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Dr. Sailaja

M.B.B.S, D.P.M

Psychiatrist, Bangalore

22 Years Experience
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Dr. Sailaja M.B.B.S, D.P.M Psychiatrist, Bangalore
22 Years Experience
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Personal Statement

Hello and thank you for visiting my Lybrate profile! I want to let you know that here at my office my staff and I will do our best to make you comfortable. I strongly believe in ethics; a......more
Hello and thank you for visiting my Lybrate profile! I want to let you know that here at my office my staff and I will do our best to make you comfortable. I strongly believe in ethics; as a health provider being ethical is not just a remembered value, but a strongly observed one.
More about Dr. Sailaja
Dr. Sailaja is a renowned Psychiatrist in Rajaji Nagar, Bangalore. She has been a successful Psychiatrist for the last 22 years. She is a M.B.B.S, D.P.M . You can meet Dr. Sailaja personally at Sneha Clinic in Rajaji Nagar, Bangalore. Save your time and book an appointment online with Dr. Sailaja on Lybrate.com.

Lybrate.com has a nexus of the most experienced Psychiatrists in India. You will find Psychiatrists with more than 34 years of experience on Lybrate.com. You can find Psychiatrists online in Bangalore and from across India. View the profile of medical specialists and their reviews from other patients to make an informed decision.

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Education
M.B.B.S - Rangaraya Medical College - 1995
D.P.M - Andhra Medical College - 2000
Languages spoken
English

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Sneha Clinic

2989, 5th Cross, Near to Navrang Theater, Marian Palya Park, Rajajinagar II Stage, Near New Metro Station,Bangalore Get Directions
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I have very bad habit of smoking, day by day I am getting sick, this time what should I do?

BASM, MD, MS (Counseling & Psychotherapy), MSc - Psychology, Certificate in Clinical psychology of children and Young People, Certificate in Psychological First Aid, Certificate in Positive Psychology
Psychologist, Palakkad
Dear user, Welcome to lybrate-user. Tobacco is addictive. Cigarette also contains 4000+ carcinogenic chemicals other than nicotine. Nicotine and other chemicals can cause cancer of different types and areas. Throat cancer, mouth cancer, lung cancer, stomach cancer and brain problems can result. Over and above smoking may also increase the risk factor of heart attack and brain stroke. Please quit smoking. The best method is to leave it and continue with your will power. There are other methods like Nicotine Replacement therapy and pharmacotherapy combined. If you’re ready to stop smoking and willing to get the support you need, you can recover from nicotine addiction and abuse abuse—no matter how bad the addiction or how powerless you feel. The first step in treating nicotine addiction is accepting that you have a problem. Confronting an addiction and accepting responsibility for your actions isn’t easy. But it’s a necessary step on the road to treatment and recovery. You should then consult a psychiatrist / psychologist who fill follow this treatment. 1. Detoxification using medicines. 2. Behavior modification with the help of therapies. 3. Counseling. 4. Medication to sustain and 5. Long term support. These given steps are essential for any addict to get effectively rid of smoking. Therefore, you need to stick to the treatment plan and cooperate with your psychiatrist / psychologist. Mind power building therapy, motivation therapy etc should help you doing so. I suggest you to consult a psychologist or de addiction therapist. Take care.
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Hi. I really need help. I am dying with social anxiety or social phobia. It is extremely painful for me everyday. Today I joined the new company and I was not able to introduce my self. I was in very trouble and wanted to quit the office on the support bcz of fear. I was not able to speak my name in front of people. My communication is getting very poor day by day. It is not new I have been suffering from this from last 4 years. I have visited many doctors and changed many anti depression tablets none of them worked. please suggest me the solution and best medicine which is very very effective on social phobia. Try to understand communication is must in my field otherwise it will cause to quit my job sooner and I dont understand anything in sessions or tanning which going on in my office. I feel my mind has been shut down. It takes very long time to come in normal situation. please plz help me out. I am still worrying what is going to be happen next day bcz I wont be able to speak and wont able to answer the questions in session. Thnx:((

BASM, MD, MS (Counseling & Psychotherapy), MSc - Psychology, Certificate in Clinical psychology of children and Young People, Certificate in Psychological First Aid, Certificate in Positive Psychology
Psychologist, Palakkad
Hi. I really need help. I am dying with social anxiety or social phobia. It is extremely painful for me everyday. Tod...
Dear , I can understand. I suggest you not to worry much. There are many people out there with social anxiety disorder. Many of them are able to manage their day to day activities. Many of them are cured. I am sure, you will also be cured of your problem if you approach the problem positively. I suggest you one or two online counseling sessions and psychotherapy techniques should help you. Please post a private question to me. Take care.
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I am smoking from last 4 years I want to quit in smoking how to get the solution for this.

