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Dr. Shamala Vatsa

Psychiatrist, Bangalore

500 at clinic
Dr. Shamala Vatsa Psychiatrist, Bangalore
500 at clinic
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Personal Statement

My experience is coupled with genuine concern for my patients. All of my staff is dedicated to your comfort and prompt attention as well....more
My experience is coupled with genuine concern for my patients. All of my staff is dedicated to your comfort and prompt attention as well.
More about Dr. Shamala Vatsa
Dr. Shamala Vatsa is a popular Psychiatrist in Richmond Road, Bangalore. You can consult Dr. Shamala Vatsa at Hosmat Hospital in Richmond Road, Bangalore. Book an appointment online with Dr. Shamala Vatsa and consult privately on has a number of highly qualified Psychiatrists in India. You will find Psychiatrists with more than 30 years of experience on You can find Psychiatrists online in Bangalore and from across India. View the profile of medical specialists and their reviews from other patients to make an informed decision.


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Indian Psychiatric Society


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Meri ek girl friend .2 saal say meri ussay baat ho rhe hai .but kabhi milay nhi hai. Last usnay colg join kiya. Uska ek friend bna. .fir. Sbbkuch normal tha .hmlog sb happily baat krtay thay .but. Uska friends bhaut jyda close ho gya .hrr cheej batanay lga .meri gf ko .ke meri size itta .dono gali MAY be baat Krnay lgay .mtlb bhaut jyda close ho gye .hrr jagha meri gf ke pic lgana. Usko raat Kay 2bjay msg krna .I miss you .phailay meri gf ko meri sari baat acche lgte the .abb meri sari baat khrab lgnay lge hai .hmse jyda baat be nhi krte hai .agr krte hai to .bhaut jldi chle jate hai .yaa fir gussa ho Jate hai .wo sirf usse he baat krna pasand krte hai .call krta hu .to bhaut he rudely baat krte hai. Alg alg trha kaa excuse Dena .har time mere say jb bhi baat hote hai to .sirf apni friend ke baat krayge. Agr usko kuch bol detay hai to .bhaut gussa krte hai .hrr kosis krr dala lekin kuch be sahi nhi ho rha hai. Wo jo be bol day sbb sahi hota hai .meri sari baat khrab lgte hai.In sbka kya mtlb huwa .or bhaut jyda depress may .hai .plzz help me.

MSC Human Development , Hypnotherapy , Special Educator , ms- counselling and physiotherapy, Applied psychology Hons
Psychologist, Faridabad
Meri ek girl friend .2 saal say meri ussay baat ho rhe hai .but kabhi milay nhi hai. Last usnay colg join kiya. Uska ...
Dekho lybrate-user nirash mat ho Kya tum usse pyar karte ho ya wo sirf aapki dost hai iss baat ko clear karo apne aap se or ager aapki friend aapki feelings nahi samajh raji hai to wo aapko samajhti or jaanti hi nahi. Ho sakta hai wo aapke kabil hi na ho. Be positive for everything happens in your life. If you want any other help you can contact us.
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Male 28 yrs, from past 2-3 months my behaviour is very aggressive like suddenly I become hopeless, short temper, aggressive. Sometime in anger I hit wall so badly then suddenly I start crying then thinking of suicide, feeling of loneliness, want to run way so far from everyone. Also from past 2 weeks having headache from evening to morning. Please suggest me.

MBBS, MD (AIIMS, Gold Medalist), Diploma in CBT (Glasgow)
Psychiatrist, Delhi
Hi, Thanks for writing in, welcome to the forum. Since you are saying that the problem is happening for last three months and has not been your general nature, there is reason to suspect that a psychological disorder is playing a role and it is not merely a part of your personality. Depression can often present in this manner and an evaluation for the same is certainly warranted. Many other related psychological conditions also merit consideration and evaluation. Although the problems will eventually get better (about which there is not much doubt), for the time being it is causing a lot of distress. Treatment can be done with counseling or psychotherapy, with or without additional medicines based on the exact diagnosis and severity. I suggest that you should meet an expert in your locality for problems like this and chalk out the exact plan. The idea of suggesting certain tips or medicines online or over phone may seem tempting but in reality, in situations such as this where the exact diagnosis and severity is not clear, can become very problematic. So, I suggest that you put this plan into action and I can say with reasonable certainty that you will get better soon. Take care!
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Causes, Symptoms And Treatment of Schizophrenia

