TOP 10 CAUSES FOR LOW SELF ESTEEM
Self esteem is how one judges oneself. This judgement is based on various parameters and also experiences from childhood. While a positive self esteem allows a person to form a realistic sense of self and their surroundings, low self esteem can cause a problem to harbour a negative and defeatist attitude about themselves and life in general. Below, are mentioned top 10 causes for poor self esteem:
1. CHILD ABUSE AND PUNISHMENT: if someone has undergone physical and emotional abuse as a child, then the implied message that the child gets about themselves is that they are bad and deserve to be punished. Most likely culprits are parents, relatives, neighbours, strangers and teachers. Every child requires love, attention, praise and affection while growing up so that they can develop a healthy sense of self. Parental ill treatment and negligence can make the child feel insecure, abandoned and mistrustful of people. This hampers with their ability to develop secure relationships as a child and as an adult. They could even develop anti social behaviours like aggressiveness, which could lead to low self esteem.
2. EXCESSIVE CRITICISM AND COMPARISONS: Parents tend to excessively criticise their children over trivial issues like mastering a task in young age and comparing with other children or siblings over studies, looks and behaviour. When a child is constantly reminded that he is no good, it results in the child feeling shame and inadequate in themselves. Such events create a feeling of worthlessness and pessimism and hesitancy to work towards positive thinking.
3. EXPECTATIONS: Some parents have unrealistic expectations from their children which may not be age appropriate or what the child wants to do. If a child is constantly reminded of this, then he gets the feelings of letting down his parents which bring on feelings of guilt. It usually happens with parents who have some unfulfilled dreams of their own. As an adult, such people will suffer from poor self esteem as they would constantly feel that they don't measure up to people's expectations of them.
4. PHYSICAL LOOKS: If a person thinks that their physical appearance is lesser in comparison to another person, then it could lead to feelings of poor self esteem. In a society which is driven by physical beauty, this is a very common cause for self esteem issues, especially for girls.
5. FINANCIAL AND SOCIAL POSITION: If a person is constantly comparing their financial and social position to people who are at a higher level, then it calls for poor sense of self. Feelings of inferiority and insignificance could get highlighted.
6. UNFULLFILLED DREAMS: When peoples dreams and desires remain unfulfilled despite hard work, they treat failure as an ultimate truth which results in poor self image.
7. UNEMPLOYMENT: Unemployment can make a person feel unsafe, insecure, helpless and worthless. Inability to provide for their family can be very daunting and lead to poor self esteem.
8. BETRAYAL: Betrayal in a romantic relationship and/or significant relationships can rob a person of his trust on themselves and make them think that there is something wrong with them.
9. ILL HEALTH: If a person has been suffering ill health/ disability for some time, it can rob them of self confidence to do tasks independently. If the quality of life is compromised or they are unable to maintain social relationships due to ill health, then it can become a reason for poor sense of self.
10. NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES: Negative experiences are a part of everyone's lives. If for some reason, a person goes through a string of such experiences like demotion, betrayal, unemployment, isolation, etc, the person starts thinking that something is wrong with them and they have done something to deserve it.

It is important to think positively and have a realistic image of self, others and situations. Counselling and Psychotherapy can help people immensely to overcome such experiences, re-parent themselves and work on their strengths and limitations and develop a healthy sense of self.