaying some of the symptoms for a fairly prolonged period, it is advisable that you visit a mental health professional for counseling and start with therapy as advised by them. In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!
Stress has become a part and parcel of everyday life. What people miss here is that stress can actually be the cause of various disorders, many of them severe as well. However, don’t worry as this article would try to share information on some of the easy stress management tips you can make use of every single day of your life.
Top five tips for stress management:
Before jumping onto the bandwagon, first you need to understand that every individual is different, and so are their psychological, emotional and physical environments. Thus, what might help one person to deal with his/her stress levels might not help another human being.
- Breathe: Let your lungs breathe out all your stress that is building inside you. Breathing instantly helps you relax as your diaphragm oxygenates your blood. Take a deep breath while you put your hand on your abdomen and hold on for a few seconds. Slowly exhale and you will instantly feel the difference. For better results, repeat it a few times.
- Smile: Smiling has its own advantages. Studies show that smiling can calm you. When you smile, nerve impulses are transmitted to your limbic system that help the brain to switch on the calm mode.
- Try some numbers: Rating the seriousness of your present situation can help you relive some of your stress. Rate your problem on a scale from 1 to 10; 1 being the least stressful events and 10 being the most terrible ones. Mostly, the issues we face range between 2- 5. Hence, mostly the issues we face are not gross. They can be handled without a fuss.
- Fight It Out: Many people start complaining the moment they face a problem. Stop being a victim; it triggers more stress and helplessness. Dealing with your situations on the face helps you feeling comfortable. If you miss the bus, wait for the other bus. Find the alternatives of your situation.
- Learn to say no: There is no need to appease all at every time. Learn to say ‘NO’ if you figure you would not be able to handle the particular situation well, given the resources and framework that you have at your disposal.
In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!
I am suffering from very quick anger problem. I am getting angry very quickly on very small issues or every issue. I do realize it but can not help. It is making myself feel bad after sometime when its late. Please help with solution. Also I am feeling like my head is full of subjects and too much to think. I try to avoid but can not help. Please help.
Tragedies are a part of life and at some point in life, every person faces them. It may be in different forms like separation, crisis in relationships, financial stress, death of a loved one, some severe disease and many others. Such tragedies can cripple anybody from inside out, but the children can have a devastating effect on their lives. Therefore, it is important that you love and support them during this phase and help them face the situation well.
Here are a few ways of dealing with the effects of tragedies on kids:
- Talk to them, honestly: It is important to assure the kids that they are not alone in this world and should remember that there are many other people who love them. In case of a tragedy, kids usually have a lot of pent-up feelings inside them. You need to talk to them and make them understand that instead of keeping those feelings to themselves, they should talk to you or anyone they trust. Venting out will enable them to relax.
- Act on truth: It is very important to teach the children that no matter what happens in life, there is a chance to start afresh. The kids should be surrounded with people they love, as it will make them feel a little relaxed and open. Also, it is essential for them to know that there’s always hope and not all is lost.
- Remain calm: After a large scale tragedy, your children will usually look up to you regarding, how to react in a situation. Although it is okay for your children to see you sad or in grief, but you should keep as calm as possible and do not react intensely. This will help keep them calm and less anxious.
- Reassure your children about safety: You should make your children understand that they are safe and nothing bad will happen to them. They must be reassured that no harm will come upon them as you are always with them.
- Maintain normal routine: It is essential to give your children a feeling of normalcy. You must try to maintain their normal schedule with the usual dinner time, bed time and school time. You must pay special attention to them to make them feel more secure. You should spend extra time with them and always be there for company and reassurance for any factor.
Children are affected severely by any kind of tragedies as they are fragile and immature. Tragedies disrupt the balance of life, but you must try to make your children feel the crisis as less as possible, so that they get less hampered emotionally. A troubled childhood affects the healthy growing up of a child. Consult an Expert & get answers to your questions!
