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Mental Health is - mental/emotional wellbeing. Being mentally healthy means being peaceful from within, being able to deal with life's challenges and being able to manage emotions and relationships, etc.
There is a lot of misunderstanding about "mental health" and 60% of mentally sick or disturbed people are not taken to doctors or other mental health professionals. Instead, they are taken to astrologers, or tantriks. Some are even punished for being crazy.
In today's highly stressful world people do not have time to think and plan their lives. Because of modern lifestyles and nuclear families people do not have outlets to share their feelings and express their intense emotions.
Sometimes emotional wounds like deep hurts, insults, neglect, shaming, physical and/or sexual abuse in childhood, may cause Personality or Behavioural disorders.
A person who loses temper for any small thing, or who is suspicious all the time or the one who breaks down or cries at slightest provocation, or who is jealous and possessive to the extent of being obsessed, or who is anxious all the time etc. needs to understand his/her feelings and find out the root cause of such feelings and behaviours.
- Learn to express your feelings assertively
- Become aware of your own feelings and emotions
- Understand how to manage your emotions on day to day basis (anger, fear, jealousy etc)
- Review and nurture your relationships and infuse new life into them
- Periodically get rid of past baggage, deep hurts, spoilt relationships, unresolved issues, by resolving them in your mind
- Have a daily routine where your own needs and others' needs are balanced
- Reward yourself
- Develop positive attitude: focus on good events in life and positive affirmations.
- Introspect how often you succumb to negative emotions.
- Keep company of positive people
- Devise own methods for de-stressing
- Keep away from any kind of substance abuse.
- Have some routine exercise regime.
- Do not hesitate to seek professional help from - Counsellor/Psychiatrist/Psychologist
Pay attention to your Mental Health and enjoy life!!
Everything you do in your life is basically to get someone to like you, or at least, not to dislike you. You may try to impress your parents, friends, spouse or even your colleagues, or rather you may just want someone to like you more. But this urge of ‘wanting to be liked by others’ is something almost all humans desire. In fact, it has become a way of life. Most people associate likability to physical appearance. While it does work to some extent initially, in the long run, it is your personality and behaviour that actually make a difference.
Seven ways to get people to like you:
1. Find out their interests: Every individual’s thought process is ultimately around his/her own self. Therefore, when you show a level of interest in a person, that person begins to reciprocate the interest in you. Hence the first step towards getting people to like you is by showing interest in them. This mutual admiration society builds itself in time from being virtual & simulated towards authenticity and genuinely being interested.
2. Be kind, compassionate and empathic: When someone shows warmth, it breaks the ice and makes it easier to become friendly. You don’t need to overdo anything to look attractive. You just need to be clean and maintain good hygiene and be kind to be reciprocated with the same.
3. Being humorous: People are generally more attracted towards someone who can make them laugh at times of distress. The class clown, for instance, is usually a popular kid. However, don’t constantly joke around or play pranks as the other person may get annoyed and frustrated instead.
4. Be energetic and enthusiastic: We actually tend to mirror the behaviour of those we spend more time with. Talk about what you love doing and show sincere enthusiasm and that energy will attract millions. Show them your enthusiasm through your voice, your body language and your confidence.
5. Your body language plays a role: Avoid the body language that conveys the signals of boredom or disinterest. For instance, crossing your arms at your chest gives an impression that you are disinterested in the other person and don’t want to be talked to, or, sighing heavily conveys the message that you are disgusted or frustrated.
6. Don’t be judgemental; accept the person as he/she is: Pay attention to other’s concerns and try nodding your head as you speak. Generally, people tend to mirror the body language of those around them in order to better understand what other people are feeling. By nodding your head you convey the message that you consider their views to be desirable which makes people more inclined to agree with you.
7. Smile and make an eye contact: The eyes are an incredible part of our body. Making an eye contact with someone tells them that you are engaged in what they have to say and are interested in them. Smile with your eyes, as if you are truly happy meeting or speaking to that person.
However, you don’t need to fake yourself up to get others to like you. Just be yourself and love yourself first. Being yourself however doesn’t mean you can do what ever you wish to, as you cannot be happy if you are not empathic. One needs to balance eastern and western perspectives and live by good values and integrity and others will naturally start liking you.