Diploma in Psychological Medicine
Psychiatrist, Ludhiana
Causes, Symptoms And Treatment of Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a debilitating mental and emotional condition that is characterised by a heavily distorted thought process as well as hallucinations and even extreme fear that borders on paranoia. Let us find out more about this debilitating disease:


  1. Genetics: Genetic factors play an important role in the development of schizophrenia.
  2. Environment: Possible environmental factors include obstetric complications, the mother's exposure to influenza during pregnancy or starvation. It has also been suggested that stress, trauma even migration can lead to the emergence of schizophrenia. 
  3. Neurodevelopmental Factors: Schizophrenia appears to be a neurodevelopmental disorder. That is changes that cause the illness have been occurring from the earliest stages of development even in utero, and may continue to influence the development of the brain over the first 25 years of life. 

This disease has a variety of symptoms include cognitive and emotional ones that can vary in the degree and severity. One of the most common symptoms included hallucinations and delusions where the patient may end up imagining things that do not really exist. The patient may also be gripped by sudden and crippling fear like paranoia, which can be debilitating as far as everyday functioning of the person goes. The symptoms can also interfere with the way a person deals with situations and life skills on a cognitive basis. Withdrawal and hopelessness are also a part of this disease.

Antipsychotics are the mainstay of treatment. The earliest signs and symptoms must be referred to a psychiatrist. The treatment involves the management of the case of an individual basis along with psychological rehabilitation programs and inclusion of the patient in self-help groups. Housing and employment programs must also be availed so as to keep the patient busy. Also, behaviour therapy will be required in such cases. The mode of counselling should usually be on a one on one basis, although many doctors also suggest that group therapy can help in showing examples of progress so as to encourage the patient to change and get a new lease of life.

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Head and limbs pain me so much pain that I do and sometimes the whole body is rigid, so all told me that treatment should be erased.

General Physician, Cuttack
Head and limbs pain me so much pain that I do and sometimes the whole body is rigid, so all told me that treatment sh...
If you are having chronic body ache, I advice you to do blood test for vitamin d3 and consult physician with report for advice and treatment.
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Hello doctor, I am 20 years old women. Day after tomorrow my final examination. I am notable to cover all topics. Infact I am not able to remember what I have read. Please give me some advice to overcome this.

Reparenting Technique, BA, BEd
Psychologist, Bangalore
First of all it is too late to pile in all that information in such a short time and hope to remember all that stuff. You are putting yourself under a lot of stress which will also jeopardize your memory. Instead study only the most important and often repeated questions, and rely on your previous memory to answer the not-so-important topics, if they appear. You could use some of these tips even though it is rather late in the day they will be still be useful: Daily exercise of at least half an hour is a must. Even if you go to a gym, ask for aerobic and/or callisthenic exercises with whatever else you are doing. A healthy body harbors a healthy mind. With regard to memory, it is very important that your brain and body is ideally rested to be able to recall whatever is required, rather comfortably. Puzzles pose problems to the brain that help it to use new pathways and neurons, which give the brain considerable exercise. It taxes the left brain to use logic to solve the myriad possibilities which other activities do not stimulate. Crosswords are excellent for vocabulary learning and use. Jigsaws and Rubik cube stimulate different permutations to finally settle on the most likely one. Picture completion and anagrams help approach problem solving from several angles. Do Sudoku, and memory co-relation activities and skills. Have a good night’s sleep, have a good breakfast of more proteins, meditate often, remain free of stress, eat a lot of fiber (whole grains, fruits and vegetables), nuts, avocado, eat dark chocolate, consume less of fat and use olive or coconut oil instead, do Yoga meditation exercises, etc. You need to check out if you are stronger visual or auditory. The visual is a better mode than the auditory. However, if you combine the two modes, you will get the best concentration. Have a special place of learning, which should be well lit, with soft painted walls, well-ventilated, with no distractions. When you get bored, study by writing. If you repeat learning at least five to seven times, you will apparently remember for a longer time. Sit comfortably but do not slouch. The reading material should be of a fairly large print. Study at small intervals of about 40 minutes and then take a break or change the subject. Short-term memory is a faculty of the left brain, and long-term memory is a feature of the right brain. When people are stressed, they tend to favor the right brain and abandon the left brain, where short-term memory resides. So, it is really very simple: deal with the stress and activate left brain functions. Here are a few suggestions to activate left brain function: shut your left nostril and breathe, move your eyes from right to left and vice versa for at least half a minute at a time, and do callisthenic exercises with some form of counting, regularly. There are some memory enhancing techniques and study methods that your teacher will be able to guide you with. If your home life is full of distractions and stress, it is likely to affect your memory, adversely. In that case, I suggest that you and the family go for counseling too.
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My mother is having treatment from a psychiatrist for last 2.5 months for depression. Now she is having burning sensation in mouth, chest hands back. Not sleeping at all. Lack of vision in eyes. She says she will not get well now.