BASM, MD, MS (Counseling & Psychotherapy), MSc - Psychology, Certificate in Clinical psychology of children and Young People, Certificate in Psychological First Aid, Certificate in Positive Psychology
Psychologist, Palakkad
Dear, Tobacco is addictive. Cigarette also contains 4000+ carcinogenic chemicals other than nicotine. Smoking can affect your mouth, throat, lungs, heart, stomach and brain in many ways. Cancer is one among the potential diseases smoking can cause. The best method is to leave it and continue with your will power. There are other methods like Nicotine Replacement therapy and pharmacotherapy combined. Nicotine chewing gums too help as an alternative for cigarettes. But still you will need will power. You may consult a physician or deaddiction therapist or a rehabilitation facility for further advice. You can also opt for online deaddiction therapy. Take care.
1 person found this helpful
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Hello sir, Actually since yesterday I am having fever and body pains also. And every joint of body is paining. What should i do?

AUTLS, CCEDM, MD - Internal Medicine, MBBS
General Physician, Faridabad
Hello sir, Actually since yesterday I am having fever and body pains also. And every joint of body is paining. What s...
-Dolo-650 mg twice or thrice daily can be taken to lower a fever . -Wear loose fitting clothes and don’t overdress. Overdressing can cause temperature to rise further. -Tepid water (85 F [30 C]) baths may help bring down a fever -The body should be cooled with a wet sponge. -Fever can cause severe dehydration. Drink plenty of fluids.. Have citrus fruits, particularly Vitamin C rich ones like mausami,Amla juice etc. -Take light and easily digestible home cooked meals .avoid outside food
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Dear sir, my mother is old and she is getting those panic attacks feels restless please advice.

C.S.C, D.C.H, M.B.B.S
General Physician,
Dear sir, my mother is old and she is getting those panic attacks feels restless please advice.
It seems she has age related depression or other mental stress. You can check her cbc, tft and inform me privately.
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Hello guys I'm facing little stammering issue and no fluency in speech, and it's sometime hard to initiate speech, and always slipping my words pls help.

D.H.L.S, B.A.S.L.P, M.A, B.Ed .SE . ( H.I )
Speech Therapist, Delhi
Properly speech and language assessment by speech therapist advice: _breathing exercise different types small and long sentence slow speed speaking some time properly speech therapy by speech therapist.
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When I am starting reading books why I am thinking more more and out side study at reading time. I m trying to best to concentrate my books but I m thing much more and not ri concentrate on books at that time and I have coming exams 10th class. Now please give me some good suggestion so I can concentrate on my study. Mm please.

