If you want to share a relationship that will stand the test of time, it is important to get to know your own sexual preferences so you can find someone who shares them with you. It is possible to discover many of your sexual preferences on your own by simply reflecting on who you find most attractive, and what scenarios most appeal to you from books, movies, and fantasies. Other preferences may only take shape in the context of a relationship either because you are introduced to something new, or because you learn to like something you never experienced before.
Think about how much you really want to have sex with other people. If you sometimes feel different than other people because you feel content being single and celibate, ask yourself the following:
- Do you find that you lack any desire for or attraction to members of either gender? You may think some people are good looking, but do not feel "turned on" by looking at them the way your friends seem to be.
- Or are you attracted to some people of the same and/or opposite gender, but you do not actually want to have sex with those people? Did you try making out with, or having sex with people you felt attracted to, and find you did not enjoy the experience?
- If you answered "yes" to one or more of these questions, you do not need to feel alone or abnormal. There are many others who are asexual like you. Asexuals sometimes enjoy romantic relationships without sex, or with limited sex. Asexuals may seek out just cuddling and physical affection, or they may only want platonic friendships in their life.
- There is a strong online support community for asexuals that you may want to reach out to, to seek advice and support on how to handle feeling "different" than your single and "coupled" friends, and to seek advice on how to pursue the kinds of non-sexual (or quasi-sexual) relationships you want in your life.