MA - Clinical Psychology, P.G. Diploma in Guidance and Counseling, BA In Psychology
Psychologist, Mumbai
My mother is having treatment from a psychiatrist for last 2.5 months for depression. Now she is having burning sensa...
These can be side effects of medicines or she must not be drinking enough water. Keep hydrate. U have not specify why she started with medication no other details also provided by u. But if she will keep positive attitude she will be better soon. Along with medication please opt for counselling too that will help her to overcome faster.
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C.S.C, D.C.H, M.B.B.S
General Physician,
Expect More from Autistic Kids

If you think it's easy being a kid with autism, think again. Not only are you faced with all of the challenges related to a serious developmental disorder, but you're ALSO faced with a raft of raised expectations that other kids are spared.

You read that right. It's true. Kids with autism are very often expected to behave better, focus better, and interact with more social graces than kids without autism.

High Functioning Autism
And if they don't the consequences can be severe. Rather than receiving a "pass" as typical kids might ("he's having a bad day," "she's just a little shy," etc.), kids with autism who don't present themselves in a manner deemed "appropriate" can receive consequences or be quickly relegated to "special" classrooms, segregated sports teams, and yet more intensive therapies.

What do these increased expectations look like? Here are a few comparisons that may surprise you.

Typically developing children are often "addicted" to cell phones, ipads, and other devices. When addressed, they may give fleeting glances to the peers adults around them. This poor social etiquette is generally given a passing shrug, as adults note how times -- and expectations -- have changed. Not so for children on the autism spectrum. When they fail to look an adult or peer in the eye, they are challenged to do so -- and may received consequences such as the loss of a privilege if they fail to do so.
Etiquette is, let's face it, a dying art. Very few typically developing children are asked to shake hands firmly with adults while making direct eye contact and saying lines like "it's a pleasure to meet you." Children with autism, however, are taught just these somewhat archaic skills -- skills which are not only age inappropriate, but which mark them as even more "special" among their peers.

Conversation among children, particularly boys, is typically very basic. Kids may say little more than "lookit!" "Cool!" "Can I try?" for long periods of time. And that's fine. Unless the children happen to be autistic. In that case, assuming they are verbal, they are asked to ask and answer questions that are utterly inappropriate for children of their age. What 10 year old -- except an autistic child in a social skills group run, almost always, by middle-aged women -- says "how was your weekend? did you have a good time at the zoo? which animals did you like best? we went to the movies. I enjoyed seeing the new Disney film."
Plenty of typically developing children are shy, or have a tough time reading body language and social cues. When that happens, adults may note that the child is shy, and either accommodate their preferences or gently encourage more social interaction. Autistic children are not so lucky. A preference for quiet and/or solitude is rarely seen as a personal preference, and instead is viewed as an autistic symptom. As a result, it must be "remediated" through a course of social skills training, peer "buddy" events, and other therapeutic programs.
Many typically developing children have behavior issues at school. They may blurt out answers rather than raise their hands, lose focus during tests, or have a tough time sharing or collaborating. When that happens, for the most part, teachers respond with brief admonitions to "raise your hand," "play nicely," or "work with your partner." Children with autism, however, have a much tougher standard to meet. When they "blurt" or lose focus, they are subject to various consequences which may range from losing privileges to actually being transferred to a segregated school setting.
When a typical child comes home and spends time alone to wind down, parents are usually very accepting. After all, everyone needs a little alone time -- right? When a child with autism does the same, however, parents are concerned: is he making friends? Does he need more social skills therapy? There's a good chance that alone time will not be tolerated.
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I have feeling as afraid when I am studying, heat beats are high, concentration disturbed, I think it is psychological problem or studyphobia, my age 29, I get above 75% in all classes up to mba, how can solved it, please give me your suggestions.