Shielding your ego - common defence mechanisms:
We generally try to protect ourselves from things that we don't want to think about or deal with. Just remind yourself of the last time you referred to someone as being in denial or accused someone of rationalising. Both these terms are actually referred to as defence mechanisms in psychology. Defence mechanism is an unconscious psychological mechanism that reduces anxiety arising from unacceptable or potentially harmful stimuli. In short, it is a strategy used by the ego to protect itself from anxiety.
The use of the most common defence mechanisms:
1. Denial: it is a clear refusal to admit or recognise an obvious truth about something that has happened or is upcoming. Denial functions to protect the ego from things that the individual cannot cope with. For instance, drug addicts and alcoholics often deny that they have a problem, or victims of traumatic events deny that the event ever occurred as it is too uncomfortable or traumatic to face.
2. Repression And suppression: in both repression and suppression we tend to remove anxiety provoking memories from our conscious awareness. When we consciously force unwanted information out of our awareness it is called suppression. However, even unconscious memories, as in repression don't just disappear, they continue to influence the person's behaviour. For instance, a person abused as a child might face difficulties forming relationships as an adult.
3. Displacement: it involves venting out anger, frustration and other negative impulses on people or situations that are less threatening. For instance, rather than expressing aggression or anger towards your boss, you to tend to express it towards your spouse, children, or pets as they are less threatening and have few negative consequences.
4. Sublimation: it is a way of acting out unacceptable impulses by converting them into more acceptable forms of behaviour. As freud believes, it is a mature way of behaving normally in socially acceptable ways. For instance, a childless woman might start a day care to fulfil her desire of nurturing a child.
5. Projection: it involves ascribing our unacceptable qualities or feelings to others. For instance, if you have an aversion towards someone, you might say that person doesn't respect you or doesn't like you.
6. Intellectualisation: it helps reduce anxiety by being cold and focusing more on the intellectual components of the situation, while avoiding the stressful emotional component of a traumatic or anxiety provoking situation. For instance, a person just diagnosed with cancer might focus on learning everything about it, in order to avoid distress and distant himself from the reality of the situation.
7. Rationalisation: it involves explaining an unacceptable behaviour or feeling in a more rational or logical manner, while avoiding the true reasons for the behaviour. For instance, a student might explain his poor grades by blaming the examiner rather than his own lack of preparation.
8. Regression: it involves reverting to childhood patterns of behaviour failing to cope with stressful events. For instance, an adult fixated in his childhood days might lack maturity and may cry or sulk upon hearing unpleasant news.
9. Reaction formation: it involves taking up the opposite feeling or behaviour in an attempt to hide true feelings by behaving in the exact opposite manner. For instance, treating someone you dislike in an extremely friendly manner in an attempt to hide your true feelings.
Although defence mechanisms are often thought of as negative reactions, some of these can actually help ease stress during critical times, diverting their attention to what is more necessary at the moment.
I am not able to get over somebody due to which I think I am going in depression also my gender is uncommon due to which I feel anxious I feel suffocated and I can't share this with anybody. That makes me feel I am dying day by day.
I quit alcohol 18 days ago myself without any medical treatment but now unable to concentrate on my work, feeling irritated also not feeling hungry what should I do.
Depression in today’s youth - A helping hand towards the young adults:
Though depression is more common in adults which gets worse with age, young adults are no exception to it. Feeling sad and irritable most of the time is not a normal part of adolescence. Everybody feels sad, moody or miserable at times. Usually such feelings are in reaction to something like heated arguments with family or friends, breaking up with someone, changing schools, relocating and the like. But some people feel low and hopeless most of the time. They stop enjoying life and lose interest in the activities and things they used to enjoy. Depression is more than just a low mood. it is a serious condition that makes it hard to cope up with the routine of day to day life. Getting up early and going to school or college itself might seem impossible due to the low energy levels.
