I am 25 year old men. And I was sexually abused by my friend who is 1 years elder than me for 2 years at age of 14, and 15. At that time I was not known what is sex, what is rape. He took advantage of that and sexually abused me. He never took my clothes off but was used to play with my chest and rub his body against me. When I know something wrong is happening with me I never go to his house for study. I was never attracted towards him I am still interested in girls. I was just unknown with what he is doing with me because when we were studying he said we will play a game but never tell about these to anyone. Now I am going through flashbacks, feels stressed out every time. I have stopped talking to my friends they always say me that you are changed which hurts me lot. My lot of relatives are complaining about that you never call us. My parents have started looking girl for my marriage and I think I will not enjoy my married life. I have never told about these to anyone. I feel very anxious when I saw news about rape. My heart rate increases breathing heavily. And importantly I am having thoughts of suicide. Those things have started to take control over my life. Please help. I don't have mother can't tell to father and i'm from village.