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Sexual Life - How To Improve It?

Written and reviewed by
Ms. Annuradha Rakesh 92% (18 ratings)
M.Phil Clinical Psychology, M A Psychology (Clincial Psycholgy), BA Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi  •  20 years experience
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Hi,

I am Dr. Anoop Kumar KV, Psychologist. I am Ms. Annuradha Rakesh, Psychologist. Today we will discuss an interesting topic which is how to improve sexual life. It is a very sad thing a lot of people think about sex completely biologically but in fact, it is a mutual, caring, sharing activity. It brings a lot of beautiful thing about love. 3 important things are there to improve your sexual life. 1. Busting the myths regarding sexual activities. 2. What are the aspects which cause sexual dysfunction? 3. How to enrich sexual life? Myth is that people think that only beautiful people can have great sex. People who are old and sick cannot have sex. People with disability cannot ask for sex. It is only meant for certain type and category of people. These all are not true. We tend to believe. Having a good sexual life is the right of every individual whichever category a person belongs to. People think having a good looks means having a big penis, unfortunately. If we see the old painting, there we see a big breast and big penis. If we see scientifically, the penis should not be larger than 7 cm.

These are the reasons that people have wrong ideas and huge myths about sexual life. The pleasurable part of the vagina is within the reach which means however the small size the penis is, it can provide the pleasure to the woman. As far the breast size is concerned, we have seen that it is the part of the body image. So, it has hardly anything to do with sexual activities. It is all about imagination. Penis and breast size is nothing to do with sexual activities. Next myth is about the hymen. This is more prevalent in ladies. The hymen is just a small layer of the membrane in the vagina which can easily be burst with some sort of exercises, cycling, going to the gym, swimming. And many times it does not lead any kind of bleeding. There is a belief that if it breaks during the intercourse then only a man gets to know that the woman is pure. 3rd myth is regarding masturbation. It is a very normal activity. More than 60% of men and 40% of women indulge in masturbation activity pre-marriage as well as post-marriage. It is an activity for self-satisfaction.

There is a syndrome found in India that is culture bond syndrome and in hindi we call it dhat syndrome. Humein lagta hai ki muscularity se related dhat beh jata hai. These all are just a myth and nothing to do with sexual life. Whenever masturbation is required then only you can indulge in it. Another myth is regarding the tightness of the vagina. It is a common concern for most of the men. If the vagina is not tight which means a woman was indulged in sex in prior days. The vagina is elastic in nature. If the woman is aroused, it will get the space for penetration and if a woman is scared, it will make the penetration more difficult. People think that men are always ready for sex. Men or women can get tired, fatigued, they might not be able to get indulge in sexual activities anytime, anywhere. At times, you do not want to get indulge, you might not get the erection and that is very common. It is nothing to do with your capacity. Another common misconception is everyone is having sex. On average, couples get to indulge in sexual activities once or twice a week. Women consider it a lot and men consider it less.

This is the only difference. We think that other people are having more sex than we are having. So, rather having a maximum number of times, have the quality one. People believe that having sex every time when you have an orgasm. We are not a puppet or any machine to have the orgasm every time. It is all about the mindset, body ability, day, time, circumstances and nature of the orgasm also changes. Another myth that a woman believes that it is a man responsibility to provide an orgasm. How is it possible? Sex is an activity here 2 people are involved. Until and unless both are responsible to provide pleasure to each other. It should not be the man responsible to satisfy his woman. So, you have to be an equal partner. Now we are finishing the myth bursting part. Now we will talk about certain sexual dysfunction which might require some kind of clinical strategy. There are 3 common sexual dysfunctions. 1. Premature ejaculation. 2. Erectile dysfunction. 3. Vaginismus. Premature ejaculation means that a man enters into a woman vagina and less than a minute, he ejaculates and comes out. So, a normal span is 4-6 mins.

In erectile dysfunction, man is not able to get the proper erection in spite of providing the proper stimulation to the penis. So, one situation can be that they are not able to get the erection or in another situation they are not able to sustain. This has been seen in anxiety before doing the intercourse. In vaginismus, a woman feels a severe pain or contraction in the vagina which doesn't allow them to have good penetration into their vagina. They find the whole process extremely painful. There is a specified technique which helps a woman to deal with it. There are relaxation therapies, sex therapies which helps a woman to deal with it and provides a good sexual life. Now the most important part is how to make your sexual life more enriching? 1. spend a good time with each other. Romance in the relationship dies after marriage. Sadly, it is the truth. Spending time with each other, doing celebrations, going for the movie together, out for a picnic.

So, before and after marriage are the 2 phases of life. 2nd is spontaneity in sexuality. Every time when you think about sex, you should be able to have sex. But there should be planning also. People think that how can you plan a sex life. But I actually recommend to my clients. Like before marriage, you used to plan a date night or a romantic dinner. So, plan for it. Take time in planning a beautiful time with your partner. Make everything ready. 3rd important point is retaining love in sexual life. What is love? It involves 3 important concepts. Love comprises of affection, commitment, and passion. When there is love, there is care, and a lot of foreplay involves sex. When we talk about sex, they only talk about intercourse. Many times people think that orgasm can happen only by vaginal intercourse. But you can get the orgasm by cuddling, foreplay. So, you have to figure out what excites you and your partner. You can tell to your partner that what you like and whatnot. It is important to know each others body and soul. It was a nice opportunity to interact with you. We can meet and talk to each other to resolve the problems.

Thank You.

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