Reparenting Technique, BA, BEd
Psychologist, Bangalore
Your mind is obviously very distracted. If this distraction is because of stress as is normally the case, then you will need to attend to that and your concentration will happily return. It may also be that you are not interested in your studies because it may not be suitable to your aptitude. Please meet with a career guidance counselor and do some aptitude tests that will also determine what your natural skills are and then choose an appropriate career and course. If you are not made for long study courses then you could choose to do something technical, instead. I also suspect that the adolescent issues with regard to hormones may have affected your ability to concentrate and have interest in your studies too. When the hormones play up, it lasts for a period of close to two years and during that time you could be influenced by three signs directly impacted by the chemical: you will tend to become aggressive and rebellious, you will become sexually active, and you will have acne and pimple problems. The hormonal imbalances may not only impact your memory because of the chemical but also bring some distractions that come with it. You must be absolutely sure that you are not bored because of these influences to make a radical decision and quit studies. You will regret later and then the time cannot be turned back. For your problems with concentration here are a few guidelines: Daily exercise of at least half an hour is a must. Even if you go to a gym, ask for aerobic and/or callisthenic exercises with whatever else you are doing. A healthy body harbors a healthy mind. With regard to memory, it is very important that your brain and body is ideally rested to be able to recall whatever is required, rather comfortably. Puzzles pose problems to the brain that help it to use new pathways and neurons, which give the brain considerable exercise. It taxes the left brain to use logic to solve the myriad possibilities which other activities do not stimulate. Crosswords are excellent for vocabulary learning and use. Jigsaws and Rubik cube stimulate different permutations to finally settle on the most likely one. Picture completion and anagrams help approach problem solving from several angles. Do Sudoku, and memory co-relation activities and skills. Have a good night’s sleep, have a good breakfast of more proteins, meditate often, remain free of stress, eat a lot of fiber (whole grains, fruits and vegetables), nuts, avocado, eat dark chocolate, consume less of fat and use olive or coconut oil instead, do Yoga meditation exercises, etc. You need to check out if you are stronger visual or auditory. The visual is a better mode than the auditory. However, if you combine the two modes, you will get the best concentration. Have a special place of learning, which should be well lit, with soft painted walls, well-ventilated, with no distractions. When you get bored, study by writing. If you repeat learning at least five to seven times, you will apparently remember for a longer time. Sit comfortably but do not slouch. The reading material should be of a fairly large print. Study at small intervals of about 40 minutes and then take a break or change the subject. Short-term memory is a faculty of the left brain, and long-term memory is a feature of the right brain. When people are stressed, they tend to favor the right brain and abandon the left brain, where short-term memory resides. So, it is really very simple: deal with the stress and activate left brain functions. Here are a few suggestions to activate left brain function: shut your left nostril and breathe, move your eyes from right to left and vice versa for at least half a minute at a time, and do callisthenic exercises with some form of counting, regularly. There are some memory enhancing techniques and study methods that your teacher will be able to guide you with. If your home life is full of distractions and stress, it is likely to affect your memory, adversely. In that case, I suggest that you and the family go for counseling too. Whatever happens, do not rush your decision and make it with your parents involved and some close teachers who know you well.The following foods do help too: Blueberries, walnuts, turmeric, Spinach, tomatoes, broccoli, acorn squash, green tea, oily fish, boiled egg, turkey, apples, oatmeal, leafy greens, lentils, pumpkin seeds, avocado, cinnamon, thyme, sunflower seeds, and red wine. Now take you pick!
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Hi I am suffering anxiety panic attacks from the last 2 yrs. My weight is also increasing .i am on ashwagandha rt now.

Bachelor of Arts (Psychology), MA Clinical Psychology, Diploma in Hypnotherapy, Diploma in Naturopathy & Yogic Science (DNYS), Certificate in Naturopathy & Yoga
Psychologist, Nagpur
Hi I am suffering anxiety panic attacks from the last 2 yrs. My weight is also increasing .i am on ashwagandha rt now.
Dear Lybrate user Panic attacks have become very common these days. During an attack try to think logically (that this is just an anxiety attack and there is nothing dangerous in this) because panic attack blocks our thinking. Also do deep breathing (belly breathing) so that you get more oxygen. Also eat healthy and sleep well. Sleep is very important and make sure that you get a good quality of sleep and that too on time. Exercise or do anything or do yoga or meditation. Find the triggers or situations or places or people which give you anxiety and panic attacks and try to avoid them or deal in a healthier way. Psychotherapy and clinical hypnotherapy together give best results in this. Many people have got rid of their panic attacks in Bhati Mind Care. Weight has psychological factors and weight loss is more of a mental process. Its due to the stress anxiety emotional eating faulty habits and patters poor lifestyle etc. So this can also be cured by psychotherapy and clinical hypnotherapy. You can contact me for more information.
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I have a problem in mentally. Which is now physical also. Something is creep into my skin specially in head, hand, face, chest, belly. I can't imagine things. Hearing some noise. Fear about die of relatives etc. please help