C.S.C, D.C.H, M.B.B.S
General Physician,
I have feeling as afraid when I am studying, heat beats are high, concentration disturbed, I think it is psychologica...
You take inderal tab 10 mg morning and night and tell me privately. If you need more help I can give.
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My friend studying with me had a crush on a boy in our class she never talks to him and neither wanted to be in a relationship as her parents are against this we are taking coaching for neet please help what she must do I wanted to help her in this situation.

MBBS, MD - Psychiatry, DNB (Psychiatry)
Psychiatrist, Thrissur
Respected Madam, At your tender age, "crushes" are going to come as often as exams and both of them are going to cause a lot of unnecessary stress. Usually a "crush" tends to be associated with a much lesser amount of emotions than "love" and hence is easier to get over. In you friend's case, as your exams are fast approaching, I would be inclined to side with her parents at present, as "crushes" can be highly distracting and have a catastrophic effect on your studies. I would ask your friend to try and concentrate on her studies for now, and to take up the matter once you are done with your exams. This is much easier said than done but like you said, if its only a "crush" she should be able to do it. On the other hand, if he feelings are much more deep-rooted than a "crush" its going to be a lot more difficult and might even need professional help. If that is the case then it would be better to communicate her feelings with to her parents and tell them what she wants but 1st she has to figure out what she wants and nobody, including parents, friends or therapists can help her do that. Take Care and All the Best for your Exams.
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My brother is an alcoholic. I want to know how to go about finding the best course of action for finding a solution to this problem. Thank you.