If this is not detected early in life, and left untreated, it can result in under-achievers at study or work, alcohol and drugs abuse, and an increased risk of suicide. But the matter of concern here is why are so many adolescents getting depressed? According to www.suicide.org, a teen takes his/her own life every 100 minutes. Suicide is the third leading cause of death in young people aged between 15 and 24. Approximately 20 percent of teens experience depression before they reach adulthood, and between 10 to 15 percent suffer from symptoms at any one time. However only 30 percent of teens are being treated for it. The reason could be that there is more stress today than in previous generations and stress in turn, triggers depression and mood disorders. This irrepressible stress could be the result of raising children with unrealistic expectations or a lack of guidance regarding coping skills.
Five reasons that could cause depression. Taking care of them could go a long way in the prevention of Depression in today’s teens:
1. Lack of community and family support: Children who lack parental support and are looked down upon by their near and dear ones are more prone to depression.
2. Less exercise and lack of sunshine: Youngsters get so engrossed in their video games and other apps, that they become lethargic and avoid outings and socialising. A recent study shows an association between sitting time and mental health. Particularly, the longer a person sits, the more likely he/she is to have symptoms of depression. Less outdoors and more indoors with today’s technological growth is also one of the reasons for depression in today’s youth as they lack exposure to the sun and the many healing powers it carries along.
3. Increasing divorce among couples: The effect of divorce on children can be devastating. It is often seen that children are always the losers in such situations. These children are often manipulated by their patents for personal, social and financial reasons. The stress caused by such relationships on children can lead to anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and sometimes even suicide attempts.
4. Growing competition and unrealistic expectations: Some kids and adolescents don’t feel competent enough owing to their highly ambitious parent’s unrealistic expectations and demands. As a result there is a sense of worthlessness and hopelessness leading to a depressed state.
5. Improper sleep hygiene: Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. This has remained a mere cliche in today’s world with the many technological advances. One feels fragile and lethargic after a bad sleep. Exhaustion affects our mood, our energy level and our cognitive functioning. The problem is, depression can cause sleep disturbances, so it can become a vicious cycle.
Detecting early signs of hopelessness, helplessness, low self esteem, low activity levels in the youth and offering them a helping hand by giving them unconditional love and support can go a long way in the prevention of Depression.
All individuals get nervous or anxious at some point of time or the other due to a plethora of reasons. But for some individuals, anxiety becomes so frequent and forceful, that it overpower their lives. Most of the normal anxiety are short lived and the feelings may last for few hours. However, an anxiety problem becomes an anxiety disorder when anxious feelings are very intense and last for weeks or months. Anxiety disorder exists in different forms like panic attacks, social anxiety and phobia.
The most common form of anxiety is Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) during which an individual worries too much about everyday things and situations, both large and small. The person in this condition has persistent anxious thoughts on most days of the week, for six months. Moreover, the anxiety is so overpowering that it interferes with daily life and is coupled by noticeable symptoms like fatigue. The anxiety level goes to such an extent that causes a lot of dysfunction and suffering. If a person suffers from sleep problems and finds himself regularly awake and agitated or worried, then it is a tell-tale sign of generalized anxiety disorder. This is followed by a situation when one wakes up overstimulated with mind racing and one is unable to calm down.
When the anxiety is tied to a specific situation and the fear is overwhelming and out of proportion to the actual risks then the condition is phobia. This can be due to anything ranging from crowd, animals to flying in an aeroplane or using an escalator. Muscle tension like clenching of jaw or fists or flexing of muscles though out the body always accompanies anxiety disorders. Regular exercise can help keep muscle tension under control, but the tension may get triggered up if an injury or other unforeseen event disrupts a person's workout habits. Panic disorder is repeated, unexpected panic attacks where one encounters panic in a situation where most people wouldn’t be afraid. Anxiety also leads to chronic digestive problems like cramping and bloating of stomach.
Social phobia or social anxiety disorder occurs when one develops an intense fear of being judged or embarrassed in public. People with social anxiety disorder have a tendency to worry for weeks leading to an event or situation. When and if they manage it, they tend to be deeply uncomfortable and are always judgemental about it. In case of social anxiety disorder, the anxiety is triggered by everyday situations like one-on-one conversation at a get-together, or eating and drinking in front of small group. The person feels that everybody is watching him and experiences profuse sweating, trembling, nausea and person becomes tongue-tied. These disruptions make it hard for the person to meet new people and maintain relationships.