MBBS, MD - Psychiatry, MBA (Healthcare)
Psychiatrist, Davanagere
I have a problem in mentally. Which is now physical also. Something is creep into my skin specially in head, hand, fa...
Hi there ~ Early warning signs of schizophrenia In some people, schizophrenia appears suddenly and without warning. But for most, it comes on slowly, with subtle warning signs and a gradual decline in functioning long before the first severe episode. Many friends and family members of people with schizophrenia report knowing early on that something was wrong with their loved one, they just didn’t know what. In this early phase, people with schizophrenia often seem eccentric, unmotivated, emotionless, and reclusive. They isolate themselves, start neglecting their appearance, say peculiar things, and show a general indifference to life. They may abandon hobbies and activities, and their performance at work or school deteriorates. The most common early warning signs of schizophrenia include: Social withdrawal Hostility or suspiciousness Deterioration of personal hygiene Flat, expressionless gaze Inability to cry or express joy Inappropriate laughter or crying Depression Oversleeping or insomnia Odd or irrational statements Forgetful; unable to concentrate Extreme reaction to criticism Strange use of words or way of speaking While these warning signs can result from a number of problems—not just schizophrenia—they are cause for concern. When out-of-the-ordinary behavior is causing problems in your life or the life of a loved one, seek medical advice. If schizophrenia or another mental problem is the cause, treatment will help. Signs and symptoms of schizophrenia There are five types of symptoms characteristic of schizophrenia: delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech, disorganized behavior, and the so-called “negative” symptoms. However, the signs and symptoms of schizophrenia vary dramatically from person to person, both in pattern and severity. Not every person with schizophrenia will have all symptoms, and the symptoms of schizophrenia may also change over time. Delusions A delusion is a firmly-held idea that a person has despite clear and obvious evidence that it isn’t true. Delusions are extremely common in schizophrenia, occurring in more than 90% of those who have the disorder. Often, these delusions involve illogical or bizarre ideas or fantasies. Common schizophrenic delusions include: Delusions of persecution – Belief that others, often a vague “they,” are out to get him or her. These persecutory delusions often involve bizarre ideas and plots (e. G. “Martians are trying to poison me with radioactive particles delivered through my tap water”). Delusions of reference – A neutral environmental event is believed to have a special and personal meaning. For example, a person with schizophrenia might believe a billboard or a person on TV is sending a message meant specifically for them. Delusions of grandeur – Belief that one is a famous or important figure, such as Jesus Christ or Napolean. Alternately, delusions of grandeur may involve the belief that one has unusual powers that no one else has (e. G. The ability to fly). Delusions of control – Belief that one’s thoughts or actions are being controlled by outside, alien forces. Common delusions of control include thought broadcasting (“My private thoughts are being transmitted to others”), thought insertion (“Someone is planting thoughts in my head”), and thought withdrawal (“The CIA is robbing me of my thoughts”). I hope this helps. Take care and have a lovely day.
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Hello friends I am a 32 year old you know I am badly addivt to smoking what should I do noe to get rid of this habit. I am fully fed up.

BHMS
Homeopath, Faridabad
Hello, smoking is injurious to health. Smoking can have serious effects on your life. The longer you smoke, the more damage you do to your body. If you want to quit smoking then take the below treatment:- take tabacum 200, 5 drops once in a week and arnica 30 ch, 5 drops once daily. Daphne indica 1x, 2 tabs twice daily. Revert me after 1 month.
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I am having depression. Can't concentrate on anything. Mind gets diverted. What should I do.

Masters in Clinical Psychology
Psychologist, Lucknow
I am having depression. Can't concentrate on anything. Mind gets diverted. What should I do.
Practice yoga and meditation. Although you could technically consider yoga your daily exercise, practicing the deep stretches and slow body movements will help you to clear your mind. Meditating - clearing your mind - while practicing gentle yoga will give double the relaxation effect to ease your stress. Use guided imagery to imagine a place that makes you feel at peace. Imagine somewhere that you feel happy; focus on the details to fully remove your mind from the present. Do yoga alone or in a group setting to help you learn new poses. As you advance in your yoga, you will be able to form complex stretches that force you to focus and take your mind off your stress. Practice deep relaxation by doing progressive muscle relaxation. This is when you work through your body by tensing your muscles, holding the tension for ten seconds, and then releasing it. This will soften and relieve all the muscles in your body. Learn to relax. Relaxing your body, by whatever natural means, is a great way to reduce stress. Don't expect your stress to immediately dissipate; it can take time. In most cases, try not to fixate on the stress itself while you're relaxing. Think of something placid and tranquil, or think of nothing in particular. Let your body tell your mind that everything is okay. Listen to calm and soft music. Music really gets you relaxed and happy. Try listening to music with no vocals and pick music with instruments like the flute, piano, or violin. Classical, jazz, or folk tunes generally work well, but if that's not your cup of tea, choose music that puts you in a good place. Eat properly. Your body needs to be healthy, strong, happy and properly fueled to help you tackle stress. Like it or not, stress is a bodily reaction to anything that disturbs its natural state, meaning that your body can have a profound effect on producing and relieving stress. Water has been shown to relieve stress. That's because a dehydrated body creates cortisol, a stress hormone. An under-hydrated body creates stress to motivate the owner of the body to properly care for him/herself. Start decreasing caffeine and alcohol intake. In some cases, alcohol intake increases stress response in humans while being linked to substance dependency, a stressful condition itself. Caffeine is also responsible for raising stress levels, especially at work, so try to stick to water as a general rule. Eat a healthy breakfast and healthy snacks during the day. It is better to eat several smaller meals throughout the day than to consume three large meals. For a healthy stress-free diet, consume more complex carbohydrates such as whole-grain breads and pasta, foods high in vitamin a such as oranges, foods high in magnesium like spinach, soybeans or salmon, and black and green tea, which contain antioxidants.
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I sleep till 9 am. I feel tried though I used to do household work. I sleep at 12 am sometimes at 2. I feel depressed n unwanted things come to mind. Please help me out to solve this problem.

