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Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Dr. Priyanka Srivastava 89% (12 ratings)
B.A.(H)Psychology, M.A.Psychology, Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Noida  •  26 years experience
Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying ‘yes’ all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here’s what you need to do.

  1. Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
  2. Seek time before committing: The transition from saying ‘yes’ all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
  3. Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
  4. Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say ‘no’ as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.

Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

5 people found this helpful

Tooth Sensitivity - Facts You Must Be Aware Of!

Dr. Premendra Goyal 92% (302 ratings)
Dentist, Mumbai  •  26 years experience
Tooth Sensitivity - Facts You Must Be Aware Of!

Have you ever come across a situation when on a warm day, all you want is a tall glass of something cold; but you couldn't due to the sensitivity in the teeth. Isn't that really frustrating? This problem is known as tooth sensitivity and has become very prevalent. And due to the changing food habits, the condition has only gotten worse. While sensitivity was a common issue mostly in the aged people due to gum recession but now the condition is different and the condition affects a much bigger and younger group of people. The following are some facts to know about tooth sensitivity.

  1. It is a warning sign: Tooth sensitivity is often the second warning that something is wrong underneath. Enamel is lost first, but it only is a cosmetic issue. Once the entire enamel is lost, dentin gets exposed, which is what causes sensitivity. Since enamel loss does not cause any pain or sensitivity, it is often ignored. However, if treatment is initiated with enamel loss, then sensitivity can be avoided.
  2. Sensitivity can occur after dental treatment too: If you have had a filling or a denture or a crown that is not properly fitted, you may experience sensitivity. The dental prosthesis may not fit snugly and cause problems.
  3. Desensitizing toothpaste helps: Most of these contain potassium nitrate which blocks the sensitive dentin tubules and prevent sensitivity. Used as soon as the sensitivity sets in, it can be completely managed.
  4. Tooth sensitivity can be prevented: Proper oral hygiene measures can help in preventing tooth sensitivity. One of the major causes of tooth sensitivity is the change in food habits with a lot more processed and refined foods. Soft, sticky foods like chocolates are consumed more than ever. Compare that with eating a fruit or a vegetable. The fruit has a natural cleansing effect compared to a chocolate on the enamel. Rinsing your mouth with water after every meal helps remove food deposits in the teeth. It is also important to keep a constant watch on the oral cavity with annual checkup so that issues are addressed in their early stage is another way to prevent sensitivity.
  5. Tooth sensitivity is totally reversible: This depends on how religiously a person takes care of their oral health. With some minor change to oral maintenance, this is totally reversible.
    • As soon as sensitivity is identified, check with a doctor
    • In the initial stage, this can be totally reversed with desensitizing toothpaste and mouthwash.
    • Fillings or crowns which were not done properly can be corrected if they are causing the problem
    • In some cases, the tubules can be blocked by applying a thin layer of cement over it.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

1 person found this helpful

5 Ways To Improve Your Vision!

Dr. Krishna Kumar 87% (141 ratings)
BAMS, PG Dip (Medical Education), (FAGE) Fellow of Academy of General Education, MBA (Healthcare)
Ayurveda, Bangalore  •  10 years experience
5 Ways To Improve Your Vision!

Did you know that your vision is responsible for around 80% of you sensory input? your eyes are among the most delicate organs in your body. Long work hours in front of the computer and long study hours results in tired and sometimes irritating eye conditions. But help isn't too far. Before you head to the doctor, you can head to your kitchen to look for solutions. There are several home remedies that you can try to not only improve your eyesight but also get rid of glasses and rebuild your vision! here's how you can do it:

1. Exercise: Just like any other body part, your eyes need exercise too. Blinking your eyes rapidly for 5 seconds helps moisturize it. Similarly, cupping your eyes with you palms for 4-5 minutes triggers acupuncture points that helps the eye to relax. There are specific exercises to reduce eye strain, improve blurred vision and enhance reading. Do these as per the specific problem you are facing.

2. Take a break: Follow the 10-10-10 rule when you are on the computer for extended hours. For every half hour of work, take a 10 min break to look at something n a distance at least 10 feet away for 10 seconds. These becomes tricky if you are studying or working in a fast paced environment and easily forget to take breaks. Set alarms that help you know the time so that you can actively plan your breaks. To enhance break time, try to look at greenery during your 10 sec break which helps the eyes relax better. Splash your eyes with cold water to give them a fresh feel.