Reparenting Technique, BA, BEd
Psychologist, Bangalore
I am very concerned that your brother has not reached what we call, ‘Hitting Rock Bottom’ as yet. To me, his Rock Bottom seems to be death if he is a heavy drinker and is completely sloshed everyday i.e. Only death can stop his addiction! Anyway do not despair as yet and you may attempt the following and see how it works: you may have tried a de-addiction center but he should not have been released if he was not ready. So in this attempt, he may be taken to another de-addiction center that is stricter and will also have follow up treatment and AA meetings for him to compulsorily attend. Ideally, your brother should want to give up alcohol himself to begin with. If not, it is going to be an uphill task and to the most part impossible. However, you should not be in want of trying. If he is unwilling to seek help, he needs to be admitted to a rehabilitation center for at least 6 months by force. If not, there are centers who will come and pick him up when he is drunk, when his resistance will be ineffective. This will require his wife's permission and written consent. After your brother returns from therapy, there will be a lot of follow-ups, both in the house and in his daily activities that must be meticulously adhered to. There is a medicine called Disulfiram, which only the doctor can prescribe, and it is very powerful that even if he attempts to drink a small quantity, he can have serious reactions that may sometimes entail hospitalization. You have to monitor his intake of the medicine and keep a close watch on him. He also has to go for regular counseling for at least three years! Apart from his health, he will also affect the family and all his children will carry genetic factors for alcoholism. If he is into business or working, he will soon not be able to continue and he will go into financial ruin. He will lose all his friends and become ostracized by his society. He will lose his dignity, self-esteem, self-confidence, and become a misfit. He will also lose his sexual capacity, liver function, heart function, kidney etc. These are all elements of the Rock Bottom concept. T will be difficult since he has become addicted to alcohol for some time and has a lot to do. The consumption of Antabuse has to be carefully monitored to see that he not only consumes the medication but is also avoiding alcohol. Ultimately, it is his will power and the support that he receives from the medical fraternity and his close and dear ones. He must also learn to substitute and deal with the oral need, a rigid value system, the script issue, and of course take a look at all the genetic factors to plan a strategy not to get into what is called ‘cross addictions’ i.e. Another form of addiction that may appear alright but is in fact as bad as the primary addiction. The center or hospital and the counselor will advise and guide him on several measures and precautions he will need to take to stay with his resolve. Even after the rehabilitation he must attend AA meetings and continue this support for a long time. The family will also need to attend some sessions and go for Al-anon meetings for their co-dependency issues. He cannot be treated in isolation because the family has gotten used to his drinking and have made some unhealthy adaptations to somehow cope. The children, and whoever else is there, will also have to attend meetings to work out their issues because of the father’s habit. In fact, they are all suffering from the Adult Children Of Alcoholics Syndrome (ACOAs), which in effect means that people are genetically predisposed to alcoholism or can have cross addiction problems and that you will have similar traits of the abusing alcoholic but in a milder form. There are special support groups for them all over the world. Should they touch or indulge in alcohol or any addictive substances or behaviors, they could also become full-fledged addicts themselves. Now you should not give up on him but neither should you harass him. Be continuously after him and in the end, you will succeed. His medical condition warrants a very strict course of action. He needs to identify why you needs to drink, and go back into his childhood to find out other influences on his personality that makes him prone to addiction. Meet with an addiction counselor and work with them to sort out this drive. The simplest thing to do is to do some other interesting activity during the evening times. Meet his oral needs with some other non-intoxicating drink like soups, juices, and sodas with lime, etc. If you think that he will find it very difficult, then admit yourself to a hospital and go for de-addiction: which normally lasts for about two weeks. Then follow that up with addiction counseling from a professional for at least three years to completely get rid of the habit. If this is also not enough, then admit yourself into a de-addiction center and stay there for at least 6 months and after that attend counseling with a professional.
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Hello. I am 25year old, and am continuously suffering from loose motion. Now I leave alcohol too but still am suffering. So please help me out. Because of this am under stress.

General Physician, Noida
Tell me for how long you are having this problem? Have you consulted any Doctor This problem may be due to irritable bowel syndrome Chronic amoebiasis other causes follow advises given below Drink lot of water Avoid food from outside, junk, fried, spicy fatty food Take fibrous diet Maintain Hygiene Avoid stress Consult me for further Management
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When I studied my books or newspaper in my mind I analysed that every body hears me but I studied in my mind I don't speak a little word than how is it possible? I think because of long time of period I was listening songs in my hand free that's why I think its possible because high senses is it possible because high periods of listening songs in handfree I could be liking your thoughts beyond your mind? please tell me the right answer sir its really help full for me please Dr. Tell me i'm right or not?

Master of Physical Therapy MPT CARDIO, BPTh/BPT
Physiotherapist, Rajkot
When I studied my books or newspaper in my mind I analysed that every body hears me but I studied in my mind I don't ...
yes you are right dear. as things or thoughts you think more about, will be coming frequently, so if thoughts are coming then let them come. don't oppose it, do Everyday yogasanas and pranayama practice. and meditation is must for you. join Art of Living Happiness workshop as soon as possible. I assure you, you will be happier then ever, and all your answers will get back your self automatically.
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I was separated from somebody close and since then I am depressed and I keep the pain to myself. Please help me.

Reparenting Technique, BA, BEd
Psychologist, Bangalore
I was separated from somebody close and since then I am depressed and I keep the pain to myself.
Please help me.
At this age, you should not take relationships so seriously. They are meant to help you assess how well you can adjust to members of the opposite sex, on a trial basis. This learning will go a long way in deciding what kind of a person will be suitable for you. Above all, you must enjoy relationships with complete liberty. The answer is there itself: you are angry about the breakup and it will make you easily irritable and depresseed. You must talk about the breakup until it is exhausted out of the system, not withdraw. Get rid of all reminders of this person and completely cleanse your life and system off of this individual. It is very hard when breakups happen and getting back to normal life can be quite difficult. However, it does not help if you withdraw from other people: they are your support system even if they are not the understanding types. There is no need for you to get into any relationship right now. Wait for some time and after you have dealt well with the breakup, you will be in a better position to be somewhat objective. Otherwise, you will carry all the baggage from the previous relationship (especially issues that remain unresolved) into the new relationship and will make many comparisons and judgments and projections with the new fellow quite, unfairly. You will just have a series of breakups and end up depressed. There is no hurry but do resolve the problems that cropped up in the previous courtship. Rectify them and you can then explore other friendships. If you don’t have a confidante to speak to, then meet with a relationship counselor and talk extensively. Sometimes you will be shocked that you even befriended such a person, if you sort out all the problems, first.
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I have aggressive behaviour memory loss high thyroid, depression, sleeplessness, wat shud I do?

