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My 17 month old son is passing too many watery loose motions and not passing urine past 18 hrs, please suggest
As a parent, we all love our children deeply. And most of us will agree that these days parenting is very demanding and exhausting instead of pleasurable and joyous process. What has changed? It is not that children are any different. The difference is in the environment around them with stronger social influences; and this also affects the way we parent. In today's more democratic and egalitarian world; 'Do as I say and not as I do' style of parenting does not work. But, 'I will do as I see you doing' phrase from kids define our parent child relationship.
With change in social environment and influence, our strategies for correcting their behaviour and impart discipline has to undergo adaptation! When there are so many confusing and conflicting signals reach to our kids from their environment, whether we like it or not, we are still their role models. How positive parenting style will help? The core principle of positive parenting is to accept your child as an individual. We are in a democratic society and family is a small yet important part of society. Democracy does not mean allowing disrespectful and irresponsible behaviour; rather to effectively help kids change their behaviour and create harmonious and cooperative relationship with them. It also means that we as a parent need to learn to think, act and react in a different way.
Through, positive parenting, you will learn respectful disciplining methods, which would work better than demanding compliance. Through these principles and tips you will get your child to listen without screaming, nagging, reminding or evoking rebellious behaviour. More importantly this is all about building stronger relationship bond with your children and nurture them through early childhood to teen age years as they become independent, responsible, capable, kind, happy and successful young adults.
Tips to get you started:
- Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity, including children.
- When your kid misbehaves instead of shouting or hitting, control your anger and respond in a calm and respectful way. Calmer but firmer tone and lower voice, yet not giving into their repeated demand, is much more effective as a discipline tool compare to nagging.
- Understandable that you have a lot on your plate, such as work, managing and keeping the home in order, managing meals and other outside responsibilities, kids sports or extracurricular activities, family obligations and so on. It is easy to get lost in all these 'have to do' activities. Parenting shouldn't be just one more task to deal with. Reconnecting with your parenting goals and aspirations periodically will help take the stress out of it and add fun into it. Spend some time daily (10 minutes will do as well!) to just listen and enjoy your child (without correcting them or giving them suggestion to improve!).
- Let your love for them be the driving force. Shift your internal conversations from 'have to' to 'want to'. As you do enormous things for your child each day, think how you are supporting their ambitions. How you are helping them become independent and strong. How you are nurturing qualities like compassion and deep listening by extending yourself.
- Give promises and keep them. As your children grow they need much more than your words to trust and rely on you. Keeping your promises, letting them know if you need to change the plan, taking their opinion in appropriate matter will go a long way.
- Seek to understand and do not impose yourself on your child. Especially when they are in their teenage, as a parent you have lot of worries, you are afraid of them making mistakes and of course you want to protect them from vices. Listening to them while keeping your focus on genuinely understanding them is the only way to go, when they know you understand them and they can trust you, the street between both of you turns two way street! They will be open to your wisdom and suggestion when they are at the cross road.
- Last but not the least, 'be a role model'. Don't preach. If they see you disrespecting others, they will not respect you. If they see you hooked on your smart phone; that is their license to keep theirs in front of their eyes 24/7. If you are hooked in front of the TV till late night and haven't picked up a book in last 6 months. Advice about reading is going to fall on dumb ears. In short, be the change you want to see in your children.
- Have family nights at least once in a week, play cards, board games or go for a walk together. Talk and listen. Just be there and listen without judgement and criticism, without thinking about how to correct them. Just enjoy each other's company and see how they are changing their opinion about you. Positive parenting doesn't mean you will never have problems in your family. You will? if you are alive and growing family. Positive parenting style will open up the avenues to keep communication alive; it will open your children to your influence. Isn't it something that we all wish for!!
My son is 6 month old now and one of his testicles is not descended since birth. Should we wait for another 2-3 months or proceed with the surgery? Is surgery the only solution?
My son aged 9 years is having fever since yesterday along with loose motions. What medicine can he take?
Hi doc. My daughter is 5 months old now. She is totally on formula feed. Can I start fresh milk or amul or mother dairy milk for her? and when I can start semi solids and what yo start the in semi solids?
