How To Deal With Sex Problems In Marriage?

Choose a time when you are both alone and not distracted. Having a conversation about sexual issues can be difficult and awkward, especially if you are both feeling the lack of sexual chemistry in the bedroom. Don’t spring the conversation on your partner when you’re having dinner at a restaurant or surrounded by friends. Look for a time when you are both alone, in a private space, to bring up the topic.

• A good time may be when you are both getting ready for bed, or after you have dinner together at home.

Broach the topic of sex in your marriage. A big part of strengthening the sexual relationship between you and your spouse is maintaining open and honest communication between you and your spouse. Bringing up the sexual issues in your marriage will show you are trying to make sex a priority in your relationship, instead of an occasional occurrence. 

• Perhaps you have grown distant from your spouse or your spouse has grown distant from you. Regardless, be proactive and get the conversation started. Let your spouse know that you realize it’s important to have an intimate connection in a relationship, especially in a marriage.

Focus on how you can both meet each other’s needs. Tell your spouse that you realize you have both been unhappy with your love life and that you want to try to do something about it. If your partner responds with, “Well, I’ve heard that before”, don’t take it personally. Instead, ask your partner how you can meet their needs, sexual and otherwise. Discuss what your partner feels is lacking in your sexual relationship and what you feel is lacking, as well. 

• Often, couples with sexual problems also have other emotional issues that have not been worked out and are hovering over the relationship. You could be lacking sexual chemistry due to boredom in the bedroom, a low sex drive (for you or your partner), a negative body image (for you or your partner), exhaustion due to the stresses of life, or a lack of connection mentally and emotionally.
• Try to work together to identify possible causes of your lack of sexual chemistry. It can be difficult to talk about issues around sex. But as partners, you owe it to each other to be honest and to share any concerns around intimacy and sex.

Hear each other out. Don’t interrupt your partner when your partner is sharing any feelings or concerns. Focus on listening before you respond or speak.