MBBS, MBA (Healthcare)
General Physician, Delhi
I sleep till 9 am. I feel tried though I used to do household work. I sleep at 12 am sometimes at 2. I feel depressed...
avoid day time sleep. avoid tea, coffee, cola in late evening and after,take healthy diet, avoid stress. 8 hours sleep is ok. 10 pm to 6 am is good timing.
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I know I overeat at meals, but I can't help it. If I limit my portions, I'm hungry an hour later. How can I avoid overeating and have better control of my appetite? My stomach aches, thought it becomes fine in a day, but still it pains regularly, what to do?

Reparenting Technique, BA, BEd
Psychologist, Bangalore
I know I overeat at meals, but I can't help it. If I limit my portions, I'm hungry an hour later. How can I avoid ove...
I think you have an emotional eating disorder. You need to identify the emotion that is behind the excessive eating: are you sad, angry, afraid or happy that you tend to want to eat every time? When you have done that it is as simple as addressing the feeling that feeds into the over-eating and you will cease to have a problem. This can be done with a counselor, ideally. Many of us over-eat when emotionally distraught. I don't know if you are over-weight and for some people weight gain is an effect of the depression. Apart from that it is likely that your metabolism might have reduced considerably making you susceptible to gain weight even with small quantities of food. If you still want to eat (I mean healthy food of course), you can consume more, if you did some noteworthy exercise, after getting approval from your doctor. Exercise boosts your metabolic rate and help produce anti-depressant quite naturally. Foods also boost metabolism: egg whites, lean meat, water, chili peppers, coffee, green tea, milk, whole grains, and lentils. Cucumber is a zero calorie food and takes long to digest and much metabolism too. If you have it before each meal and any amount too, it will curb the amount of consumption - even tea and coffee has that effect. Even so, the addictive aspect of eating involves the obsession and compulsion i.e. your mind will be always thinking about food and then it will feed into a compulsion to consume something. So, if you occupy yourself, (not busy) then the mind will not think too much on food and therefore it will negate the compulsion.
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Effective Communication Between Couples

MD - Psychiatry
Psychiatrist, Delhi
Effective Communication Between Couples

When you spend so much time with someone you are bound to have at least an occasional difference of opinion, to say the least, and it’s not always easy to keep objective and levelheaded when you enter into a disagreement with your partner. When this happens, remember to use these effective communication skills with your partner to improve the odds of reaching a solution that is in the relationship’s best interest.

This is because no matter how much you love and respect each other, it might not be possible to always keep cool and be levelheaded while entering into a disagreement with your significant other.

Here are a few effective communication skills that can improve the odds of reaching an amicable solution:

  1. Use ‘I’ in the statement: Never blame your partner. This can make your partner feel that you are trying to attack your partner’s feelings, which often takes a negative turn. For example, if your partner is late, you can say “I would have appreciated if you had called me”. In this case, it’s all about how you feel and so it’s now up to the partner to appreciate, understand and consider your situation.

  2. Don’t interrupt; listen first: Generally, in an argument, both the partners usually wait for their turn to talk and spurt out their anger and resentment. But this often makes things get worse. Most of the time, disagreements and petty discords, often, get resolved more easily, when someone pays more attention to the cause that might be making the other person upset. Also, watch out for the other person’s body language for getting a grip of his/her feelings. Try and pay undivided attention to what your partner has to say. Only when you have understood what might be the reason for all the hullaballoo, should you start explaining.

  3. Don’t dig up the Past: Always stick to the discussion and the controversy at hand. Never dig up old corpses. Digging up past hatchet will only churn out further heated arguments, things you surely would want to avoid. Remember, resolving multiple conflicts could only get nastier and even more difficult.

  4. Explain later, Acknowledge first: The most effective way of avoiding sudden escalation of disagreements is to first listen and acknowledge your partner’s feelings. Do it even if you think that the other person’s argument lacks reason. Take your time to hear out the other person.

  5. Maintain a Positive and a Respectful Tone: Lastly, maintain a positive and a respectful tone. And never abuse. Abusing is derogatory and can invite further malice that will only keep on spiraling north. There never was and will never be any alternative to maintaining dignity and holding your ground no matter how much the malice is. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a doctor.

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I'm 25 years old, my name is prashant. And I loose my concentration while study, so please help me.