3. YogaYoga and meditation relaxes your body and mind. It is also a great way to relax your eyes as you get to close them and give them rest. When you close your eyes, you shut out a big chunk of sensory inputs helping your body go from an active reaction mode to a passive action mode.

4. Eat for your eyes: Make sure you add your weekly quota of vision enhancing food in you diet. Carrots which are rich in beta-carotene and vitamin a are great for the eyes. Similarly grapes and blueberries work great to improve your night vision. Green leafy veggies, garlic, shallots, eggs and onion all contribute in keeping your eyes healthy and strong. Cold water fish rich in DHA is an another great food that helps reduce dry eyes and muscular degeneration.

5. Change your lifestyle: Other than exercise and proper nutrients, you need to ensure you get a shut eye for six to eight hours every day to let your eyes fully rest and rejuvenate. As always drink 6 - 8 glasses of water. And don't forget to get regular eye check ups especially if you are a diabetic or have other health conditions that adversely affect your eyes.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

1 person found this helpful

Healthy Nutritious Diet - An Ultimate Kick To All Your Skin Problems!

MD - Dermatology, MBBS, DDV
Dermatologist, Pune  •  31 years experience
Healthy Nutritious Diet - An Ultimate Kick To All Your Skin Problems!
You should stay away from sugary foods and beverages for healthy skin. True or False. Take this quiz to know now!
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Do too much usage of phone can cause cancer? I am 21 years old and study late night, I get a 5 hours sleep everyday. What are the damages to it? And recovery. Please suggest

M.Ch - Surgical Oncology
Oncologist, Margao  •  37 years experience
Do too much usage of phone can cause cancer? I am 21 years old and study late night, I get a 5 hours sleep everyday. ...
There is radiation from phones. Best is decrease it’s use, not to use blue tooth, and use head phones.
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Hello all, I'm going to gym daily. Recently one of my friends told me that doing gym will cause in sperm count reduction. Is this true? Can anyone suggest me? Thank you.

Bachelor of Ayurveda, Medicine and Surgery (BAMS)
Sexologist, Delhi  •  7 years experience
Hello all,
I'm going to gym daily. Recently one of my friends told me that doing gym will cause in sperm count reduct...
No harm, infect it will increase your sperm count and testosterone level. Just don’t use Steroids Enjoy.
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My husband is alcoholic. He is taking 1.5 bottle in a day. He is not ready to take medical treatment now. I'm observing withdrawal symptoms like depression sweating dizziness overslept shrinking of body etc etc so what should I do and how can I help him? Please suggest

Reparenting Technique, BA, BEd
Psychologist, Bangalore  •  46 years experience
Now it is difficult to give up all by himself because he has become addicted to alcohol and has a lot to do. Under such circumstances it is best that you admit him into a de-addiction center and let him stay there for at least 6 months and after that attend counseling with a professional. There are medicines that help with the drinking just to ease the initial craving and to act as an antabuse i.e. He will have a serious reaction, if he consumes even a small quantity of alcohol or alcohol based substances. It has to be carefully monitored to see that he not only consumes the medication but is also avoiding alcohol. Ultimately, it is his will power and the support that he receives from the medical fraternity and his close and dear ones. He must also learn to substitute and deal with the oral need, a rigid value system, the script issue, and of course take a look at all the genetic factors to plan a strategy not to get into what is called ‘cross addictions’ i.e. Another form of addiction that may appear alright but is in fact as bad as the primary addiction. The center or hospital and the counselor will advise and guide him on several measures and precautions he will need to take to stay with his resolve. Even after the rehabilitation he must attend AA meetings and continue this support for a long time. The family will also need to attend some sessions and go for Al-anon meetings for their co-dependency issues. He cannot be treated in isolation because the family has gotten used to his drinking and have made some unhealthy adaptations to somehow cope. The children will also have to attend meetings to work out their issues because of the father’s habit. In fact, they are all suffering from the Adult Children Of Alcoholics Syndrome (ACOAs), which in effect means that they are genetically predisposed to alcoholism or can have cross addiction problems and that they will have similar traits of the abusing alcoholic but in a milder form. There are special support groups for them all over the world. Should they touch or indulge in alcohol or any addictive substances or behaviors, they could also become full-fledged addicts themselves. Make a serious plan with whoever else’s support you can get and act on it fast. Those symptoms are quite typical of alcoholics and may sometimes be the cause and at other times be the result.
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I am suffering from hair loss pls suggest me some useful remedies to get rid from this problem permanent.

