Dr. Banu Rekha

Giving birth to a child is a joyous and emotional time. After nine long months of pregnancy, one greets the arrival of baby with great anticipation. It is absolutely normal that the time post delivery marks a drastic change in sexual desire. While both women and menexpect changes in their sex life immediately after the birth of a child, but as time passes by, it is normal for both partners to wonder when things will ever return to normal. It is a fairly common condition to have a decreased sex drive after giving birth and this feeling can last for months which can be attributed to many factors. Refer to the following tips to get your drive back.

1. Consult your Gynaecologist: One should take gynaecologist into confidence to discuss how one's libido has changed after child birth, who will in turn help to rule out any physical issues if any.  
2. Emotional & Physical Fatigue: Nursing a new born is no joke and it drains you physically. In a post delivery scenario, ones libido has to fight with overwhelming emotional as well as physical fatigue that results from nursing of a new born. One can share the night-time feeding with one's partner and try to catch up on the sleep with day time nap. One simply cannot look forward to sex if one is deprived of sleep.
3. Release the pressure and guilt: The body is still recovering and one may get a feel that one is not attractive as before, which makes a dramatic impact on body image. Communicate honestly with your partner about the lack of drive. It is likely that he will also be experiencing similar issues and conflicting emotions. Giving reassurance that one is working on increasing the libido can help ease the pressure on both the individuals.
4. Prepare for sex: Do anything to relax and get into the mood before hitting the bed. It can be as simple as a hot shower or a refreshing drink, but it is important to help your body transition from mother to lover.
5. Use a lubricant: It is hard to look forward to something that is painful. Breastfeeding plays a significant role in the decrease in libido. Oestrogen is an important hormone that decreases with breastfeeding which affects vaginal tissues. The most common vaginal side effects of decreased oestrogen are dryness hence it's important to use lubricants to minimize the discomfort of vaginal dryness and make sex more enjoyable.

Libido is a complicated and there will be times one has to do even if one is not in the mood. Sometimes it takes a little nudge to get the libido back into gear. Once one gets over the hurdle of not being in the mood, one may just realise that one is enjoying the act.The good news is that this decrease in libido is temporary. With time and patience, one can rebuild a satisfying sexual relationship with their partner.