MBBS
General Physician, Mumbai
I will suggest you to do suryanamaskar pranayam daily as per your capacity for a minimum of six months.
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Sir I have a problem watching videos in youtube in that heroine beats innocent hero by using whip (korada)(ex: film khaidi no 786) or villian beats innocent woman in the form of flogging (tied to pole). I am always searching whipping, spanking, or canning scenes in movies after watching within a fraction of sec. I will MASTURBATING by feeling fantasy of my schoolgirl thinking that I am a slave (servant) of her she giving coral punishment to me, After masturbating I feel guilty lot of time I am wasting unnecessary things how to overcome to it.

MD - Psychiatry
Psychiatrist, Thane
Sir I have a problem watching videos in youtube in that heroine beats innocent hero by using whip (korada)(ex: film k...
Dear lybrate-user, You seem to have a sexual fetish. It is not a serious illness by itself unless you feel compelled to act on your fantasy. That would be a problem. Also your fantasy seems to cause you guilt and you are not comfortable with it. I would also need to know how this is affecting other areas of your life. CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) should help you overcome your problems. Kindly consult a psychiatrist for CBT regarding your fetish. Several treatment sessions could be required and a close follow up is essential till you overcome the problem. As such consulting a local doctor is advisable. However for your information I've been able to help one patient based in the US who had similar problems and who could overcome it with help from me. He is now happily married.
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I am feeling very stressful because of my workload. What should I have to feel stress free.

M.Phil - Psychology
Psychologist, Bangalore
I am feeling very stressful because of my workload. What should I have to feel stress free.
You are feeling stress because your are unable to divide your time between personal life and professional life. I understand that the work demands more from you. But you should understand that your brain and body needs some rest so that it can re gains its energy levels. Firstly, don't take tension of work completion, and use your time peacefully and plan things. You get better ideas when you are not disturbed. Try to take time out of your busy schedule to relax yourself. Maybe you can go out for a movie, dinner or just family or friends outing. Just take few hour from your busy schedule. You will see things will change and you can work better and happily.
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I had a breakup 4 months ago. And i am not able to let go of her or thinking about her.

BHARAT JYOTI, MRACGP, INCEPTOR, MD-PhD, MD - Psychiatry, FIPS, Fellow of Academy of General Education (FAGE), DPM, MBBS
Psychiatrist, Bangalore
Since she was a sexual partner, your obsession with your ex-partner is normal. You need to ignore this thought with CBT.
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She always having a complaint of body pain for that she is taking combiflam which is not good for the body and she also have b. P. So what to do so her this problem get solved.

BHMS
Homeopath, Faridabad
She always having a complaint of body pain for that she is taking combiflam which is not good for the body and she al...
Hello, take Rauvolfia 1x, 2 tabs once daily in the morning . BC NO 27 , 5 tabs twice daily and Alfavena malt , 2 tsp twice daily. Revert me after 15 days.
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Hey doctor from sometime I have been under going worst changes in my life. I have lost my patience I get angry at small things. I remain frustrated. I started hating my life. I used to be a fun loving guy but now I want to be alone. Little things hurt me and hurt my ego. I can't be in a group of people. M loosing my friends. I hurt my parents. I care for them but don't know why always things go wrong. I start shouting at them. Doctor please help me. I was never like this before. These changes are ruining my life and career.