Dermatologist, Chennai  •  18 years experience
I am suffering from hair loss pls suggest me some useful remedies to get rid from this problem permanent.
Use mintop solution twice daily. You are suffering from hormonal changes causing Androgenetic alopecia causing hair fall. It's completely stoppable even regrowth of hair is possible with certain medications without any side effects. Treatment depends on the grade of hair loss. So, it's a must for diagnosing which grade, you are in for an effective treatment. Please meet me in my clinic or do direct personal online consultation by sending photos for accurate diagnosis and proper treatment.
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Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder(OCD) - Causes, Symptoms and Treatments!

Ma Clinical Psychology
Psychologist, Pune  •  7 years experience
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder(OCD) - Causes, Symptoms and Treatments!

OCD or obsessive compulsive disorder is a mental condition, which traps people in a cycle of repetitive thoughts that push them to do repetitive behaviors. As the name states, the obsession over certain things compels them to do it over and over again. These actions will only help you feel relieved for a short time and soon the cycle starts back again.

Symptoms of OCD

The symptoms of OCD are classified into two groups, one for the obsessive behavior and the other for compulsive behavior. Some of the common symptoms for these are mentioned below:

Obsessive behaviors

As the name states this means obsessing over certain things, which varies from person to person. Some of the things could be:

  1. Being scared about making mistakes.
  2. The fear of being embarrassed in public situations.
  3. Constantly being scared about contamination by germs, microbes or dirt.
  4. Doubts about sure and simple situations and the need to be constantly reassured about them.

Compulsive behaviors

The obsessions usually results in compulsive behaviors, which you may need to perform to reassure and relieve yourself of the anxiety temporarily. Some of these may include:

  1. Trying to constantly arrange things in a certain way and still not being satisfied.
  2. Thoughts, words and images being stuck in your head throughout the day that may keep you disturbed and cause to lose sleep.
  3. You may even repeat specific words or actions multiple times as a measure of self reassurance.
  4. Hoarding of items, which have no value.

Causes of OCD

Biological factors: Certain chemical imbalances in the brain may lead to OCD, which may happen due to hormonal or biological changes. In fact certain infections are also known to trigger OCD in people.

Environmental factors: Certain types of mental trauma have been known to trigger OCD as well, such as

  1. Office, school, college or other work related stresses over a long period of time.
  2. The passing away of a near and dear one.
  3. Relationship problems.
  4. Repressed abuses from earlier in life.


Most treatments of OCD are categorized into two types:

  1. Cognitive behavioral therapy: This is a counseling based therapy where you may be slowly asked to face your fears and overcome them over a period of time.
  2. Medications: Antidepressants, inhibitors, or antipsychotic drugs or relaxants in various combinations may be used to treat OCD.
  3. Electroconvulsive therapy: Only in the rarest of cases would doctors consider electroconvulsive therapy, if the patient is a danger to themselves or others around them.
5 people found this helpful

My bp is 140/80 but resting rate pulse is 57 to 60 any problem in my pulse or heart. L take telmisartan 40 nebivolol 2.5 mg.

BHMS, MD - Homeopathy
Homeopath, Bhubaneswar  •  25 years experience
My bp is 140/80 but resting rate pulse is 57 to 60 any problem in my pulse or heart. L take telmisartan 40 nebivolol ...
No there is no problem. BP of 140 /80 is normal. Though upper one systolic is little high but at this age there will be always little stress. Still you should practice a healthy life style like regular walking of 30 to 45 minutes, avoid all sort of fried and rich foods, take less carb foods. Minimum sleep should be if 8 hours at night. Regarding pulse it is also normal. Nothing to be worry. Stay healthy. Thank you.
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I am 23 years old. I have hypo thyroid and pcod. Need to reduce my weight. Please suggest me what should b an ideal weight.

Bachelor of Ayurveda, Medicine and Surgery (BAMS), MD (AM), PGDPPHC, ACLS
Alternative Medicine Specialist, Chandigarh  •  24 years experience
I am 23 years old. I have hypo thyroid and pcod. Need to reduce my weight. Please suggest me what should b an ideal w...
Hello, We need to understand that hypothyroid and PCOD are hormonal disturbances. So you will need to follow the proper diet and lifestyle plan to reduce your weight. We provide such plans with a doctor and a dietitian helping patients as a team. Seeking professional help will always help you get better results as the metabolism is usually slow in such patients and weight loss is difficult to get.
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You people are telling masturbation is not wrong. Is it compulsory to masturbate? Does not it affect in future?