Nuclear Medicine Physician, Mumbai
I have aggressive behaviour memory loss high thyroid, depression, sleeplessness, wat shud I do?
Dear , please be elaborative on what high values of thyroid do you have out of t3, t4 and tsh and whether you are on any medicine or not.
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Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
In our Indian culture, we are taught to be polite and respectful especially with elders, whatever the cost to us. We must be polite with our guests and other relationships and at the workplace. Women must be never say no their in laws if they want to be happy in their married life. Employees should never say no to their bosses or managers or else they will lose their jobs.

There are 6 main reasons why people hesitate in saying NO:

1. You want to help. You are a kind soul at heart. You don’t want to turn the person away and you want to help where possible, even if it may eat into your time.
2. Afraid of being rude. I was brought up under the notion that saying “No”, especially to people who are more senior, is rude and disrespectful.
3. Wanting to be agreeable. You don’t want to alienate yourself from the group because you’re not in agreement. So you confirm to others’ request.
4. Fear of conflict. You are afraid the person might be angry if you reject him/her. This might lead to an ugly confrontation. Even if there isn’t, there might be friction created which might lead to negative consequences in the future.
5. Fear of lost opportunities. Perhaps you are worried saying no means closing doors. For example, one of my clients’ wife was asked to transfer to another department in her company. Since she liked her team, she didn’t want to shift. However, she didn’t want to say no as she felt it would affect her promotion opportunities in the future.
6. Not burning bridges. Some people take “no” as a sign of rejection. It might lead to bridges being burned and relationships severed.

Well these reasons are not true if you are familiar with the art of saying NO. Remember those people who said no to you and you didn't feel bad about it. The trick lies in when and how to say NO.
At the end of the day, it’s about how you say “no”, rather than the fact you’re saying no, that affects the outcome. After all, you have your own priorities and needs, just like everyone has his/her own needs. Saying no is about respecting and valuing your time and space. Saying no is your prerogative.

Rather than avoid it altogether, it’s all about learning the right way to say no. After I began to say no to others, I realized it’s really not as bad as I thought. The other people were very understanding and didn’t put up any resistance. Really, the fears of saying no are just in our mind. If you are not sure how to do so, here are 7 simple ways for you to say no. Use the method that best meets your needs in the situation.

The art lies in using appropriate body language, tone and proper timing. Coming across as genuine, warm and friendly will help to set the tone of the interaction and you will be the winner.

1. “I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.”
If you are too busy to engage in the request/offer, this will be applicable. This lets the person know your plate is full at the moment, so he/she should hold off on this as well as future requests. If it makes it easier, you can also share what you’re working on so the person can understand better. I use this when I have too many commitments to attend to.

2. “Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at X time?”
It’s common to get sudden requests for help when you are in the middle of something. Sometimes I get phone calls from friends or associates when I’m in a meeting or doing important work. This method is a great way to (temporarily) hold off the request. First, you let the person know it’s not a good time as you are doing something. Secondly, you make known your desire to help by suggesting another time (at your convenience). This way, the person doesn’t feel disappointed or rejected.

3. “I’d love to do this, but …”
I often use this as it’s a gentle way of breaking no to the other party. It’s encouraging as it lets the person know you like the idea (of course, only say this if you do like it) and there’s nothing wrong about it. I often use this line when I get invitations to late night dinners and parties. Their ideas are absolutely great, but I can’t take part due to other reasons such as prior commitments or different needs.

