What Does Women Want In Bed?

The 6 biggest sex mistakes women make and reasons why women make them. 

Ladies, be honest: when your sex life becomes a little humdrum, out comes the mental catalogue of all the ways your partner isn’t quite measuring up. Guys tend to get a bad rap when it comes to understanding women’s bodies and what turns us on, making them easy targets in the blame game when sexual satisfaction starts to wane. And sure, they make their fair share of bedroom errors. But as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. As it turns out, that woman makes plenty of sex mistakes of their own. Here are the six most common mistakes a woman makes in the bedroom and what you can do to get the satisfaction you so rightly deserve. 

Sex Mistake #1: Not Initiating Sex With Your Partner - Many of us worry about lady-like behaviour. We don’t want to appear pushy or come on too strong for fear of being labelled aggressive. According to Dr Archana Shah, consultant gynecologist and fertility –IVF specialist, failing to initiate sex is one of the biggest mistakes women make. Generally, men want to be pursued by their partners just as much as women do. Holding onto outdated ideas about sex roles also inhibits satisfaction with their sexual relationships. Show your interest by taking the first step from time to time. Your partner will likely appreciate it, and you may find a new level of satisfaction in taking responsibility for your sexual experience, something I feel strongly women must do. 

Sex Mistake #2: Worrying About What You Look Like - Thinking about how you look during sex stops you from enjoying yourself and ruins your chances of achieving an orgasm. Don’t think about the fat on your belly or the makeup on your face. Concentrate on the pleasure of the act. You must give yourself permission to have an orgasm. Men want their wives to abandon themselves in sex play, and that’s not likely if she is anxious about her physical concerns. Men don’t notice half the things women obsess about anyway. It’s amazing what men don’t notice if you’re enthusiastic, energetic, interested in them, and flexible minded.” 

Sex Mistake #3: Assuming Sex Is Casual for a Man - We should all let go of old-fashioned notions, such as women are not sexual or that sex is just sex to men. For some men, sex is a very important act. Don’t minimize it. The idea that both men and women find sexual intimacy in the context of a committed relationship to be more satisfying. Never assume that a man is not romantic. Two huge mistakes in this culture are that women are not sexual and that men are not as romantic [as women]. 

Sex Mistake #4: Believing He’s Always Up for Sex - Sure, most teenage boys are ready and willing just about any time you ask, but not true for men. The pressures of everyday life -- family, work, money -- can zap a man’s libido. This comes as a big surprise to many women, and often his lack of interest in sex is something we take personally. It comes as such a shock [to women] that they just don’t believe it, the reaction many women have when their partner says they aren’t in the mood for sex. They know themselves, that they are not always interested in sex but they still love the man. But when they discover he doesn’t want to have sex, they think, ‘he doesn’t love me.’ Not true. He just doesn’t want to have sex. 

Sex Mistake #5: Not Giving Him Guidance - Talking very directly about sex, what we like and don’t like can make us feel uncomfortable, even with a partner we’ve been with for a long time. But it’s the only way to achieve a satisfying sexual relationship. A woman must take responsibility for her sexual encounter. No man can bring a woman to orgasm if she doesn’t take responsibility for her sexual experience. Even the best lover can’t know what she needs without her letting him know. However, the good news is that men very much want to please women. If you can tell them in a way that doesn’t kill their ego, they will appreciate it. I advises women to sandwich what they don’t like in between five things they do because he’s listening. You won’t find out until the next time you’re in bed with him. But men do listen, particularly if you’re quite clear about it. 

Sex Mistake #6: Getting Upset When He Suggests Something New - After a couple has been together for a while, it’s natural to want to spice things up with a little variety. Just because your man wants to try something new doesn’t mean he’s unhappy with you or your sex life. In short: Don’t take it personally.