Sexologist, Panchkula  •  20 years experience
You people are telling masturbation is not wrong. Is it compulsory to masturbate? Does not it affect in future?
Daily and excessive masturbation is harmful for future married life. You can do masturbation two times a week, more than this harmful.
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Hi my friend who is 24 years old used to masturbate daily. Sometimes twice a day. I had asked him to stop his habit. So I want to know will masturbating daily lead to any problem.

Bachelor of Unani Medicine and Surgery (B.U.M.S)
Ayurveda, Indore  •  29 years experience
Hi my friend who is 24 years old used to masturbate daily. Sometimes twice a day. I had asked him to stop his habit. ...
Masturbation addiction is, simply put, the compulsive need to masturbate. The need becomes so overwhelming that the addict does not have the power to keep from masturbating. This overpowering desire is at the base of most forms of sexual addiction. The need to view pornography is usually a precursor to masturbation. Involving with prostitutes and illicit sexual activity is the next stage to it. It should be stopped as it has done lots of damage to you mentally/physically. It ruins once sexual health and even further lead them to impotency. Opt for my ayurvedic medicines (with counselling given on phone) that will help you stop this addiction. Proper medication will be given to control the urge of sexual desires and to recover the loss/damage given to the body Including penis curve and also penis enlargement. Conslt me privatly for further guidance. Do not worry Tc.
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How to Tell a Partner About Penis Infections?

MD - General Medicine
Sexologist, New Delhi  •  16 years experience
How to Tell a Partner About Penis Infections?

Every man wants to avoid a penis infection, and that's part of the reason most men adhere to very good penis care regimens. Avoiding sexually transmitted diseases is one of the main reasons a man uses a condom at each and every encounter (or if he doesn't, he knows he should!). But sometimes, despite a man's best efforts, he could wind up with a penis infection. Some of these can be easily treated, but others will be with him for life, and can dramatically change how he lives his life in the future.

One of the most unpleasant parts of a penis infection is having to tell former and current partners about the condition. These individuals deserve to know about what is going on so they can get themselves tested and take other steps to protect their own health. But for the person who has to tell them, breaking the news is definitely not an easy matter.

Here are some tips to help the man who must tell a former or current partner about sexually transmitted diseases that he might have shared with them.

1) Be absolutely sure. Don't tell them just on a hunch that a disease might be present. Have the tests, then have the results in hand when making that call.

2) Call or tell them in person. Though it might be tempting to send an email, it's always best to tell them in person, if possible, so they can ask questions immediately. If in-person won't work, call them. And if that won't work, try texting them with a request to talk - now.

3) Don't lay blame. Odds are that if a man has a sexually transmitted disease, he's not entirely sure where it came from. If there was only one partner, then obviously it could be clear - but even so, never lay blame on another person when calling to tell them the news. The idea is to get them concerned for their health and get them to get tested, not to make them feel defensive or ashamed.

4) Get the word out fast. Not only do they need to know, they need to know yesterday - so make sure to get the word to them as soon as possible. This can help them get the care they need much sooner, and can prevent them from passing it on to someone else if it turns out they do have the sexually transmitted disease.

5) Come prepared with answers. There will be many questions, of course, and most of them need to be answered by their doctor. But a man might be able to provide some insight to the partner when he mentions the disease. For instance, a guy who has been diagnosed with gonorrhea can reassure their partner that it can be cured, as long as they get to the doctor quickly and take the medication as directed.

6) Be ready for emotion. The very idea of a sexually transmitted disease can make someone feel anxious, depressed, angry, horrified, ashamed, defensive and many other emotions - sometimes all at once! And when that emotion hits, they are likely to vent on the most convenient target, which happens to be the guy who just called them with the bad news. So be prepared to listen to what they have to say yet stay calm and cool, even when dealing with that tidal wave of emotion.

Finally, a man should take every step possible to make sure he never has to make that kind of phone call or visit again. He can do this by practicing even better penis care than he has in the past, including always wrapping up the member when it's time to get busy.

And of course, daily care matters as well. He can help ensure a strong, healthy penis with a good penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which is clinically proven mild and safe for skin). This crème should contain a plethora of protective ingredients, such as L-arginine for better blood flow and oxygenation, alpha lipoic acid to fight free radicals and vitamin A to eradicate bacteria.

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