C.S.C, D.C.H, M.B.B.S
General Physician,
Frustrationlife is full of frustrations. From the minor irritations of losing something to the major problem of continued failure towards a desired goal. Since many of the things we truly want require a degree of frustration, being able to manage frustration is required in order to allow us to remain happy and positive even in trying circumstances. Understanding frustration frustration is an emotion that occurs in situations where a person is blocked from reaching a desired outcome. In general, whenever we reach one of our goals, we feel pleased and whenever we are prevented from reaching our goals, we may succumb to frustration and feel irritable, annoyed and angry. Typically, the more important the goal, the greater the frustration and resultant anger or loss of confidence. Frustration is not necessarily bad since it can be a useful indicator of the problems in a person's life and, as a result, it can act as a motivator to change. However, when it results in anger, irritability, stress resentment, depression or a spiral downward where we have a feeling of resignation or giving up, frustration can be destructive. What causes frustration? frustration is experienced whenever the results (goals) you are expecting do not seem to fit the effort and action you are applying. Frustration will occur whenever your actions are producing less and fewer results than you think they should. The frustration we experience can be seen as the result of two types of goal blockage, i. E. Internal and external sources of frustration. Internal sources of frustration usually involve the disappointment that get when we cannot have what we want as a result of personal real or imagined deficiencies such as a lack of confidence or fear of social situations. Another type of internal frustration results when a person has competing goals that interfere with one another. The second type of frustration results from external causes that involve conditions outside the person such as physical roadblocks we encounter in life including other people and things that get in the way of our goals. One of the biggest sources of frustration in today's world is the frustration caused by the perception of wasting time. When you're standing in line at a bank, or in traffic, or on the phone, watching your day go by when you have got so much to do, that's one big frustration. External frustration may be unavoidable. We can try to do something about it, like finding a different route if we are stuck in traffic, or choosing a different restaurant if our first choice is closed, but sometimes there is just nothing we can do about it. It is just the way life is. Our goal in dealing with external sources of frustration is to recognize the wisdom of the serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. One can learn that while the situation itself may be upsetting and frustrating, you do not have to be frustrated. Accepting life is one of the secrets of avoiding frustration. Responses to frustration some of the" typical" responses to frustration include anger, quitting (burn out or giving up), loss of self-esteem and self-confidence, stress and depression. Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper anger: there is a saying" frustration begets anger and anger begets aggression. Direct anger, is expressed toward the object perceived as the cause of the frustration. If a machine does not work, you might hit it or kick it. If someone gets in your way, you could verbally threaten them or push them aside. If the source of the frustration is too powerful or threatening for direct aggression, displaced aggression is often used. The aggression is redirected toward a less threatening and more available object. An angry person often acts without thinking. The person has given in to the frustration and they have given up restraint. Anger can be a healthy response if it motivates us to positive action but all too often the actions we engage in when angry are destructive. Indeed, if we could see a videotape of ourselves getting angry, the humiliation might well help cure us of anger. When you feel frustration building, you have to practice learned responses that lead to healthy actions instead of destructive ones. Giving up: giving up on a goal can be productive if the goal is truly out of reach. However, more often giving up (quitting or being apathetic) is another form of giving in to frustration. When repeatedly frustrated, people can drop out of school, quit jobs, or move away. Apathy is giving up all of your goals, so you cannot be frustrated by trying to reach them. We live in difficult time and we have to be persistent in order to accomplish. Consider how many projects you began, and then gave up, because you became frustrated and lost patience. Make a list of things you started and quit because they seemed too difficult. Now calculate the disappointment and loss you suffered by not dealing with the frustration in a more healthy way. Try to remember that quitters never win, and winners never quit. Losing your temper means you're a quitter. Loss of confidence: is a terrible frequent side effect of giving up and not fulfilling your goal. A loss of self-confidence and self-esteem, means that if we quit once, then the next time we plan a goal, we may not be able to accurately assess our ability to carry it out and we stop trusting ourselves and our own abilities. This became a self-fulfilling and self-destructive attitude. You need to be able to learn that when the going gets tough, you say to yourself" it is worth it! and by following through, it not only gets the job done, but it builds self-confidence. Stress: is the" wear and tear" our body and mind experiences as we adjust to the frustrations our continually changing environment. Too frequently, extreme, or prolonged frustration and stress strains us and generates distress signals. Our body experiences distress signals in a variety of ways, often in the form of: irritability, anger, fatigue anxiety, headache, depression, stomach aches, hypertension, migraines, ulcers, heart attacks, or colitis. Depression: depression can affect almost every aspect of your life. It affects people of all ages, income, race, and cultures. Depression can affect the way you eat and sleep the way you feel about yourself, the way one think about things, and the way you interact with others. While we all feel depression at various appropriate times in our lives, excess or inappropriate depression cannot be easily dismissed or wished away. Other reactions: abuse of drugs & alcohol is self-destructive and usually futile attempt at dealing with frustration, as are many eating and weight problems and addictions whenever the immediate effects of the addictive behaviour wear off, users find themselves back in the same, or even worse, frustrating situation. Anger is among the gamut of emotions we exhibit as a reaction to a situation, and it is a'normal' emotion too as long as it is kept under control. Some people have the propensity to explode when pushed to the extreme. They keep swallowing their emotions until they can finally do it no more, and erupt like a volcano. Others dealing with extreme anger are like a ticking time bomb. You'll never know what you unwittingly say or do can trigger an explosion. In either case, anger that cannot be controlled comes with a physical reaction. Your heart beats faster preparing you for both action and reaction. Your breathing quickens. You may clench your fist, tighten your shoulders and go into a defensive position. The problem arises out of the fact that it is almost impossible to feel anger and empathy at the same time. An angry person is seldom sensitive to the wellbeing of his victim, and hence may lash out verbally and sometimes physically. Such things done in the heat of the moment mostly leaves us with regrets. So here are a few ways to deal with extreme anger. 