4. “Let me think about it first and I’ll get back to you.”
This is more like a “Maybe” than a straight out “No”. If you are interested but you don’t want to say ‘yes’ just yet, use this. Sometimes I’m pitched a great idea which meets my needs, but I want to hold off on committing as I want some time to think first. There are times when new considerations pop in and I want to be certain of the decision before committing myself. If the person is sincere about the request, he/she will be more than happy to wait a short while. Specify a date / time-range (say, in 1-2 weeks) where the person can expect a reply.

If you’re not interested in what the person has to offer at all, don’t lead him/her on. Use methods #5, #6 or #7 which are definitive.

5. “This doesn’t meet my needs now but I’ll be sure to keep you in mind.”
If someone is pitching a deal/opportunity which isn’t what you are looking for, let him/her know straight-out that it doesn’t meet your needs. Otherwise, the discussion can drag on longer than it should. It helps as the person know it’s nothing wrong about what he/she is offering, but that you are looking for something else. At the same time, by saying you’ll keep him/her in mind, it signals you are open to future opportunities.

6. “I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?”
If you are being asked for help in something which you (i) can’t contribute much to (ii) don’t have resources to help, let it be known they are looking at the wrong person. If possible, refer them to a lead they can follow-up on – whether it’s someone you know, someone who might know someone else, or even a department. I always make it a point to offer an alternate contact so the person doesn’t end up in a dead end. This way you help steer the person in the right place.

7. “No, I can’t.”
The simplest and most direct way to say no. We build up too many fears in our mind to saying no. As I shared earlier in this article, these fears are self-created and they are not true at all. Don’t think so much about saying no and just say it outright. You’ll be surprised when the reception isn’t half as bad as what you imagined it to be.


Overcommitting by trying to cram too many activities into too little time leads to stress. We are much more likely to get sick when we are stressed. And chronic stress can cause serious health risks including depression and heart attacks.

1. OPEN COMMUNICATION: this way you are able to tell people who you really are and what is your capabilities and responsibilities towards yourself. This fosters for honest communication. Other people also see you as a human with virtues and limitations. This builds genuine relationships. Nowadays working women are clear about asking their husbands to pitch in towards house work and husbands are open about wanting a working spouse to support the finances. This creates space for pooling our strengths and working in collaboration with each other.

2. BOUNDARIES: with this practice you will be able to take care of those people who like to push or boss around other people to get their way. Drinking, smoking, drugs are common ways that children and adults with weaker personal boundaries, get drawn into. Learning to say no protects you from potential damage.

3. TIME FOR YOUR GOALS: You make out time for what is important to you and your vision of life. By saying no to late night parties, I am able to eat less junk, get a good sleep and get up early to exercise. Saying no to unrelated office presentations gets you time to spend with family.

Learn to say no to requests that don’t meet your needs, and once you do that you’ll find how easy it actually is. You’ll get more time for yourself, your work and things that are most important to you. I know I do and I’m happy I started doing that.

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Stress bahot Jada rahne lags hai. Body pain kya isi karan rahta hai? And physically immunity bhi down lagti hai. Apke pass in sabke lie kya ilaj hai.

General Physician, Cuttack
Stress bahot Jada rahne lags hai. Body pain kya isi karan rahta hai? And physically immunity bhi down lagti hai. Apke...
1.Go for regular exercise and play some games 2.Find time for relaxation like watching TV/listening music etc. 3.Develop some new hobby like painting/reading/writing 4. Do yoga, meditation, and deep breathing exercise like pranayama to calm your mind, control your emotions and relieve stress 5. Avoid smoking/alcohol if you take 6.Sleep for 7-8 hours daily to remain healthy 7.socialise with friends/relatives/family members 8.. Take good nourishing diet, plenty of green leafy veg tables, fruits and drink plenty of water 9. Avoid severe physical and mental exertion
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For e. G. I lost somebody close last year and since then feel very depressed and prefer keeping to myself all the time please help me.

