How Do You Tell When Women Are Done Having Sex?

I know for a guy, sex is over once he ejaculates. But when is the sex over for a girl? because i've always been told in sex ed that the guy is" finished" once he cums & that girls don't always ejaculate during sex. But I never really thought to ask about when a girl is" finished" so when does a guy know the sex has finished for both, if the girl doesn't always" finish off" like guys do?

Heather corinna replies:

• For men or women, sex is over when one or both partners don't want to have it anymore, either because they both feel satisfied with the sex they had, or just because one partner or both, even if the sex didn't result in orgasm, or feel like they wanted it to, just feels done with the whole works and not very interested in sex anymore.
• Obviously, some partners may decide for their partners that sex is over just because they are have gotten what they wanted out of it, but since partnered sex is supposed to be about two people, not one, that's not an approach i'd advise for a sex life of any real quality for everyone involved.
• Sex isn't just about orgasm, or about getting one or both people to orgasm, and having that be the whole point. Sex is about the people involved experiencing physical and emotional pleasure together throughout, with or without orgasm, before, during and after. Ideally, during sex, we're both checking in with our partner to tell them what feels good and to ask if they are feeling good. We ask what our partner wants throughout sex, and that communicationis part of sex. We don't need to just guess or wonder, nor assume that because one or both of us has reached orgasm, sex is or should be over.
• One thing to understand is that men and women alike can reach orgasm more than once: just because a person reaches orgasm once or ejaculates doesn't necessarily mean they're all done. Now, not everyone can ejaculate or orgasm more than once, nor can people who can do those things do them every day or even want to every time they have sex. But often enough in your sex life, you'll probably fine that reaching orgasm once, for you and your partner, doesn't automatically turn off your or their desire for more sex or other kinds of physical intimacy.
• As well, just because one person reaches orgasm doesn't mean sex is over or done: what you were taught in sex ed, in fact, may have been biased. For a very long time, through much of our history, women's sexuality was all but dismissed, or made to only be about satisfying men. Many, many women have been taught that what determines when sex is over is when a male partner says that it is or reaches orgasm. But just because a guy feels done doesn't mean his partner does (that's huge with vaginal intercourse, since while most men will orgasm with that alone, most women will not, and additionally, on average, it takes women longer to reach orgasm than it does men), nor that, even if he can't get another erection, the sex has to be over: sex isn't just about genitals or erection, for men or women. We can and do have sex with more than a penis or our genitals: we have hands, mouths and all kinds of other body parts which are sexual for both of us. Too, a lot of the way people approach sexuality when teaching it is based around reproduction, even though not only is sex not about that for everyone, even for those trying to reproduce through sex, it's still usually also about pleasure and about sharing something intimate together. By all means, when a male and female couple is having sex to try and reproduce, once the male ejaculates, that's all that's needed to make pregnancy possible: a woman doesn't have to orgasm or ejaculate to become pregnant.
• Women with male partners do often know when their partner has an orgasm, but not just because he ejaculates (if he does: men sometimes do not ejaculate when they orgasm: they're usually related, but separate, events). Sex is a pretty goopy, wet enterprise, and often, a woman isn't going to specifically feel that her partner has ejaculated if his penis is inside her vagina, which is also a wet place. With oral sex, because semen has a taste, you can tell, and with manual sex or mutual masturbation, you can see ejaculation. Often, whatever the gender of our partner, if our genitals, mouths, or hands are around or in their genitals, we can learn to feel the contractions which usually happen with orgasm, and have a pretty good idea of when a partner is having one. All the same, women usually know best when their male partners have reached orgasm because they say so, as in" holey moley, that orgasm rocked".