1. Approve it / acknowledge it: the first step in solving a problem is recognizing that you have one. The fundamental problem here is that people believe they are on the right track and refuse to budge from their views. It is essential to realize that this step is not about deciding whether you are right or wrong, but acknowledging the fact that your reaction to the situation can be channelled in a better way. When getting someone to acknowledge their anger problem, be careful as to not use negative words like wrong, false and shouldn't. Instead, influence with positive words like can and should. Instead of saying'you are wrong to react like this' you can say'i understand what you are feeling. Is there a way we can resolve this situation? 2. Understand / recognize the signs: once you know that your problems exist, you can try devising ways that will work for you in dealing with the situation. You can count to 100 to calm yourself or simply decide to not speak until you can calm yourself. Knowing that you may enter into an argument in a situation, you can list down the points that you feel strongly about and discuss each of them one by one. Working your way through a finite list gives a better opportunity to reach closure at the end. 3. Free the mind/find ways to let it go: not all arguments end in closure. A lot of unsaid justifications cloud our mind repeatedly leaving us seething from the inside. Research has shown that the normal or neurological anger response lasts less than two seconds. Beyond that it takes a strong will to stay angry. Once you realize how much your anger is consuming your mind, decide to free your mind with meditation and other calming exercises. Tell yourself that some people and issues simply don't deserve your anger, emotion, reaction or time. If you or someone you know is suffering from anger management issues, consult a doctor today. Learning to deal with frustration it is unrealistic to believe you can rid yourself of frustration forever, but you can learn to do things to minimize your frustrations and to make sure you do not engage in unhealthy responses to frustration. You will need to learn to distinguish between what you hope will happen, what will probably happen, and what actually happened. Life inevitably has its ups and downs -- its moments of relaxation and times of tension. When you learn to truly accept this reality, you come one step closer to being able to deal with frustration in a healthy way. There are several types of problems that we encounter in everyday living: those which you know can be solved, those which you are not sure if they can be solved or not, those you know are totally out of your control, and those you are so confused about that you do not even know what the problem is. You need to be able to accurately assess your abilities to alter situations that prevent you from solving your problems and reaching your goal. Then you will be able to assess which of the types of problems you have encountered, and you will then be able to develop a realistic plan. Learning to take things in stride will also help you to be more content and happy which, in turn, will help you to more easily overcome anger and frustration. If you are upset, sad, anxious, or depressed you will have less patience and tolerance for everything and everybody. Treatment of frustration frustration and anger are fundamental emotions that everyone experiences from time to time. From a very early age, people learn to express frustration by copying the behaviour they see modelled around them, and by expressing frustration and angry behaviour and seeing what they can get away with. We all suffer from frustration, and being able to effectively deal with frustration is a very important skill to develop. Each person needs to learn how to control frustration, so that it does not control them. The following is a brief overview of types of frustration management programs and resources that have proved helpful in understanding and controlling frustration and anger. I have found several approaches to treatment that have been effective for my clients including: individual and group therapy for anger management. A therapist who can observe and analyse your behaviour from an impartial perspective, can help you with your reality testing. A therapist knows many effective frustration and anger management strategies and will be able to help you develop a personalized set of strategies for changing both your thinking and behaviour. Depending on your needs, your therapist may work with you on breathing or meditation exercises to reduce frustration, safe and appropriate emotional and physical techniques to release frustration, communication, or cognitive restructuring (a method for disputing and changing the way you think). Relaxation and exercise simple relaxation tools such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery can help calm down feelings of frustration and anger. Breathing deeply, from your diaphragm, will help while breathing from your chest won't relax you. While breathing, you can slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as" relax" calm down" or" take it easy. Non-strenuous exercise, like yoga, can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer. Strenuous and vigorous exercise can also help you to work off frustration and angry feelings. Frustration can have a highly damaging impact on our frame of mind. It can turn a positive person into a person who sees nearly everything as a problem. It can slow you down, inhibit your progress, and at times completely immobilize you. We can become so wound up with our frustration that we do not, and cannot, think or act rationally. Our frustration can often exacerbate a situation and create a vicious circle. If we are convinced that our actions are not working, no matter how hard we try, we are much more likely to reduce, rather than increase, our chances of success. Remember, you cannot eliminate frustration. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you frustration and anger. Life is filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. If you feel that your degree of frustration is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counselling to learn how to handle it better. Please contact me privately on this site or another therapist.
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