My son age now 6 month plus, we are given lactodex 2 & cerelac1 for feeding, is it sufficient to him also take from her mother, please advise?
My son Aged 11 years is behaving abnormally. He is showing rigidity towards his demand and always says I will go to somewhere else if his demand not fulfilled. He also use abusive word to his mother etc. Pls suggest. Is it symptom of psychological problem or its normal.
My daughter is 10 yrs. Old. She has the problem of snoring, nostrils block when she feels so hot in summers. She had an operation from ent doctor in her throat since two years. After operation the problem was clear. But now it is repeated from 6-8 months. Now she takes homoepathy treatment but no response is here. She is fatty also. Her weight increases day by day. Now she is 44 kg. What should I do.
What should be ideal kids weight for baby girl of 7 years? When it is considered underweight and for treatment? My child is 20 kg any supplements required?
My 6 month old baby is passing soft yellow stools 6-7 per day. Her pediatrician said she has milk indigestion as baby is on breastfeeding she recommended to stop completely and suggested lactose free milk isomil but baby is not taking any milk accept mothers milk. So please suggest.
My son is 18 months old. When we keep him stand he walks along. He just started walking alone from 1 months but the problem is that from 19 th August we observed that he scared to walk alone and when we leave him for walking he scared and hold our hands tightly. With holding our hands he wakes everywhere, climbed up on window, staircase. So please advice what should be the problem?
My baby is vomiting immediately after breast feeding. Why this happening? Is this cause any problem?
She is 1.5 years and she is not ready to eat anything. Before she use to like cerelac but now she does not eat that as well .we try giving variety like beetroot, carrot rice sambar rice. Vegetable ganji. But she just turns her face off anything we feed. What can be the reason.
My baby is just 1 year 2 month old and she is having a problem of not going motion freely she is doing motion once in two days that too with lots of difficulty sometimes blood too coming with motion she is facing this problem from past 3 months we consulted our nearby pediatrics but no use please kindly guide us some immediate and emergency medicine and guide us where and when and whom we have to go. We are from Chennai.
While children can light up your life with joy and laughter, sometimes they can appear to be monsters with their temper tantrums and their stubbornness. Stubborn or obstinate children can be very difficult to deal with and could end up disrupting your life as well. However, there are a few techniques that mental health professionals have suggested that can help you deal with your stubborn and obstinate child. These are mentioned here briefly –
Hear Them Out: It’s often the case that children tend to be stubborn or obstinate and start screaming when they think they weren’t heard. This makes them feel helpless and thus forces them to bottle up and then take out their frustration by either not doing what you are telling them to do or doing exactly the opposite of that. The best treatment in this scenario is to hear them out and patiently try to resolve their problems.
Ensure They Follow Your Example: If one or both of the parents are extremely stubborn, then this would translate into a stubborn kid as well. Doctors have said that obstinacy is often in the genes. Also, environmental influence is a big deal for them as well. Ensure that you are flexible enough with your partner and the child picks up on it.
Teaching Kids About Give And Take: This is a very important lesson in life as it teaches kids to choose priorities. If you teach your kid to always give, then it sends a message that putting themselves second is the best option. However, if he or she is always fighting to take first priority, it may lead to too many conflicts later. Thus it is best to teach them that it is okay to fight for what is yours but also let others have their way sometimes. This attitude will help them develop a balanced attitude and lessen their obstinacy.
Give Them The Illusion Of Choice: Children are very malleable when it comes to their minds and you can use this trick to do certain things that make them appear they have some control when they actually may not. For example, if they are unwilling to go to sleep, you can say that you cannot make them sleep, but they have to stay in bed. Your child would then automatically fall asleep after some time due to boredom which would end up serving your purpose.
Use Scolding Or The Parent Card As A Last Resort: If any of the techniques mentioned don’t work, then you can scold or warn your kid with consequences which may result in capitulation. For example, if you child is not willing to come back and study, then try and stop them from whatever they were doing and make them sit with their books. This lets them know that certain areas you will absolutely not compromise on and they will understand the limits better. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Psychiatrist.