It goes without saying that the notion of virginity is quite heterocentric and it excludes a large mass of people who may think that they have lost their virginity. The word ‘virgin’ means one who has not had sexual intercourse, which may be verified by an intact hymen. However, a girl whose hymen is intact may have had intercourse, whereas a girl who has never had intercourse may not have an intact hymen. The idea of chastity and virginity needs to be clarified.
There are virgin individuals who are not chaste and chaste individuals who are not physiologically virgin. There is no reason to think that you are going to lose your virginity only when a male genital enters through it. The truth is that you may lose your virginity through manual stimulation, oral sex, sex toys and there is no specific set of criteria that have to be met. And, a virgin woman must bleed at the first attempt at sexual intercourse is a myth. This usually occurs due to the rupture of the hymen in virgins.
However, the hymen may be absent from the birth or might rupture while playing games, doing exercises or using tampoons. Hence, a woman need not necessarily bleed at the first attempt at sexual intercourse to prove her virginity. I have seen plenty of marriages on the rocks because of this misconception. It is all a matter of a big issue over a small tissue! Likewise, there are several things you should know about losing Virginity given be experienced Sexologist of Ahmedabad:
- The vagina is not going to bleed incessantly: There are some women who do not experience any bleeding at all while it is also true that some women bleed too much. This is initiated due to the tearing of hymen and since all women have varying hymenal tissue, no one can predict the amount of blood you can expect.
- Hymen-check is not the foolproof method of determining virginity: Since different people have different thickness of vaginal tissue, some can get thinner while others can wear out or have lesser blood vessels than others.
- Losing virginity does not always hurt: When you are doing it for the first time, you can expect a certain amount of pressure or pain. But the overall experience is supposed to be pleasurable and not unpleasant. So, if it is hurting unbearably, you must stop and focus on lubrication.
- Get warmed up first: When people are absolutely sure about having sex, most people tend to ignore the initial steps and jump on to the main event. But this is something you must refrain from. The more the arousal, the more pleasant and less painful it is.
- Having an orgasm should not be your aim: It’s true that orgasms are beautiful, but you should not focus entirely on achieving an orgasm. You must also try to learn what your partner likes or dislikes; it is fun and important too.
- You won’t be able to hit orgasm for the first time: Research shows that women are less likely to have an orgasm while having intercourse for the first time. But there are ways to increase the likelihood, such as having sex with a familiar partner, shifting the focus from penetration and involving in a significant amount of foreplay.
- You can get pregnant the first time you lose virginity: This is really important. You can get pregnant the first time the male genital gets into the vagina and starts ejaculating. Therefore, have your birth control measure ready to keep an unwanted pregnancy at bay.
In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!