Panic disorder causes terrifying panic attacks when the person experiences a sudden gripping feeling of fear and helplessness which lasts for several minutes. It is generally accompanied with scary symptoms like breathing problems, a pounding heart, numb hands and sweating.
Excessive fear of being separated from home or a loved one is separation anxiety disorder. Post -traumatic stress disorder is an anxiety disorder in which the patient relives a disturbing or traumatic event like a violent encounter, the sudden death of a loved one.
An anxiety disorder affects the thinking, feelings as well as behaviour of a normal person. It’s important to seek professional help if one see any of the warning signs of anxiety disorders in an individual. In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!
Are you suffering from extreme depression? Does your depression episode continues for a long time and makes you feel too tired to get out of bed? Chronic depression is capable of turning your life upside down, causing turmoil with all your activities, thereby, spoiling your regular life totally. At times, a person can get so drained by depression that getting out of bed seems impossible because of fatigue. It is quite difficult to deal with such situations.
- Be depressed upright: It is likely to be driven by the voices in your head during your depression. You should respond by replying to the voices that you are depressed, but you are going to be depressed outside. This is important, as activity and depression do not go well together. You should try to stop your thinking totally and put yourself in an automatic mode. Preparing to deal with thoughts from before is beneficial. When your body is in motion, it is easier to deal with the thoughts.
- Try to make it to the shower: When you do not feel like leaving your bed at all, you should try making it to the shower somehow. Taking a shower makes you a bit relaxed and diverted and you can expect relief from your depressive episode. This is an effective way to get yourself up and running from bed, instead of isolating yourself under the blanket. Taking a shower might bring you some hope and encourage you to step out of bed and do something productive. Even if you decided to be in bed all day strictly, a refreshing shower is likely to change your mind.
- Bribe yourself: You can try bribing yourself as a reason for getting out of bed. You can remind yourself how good you will feel after having a cup of hot coffee, or how nice it would feel to listen to a certain song while going to work.
It is important to give yourself a purpose or reason to get out of bed. Many people believe that they might feel like leaving the bed in spite of being heavily depressed, if they had a worthy purpose. It is very important for you to get involved in something. You might hate a job, or hate working, but it will give you a reason to divert from your depressive thoughts.
I don't really understand why my child has changed, he is not his real self anymore, my child's academic performance has been deteriorating off late, he behaves very arrogantly and prefers to stay in his room most of the time.
Adolescence is the transitional period between childhood and adulthood. Many parents find it hard to deal with their teenagers.
Here are five different ways of dealing with the turbulence years of adolescence described by tasneem, psychologist and psychotherapist @ apollo specrra, koramangala:
1. Parents involvement: in fact this is a stage when adolescents tend to pull away from their parents, rely more on peers and become rebellious towards parents. Their typical behaviour is manifested in disobedience,
protest, and resistance, a subconscious way of seeking attention fromtheir parents and other related adults. Hence, attending to their cravingfor attention in healthier ways can help them deal with the problems of this crucial period.
2. Love and care: embracing them with more love and care, and making them feel accepted irrespective of their achievements can go a long way in helping them overcome this critical stage.
3. Reinforcing positive behaviour: strange but true, even adolescents love to be cuddled and hugged or at least appreciated and encouraged for their achievements. Hence positive reinforcement could be adopted to enhance acceptable behaviour.
4. Resolving the identity crisis: most adolescents suffer from identity crisis, being bothered with questions as-what am i, or what will I be. Hence, listening to their concerns patiently and helping them establish self identity and meaningful standards to follow can lead them towards a brighter future.
5. Family therapy: parents intervention in addressing adolescent's problems to the therapists helps gain deeper insights into this transitional phase. Researchers also agree that interaction with family members can affect the emotional health of the adolescents.
However, studies have shown that the foundation of what a child will become is laid between ages one and ten when they are most amenable and intuitive. Parents who dedicate more time in shaping their little ones
during these foundation years are more successful in understanding and dealing with their young adults in healthier ways.