MBBS, MD - Psychiatry
Psychiatrist, Mumbai
For e. G. I lost somebody close last year and since then feel very depressed and prefer keeping to myself all the tim...
It is natural to feel low and miss the person you have lost. However if it is interfering with your sleep, studies or general well being, or if you feel suicidal, you need to consult a psychiatrist. It is common to feel low, cry, feel like you are alone, or lose your self confidence. Usually time is the best healer. However if things are too difficult to handle you should talk to a psychiatrist or counselor. Confide in someone close to you, who will support you in this difficult time. Don't cut off from friends or family, even if you feel like you want to be alone.
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Hi, I use to smoke sometimes whenever I get frustrated. Can you tell me how effective is this?

BASM, MD, MS (Counseling & Psychotherapy), MSc - Psychology, Certificate in Clinical psychology of children and Young People, Certificate in Psychological First Aid, Certificate in Positive Psychology
Psychologist, Palakkad
Dear Lybrate user. Smoking is always dangerous for health whether it is one or two it makes no differences. Quit smoking. Take care.
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General Physician,
"Nightcaps (Drinking alcohol before bed) give you the worst sleep ever!

Any alcoholic beverage (generally brandy, wine, beer, bourbon etc) consumed before bedtime is known as a nightcap. You may have a nightcap thinking you’ll get better sleep, but did you know that it’s actually responsible for giving you a disrupted sleep pattern? Nightcaps may gradually start interfering with your sleeping quality, causing you to wake up sooner than you want.

How do nightcaps adversely affect your sleeping pattern?

Recently, a study conducted by the University of Melbourne revealed the fact that alcohol before bedtime can give you the worst sleep ever. In this study, several volunteering adults were neurologically monitored in a lab for a few days. Half of them were asked to have nightcaps, while the other half was instructed to drink non-alcoholic beverages. After completing their observation, the researchers reached the conclusion that though alcohol resulted in greater number of sleeping hours, it left the participants feeling dehydrated and less refreshed in the morning due to fragmented sleep. This is because the sleep induced by nightcaps is very shallow, and having nightcaps regularly can result in less restorative sleep.

The side-effects of nightcaps

Ruining your sleep is not the only ill effect nightcaps have on your health. Nightcaps give rise to other issues too, like snoring and night sweats. Moreover, consuming alcohol before falling asleep also weakens your immune system, damages your memory, speeds up the ageing process, results in nightmares, and causes headaches and insomnia. In fact, regular nightcaps are bad for your heart too.

4 ways how you can prevent alcohol from affecting your sleep pattern

Nonetheless, if you want to include a bit of alcohol to your dinner, it can be done in the correct way to ensure that it doesn’t affect the quality of your sleep. You can follow these simple rules to minimise the ill effects of nightcaps:

1. Stick to the three hour rule: Ensure that you drink alcohol at least 3 hours prior to sleeping.

2. Limit yourself to a fixed amount: Always consume alcoholic beverages in moderation and try to limit yourself to only one or two drinks every day.

3. Sleep early: Try to avoid staying awake longer than you usually do as this adds up to alcohol’s abilities of disturbing your sleep.

4. Increase your water intake: Prevent your body from getting dehydrated by the effect of alcohol by consuming at least one glass of water for each glass of alcohol. Additionally, don’t forget to sip a few glasses of water after waking up in the morning.

Sleep is important for your overall well being, so try not to compromise with it by consuming nightcaps regularly, especially after knowing about its devastating effects.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

To get more such tips and ask health-related questions from trusted doctors of India, download Lybrate App on your smartphone today. Enjoy Healthy Living
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Sir am addict of smoking, when any tense situation came before me. I suddenly run towards the ciggerate. Sir please suggest me some ways to leave this bad habit. Please sir. If you do not guide me I will be ash of ciggrate.

Psychiatrist, Hyderabad
Hi, I understand how frustrating it can be, but there is hope. We have nicotine replacement therapy in the form of nicotine gums or lozenges. Nicotine gums are available over the counter without any prescription. It occurs in two strengths, 2mg and 4mg. You can take each gum in every 1-2 hrs for 6 weeks and every 2-4 hrs for next 3 weeks and subsequently twice daily for another 3 weeks before slowly tapering it. All this should be done only if you stopped smoking completely. However a lot of motivation is required throughout the process. It would be apt if this is carried out in a proper clinical set up under the guidance of a professional where other comorbid issues can be taken care of.
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