Life is full of challenges. We all have our own ways of dealing with stress and strains of life. But, a strong sense of resilience can make you different from others. Winners don’t do different things, but they do it differently. That’s what you need to keep in mind. While there are hundreds of strategies to deal with stress, you need to learn the best ones to increase your sense of resilience. The more resilient you are, the better is your chance of succeeding in life. Your power of resilience is like an armour that will guard you in the battlefield of life. Here’s all that you need to know about how to become more resilient. From personal tragedies to occupational hazards, you will be able to deal with everything under the sun by following the tips below:
1. Acceptance towards change: It is important for all of us to accept a simple fact that life is dynamic in nature. Nothing in our lives is permanent. Situations and events change in our lives, bringing occasional bliss or sorrows. Therefore, if you realize the fact that change is an indispensable part of life and be a little flexible, you will automatically become more resilient.
2. Be realistic: You must have a realistic outlook towards life. Don’t let your mind be preoccupied with fanciful ideas or build castles in the air. Realism and pragmatism are the fundamentals to a healthy living. If you have a pragmatic mind and understand the real problems in life, you will not lose hope too soon. Therefore, you will be more resilient than others as you have already prepared yourself for the worst things in life by understanding the reality.
3. Control your emotions: It has been often noticed that when scuba divers drown, they are still left with enough oxygen in their tanks. It is because they have pulled off their oxygen masks at the time of danger. Researchers believe that most of us, when in danger, lose our senses and start panicking. This worsens the situation and aggravates the problems in our lives, destroying harmony and peace. Therefore, a person with better sense of resilience has better control over his emotions as well. Don’t freak out or panic at the time of danger or get depressed over an issue for long. You must have a fighting attitude in life and be prepared to face the worst.
4. Be a good communicator: It is quite true that most of our problems can be sorted out by communication. If you maintain proper communication with people and yourself and keep all channels of communication open, you will have solutions to various problems in life. This boosts your confidence and sense of resilience. If you wish to discuss any specific problem, you can consult a psychologist.
Technology may be a boon for your love life as due to technology a number of means of communication have evolved, which keep you connected with your loved one in the form of devices, software and applications. However, in spite of its benefits, they are plenty of things that come with technology, which can completeely ruin your love life. Here are some signs that technology may be creating trouble in your paradise:
- You may waste your time checking photos of ex-girlfriends and love interests. You may check out a picture of an ex on her Facebook profile and wonder about a new guy present in the picture. The same may happen with a present lover. These activities create unnecessary complications in your mind which may harm your relationship with your partner.
- You end up spending more time with your smartphone than with your partner. This may affect your relationship, as you are too engrossed with checking social media websites and posting updates instead of paying attention to your partner, who is right by your side.
- Sexting is a common trend in today's world where the exchanging of nude photos between a couple takes place via messengers and chatting platforms. This can be worrisome as you may always be concerned about your pictures getting leaked or exposed.
- You may become technologically clingy. Your partner may have texted you, and you have not been able to reply in spite of reading the text. Modern technology enables a person to see when you have read their message and when there is no response, the speculations creep in. These situation lead to host of other problems.
- It is easy to lie about something online or via texting than saying it face to face. Technology allows you to lie and make untrue statements, which are not true in real life. This creates dishonesty within a relationship.
- With technology, you have too many options at hand and this makes situations difficult. In case you want to go for a dinner with your partner, you might spend hours searching for a good restaurant by going through the ratings online.
- You may spend a lot of time deciphering text messages. Modern day texting is full of abbreviations, short forms and emoticons. Some of these may make you over think stuff, and you may try to decipher meanings from normal texts, which actually have no twisted meaning.
- With so many forms of social media, you may be confused about what to use at which stage or phase. You may think whether you should text first, should you add an interest on Facebook and should you comment on a picture. All this creates confusion and honestly there is no real conversation between you and your partner.
There is no doubt that modern technology has taken the level of communication to a new level. Technology plays significant role in keeping in touch with your friends and loved ones sitting thousands of miles away by bringing them close. But it is high time that you realize that technology is something that has driving you away from your loved one. Make an attempt to have some personal conversations without your phones, laptops and tablets. Watch a movie, go on long drives or late night walks and reignite the love and passion in your relationships. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a psychologist.